Lake got fired from the restaurant. She’d missed too many days and then when she finally had shown up, she was hours late. While she wasn’t happy about it, it did mean we got more time together before I left—or so I’d thought.

The day after she’d been let go, she had to work the shelter’s front desk, and no amount of sweet talk on my part could convince her to call in. To top it off, the place was in Brooklyn, an area I’d never taken the time to research. Since I couldn’t spend the morning with her, I jammed as many appointments into our time apart as I could. I turned on the charm and sold the shit out of Ainsley-Bushner pharmaceuticals. I wanted to leave Lake with money, and return to her with it, so she wouldn’t ever have to worry about our situation.

While she was finishing up at the animal shelter, I worked on repairs throughout her apartment—and there were plenty to choose from. Between loose floorboards, a faulty flush valve, mold, and a backed-up shower drain, I’d already been to the hardware store twice.

With half my torso under her kitchen sink, I tried to come to terms with the fact that this time tomorrow, I’d be leaving for the airport. Five days hadn’t been enough time. A thousand days wouldn’t be. Every minute I spent without her, my body ached. My mind wandered too far away. Was Brooklyn as dangerous as I’d heard? What if leaving her tomorrow would be too hard? What if she was held up at the shelter, and they needed her another hour of the twenty-four I had left with her?

I heard the door and glanced up as Lake came into the kitchen, a spring in her step. “I told my boss all about you, and she let me off a little early,” she said, grinning. “What’re you doing?”

“Replacing corroded nuts and traps,” I said, trying not to sound as relieved to see her as I felt.

She laughed. “Have you been at it all day?”

“I tried to get as much done as I could before I go.” I used my sleeve to wipe sweat from my upper lip since my hands were greasy. “And I needed somewhere to take out my sexual frustration. You went for a run this morning and left me all alone in bed.”

“I’m sorry.” She set her purse on the kitchen table. “It calms me down.”

“You’re not calm?”

“You’re leaving,” she said. “And I’m scared. It feels . . .”

She was scared—she didn’t know the meaning of the fucking word. I had no idea how I was going to get by once I returned to California. I was already on edge being away from her.

I put down the pliers to slide out from under the sink. “How’s it feel, Lake?”

She crossed the kitchen, stepped one foot over my torso and looked down at me. Would’ve been nice if she were wearing a skirt, but she had jeans on. After seeming to think, she lowered her ass onto my chest. “This is how it feels,” she said. “Like I can’t breathe, and when I do, it hurts.”

She could’ve crossed her legs and given me all hundred and ten pounds of her, it wouldn’t matter. “This doesn’t hurt,” I said.

“If I sit here long enough it will,” she said.

“I don’t think so. I think the longer you sit here, the better it will feel.”

I didn’t want her to waste time being sad. The clock was running down, and I hadn’t felt this content since before she’d left me in California. I wasn’t ready to let go of it. “Look, if the divorce is going to take awhile,” I told her, “I’ll fly out to visit. Even if it’s for a day or two. How about next time I’m here, we paint this place? Any color you want. I’ll build you furniture that matches and install some lighting. You won’t even recognize the place when I’m done with it.”

She smiled and moved her ass into my lap, right where I wanted it. “What if I want hot-pink walls?” she asked.

“Then you’re going about it the right way. But wait until you hear what else I did today.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Caught two mice, set them free, and sealed all the holes in the walls.”

She gasped. “Are you serious? You didn’t kill them?”

“Against my better judgement, no.”

“Oh my God. You’re my hero.” She wiggled on my lap—that alone was worth all the extra effort it’d taken me to spare the lives of fucking rodents—and said, “You deserve a reward.”

I took her hips as my balls tightened up. “That so?”

“Manning?” she asked, leaning her hands on my chest.

“Yeah, Birdy.”

“The other day, when I did that . . .”

“Did what?”

“You know.” Slowly, she ran her tongue along the edges of her teeth. Not to be sexy, but to say what she couldn’t with words. My cock stirred anyway. “Was it okay? Could I do it better?”

I watched her mouth, remembering the pure ecstasy of having it on me for the first time. It’d be impossible to describe that feeling with words. “You’re asking if it felt good when you gave me head? Did you like it when I did it to you?”

She blushed, curling her hands into my t-shirt. “Yes.”

“How much did you like it?” I asked.

She thought it over. “I never imagined sex could be that good. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been, having sex with you.”

I swallowed painfully, suddenly overcome. I knew it wasn’t the sex that made her so happy, but the intimacy of it, because the same was true for me. “Lake, I’d venture a guess that however good it felt for you, it was ten times better for me.”

“But isn’t it always like that, with all the girls?”

There was something about getting your dick sucked by the one you’d fantasized about for so long—it wasn’t the same as any other girl. Technique, capability, experience . . . it all went out the window. “You remember that night in the truck?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“How anything, even one touch, would’ve felt like the world?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“That’s how everything feels now. You were perfect. And as we get to know each other, it’ll only get better. You’ll learn what I like over time.”

“I want to learn now.”

I pulled her down and kissed her. I was sweaty and greasy, but if I had to take her in the shower, that wasn’t a problem for me. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance. I heard a squeal, and Lake drew back in time for me to see Val whirl around in the doorway.

“Gross,” she said, covering her face.

“What are you doing here?” Lake asked.

“I live here,” she shot back.

Fucking Val. This wasn’t how or when I’d wanted to see her again. I just wanted time alone with Lake, who was getting up off my lap when I wanted her to be doing the opposite.

“I meant why aren’t you at Julian’s?” Lake asked.

Still shielding her eyes, Val put out a hand and felt her way to the kitchen counter. “We broke up. I need vodka. Now.”

“Oh no. Again?” Lake asked. “You can open your eyes. We aren’t naked or anything.”

Val dropped her hand and started fixing herself a drink. “Why were you having sex on the floor?”

“We weren’t,” Lake said, her voice pitching. “Manning was fixing the sink for us. He did a ton of stuff around the apartment.”

“Awesome. Now I don’t have to flash the super to get his attention.” Val turned on a small radio in the corner of the counter and switched the song from 2Pac. “If only Julian wasn’t so precious about his artist’s hands—”

“Wait, back up,” I said, climbing off the floor.

“What? Not a fan of Marcy Playground?” Val glared at me, chin over her shoulder, and raised the volume on “Sex and Candy.”

Shutting off 2Pac was an offense in and of itself, but that wasn’t what’d snagged my attention. “No—what was that about the super?”

It was the first time she’d looked at me since she’d walked in, and her eyes narrowed. Lake hadn’t mentioned any issue there, but by Val’s expression, I was pretty sure she knew my history with Lake—and didn’t approve. Val turned to face me and tried pushing some of her curls behind her ear, but they kept popping back out. “Why do you think everything in here is broken?” she asked. “The super won’t fix shit. I haven’t figured out if he’s lazy or if he’s staring so hard at my tits while I talk that his brain short circuits.”

“You didn’t seriously flash him, did you?” I asked her. I knew Lake would never do that, but I hated the thought of a perv in the building. For fuck’s sake, he probably had a key to their place. My face warmed. “Where does this guy live?”

“We can handle it,” Lake started. “We’ve been handling—”

“Lake, sweetheart.” I cut her off, cracking my knuckles. “I’ll take care of it.”

Val raised a freshly made cranberry vodka in my direction. “Apartment 6E. Have at it.”

I left the girls and headed upstairs. The super was a gangly old man, short on hair and abundant in beer gut. I was pretty sure Charles would forget his pride if he knew his daughter was relying on this man for anything.

“The building’s not up to code, which you know,” I told him as he answered the door in a wife-beater. “Let’s start with the lock to the building. It needs replacing.”

“Who are you?” he asked.

“I’m visiting my girlfriend in 5C, and she needs some repairs.”

“Right.” He scratched his graying chest hair. “I have her requests. I’ll get to ’em when I can.”

He started to close the door on me, but I caught it. “I’ve done a lot of it the past few days, but she needs her radiator replaced among other things. Handle it by next week, or I’ll report you to the Attorney General’s office right before I bring the fire department by for an inspection.”

“Who the hell are you? Do you sign my paychecks?” he asked. “I’ll get to it when I get to it.”

“It’s not an empty threat.” I had no problem calling for back-up however I needed to. I’d once wanted to serve the public. There were other men out there like me and I could find them. “I’ll get the landlord on the phone right now if we need to bring him into it.”

He shook his head. “Fine. Next week. That all?”

I held the door open and added, “That’s my girlfriend down there and her roommate. Lake tells me anything I don’t want to hear, and I’ll come back for a less friendly visit. No firemen. Just you and me.”

He raised a hand. “I have no idea what you’re getting at, but I got no business with those girls. Only doing my job.”

I released the door and went back to Lake’s apartment. I didn’t like the situation, but I had to trust Lake and Val were smart enough to know what they were doing. They’d lived in New York for years after all, and Val didn’t strike me as the type to take shit.

When I walked into the kitchen, the girls were talking about Val’s ex, some guy with what sounded like a chick’s name. It didn’t appear that Lake and I would be getting the alone time I’d planned on. “I’m going to hop in the shower,” I said, giving Lake a look that made her stand and follow me into the bathroom.

“She broke up with her boyfriend,” Lake said.

I stripped off my shirt and flipped on the water. “I heard. What does that mean for me?”

“She needs me.” Lake gave me a reproachful look. “She’s sad.”

“I’m sad.” I pulled her into my arms as the mirror steamed over. “I don’t want to share you. It’s our last night together.”

Lake kissed me quickly on the lips. “I just need to listen to her for a bit. Clean up and go wait for me in the bedroom.”

“Don’t be long,” I said, releasing her.

After I showered, I spent the next thirty minutes on Lake’s bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to her clock radio as I fantasized about all the things we were supposed to be doing. When she walked in the bedroom, closing the door lightly behind her, I was already hard. I sat up, reaching for her, pulling her onto the mattress. “Come here.”

“Shh.”

“Why?” I asked.

Her long hair brushed the tops of my forearms. “Val’s right out there.”

I took off her top, laying her back on the bed. “I don’t care.”

“I do. I don’t want her to hear us.”

“Then she should leave.” I opened Lake’s jeans, running my hands over the smoothness of her stomach. She lifted up to get out of her pants but all I saw was the beg of her hips, welcoming me. When I had her stripped from the waist down, I said, “Turn over.”

“Can you be quiet?”

“If I have to be. Can you?”

She reddened, then flipped onto her stomach. With my knees on each side of her, I opened the clasp of her bra to run my hands over her back. My thumbs touched in the middle, over her spine.

“Are you going to give me a massage?” she asked.

“Later, if you want.”

She turned her face, resting her cheek on the pillow. “I’d like to give you one.”

Alice in Chains came on the radio as the DJ introduced “Nutshell.” I gathered Lake’s hair in my hands and moved it aside. “How come?”

“I used to look at you on the construction site and think you worked so hard,” she said. “I wished I could go to your house and make you feel better after.”

“Yeah?” I slid my hands down her sides to grip her waist. I could feel her ribs, and she had a smooth, slight ass. She wasn’t eating enough. “Tell me more about that.”

“When you get back, if you decide to do construction, I’ll give you massages after. I’ll light candles in here and you can tell me where you’re sore. I’ll work on your back until you’re healed. I used to think it was so unfair that you worked your body so hard.”

I lowered my hands, prying her cheeks apart a little. She shivered. Immediately, I thought about taking her this way, pressing into her from behind. This was why I couldn’t be with her that night in the truck. I couldn’t be trusted. I might’ve ruined her that night, and if I hadn’t, I would’ve soon after. One time with her wouldn’t have been enough. I’d only been in New York a few days, and my mind was already running with all the sordid ways I could have her.

“Do you miss it?” she asked.

“Miss what?”

“Construction.”

“You just finished telling me how unfair you thought it was.”

“But it was a better fit than sales.”

“I told you, I’ll take the first job I find. If it’s in sales, then I’ll do that. I’ll look at construction, too.”

“Don’t do that,” she said softly. “I want you to do something that makes you happy.”

“I know you do, but that’s a luxury I won’t have, at least not when I first get here. Maybe down the line I can concentrate on finding something more fulfilling.”

She turned her head to lie on the opposite cheek. “I’ll find a new job that pays better.”

“I don’t want you to worry about that,” I said.

“I’m not. Waitressing jobs are a dime a dozen here.”

I couldn’t talk her out of it, so I went at it from another angle. “Then you’ll have no trouble avoiding the graveyard shift.”

“I’ll avoid the twenty-four-hour job listings,” she said, shifting under me, “if you promise not to worry.”

“Sure,” I said, as if it were a remote possibility, and squeezed the tops of her thighs. Her skin was unnaturally soft all the way down. I ran my knuckle over the backside of her knee. “You have the finest blonde hairs here.”

“Sometimes I forget to shave that part.”

“At the tops of your thighs, too,” I continued. “I saw them when you wore those short shorts at camp.”

“I can shave higher.”

I shook my head to myself. It wasn’t what I meant. “When I was in solitary, I used to think about that, how I’d seen a part of your leg you hadn’t meant anyone to, and how it was so close to heaven, and I would get lost . . .”

“Lost how?” she asked, her back expanding with an inhale.

“Turn over again.”

She didn’t. “Are we going to have sex?”

“Eventually. I want to look at you first.”

“Manning?”

“Yeah, Birdy . . .”

“Why do you want to look at me so much? It makes me self-conscious. I don’t want to turn over and lie here while you look at me.”

She had no idea how touching her, seeing her, was a delicacy I never thought I’d ever be allowed to taste, much less gorge on. I was leaving tomorrow. I needed this to sustain me while I was gone. “Don’t be self-conscious. I just like the way you look. Turn over.”

With a sigh, she moved onto her back but kept her hands over her breasts. She was uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to push her. I was eager to get to the point where she could relax around me, though. “My cell in solitary was about half the size of this room,” I said to put her at ease. “Imagine having to stay locked in here for a few months . . . or, in some cases, years.”

“Did the guards talk to you?”

“No. They just pushed food through a hole most days. Then, they’d take me to the rec area, which was a slightly bigger room without windows where I could shoot hoops alone for an hour. And they’d watch me shower.”

She widened her eyes. “Really?”

I nodded slowly, bringing her ankle to my mouth. “So I wouldn’t try to pull anything.”

“I thought about you so much while you were gone. Did you think about me?”

“Every day.” I inhaled a breath by her calf, watching her face as I ran my stubble along her skin.

She shuddered. “How did you think about me?”

I could tell what she was looking for. It was my own fault. I’d kept her in the dark about these things, because of her age and innocence. She probably felt insecure about that, wondered if I’d thought of her at all. But of course I had, in all manners of ways. With her leg in my hand, shame tightened my chest. It should’ve turned me off to remember fantasizing about her while she was underage—I’d been unable to stop, even after I’d learned my dad was a pedophile. Instead, my erection raged on. Back then, I hadn’t been able to have Lake in any other way but in my mind. Now she was lying in front of me, still young and sweet and wide-eyed at heart, but with the body and mind of a woman.

I found a condom in the nightstand, put it on, and got horizontal on the mattress, lying between her legs so my lower half hung off the bed. I parted the blonde curls over her mound and kissed her once.

Her hands went into my hair, grasping me as I licked her like a peach-flavored ice cream cone that held the sweetest nectar at its core. When she got so worked up that she was trying to push my head out of her legs, I crawled over her and entered her quickly. She covered her mouth to muffle her moans, but I removed her hand and kissed her, swallowing them for her. Having to be quiet irritated me. I cradled the top of her head so she wouldn’t hit the wall and spent my frustration by fucking her fast and hard. When she was close, I put my other hand over her mouth so she could scream into it, but we weren’t fooling anyone. I looked into her eyes and she didn’t turn away, maybe because my hands held her head in place. As she accepted the length of me with each contraction, I came before I was ready.

I scanned her face. Her cheeks were flushed where my fingers pressed into them. I removed my hand, and her labored breaths came hot against my chin. “Damn,” I panted. “I wanted to look at you more before we did that. Couldn’t help myself.”

She spread a hand on my back. “You can try again later.”

As my heart rate slowed from hammering to pounding, I released the tension from my muscles, giving her my weight. She was sweating, sweet-smelling but briny. Me? I was far from sated. I’d had her body, now I wanted more. I wanted her to know, every day of her life, that she could tell me all her thoughts and desires and secrets, and I’d never tire of hearing them. And for that kind of intimacy, I had to reciprocate.

“It turns me on thinking about that time I couldn’t have you,” I admitted.

She nodded lightly. “It’s the same for me.”

“No it’s not. You were underage. Innocent. It was wrong.”

She sighed, fluttering her fingers over the back of my head. “But you didn’t do anything, Manning, so it’s okay.”

“I wanted to. Very badly.” I lifted my head to see her reaction. “When I was in solitary, I’d jerk myself off thinking about fucking you—and you were seventeen, Lake.”

She bit her bottom lip. When she moved, I became more aware of my cock softening between her legs. “I’d be upset if you hadn’t thought of me that way. You have to forgive yourself.”

Should I be forgiven for all the things I planned to do to Lake in order to ensure she was always mine? I wanted to make her feel so good, she could never leave me. “It’s more than that,” I said. “There’s something you should know.”

Uncertainty crossed her face. “About?”

“My dad.”

The tension in her arms eased, but the wrinkles in her forehead didn’t. “What is it?”

I ran a thumb between her eyebrows, smoothing her skin. “He was . . . he is . . .” I worried once it was out there, Lake would see everything differently. I wouldn’t blame her. I was inside her right now. She might shove me off, disgusted with me. I was at my most vulnerable, and that was the reason I both wanted and didn’t want to tell her. “He molested Maddy before she died.”

Lake’s eyes instantly filled with tears. “But she was nine.”

I gripped both sides of Lake’s face as it screwed up, lowering mine right above hers. “Can you understand why I feel this way? Why being with you made me feel like I was no better than him? I can compartmentalize it better now, but back then, I couldn’t. I would think of you and feel like a monster.”

She covered her face and began to cry. “No.”

“Lake.”

She shook her head. “Stop.”

My heart pounded. This was exactly what I’d been afraid of. I thought of all the despair and rage I’d felt since learning this about my dad, and now I was passing that onto the one person I wanted to protect. “Do you want me to leave?” I asked.

“Leave?” she asked. “You’re so . . . why? Why do you do this?”

“Do what?”

“I’m so angry with you.”

I pulled her hands away, confused. “Angry?”

“How can you think you’re anything like that, Manning? How could you spend all those years living with this? I know you’re not a monster. You know you aren’t. Please, Manning, stop doing this to us.”

“Doing what?”

“Don’t put yourself, or us, in that box. It’s not you. You loved me, didn’t you? You understood me. You wanted to care for me.”

“Yes.”

“And you never, not once, touched me.” Redness rimmed her eyes. “There’s no way you can equate what we had with his actions. How could you? It makes me want to physically hurt you to get you to open your eyes, and your dad, he . . . he—” She couldn’t finish her sentence.

“I know. I know. Don’t cry.” I kissed the tip of her nose, still holding her wrists even though she struggled to cover her face again. “Stop.”

“How long have you known this?”

“I got the letter while I was in prison.”

“When?”

I looked her full in the face, trying to think of how to explain. She came to the conclusion on her own, though.

“I knew there had to be a reason you went to solitary,” she said. “Something that sent you over the edge. I knew it.”

I kissed her again. I was crushing her, so I let her arms go to lift myself off her, but she immediately hugged me closer. So much for her threats of physical harm. “I went to SHU a few nights after I read the letter,” I said. “One of the guards had seen you trying to get in to visit me—”

“He saw me?” she asked.

“Yes. He was a piece of shit, always trying to get under my skin. He’d talked shit about Tiffany before, but when he started in on you, and how young you were, and the things he wanted to do to you—”

“Oh, no. Oh, Manning.” She dug her fingernails into my back. “Is that why . . .?”

I nodded slowly, my eyes moving between her lips, ears, forehead, eyes. All of her. “I couldn’t take it. Not after the letter I’d read from my dad. Suddenly, that guard was a molester who could get to you while I was stuck in there. That guard became my dad. He became me.”

Lake’s hands shook as she touched my face. Her tears made straight lines down her temples. “I’m sorry. I should’ve listened. I never should’ve gone there.”

“I’m grateful that you did. At the time, I would’ve spent more time in SHU if it meant keeping you away from there, but now that so much time has passed . . . I can admit I would’ve done the same if I were you. And it gives me some peace knowing you never forgot about me.”

“I tried. Did you ever read any of my letters?”

“No.”

“Where are they?”

“At the house.”

“Do you think Tiffany knows about them?”

“They’re hidden in the attic, but with her, anything’s possible.” I thumbed away some of the wetness on Lake’s face. She was the first person I’d ever told, and with that information out of my brain, I realized Lake was right. What she and I had wasn’t bad or immoral or wrong. She was a part of it, and her goodness always prevailed, and I was not that monster. “You know what?”

She barely even whispered. “What?”

“Instead of continuing to blame myself for something I never had control over, I’m going to make it right, Lake. I’m going to be everything my father wasn’t. You and I will have a family one day, and—”

She cried more, and I had to nuzzle her to make sure she heard every word. “And I’ll spend a lifetime making up for his mistakes. I will be the best father to our children.”

“You can’t say that,” she said, sobbing into my neck. “It’s too early. We’re not even official.”

“We are official,” I said, smiling about how juvenile it sounded, and also at the idea of raising a family with her. “If anything, it’s late, not early.”

I thought I felt her smile against my neck, too. For all I’d dreaded telling Lake the truth about my family, a weight lifted. We’d turned a hard conversation about something ugly into a glimpse of a happy future. Being with Lake had taught me there was such a thing as second chances. I wasn’t my past or my father’s mistakes. I was just a man becoming the best version of himself for the girl he loved—for his Birdy.

---

I held Lake until she eventually calmed and I could no longer ignore the voices coming from the next room. “What’s going on in there?” I asked.

“Val invited some people over,” Lake said. “Every time she and Julian break up, she has a party claiming to celebrate. Really, she wants an excuse to get drunk or high.”

With a heavy sigh, I dropped my forehead on Lake’s chest. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

“We won’t be able to hide in here. They’re my friends, too. They’ll find us.”

“Lake.” I implored her. “I want time alone with you. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

There was a crash in the next room followed by laughter. Lake shrugged it off. “One of the kitchen chairs has a loose leg. People fall in it all the time.”

With a knock on the door came Val’s high-pitched voice. “Roger’s early,” she said. “Come say hi or we’re breaking in.”

“Roger?” I asked, covering us with the top sheet. “Does your door lock?”

“No.” She craned her neck out from under me to call, “Don’t come in here. Give us five minutes.”

“You have four!” a man yelled from the other side of the door.

Lake tried to get out from under me.

“I’m not done with you,” I said. She laughed, but I hadn’t meant it to be funny. I was dead serious.

“They’ll come in here, Manning. Believe me.”

I let her push me off. “Who’s Roger?”

She picked a shirt off the ground. “A friend from class.”

“What kind of friend?”

“A gay one.”

“Ah.” Relieved, I watched her dress. “You forgot your bra.”

“It’s fine.”

I sat up, grabbing my own clothes and searching the bed for her undergarments. When I didn’t find them, I lifted the frame a little. There was no bra, but I did pull out something familiar, something I hadn’t seen in probably six years. “Who do we have here?” I asked.

When she turned and saw the stuffed bird in my hand, she lunged at me. “Oh my God.”

I held it over my head, out of her grasp. “It’s Birdy,” I exclaimed.

“I tried to hide her,” Lake said, her cheeks pink.

Unable to contain my grin, I looked up at the blue and white toy I’d won for Lake at the Balboa Fun Zone since I couldn’t take her on the Ferris wheel. “Why would you hide her?”

“It’s embarrassing.” She bit her bottom lip, obviously anxious about the bird. “Did you know Birdy was a blue-footed booby, not a pelican?”

“’Course I did,” I said, setting it on her head to resume looking for her bra. “I don’t want to go out there and make nice, Lake. I want to be alone with you, talk to you, make love to you, and then sleep with you. Birdy can stay, but they’ve got to go.”

“We should at least say hi. Then we can, I don’t know, go for a walk.”

“Are you going to tell them who I am?”

She pretended not to hear me, busying herself by fixing her hair in the mirror above her dresser.

“Lake.”

She turned to me, still hugging the stuffed animal under one arm. “What am I supposed to say?” The hurt was evident in her voice. “Should I lie like you did to that woman at the ice skating rink? Is that what you’re asking me to do?”

“No.”

“These are my friends,” she said. “I can’t hide you from them forever.”

“I’m not asking you to. Tell them the truth.”

“But some of them know Corbin, and also . . . he’s been calling.”

“Calling where?” I sat on the edge of her bed. “For what?”

“Nothing. Everything. He’s my friend, Manning. We talk all the time. He left messages on the machine, and I’ve been ignoring him.”

I took a deep breath, dropping my eyes to the floor. Val could be annoying, but because she didn’t take shit, she was good for Lake. What about Corbin? I hated the idea that once I left, he’d still be here, but I had to face the facts—in four years, she hadn’t given in to him. For six years, he’d been trying, and evidence would show he’d been respectful about it. And with that realization, I kinda felt bad for the fucker. “Have you considered that ending the friendship would be doing him a favor?”

“Him?” she asked. “Or you?”

“Him. I know what it’s like to love you from afar. It isn’t easy.”

Looking lost in thought, she caressed Birdy’s head, then put the toy on her dresser next to something else I recognized—the wooden box I’d made her for the earrings she’d worn as Maid of Honor.

“Do you regret it?” Lake asked.

I tore my eyes from the jewelry holder. “Regret what?”

“Loving me.”

“Obviously not, Lake.”

“Then maybe he doesn’t, either.”

“He does, he will, because he won’t win you. He’ll never have you, and that’s why it isn’t fair to him.” I waited until her eyes returned to mine, and the sadness in them made my gut smart. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I know he’s your friend, and if you want things to stay that way, I can’t stop you. But a part of me can’t help but feel bad for him.”

She shook her head. “It’s not like that. Corbin knows nothing will ever happen between us, and it’s still not enough for him to end our friendship. Trust me.”

I didn’t believe that for a second, but I said, “Okay. And for the record, I didn’t lie to that woman to keep our secret. She doesn’t know us. I don’t want anyone to. You and me, we’re you and me. Nobody’s earned the right to know our story.”

“Our story.” She let out a breath then came over and straddled my lap. “I thought you were ashamed of us, and that was why you lied.”

“It’s going to take me some time to get used to touching you without looking over my shoulder,” I admitted. “But rest assured, the decisions I make are with you at the front of my mind.” I picked her up, carrying her over to her closet. “Where’s your overnight bag?” I asked. “We’re leaving.”

“Where are we going?” With her legs wrapped around me, she shifted on my crotch to reach behind me. “It’s on the top shelf.”

I took it down, and a moment later, she feathered her fingers over the back of my bare shoulder. “Summer Triangle,” she whispered.

I stood still, letting her trace the three stars, even though the tattoo had brought as much angst outside prison as it had comfort inside. Tiffany didn’t understand it, so she didn’t like it. “It’s for you,” I told Lake. “I carry you on my back wherever I go.”

“You said the same thing about Madison when we were in the truck.”

“She’s the third point. My girls.”

Lake shuddered in my arms, hugging my neck. “I’m sorry, Manning. I didn’t know your sister, but I’m so sorry for her.”

“I know.” I could’ve stood still with her all night, but the noises from the next room were getting louder, as if more people were showing up. “I need you to get down or else your friends are gonna walk in here and catch us in the act.”

“Oh, okay.” I set her down by her waist. “Where are we going?” she repeated.

I didn’t answer, just started dressing. She’d figure it out soon enough.

Roger was apparently someone Lake had met in class, and they ran lines together all the time. He made a big thing about me coming out of Lake’s room, both of us looking and probably smelling like we’d just fucked. I lasted with Lake’s friends about four seconds until excusing myself to the fire escape for a cigarette. I wanted to meet them, but not while I was this agitated over the little bit of time we had left.

Val followed me outside, climbing out the window. “Can I bum one?”

Years earlier, I’d told her no, but I didn’t want to be the adult here anymore. We were all equals now. I gave her one.

She lit it quickly, took two furious drags, and finally let it rip. “You have some nerve. You’re a fucking asshole. I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

Val had obviously been holding in her feelings about me. Over her shoulder, Lake was watching us. I wasn’t sure if she could see me, but I leaned over and closed the window most of the way so she wouldn’t hear. “This might surprise you,” I told Val, “but I appreciate what you’re doing. I’m glad Lake has had someone here looking out for her.”

“She’s had two someones. Me and Corbin. We picked her up off the ground after you trampled her, and it’s been four years of getting her to be human again. Now you come in here and fuck it all up with that smug expression on your face. You got her fired from her job?”

“Not on purpose. She—”

“Fuck you.”

I scrubbed my jaw, hoping I didn’t look smug at that moment. “I’m not leaving this time.”

“Lake probably believes you, too. Well, guess who’s going to be cleaning up your mess when you don’t come back?”

I smoked down my cigarette, watching her. I was not used to taking this kind of shit. Not at all. If this wasn’t Lake’s best friend, if it wasn’t Val’s way of protecting Lake, I’d have walked away already. Instead I said, “I’m coming back, and you and I will have to be in each other’s lives.”

“I can’t even believe I’m having this conversation with you. Poor Tiffany. I don’t even like her, but poor fucking Tiffany. You screwed Lake over, now you’re going to do the same to her sister.”

“Who’s better for Lake than me?” I asked, my voice louder than I meant it. “Who’s going to take better care of her? Love her more than I do?” I flicked ash over the railing, my face hot. “You don’t know the half of it. Lake’s all that means anything to me. I can tell you without a doubt in my mind that nobody will love, protect, or care for her like I can. I’m the man for her. The only man.”

The night went quiet as we stared at each other. I’d never said anything like that in my life, and it hit me for the first time that it was true. Always in the back of my mind was the fact that I didn’t deserve Lake. But nobody was worthy of her virginity, of her love, so why the fuck not me? I would appreciate it more than anyone else.

“When are you leaving?” she asked.

“I have to go, but I’ll be back.”

“When?”

Now, she was the one who wore the smug expression. She had me, or she thought she did, but she didn’t know that nothing could keep me away very long. “I fly back tomorrow.”

“When will you be back in New York?”

“I’m not sure yet. I—”

“Yeah, thought so. My money’s on never.” Val stubbed out her half-smoked cigarette, gave me the finger, and stumbled back into the living room.

Lake came over quickly, peering out at me, lit from behind like an angel. “What was that?” she asked.

“Nothing, Birdy.”

“What happened? Val looks upset.”

I squatted down to Lake’s level and took her chin between my thumb and knuckle. “All you need to know is that I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “Except to my hotel. Get your bag. We’re leaving.”