Chapter Six: Tina
When I stretched my arms that next morning, I realized I was in my own bed. The last thing I remembered from the night before was falling asleep on Kevin’s shoulder while we listened to the waves roll in, and I honestly had no idea how I’d ended up back in my room. I sat up in my bed and looked around, and when the sunlight slowly began to stream through my windows I realized it was probably going to be a stormy day today.
I love stormy days.
I swung my legs over the bed and the conversation from last night dawned upon my conscious mind. I meant everything I said, but god I was so whiny and needy. The fuck was wrong with me? I was a strong, independent woman. What the hell was I doing begging for some man’s attention?
But, it honestly wasn’t just any man. It was Kevin, and he’d always been different.
Men like to fuck you and leave you until they need you again. They take you places but expect you to pay, they never pull your chair out and they don’t open doors. They want you to ‘come crash’, which is always code for suck their dick while they watch a movie, and then they get pissy when you don’t cook them lunch or whatever the fuck meal you’re spending at their house.
But Kevin wasn’t like that. He wasn’t like that in college, and he sure as hell wasn’t like that now.
I looked over at the clock and realized it was well past lunch time, and my stomach began to growl with an intensity I’d only remembered back from college. Stomach pangs like this only crept up on me whenever I had gone hours without stopping my studies to eat.
But, I suppose that’s what I get for wanting my wrap my lips around Kevin instead of forkfuls of food.
I stretched one last time before I grabbed my robe and pulled it around me, and when I picked up my glasses to put them on I swung my door open. Thank god I decided to look down when I did, however, because otherwise I would’ve stepped foot-first into a plate full of food. It was filled with a sandwich, fruit, and a small salad with thousand island dressing, and there was a small note attached to it. I bent down to pick it up and my mouth began to salivate at the smells, but when I saw the note my heart began to thud in my chest.
“I’d like to talk today, if that’s alright. It’s not bad, I just think we need to after last night. -Kev”
Ugh, I really didn’t wanna talk about last night. I picked up the fruit juice that was sitting next to my door in a container and I kicked the door shut behind me. Lunch in bed sounded fantastic, and I threw open the curtains of my window before I began picking at the food on my plate. The television rumbled with something asinine in the background, and I rolled my eyes with Anthony Weiner’s face popped up on the screen. He was babbling syllabic nonsense and giving them some bullshit answer about how that crotch picture he tweeted wasn’t actually his crotch, and the only thing I could think to myself was that this is what happened when people didn’t listen to me.
I mean, the man was paying me $4,000.00 a week to work on his image, and he wasn’t even fucking taking my calls or reading my damn emails!
Oh, well. His loss is my gain, and he’ll look like a total fool and it’ll only serve to bolster my reputation and market myself as to why politicians needed me to clean up their images.
I really didn’t want to talk to Kevin about what was happening between us. I was totally okay with just letting it take its course, but I knew he would want answers. He always did. He wanted to know the who, what, when, where, and why of everything that had to do with anything in his life, and it was exhausting. My parents were like that; I always needed a justification and reason for everything. Everything required an endpath that made sense and forwarded my life in some way, otherwise it was deemed pointless.
I knew Kevin meant better than what my parents put me through, and I knew all he wanted to hear was me proclaim my undying love for him and tell him that I’d never leave his side, but it didn’t work like that. Not with me.
Never with me.
Yes, I had reasons and yes, I guarded myself with logic, but when it came to things on this island I made it a point to throw caution to the wind. It was the only time in my life I ever did, and I knew that talking to him would force me to think further into the future… past this vacation and to where we eventually entered the real world again.
And I didn’t wanna do that. We had four more days on the island and I wasn’t ready to think past them just yet.
But, I knew he would continue to hound me if I didn’t talk to him, so when I finally finished my lunch I hopped in the shower and decided to go find him.
I searched the house and even peeked into his room, and he seemed nowhere to be found. I spotted a note on the fridge telling me that everyone had made their way onto the boat and to the mainland to do some exploring, and for a split second I thought I might have been alone on the island. I took the note off the fridge and laid it down, but when I realized it was only signed by Brit, Spencer, and Brady, I realized that Kevin was still somewhere on the island. Brit had time-stamped it at 11:04 for this morning, so they’d only just gotten to the mainland a few minutes ago.
Kevin and I were on the island alone, and we probably would be until the late hours of the night tonight.
“So much for dinner,” I murmured. I putzed around in the kitchen and tried to figure out what I could do in terms of dinner, and I found myself planning it out for both Kevin and I. I kept taking into account what I knew he liked to eat and drink, and just before I could shake myself from the obvious stroke I was having while looking in the pantry, a familiar voice pierced the silence of the house.
“Want some wine?”
I whirled around on my feet and saw Kevin standing there with two glasses of white wine, and when I took one our fingers grazed. Electricity shot up my arm and I physically jerked the wine glass back from him, and his eyes hooked onto me closely while I gulped the first glass down.
“Slept that good, huh?” he asked.
“You said you wanted to talk?” I asked coolly.
“Yes, as a matter of fact. Wanna go sit somewhere?”
“I’m fine standing, thanks.”
“I’m not gonna shove your robe up and face plant into your pussy, Tee.”
“Not worried about that,” I breathed.
He grabbed the bottle of wine off the counter and walked over to pour me another, and it was everything I had not to turn into him and plant a kiss right smack onto those taut, pouty lips.
“So, what did you want to discuss?” I asked.
“This isn’t a business meeting. It’s just me, Tee.”
“Tina,” I corrected.
“Fine. Tina. We’ll play it your way.”
“I have no way,” I bit.
“The logical, arms-length way. And that’s fine, I really just have one question.”
“Then get it over with,” I murmured before I brought the glass of wine to my lips again.
“What happened to you before this vacation?”
I choked on the wine that was in my mouth and before I could right myself, I spat it back into the wine glass. I felt my legs grow weak and I had to sit the glass down, and Kevin must’ve seen the instant change in my eyes because his arm was around my waist before I could protest.
“I knew you weren’t just ‘letting go’ like Brit said. Come on. Lemme help ya.”
He set his glass of wine down beside mine and together we moved towards the kitchen table. He helped me to sit while my body started to tremble, and when he sat down across from me he lovingly put his hands on my knees. I had to admit, the warmth of his skin was very calming, but it also made me very aware of how easy it would be to throw myself onto this table and have him in every position before we ate dinner off that same table this evening.
Just the two of us.
“Talk to me, Tee. What’s happened?” he urged lowly.
“My father’s gotten sick, Kev,” I breathed.
“How sick is he?”
“Very,” I choked out. I cursed the tears that rose in my eyes and I felt Kevin’s hands squeeze my knees reassuringly. The electricity pulsing through my pelvis were raging at an unclocked speed, and I started grinding my hips lightly into the chair in order to provide myself some sort of release from his mesmerizing touch.
“What’s wrong with him?” he asked.
I knew I shouldn’t be telling him this because if it ever got leaked to the press my father’s legacy would be ruined. He had always been known in the legal world as a strong shark. Someone to be remembered as fierce, loyal, and good.
If they knew his body and mental faculties were giving out on him, he’d pass away in his home with the press trying to barrel through his front door.
“He uh… he had a stroke a few years back that triggered his M.S.,” I began.
“Jesus,” Kevin breathed.
“And a… um… a couple years ago dementia slowly began to set in,” I choked out.
“Holy fu-... have you and your mother been alright?” he asked.
“Yeah yeah yeah, we’ve uh… we’ve been good. Been spending a lot of time at home. Lots of flights to and from Washington. Dad’s in a-... a hospice bed at home.”
“A hospice bed. Why didn’t you call someone? Any one of us?”
“When the hell have I ever been good at reaching out to someone, Kev?”
“There’s always a time to start,” he urged.
Silence fell between us and I dropped my gaze to my lap, and before Kevin could even prompt me on where to go next with my sob story, my lips ran away from me.
“He’s been in a hospice bed for a couple of months now. I’ve fielded his medical bills alright since the beginning stages ate away at my father’s portion of retired living expenses, and I wanted to make sure my mom could still live after… after…”
I felt my face crinkle and tears began to roll down my face, and Kevin’s arms wrapped tightly around me. I laid myself into his strong chest, and for the first time in my life I sobbed the presence of someone else. My chest begin to hiccup and my body was shaking violently, and by the time I could finally piece myself together snot was draining from my nose and tears were drying on my cheeks.
“Is that why you’re being so… unlike yourself on this trip?” Kevin asked lightly.
“The hell does that mean?” I sniffled.
“Well, the Tina I know would’ve never admitted to being the woman I had sex with at the party, nor would she have ever sought me out for another encounter. Hell, you openly admitted to not really knowing what you were doing or why you were doing it.”
“I guess it’s what my father said to me before I left,” I sighed.
“What did he tell you?”
“Well, I wanted to back out of the trip because he keeps taking turns for the worst, but he wouldn't let me. He said…”
I reared back and pushed my hair from my face. My eyes flickered to Kevin’s, and his attention was hooked wholly onto me. I’d never seen him so entranced and ready for an answer I had to provide in all my life, and part of me was wanting to give that to him. To talk to him and confide in him.
And I wasn’t sure why.
“He told me to go and to spend time with the people I loved and cherished most. He told me to give everyone his love… and then he told me not to be like him.”
“Not to be like him?”
“Yeah. He said, ‘Tina, don’t be me. Experience your life and stop trying to justify everything. It’ll only hold you back.’”
“A hell of a statement coming from your father,” Kevin murmured.
“Don’t I know it.”
Silence fell between us again, but this time I felt compelled to stand. I stood to my feet and Kevin held his arms out in case I teetered, and the gesture almost made me smile.
“The hell are we gonna do for dinner?” I breathed.
“Eh, we’ll come up with somethin’,” he shrugged.
“Got any plans for the day?” I asked him, hoping to god he’d just roll with the subject change.
“Figured I’d just kick back and watch some movies. Wanna join me? There’s wine involved.”
“Oh, I’m always there if there’s wine involved,” I giggled.
“There she is,” Kevin smiled. He reached out and caught the last lonely tear falling down my cheek, and I felt myself flush underneath his gaze.
“Wine and movies, it is,” he murmured lowly.