Weeks passed and all I had to show for my marriage was a few more fumbling instances where neither of us would cave. The difference being he could probably go without sex indefinitely, I had to feed sooner or later. The day I'd be forced to choke down black Deabru blood came closer and closer and I could see no way of avoiding it. Zuriel's jealousy wouldn't allow me to bring my slaves here. I couldn't be sure of their safety anyway if they did come.

I dressed for yet another state dinner. This time in a flowing pink gown that was more my taste than Zuriel's, but I didn't care. Delighting his senses wasn't getting my marriage consummated, so what was the point of doing so?

As I entered the dining hall, the jovial discussions turned to low whispers. I walked past twelve lords and ladies with my chin up pretending not to know they seemed to regard me as the killer of joy.

I took my seat next to the king, and smiled softly as he brought my hand to his lips, a gesture meant more for the court than for me but something about his tenderness still struck a part of me, new and confusing. I had to compose myself as I had before. Regardless of my strange feelings it was still fake. If they discovered our marriage was a sham they would rebel, desperate to finish a war that had cost them so much over the years. I had to make sure that didn't happen.

The servants had finally stopped putting a plate in front of me a few weeks back which I was eternally grateful for. The smells alone were too much for me to stand. And their food was at least one thing Zuriel hadn't insisted I partake in. But they did have the good sense to keep my goblet filled with sweet wine.

"So, do you think you're with child yet?"

I didn't even need to look up. I could recognize Mara's voice from anywhere. It was the sound of claws tearing against stone. "No. I do not believe I'm pregnant." I said simply, taking another sip of my wine.

"How strange. Alaster and I conceived our brood on our wedding night. They say a woman's passion plays a part in the chance of conception. No surprise such a cold thing has trouble creating life."

I turned to Zuriel. "Brood? How many offspring do you produce and is that number a function of the male or the female? Because no one said anything about broods." Beastly.

He took my hand in his. "Don't worry. You won't be given more than you can bear."

"Are you sure of that?" Mara interjected. "After all, she's so delicate. Even if she could carry half Deabru children to term, I doubt she'd be able to survive the birth. Maybe she knows this. Maybe she's doing something to prevent getting pregnant and is only playing the role of wife to keep us from decimating her people."

Once again Mara questioned my loyalty and yet Zuriel did nothing to defend me. But he tensed at her words. Something I wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been holding my hand. He was upset, yet he was holding back? Why?

Then I remembered something he said to me before about having to fight my own battles. These people respected brutality, if they were going to accept me as their queen I had to show I was capable of being as temperamental as they were.

I shot to my feet allowing my pent up anger free for the first time. "How dare you question my loyalty? I am your queen, and until you give me the respect I am due, there is no room for you at my table. You are banished from court! Leave. Now."

Mara dismissed everything I said like I was a bit of foul wind and turned to Zuriel. "Are you really going to let her do this? I've lived at court since I was a child."

Every eye in the room was on Zuriel. Would he take the side of me or his best friend? I had to give him credit. He didn't even seem to hesitate when he said, "Your queen has spoken. Why you are still here?"

Mara threw her chair against one of the stone pillars, but then she stormed from the room with Alaster following quickly behind after offering an apologetic look to me and Zuriel.

I had done it, finally, something that must have pleased my husband, but also freed me from the constant degradation of that harpy. I sat back sipping my wine and feeling in control of something for the first time since arriving here. And it felt wonderful. I could sense a change in the room. The other lords realized I had the power and resolve to at the very least deprive them of access to their king. To some of them, that was a fate worse than death.

After dinner, Zuriel took my hand again and staring deeply into my eyes asked, "Shall we retire to my quarters?" I couldn’t help but gawk at him for a moment, where had this come from?

I grinned wickedly. "If it pleases you, Sire."

I had no idea how far putting Mara in her place would get me. If it would get me a legitimate marriage that couldn't be annulled, then expelling her from court was the best decision I'd ever made.

My thighs clenched in anticipation. While I still had many hang ups about Zuriel's species, I couldn't deny that he knew how to touch a woman and the experience would be pleasurable if nothing else.

As the door to his quarters shut behind us, I was already reaching for the shoulders of my dress, ready to leave it in a pile on the floor.

"How could you?"

That's when I realized sex wasn't on the table. I readjusted my dress. "What would you have me do? She once again suggested my intentions were treasonous in front of the entire court."

"Why couldn't you break her nose? Why did you have to permanently send her away? She's my oldest, dearest friend."

My mouth fell open. "You wanted me to brawl with her in the middle of the dining hall? Perhaps we should have oiled up first. Maybe there was time to place bets. I am a queen, not a brawler."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, fighting is beneath you. Everything is beneath you. I get it."

"Including you."

I regretted the words the moment they slipped past my lips and the look on Zuriel's face was that of a man having his worst fears confirmed.

He turned from me. "Go back to your wolf."

"I thought you said that once vows were made they couldn't be broken and that by Deabru law we were married and always would be no matter what."

"That's true, but I can't imagine you'll have trouble continuing in your old life given your husband is so far beneath you."

"What about the truce?"

"This will destabilize my rule, but I can handle it. A few of my lords will have to die before they can organize to overthrow me, but in the end I'll maintain my throne and as long as I refuse to attack then you and your people will be safe."

I took a step closer to him. "Why would you do that?"

He looked at me with such sorrow it hurt to meet his gaze. "For years I've heard tales of your beauty. But not just your beauty. I heard about your wit and your charm, your kindness and bravery. When I look at you, I see a worthy queen. I just wish you saw the same when you looked at me."

"When I look at you, I see a king who is strong, wise, merciful and a damn good kisser. But I also see razed villages. Mutilated children. And the near extinction of my kind. And I understand that you didn't start this war and you've only been dealing with the mess you inherited, the same as me. How do I push aside mountains of blood and open my heart to you?"

He brushed my cheek so tenderly I could feel my heart tremble. What was happening?

"Your brother and my sister managed to find a way. Why can't we?"

I chuffed, forcing down whatever it was I was feeling. "Julian was always far less sensitive than me. It was something I envied about him."

"My sister was the same. She always put the mission before her feelings. Drove me crazy."

"If Julian had any idea what she was going to do, he would have released her. He would have done anything for her, including risking war if it meant saving her life."

Tears welled up in Zuriel's eyes and the sight threatened to break me.

I gently slid my thumb across his cheek, wiping them away. "I'm not leaving. I won't cause a civil war just because you want peace between our peoples."

He pulled himself together and nodded.

"I should go to my room. I'm sorry about Mara. I really did think sending her away was the best course of action." I left his room without another word and headed to my own in a daze. My one job was to support my husband and yet I was systematically destroying him inside and out. Maybe Mara was right, maybe I would be his downfall whether I intended to or not.