“I feel stupid, oh so stupid, it’s amaaazing how stupid I FEEEEL,” I sang softly to myself. No one on the subway even looked at me strangely. People singing on the subway wasn’t considered weird in New York City. I half expected someone to throw me a dollar.

I pressed my forehead into the cool glass of the window and watched the dark brick walls of the subway pass by. I felt so stupid.

Why in the world did I sleep with him?

I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I could understand that he was the most attractive man I knew. I could see how that might make me do something I now regretted. I wanted to pretend that I’d had some whiskey and some champagne, so I probably wasn’t in full control of my faculties. I knew that was a lie.

I’d known exactly what I’d been doing when I slept with him.

I’d wanted it.

And now I was paying for my stupidity.

I checked my phone again, but there wasn’t a single message from him. He’d slept with me, walked out on me, and then didn’t even have the decency to call me the next day.

He just didn’t want to talk to me. He’d gotten what he wanted. A shag.

I was an idiot, and he was a total ass.

I sighed and hummed my stupid song to myself again. I’d been singing it all day at work. I only had one patient, which meant that I had way too much time to sit and think. I kept hoping that a difficult patient would arrive, just so I could concentrate on something else, but everyone stayed miraculously heart-attack free.

Great for patients, bad for me.

My phone stayed silent in my hand, just like it had all day.

It wasn’t like it would be hard to get my number. He was a billionaire, and his best friend lived in the same building and was dating my roommate. Hell, he could have just sent Charles down to say something.

I sighed and knew that was stupid too. What in the world would he have Charles say?

“Hey, thanks for shagging my friend.” Or perhaps, “He wants to marry you and have your babies, but he had something really important come up last night. Sorry. All the apologies.”

Any way that I looked at what happened last night, I was an idiot. I knew he was terrible, although sexy as hell. I should never have gone upstairs with him. I should have stayed away.

I got off at my station and stomped my way home. It was dark now, but in New York City, it was never really dark. The lights were everywhere in the city.

I grumbled the whole way up the elevator to my apartment. I wanted to talk to Jane. I wanted her to tell me that I had simply given into my passions and that I wasn’t a complete moron. I wanted her to tell me that he was a terrible human being and that she would have Charles beat him up for me.

I needed her calm and sweet approach to this.

I threw open the door, ready to tell her what had happened the night before. I hadn’t seen her since I had to go to work early and had beaten her home last night.

I found her sitting on the couch, staring at the “Are you still watching?” screen on the TV. A half a container of ice cream sat melting on the couch next to her. Jane’s face was covered in tear stains.

“Jane, what’s wrong?” I asked, forgetting my problems, dropping my purse, and running to her side.

Whatever kind of trance she was in broke as soon as she saw me and she burst into tears. Giant sobs racked her body.

“He’s gone,” she cried. I had a hard time understanding her.

“What?” I moved the ice cream off the couch and opened my arms to hold her.

“He’s gone,” she told me, putting her head on my shoulder and letting me hold her as she cried. “Charles is gone.”

“What do you mean Charles is gone?” I asked, rubbing her back. “Why would he leave?”

Jane shrugged. “He says he has to build a hotel in New Jersey and that we shouldn’t be a couple while he’s gone.” She took in a deep, shaky breath, trying to compose herself but failing.

“I don’t understand,” I said. “He was supposed to be in New York all winter for the opening of his new buildings. Did that change?”

“No, he’s still here. He lied. I don’t know why, but he lied to me. He just doesn’t want me.”

“Jane, I’m sure that’s not true,” I replied. I thought of the goofy happy look on his face whenever he saw her. “He loves you. He must have something to do in New Jersey.”

“No, he doesn’t.” Jane sniffled and handed me the newspaper. “He just wanted an excuse to break up with me. He said we’re not a couple anymore.”

I looked at the article she was pointing to as a fresh wave of tears overtook her. It was definitely Charles, and he was definitely in New York City. The worst part was that there was a beautiful blonde woman hanging off his arm and looking up at him like he was the light of her life.

The caption under the picture said “New love interest? You decide!”

My heart broke for Jane. My own problems seemed so much smaller right now.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, hugging her close to me. Poor Jane simply cried, her heart completely broken.

I looked over at the article. I could hardly believe it. The article continued that Charles Bingley had recently taken up a new residence in Manhattan. I shook my head. Manhattan was not New Jersey.

I had thought the two of them were happy. I had thought they were the relationship that would make it. I was wrong.

Yet another thing I was wrong about.

“You know what?” I said, an idea coming into my head. “Tomorrow is my day off. I’m taking you out for some shopping. We’re having a girl’s day out.”

“A girl’s day out?” Jane wiped at her cheek. Her beautiful face was splotchy and so sad.

“Yup.” I nodded, liking my plan more and more. “Just the two of us. We’ll talk smack about men and get our nails done. We’ll eat carb filled, fatty, clog-our-arteries-bad-for-us food and try on beautiful dresses just for fun.”

“I don’t know, Lizzie.” She sniffled. “It hurts so much. I loved him.”

I hugged her tighter. “I know. And I don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s an idiot for letting you go.”

She sniffled and cried into my shoulder.

“You know what, I’m going to go beat him up,” I announced. “Do you have a baseball bat I can borrow?”

“No, Lizzie, don’t do that.”

“No? I guess it would damage your baseball bat, and that’s not worth it,” I agreed. Jane chuckled a little, and it made my heart ache for her that much more. “Please let me try and cheer you up a little?”

“We can go out tomorrow,” she agreed. “I spent all day home today. I should find a way to get over him.”

“Good,” I told her, trying to keep my voice light. “Now, let’s put you to bed. Some sleep will do you good.”

Jane didn’t protest. She didn’t object when I gave her some sleeping medicine and sent her to bed. She went quietly into her room and turned out the light without a fight. Which only made my heart ache for her even more.

Love didn’t exist, I decided. It was all fake. It was all just a lie to get us into bed and break our hearts.

I took Jane’s spot on the couch and finished her ice cream because I needed the comfort.