He has to be playing with me. Right? Isn’t this thing we have supposed to be mutual? The give-and-take kind? So why do I have to be the one who keeps making advances?

I’m hopelessly confused, but unfortunately it’s one of those few questions I can’t ask Google. I suppose I could crowdsource via Reddit---

Nah.

Not only is it too risky, but I think Mr. X would kill me if he ever finds out I’ve resorted to online polling to figure out his motives.

In the end there’s only one thing I can do, and so I meet up with Ginger at a sushi bar after work, and I spill the beans to her over tea and raw fish.

And yes, I know it’s a bad idea. Her kind of advice tends to get me into more trouble, but it’s not like I have a choice. She’s my only friend in town.

After downing her tiny cup of oolong tea, Ginger declares, “Go for it.”

“Go for what?”

“Stalk him like he says,” she explains breezily. “He gave you the green light, didn’t he? So you should totally stalk him, and actually – you should go ahead and ask him to take your V-card, too---”

“Ginger!” Oh my God, why didn’t I listen to my instincts? I knew it was a bad idea to ask for her advice.

“What?” Ginger sounds genuinely nonplussed, which of course drives me crazier. Does she not realize what she’s asking me to do?

“It’s just normal to go and approach a guy,” I protest feelingly, “and say, hey, can you be my first time?”

Ginger brushes my words off with a flutter of her fingers, saying, “You totally can these days. Some women are even auctioning their virginities online, you know. It’s all about making it your choice, and so why wouldn’t you want Mr. X to be your first time? If you’re going to lose your virginity and you have this heaven-sent opportunity to have Mr. X take it from you, go for it! Most women aren’t so lucky. You work at a hospital. I’m sure you’ve heard horror stories of how horribly wrong first-time sex can go.”

My shoulders slump. Unfortunately, she’s right, and I do know how horribly wrong virgin sex can go.

After chewing on a slice of fresh tuna, she points her chopsticks towards me, saying, “Be honest. You’re not really worried about losing your virginity to him, are you?”

I clamp my mouth shut, unwilling to answer.

“Ha,” Ginger crows. “I knew it! What you’re really worried about is how having sex with a guy like Mr. X could make you fall for him.” She pauses meaningfully. “And you don’t want that because you’re scared of being hurt. Right?”

“You seem to have all the answers already,” I grumble, “so why bother asking?”

Ginger cackles like an evil witch who knows she’s got her evil claws into her hopeless victim, which of course is…me.

“You can’t fool me, babe. I’ve known you since forever.”

I don’t answer and focus instead on shoving the last piece of kani maki into my mouth.

“Listen. You’ve been a good girl your entire life. It’s time to live a little, don’t you think? And Mr. X – he’s all the excitement you need, and it’s only going to get better if you let him fuck---”

I clap my hand over her mouth, pleading, “Will you please stop saying things like that?”

She takes off my hand with a laugh. “You’re so uptight.” Taking hold of my shoulders from across the table, she tells me firmly, “Live a little, Ani. Have sex with him. Nothing bad’s going to happen as long as you do everything with your eyes wide open.”

“I just don’t know---”

“Repeat after me, babe. This is all for fun.”

“This is all for fun,” I echo.

“I just want him for his body, not his heart.”

My eyes widen.

“Go on,” Ginger prods.

With a sigh, I say, “I just want him for his body, not his heart.” But even as I say it, I know it’s not true. Everything I’ve written on my Hobo is proof that it’s the actual opposite. He wouldn’t have been my imaginary boyfriend if I had only wanted his body.

Ginger raises her teacup. “Kanpai!”

“Kanpai.” I try not to let my apprehension show as we clink our teacups together in a toast. Can I really take it to the next level?

Over breakfast the next day, I review my meticulously written notes on my Hobo, which include details of Mr. X’s schedule. Gnawing on my lip, I try to figure out when’s the best time to stalk – I mean, approach him. No matter what Mr. X says, I am not a stalker. Or at least I’m not the run-of-the-mill type. I’m just…exceptionally good at researching stuff, and according to my “research” –

Mm.

Right.

I guess I can wait for him there.

Stalking – or rather, the art of arranging supposedly coincidental encounters - is all about timing, and so I make sure to leave earlier than usual for work. When I arrive at the hospital, I have more than an hour before my shift officially starts.

Perfect, I think to myself as I take the elevator to the fourth floor, where the hospital’s exclusive gym for board members and select members of the staff is located.

I’ve only been pacing for about five minutes outside the gym when a male resident steps out and tells me that I’m to meet Dr. Blackmore inside.

Oh, wow. That was fast.

I follow the resident inside, and I’m quietly impressed by how luxurious and state-of-the-art the entire facility appears. It looks more like a fitness spa than a corporate-owned gym.

I spot a couple of treadmills and other exercise machines ahead of us, but the male resident shakes his head when he sees where I’m looking. “Dr. Blackmore is in there.” He gestures to the double doors to our right and pushes them open, saying, “He’s waiting for you.”

I’ve only taken a few steps in when I stop dead in my tracks with a squeak of surprise, realizing too late I’ve entered the men’s locker room.

I hear a familiar chuckle, and my head whips towards the sound.

It’s Mr. X, his dark brown hair still wet, and with only the tiniest towel wrapped around his hard, powerful body.

Another squeak escapes me as my hands automatically fly to cover my eyes.

Why is he so…so…not dressed?

“Thanks, Matt,” I hear Mr. X murmur. “I’ll take it from here.”

“Anytime, Dr. Blackmore.”

I hear the doors swing shut behind me as the male resident leaves.

A moment later, a pair of strong arms sweeps me up in my arms, and I gasp in shock. Peeling my hands from my face, I find Mr. X grinning at me.

“You’re too adorable, sweetheart.”

“I feel like that’s not a compliment,” I mumble. Seeing that we’re still moving, I look around, and my face turns red when I realize he’s taken me to the shower area.

“Umm…”

“No one typically comes here at this time,” Mr. X explains, “but it would be better if we play it safe, don’t you think?”

“Umm…”

“In here, we’re guaranteed not to be disturbed.” He steps inside a shower cubicle and locks the door before letting me slide to my feet.

“Disturbed from what?” I ask blankly.

“From this.” And then he pushes me against the cold, tiled wall and kisses me hard.

Ooooh.

Sucking hard on my lower lip, Mr. X mutters, “I didn’t expect to have you stalk me this early---”

“I’m n-not stalking---” But my voice is weak and breathless, and I can’t even finish my sentence as his lips nibble down its way to my chest.

His fingers swiftly unbutton my blouse, and I look down as he pushes my bra out of the way. “M-M---” I manage to catch myself in time, having almost called him Mr. X to his face.

Mr. X’s head lifts up. “What were you about to say?”

“N-nothing,” I stammer.

“I could’ve sworn you had said something…something that starts with M.”

“You’re wrong!” Panicking at the thought that he could wrangle the thought out of me, I say unthinkingly, “A-aren’t you going to kiss my breasts yet?”

His eyes widen.

My cheeks burn, but even so I lift my chin, asking as firmly as I can, “A-aren’t you?”

“You’ve become a demanding little thing.” His lips curve into a smirk. “I like it.”

Oh!

“And as you wish…”

Mr. X cups my breasts, bends his head, and takes one nipple in.

Aaaaah.

He starts to suck, gently and then harder and harder, and I find myself gripping his shoulders, unable to believe how much pleasure it’s giving me just to have his mouth on my breast.

When he moves to my other breast, sucking on my nipple, I have to cover my mouth as an inevitable moan falls past my lips.

Oh God.

Is it normal to feel this good about it?

Raising his head, he asks thickly, “Do I pass?”

“Y-yes,” I choke out.

Squeezing my breast, he asks in a low, husky voice, “Is it what you came here for?”

Embarrassed and dismayed by his question, I gasp, “Of c-course not!”

“Then what did you come here for?” A wicked grin slashes his mouth. “Perhaps you want me to tongue-fuck---”

“Oh my God, no!” I stare at him with even greater embarrassment and dismay. First, Ginger, and now it’s Mr. X. Am I the only one who can’t say such things out loud?

“So if it’s not that…” Mr. X’s tone is pensive, but I’m not fooled by it, and especially not when he has such a devilish gleam in his blue-gray eyes.

And I’m right to doubt him when his next words are---

“Did you come here to return the favor?”

My mouth opens and closes. Favor? What does he mean? Surely, he couldn’t mean that?

“You’re not saying a thing,” Mr. X murmurs. “Does that mean I’m right?”

“I…ah…”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Mr. X purrs. “You could’ve said so from the start. I would never say no to having my cock in your mouth.”

And the next thing I know, I’m slowly being pushed down to my knees.

Oh.

The towel falls to the tiled floor---

My.

And I find myself staring straight at Mr. X’s long, thick, hard cock.

God.

As I gulp hard, I hear Mr. X ask, “Are you just going to stare at it?” The amusement lacing his voice makes my cheeks turn redder, but my entire body remains frozen. Technically, I do know what to do. It’s not that difficult to figure out. But – what if I still do it wrong? What if I accidentally bite too hard or suck too hard---

Ginger’s warning voice pops up in my mind. Overthinking is a buzzkill.

Right. Right.

But even so, I hear myself ask, “Can you, umm, give me instructions?”

There’s a moment of silence.

And then I hear Mr. X laughing.

It’s a sexy sound, but it’s also very bad for my self-esteem, and I half-wail defensively, “I just want to make sure I’d do it right because it’s my first time!”

Mr. X grins down at me, but his voice is soothing when he says, “I know, sweetheart.” His hands settle on my head. “Very well then. You can start by holding my cock with your dominant hand.”

My throat dries as I gingerly do as he says, and I’m quietly in awe at how my fingers seem to oh-so-naturally curl around the silky, rigid length of his arousal. Does that mean I’ve an innate talent for this – or does it simply make me a natural-born slut?

“Now, start stroking.”

I move my fingers up and down slowly, stroking him carefully---

“Keep your grip tight, sweetheart.”

My fingers tighten, and I hear Mr. X draw his breath in, saying thickly, “Exactly like that.”

The pleasure in his voice makes me feel a little more daring than usual, and not letting myself overthink, I just bend my head and take his cock in---

Mmph.

A hoarse sound of surprise escapes Mr. X as I struggle to stretch my lips open so I can take more of him in. I don’t think I’ve ever had anything so uncompromisingly big in my mouth before, and the thought is both intimidating and shockingly thrilling.

His fingers suddenly grip my hair as he grits out, “Take your time. There’s no need to hurry.”

Heeding his words, I force myself to relax, and it works, allowing my lips to open more widely and a few more inches of his cock slide in.

Oh God.

So this is what it means to have my mouth stuffed full of a man’s cock.

The thought is impossibly lewd, but it’s also unbearably exciting and I’m shocked to find myself becoming wet as I struggle to take more and more of his cock.

I can’t believe I’m being aroused by the fact I’m giving Mr. X a blowjob.

“Want more instructions?” Mr. X asks roughly.

My head bobs, and his cock moves inside my mouth accordingly. It’s strange, funny, and erotic all at the same time.

“Start sucking my cock like you would a lollipop.”

Oh! The words make me imagine all sorts of things, and I can feel my cheeks heating up once more. Even so, I can’t help the rush of eagerness inside of me as I hasten to do as he says.

I start with the head of his head, sucking softly and hesitantly, and when he doesn’t complain about my teeth painfully scraping his skin, I become more confident and start sucking harder.

Mr. X groans. “That’s perfect.”

My grip on his cock tightens with more confidence, and I start stroking him just a little faster and harder all the while trying to match it with the sucking motions of my mouth.

His fingers tighten its hold on my head. “You’re fucking good.” As he speaks, he starts thrusting his cock deeper into my mouth, all the way to the back of my throat.

I’m so shocked I choke a little, but he doesn’t ease up, only continuing to fuck my mouth in a hard steady space---

More moisture floods my pussy, and it’s yet another shock. Is his forcefulness actually turning me on?

I try to concentrate on sucking him, but my own body is distracting me, with the way my pussy throbs every time he shoves his cock deep into my mouth.

Gradually, his movements become wildly irregular, his thrusts interspersed by his rough growls of pleasure. I find myself releasing his cock so I can clutch his bare butt, my fingers digging deep into the toned cheeks as Mr. X pounds his cock into my mouth harder and harder.

“Anisia.”

I shudder at the sound of my name on his lips.

Oh God, I feel like I could blow him forever just to hear him say my name like that again and again.

“I’m about to come, sweetheart.” I feel him start to withdraw from my mouth. “You can ease off---”

But for some reason I find myself doing the opposite of what he says, sucking harder on his cock, and Mr. X inhales sharply.

“I’m going to cum in your mouth if you don’t let go,” he bites out.

The thought of his cum in my mouth only makes my body shudder and my pussy throb harder.

“Anisia---”

I take a risk, sinking my teeth ever so gently into the head of his cock.

Mr. X stiffens. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuck.” And then he’s coming in my mouth.

The first hot gush of his seed takes me completely by surprise, and it takes everything not to choke on it. I struggle to swallow everything in, and as he continues to twitch and ejaculate in my mouth I eventually adjust to the feel of his hot sticky cum flowing down my throat.

It tastes creamy and salty.

It tastes like him.

And I love it.

When it’s all over, he leans against the wall, his semi-erect cock popping out of my mouth. I stay on my knees, feeling strangely feminine and powerful at the same time.

I feel his hand settle on the top of my head, and I look up.

“That was out of this world, Anisia.” His voice is gritty but tender, and happiness unfurls inside of me at the thought of how much I’ve pleasured him.

Pulling me up gently to my feet, he says softly, “Thank you.”

“I was…” I swallow hard then finish shyly, “I was happy to do it.”

Tipping my chin up, he asks, “You enjoyed it then?” I can only blush, but it seems enough of an answer for him since he hauls me close and kisses me hard. I gasp against his lips, unprepared by the kiss and more so the feel of his naked body against my fully clothed form.

“You’re so damn perfect,” he mutters as he pulls his mouth away. Cupping my face, he grates out, “Be damn sure you’re only like this with me.”

I blink at the possessive tone in his voice, not at all expecting it. I’ve stalked – I mean I’ve researched about him for a long time. I’ve seen him with other women and he had always been calm and collected with them.

Does that mean I’m different, I wonder apprehensively, and if I am – is that a good thing?

Mr. X draws me out of the shower cubicle and walks us back to the locker room. The fact that he’s naked doesn’t seem to matter to him, but it’s the opposite for me. Even with what’s happened, I still keep my gaze away from his naked form, feeling awkward and self-conscious.

“Give me a minute to dress?”

I nod and take a seat at the corner of the bench, still not looking his way.

“Are you purposely not looking at me?”

I can practically hear him grinning, but I still don’t look at him.

A few moments later, he’s fully dressed and he kneels in front of me, a cocky smirk on his handsome face. “You’re just too adorable, Anisia.”

“You always say that,” I grumble, “but it never sounds like a compliment.”

“It is,” he assures me.

“I don’t believe you.”

Rising to his feet, he pulls me up as well and presses a kiss on my forehead. “Thank you for this morning. I can’t wait until you blow me again.”

Oh, this man and his wicked words.

“Can you please stop being so explicit?” I plead.

He places a quick hard kiss on my lips, saying, “Never.” He pulls away, and I watch him make a call to Matt, who would then walk me out of the gym. Sliding his phone back into his pocket, he says, “When people ask what you’re doing here, let Matt do the talking.”

“O-okay.”

Glimpsing my uncertain expression, Mr. X says swiftly, “There’s nothing to worry about with Matt. I’ve known him since he was an intern, and he’s proven to be discreet. He’s done this before, and he’s never let me down.”

Mr. X turns away to take his lab coat out of the locker, and I turn away as well as I feel myself turning pale.

He’s proven to be discreet, Mr. X says.

He’s done this before, Mr. X says.

Funny how a blowjob in a shower cubicle has made me feel empowered, and yet a few careless words from Mr. X have reduced me into a slut in my own eyes.

In not so many words, isn’t he saying that what I’ve done for him isn’t anything special – because other women have done the same thing for him, too?

When the doors swing open, I hear Mr. X say approvingly, “Right on time, Matt. I owe you another one for this.”

My fingers dig deeper into my palms as Mr. X makes yet another reference to the past.

“Anytime, Dr. Blackmore.” Matt’s tone is polite.

Dr. X touches the small of my back, and I manage not to flinch. “Are you okay, Anisia?”

I manage a smile as I turn to face him. “Yup.” Looking away, I mumble, “I should go now, before people see me…” My voice trails off as I feel the oncoming threat of tears.

Shit.

Glancing at Matt, I ask brightly, “Shall we go?”

“Sure.”

I feel Mr. X’s gaze on me as Matt and I leave the locker room, but I don’t dare let myself look back.

When we step out of the gym, I mumble to Matt, “I can take it from here.”

Matt nods, but he still follows me to the elevator.

When we step inside, he says quietly, “You don’t seem fit to handle this type of thing.”

I dig my fingers deeper into my palms, thinking he’s absolutely right. I thought I could. Ginger thought I could. But now I know it’s not true.

“You’re not like his usual.”

“I know,” I acknowledge numbly. When we reach the basement, I thank him politely for his escort and step out without looking back.

There’s a reason why I only wanted Mr. X as my imaginary boyfriend, and this time I won’t let myself forget it.

He’s perfect in my imagination but a bastard outside it.