Theo and I were virtually inseparable after that first trip to New York, but we decided not to have marital relations until we… well, until we were married. He was a literal minded sort of person, and he lived his life by certain Christian principals, not necessarily because he was a religious person, but because he had good results in life simply from abiding by them.
One of them that impressed me the most about Theo was his generosity. It was remarkable. He saw giving to others as a great honor. He did it without hesitation. It was like he was plugged into some supernatural pipeline. God's fingerprint was all over the financial situation of Theo's life, and it was neat to witness firsthand. For instance, one day we were at a gas station in Jensen and Theo paid for this lady's gas. She said she was planning on getting $10, but he told her to go ahead and fill up. The total came to $60, and later that evening, he found three twenty-dollar-bills wadded up in the gutter when we took Elroy for a walk. Theo lived a generous life, and it seemed that everything he gave came back to him supernaturally. It was inspiring.
It was so inspiring that I tried to get in on it myself. A few times in the months since Theo and I had been together, I had gone out on a limb to be generous in ways that I would have never even thought about. One time, it was a real success, and I felt really good about myself and thankful for the experience, but two times recently, I felt like I had failed. I didn't tell Theo about the first failure, but I was so frustrated by the second one, that I had to bring it up to him.
"I don't know how you do it," I said as we walked down the sidewalk.
We were in New York, and we were walking Darlene for Lane and Zoe. (Elroy was a Florida dog, and stayed home with my parents when Theo and I weren't in town, so we liked to borrow Darlene.)
"I don't know how you always get people to respond so well when you're generous. Twice now, I've picked the wrong people to try to help out. It's so frustrating. I don't know how you do it right."
"What do you mean?" Theo asked. "What happened?"
"I found twenty dollars in the back pocket of these jeans this morning," I said. "And I specifically told God I would set it aside for someone who could use it and to please show me that person. You know, like you do. Anyway, so I had the twenty bucks in my back pocket, and I come up on this guy in the park who was setting up some work out equipment. He was by himself, but he was setting up like he was expecting a class or something. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he meets people to work out. He said he was trying to get his business off the ground, but that he couldn't afford a storefront yet, so until he could, he met people at the park." I sighed. "I guess it was because he mentioned not being able to afford something that I did it, or maybe it was because his equipment looked so old. Anyway, I asked him if I could give him twenty bucks for his business."
"That was good," Theo said, squeezing me around the shoulders as we walked.
"I wish it was, but it wasn't," I said. "It was awkward. He looked at me like he was kind of offended. He took it from me, but he stared at me the whole time like he didn’t want my charity. I was embarrassed." I breathed a sigh. "I don't know how you pick the right people every time."
Theo had Darlene's leash in one hand and his other arm around me as we continued to walk slowly down the block. There weren't a lot of people on the path, so we didn't rush.
"When did you do that?" he asked.
"Today. Like an hour ago. I hate it, too, because it makes me not want to ever try it again."
"That would really be a shame," Theo said. "Do you think it's a big, soaring success every time I'm generous with someone?" he asked.
"Yes," I said. "I mean, at least they're not offended. Him looking at me like that made me wish I had the twenty bucks back, and then I felt like a bad person for wishing that."
"Let me tell you something, Caroline. You're wrong if you think there's always gratification involved when I give somebody something. A couple of times I've given big financial gifts to whole organizations and never gotten so much as a thank you. People aren't always the most gracious at receiving gifts. 'Thank you' is not the easiest phrase to say. It takes a little vulnerability. You can't think what you did was a failure just because of how the guy reacted. You did your part. You felt like him mentioning not being able to afford something was your prompting, and you followed it. That's all that matters. That's all you're accountable for. I definitely don't always have the warmest reception when I give someone something. I've gotten better at choosing who and when and where, but I still have awkward moments. I still have times when people take money from me and I wonder whether or not they're thankful at all. That's not really my part of it, though. I learned to disconnect myself from that part of it years ago."
We took a few steps and then Theo sighed and said, "Speaking of years ago, you'll never believe who I heard from today."
He was speaking in a serious tone, and I turned to glance up at him with a questioning glance.
"Arnett," he said.
I recognized the name as soon as he said it. "You heard from him? The lawyer? What did he say?"
"It was an email. He requested a meeting with me at my earliest convenience. He wants me to come to his house the next time I'm in Montréal."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, looking around in confusion since my story about the twenty bucks hadn't been nearly that important.
He shrugged. "Because I'm probably not going to go."
"You're not going to go? Why not? It might be important. What did he say?"
"He didn't say anything specific; he just said he wanted to meet with me. That's why I'm not going to go."
"Really? I'm so curious. Why don't you write him back and tell him you like to conduct business over the phone. Tell him you just moved out of your place in Canada."
"He knows I did," Theo said. "He might be old, but he knows what's going on in Montréal."
"Maybe that's why he contacted you. Maybe he's old and he wanted to apologize. I think you should at least email him back. I can't believe you're not curious."
***
Theo and I went to Montréal two weeks later. He had to go there on other business, and he decided to meet with Mr. Arnett during the trip.
He met with the man at his house, which was in the outskirts of the city. There was a nice shopping center nearby, so I looked around at a few stores while Theo went to his meeting. I got a text from him after only twenty minutes, saying that he would meet me for lunch whenever I was ready.
We were at an outdoor shopping center, and there were areas with fountains and bronze statues. Theo told me he was waiting by the one with the bear statues, and I knew right where that was, so I met him there. He stood up, carrying a small, leather bag that looked similar to a shaving kit. He was smiling at me, and I marveled at how handsome he was, but I mostly stared straight at the pouch, knowing he didn't have it before his meeting with the lawyer.
"What did he say?" I asked as soon as we were standing close enough for him to hear me. "What is that?"
He smiled and motioned with a flick of his head to the café that was behind him. "Let's get some lunch, and I'll tell you all about it."
We sat down across from each other at a table, and Theo put the bag on the table between us. I glanced at it suspiciously out of the corner of my eye, and he smiled.
"Looks like the kind of bag that would have a ton of cash in it."
He smiled. "Mr. Arnett must have thought so as well because that's what he put in there."
Theo made the statement just as a waitress came up to take our drink order and let us know about the specials, so we put the conversation on hold.
"Do you think there's cash in there?" I asked with wide eyes the instant she walked away.
"I know there is," he said. "I saw it already."
"Why? How much? Did Arnett give you that?"
He grinned at me for being so anxious to hear the story. "He's old. I don't know if he's dying, but he's old. He seemed much bigger in my memories. I'm not sure if he shrank or if it just seems that way to me because I grew up, but there was a significant size difference from what I remember. Anyway, he pulled a huge stack of cash out of a safe within the first two minutes I was there, saying it was the remainder of my parents' estate."
"I bet he's dying and he's trying to get right with God," I said. "…repaying the money he stole from people."
"I don't think so," Theo said. "This was different. He wasn't apologizing for anything. He did lie to me about the money, but he basically pats himself on the back for doing it."
"What?" I asked in utter disbelief.
"I couldn't believe it either," Theo said. "He sat on the other side of his desk and basically credited himself for my life—for the way I turned out."
"What?" I asked again.
Theo chuckled and nodded. "He said he knew that if I had my parents' money at the age of sixteen, I would get comfortable, complacent—that I wasn't ready to have that kind of money yet. He said I was immature and needed to grow up, but he thought I could make a success of myself with a little tough love. Tough love was what he called it. It was like he thought I was going to thank him. Can you believe that?"
"What'd you do?" I asked.
"I stared at him for like a minute straight, thinking about all the questions I wanted to ask him and all the things I wanted to say. I didn't even know where to begin. He had just talked my ear off for ten minutes with his whole deluded story, and honestly I didn't know what to say, so I just took the cash off of his desk and I walked out of his office."
"Did he not try to stop you?"
"No. He had already told me the money was mine and that he had called me there to give it to me, so I just picked it up and walked out. I thought about telling him some of the details of the hardships I had gone through when I first left. I had memories of them as I stared at that smug man, and I wondered how he could sleep at night let alone congratulate himself."
"I think you could call the cops for this," I said. We both glanced at the bag before glancing at each other. He was regarding me with a casual half smile.
"I told him I forgave him when I was on my way out even though he wasn't looking for my forgiveness. I thought about everything I had gone through as a kid in New York on my own, and thought about all the pain that could have been spared if I had that money, but there was really nothing I could do about it. All I could do was forgive him and know there's a purpose for everything.
Theo left that bag full of cash as a tip for the waitress at the café. They weren't busy, so she and Theo got into a conversation while we ate. I was in on it too, but Theo was asking most of the questions. He had a delicate but direct way of making people share their story, and I always enjoyed listening to him converse with other people. I knew by the time we were halfway through the meal that he was going to leave the money with her. He made eye contact with me when she told us she was a single mom and that her little boy had some health issues. I knew right then that he was going to do it. Later, she said she was putting herself through nursing school, and it also came out somewhere in our conversation that she was a Christian. After hearing all of the sweet, heartfelt answers she gave to Theo's questions, there was no doubt in my mind that he was going to help her.
Theo and I had both already stood up to leave when she came back to collect the payment. He handed her the slip of paper along with the leather pouch. "Pay for our food out of this, and then the rest is a tip for you," he said.
She looked at him with a somewhat confused expression, because the bag was heavy and oddly shaped as forms of payment go.
"There's a lot of money in here," Theo said in a hushed but professional tone. "It's cash. It came unexpectedly into my hands, and I'd like to pass it along to you if you don't mind."
She whispered something to him in French, and he smiled.
"No, I didn't rob a bank," he whispered. "It's just money that's been sitting in a safe for twenty years doing nobody any good. I feel like I'm just supposed to hand it to you. I hope it'll help you and your son. We've enjoyed talking to you during our lunch, and we'd really like to give you this."
She blinked and scrunched up her face like she was trying not to cry. "Are you sure?" she asked, not even knowing how much money was in the bag.
"I'm sure," Theo said. He glanced around. "You might want to think about taking it to the back before you open it," he said.
She glanced down at the leather pouch and then at Theo and me again. "Are you sure?" she repeated, looking stunned.
"We're sure," he said.