MIA
Lily is sitting out with the other girls when Cameron and I walk back into the room. She looks over me curiously, narrowing her eyes in suspicion but she doesn’t say anything, she merely takes another sip of her wine. There’s a magazine spread over her knees and she flicks through the pages without reading or looking at anything. The woman screams boredom. I wonder about the life she escaped to, and the man she risked Senior’s wrath for. Is he lying in the dirt somewhere, or trudging through life wondering why she disappeared?
Daisy asks if I want to watch a movie and leads me to the large pile of DVDs stacked onto one of the bookcases. She chatters idly as she flicks through the options and I smile and nod, hoping I respond in the way she wants me to while my thoughts are stuck on Ryker. In the end, she chooses a romantic comedy that she inserts into the player and we sit back on the couch.
Iris groans. “This one again?”
Daisy crosses her arms and pouts. “I like it.” Turning to me, a smile spreads back over her face. “Want me to braid your hair? I could French braid it. Oh, or I could do it up in one of those plaited crown things. She’d look good with it like that, don’t you think, Iris.”
“Nope.”
“You don’t think she’d look good?”
“Nope. I don’t give a shit.”
Daisy rolls her eyes as Iris gets up from the couch. “Ignore her. She’s in a bad mood because Seb chose Lily over her last night.” She pokes out her tongue in the direction of Iris’s retreating back, then looks back to me. “Our Seb. Not your one. So, do you want me to?”
“Want you to what?” I’m slightly confused by her constant chatter. She’s held prisoner in these rooms and yet she acts like nothing is wrong, wanting to watch romantic movies and do each other’s hair.
“Braid your hair.”
“Oh yes, sure. If you want.”
Leaping from the couch, she calls, “I’ll be right back,” before disappearing into her room.
“Don’t judge her,” Lily says from across the room. “She finds happiness where she can.”
“I wasn’t judging her,” I protest, but Lily looks at me in a way that says she knows I’m lying. “Okay,” I admit. “Maybe I was a little. But I just don’t understand how she can be so accepting of all this.” I wave my hand around the room. “Aren’t you all seriously bored just sitting here waiting for Senior to show his face? Not to mention the things he—”
Lily cuts me off. “Wine helps.” She lifts her glass.
“You’re the only one drinking.”
“I’m the only one allowed when Seb’s not around. I have a different set of rules than they do.”
“Why? It hardly seems fair.”
Lily laughs. “I get more because I’ve given more.”
Daisy skips back over, unburdening herself of hair ties and brushes and ribbons and clips.
“You’re not going to regret this.” Picking up the brush, she strokes it through my hair. “Your hair is so thick. I’m rather jealous. I’ve always wanted thick hair and instead I got landed with this frizzy mess.” She leans down with a strand of her blonde hair between her fingers and shoves it in my face. “I wanted to be a hairdresser, you know, before.” She laughs, but there’s a tightness there that wasn’t previously. “Iris and Lily are super sensitive about letting me do their hair so I never get a chance to practice. Oh, maybe you’ll be my tester, the one I can practice on. Do you like getting your hair done? Some people love it. They’re like cats, I reckon. They love affection. They’re touchy people. It’s like being patted, I think, but some others just hate it. It makes their skin crawl. Iris is like that. She goes spastic if I try to do her hair.”
Iris dumps herself on the couch beside me. “Fine, I’ll watch it again but if you cry…” She doesn’t finish but behind me Daisy lets out a little squeal of excitement as her fingers begin to tug in my hair, twisting the strands into a braid.
Iris sits with her arms folded across her chest, dressed in a lacy pink dress that seems about as far from her personality as you can get. Her skin is deathly pale and thin lines of scars run up her left arm. She notices me looking and adjusts her position, moving her left arm under her right. Each time I look over to Lily, she’s already studying me quizzically. I guess if they’ve been locked away in this room for months, maybe even years, seeing new people is a rarity.
I lean toward Iris, lowering my voice so as not to ruin Daisy’s enjoyment of the movie. “When was the last time you went outside?”
“Keep still!” Daisy orders, tugging my head back into place.
“Outside?” Iris’s voice has a slow drawl to it. She turns back to the screen. “Can’t remember.”
“How long have you been here?”
She glances over to Lily before answering. “I’ve lost count. Something like three years.”
“I went outside last week,” Daisy pipes up. “Master took me to see the horses. Have you seen them? They are so cute! There’s this one black one with a stripe down its nose. It’s super adorable.”
“We just let her prattle on to keep her happy,” Iris whispers loudly, exaggerating a wink in my direction.
“I do not prattle,” Daisy huffs. “I’m making conversation. It’s a heck of a lot better than sitting in my room hurting myself or drowning myself in wine. Some of us still have standards.”
“My standard is two bottles a day. Three if I’m lucky.” Lily tips her glass in Daisy’s direction before taking another sip.
Iris snorts. Daisy tugs on my hair. I keep quiet.
Once Daisy is done with my hair and the movie has finished, Iris elbows me in the ribs, whispering and casting quick glances at where Cameron stands near the entrance. “So, what’s happening between you and Cameron?”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, come on, don’t act coy. You were suspiciously long in the bathroom. We all noticed, didn’t we?” She turns to the others for support.
Lily looks down at her magazine. “Don’t bring me into this.”
Daisy’s hands twist nervously in her lap.
“I—It wasn’t—It’s not what you think.”
“And what is it exactly that we think, hmm?”
Lily looks over at Iris sharply. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t make that noise. That ‘hmm’ sound. It reminds me of the bitch of the manor.” She shudders.
Iris leans close. “Katriane and Lily hate each other with a passion. And I mean hate. They actually got in a physical fight once and Seb had to pull them apart. Or so I’ve heard, anyway. It was long before my time.” She shrugs. “But back to you. Cameron, huh?”
“I can assure you there is nothing going on between Cameron and I. Nothing at all.” I glance at him nervously, but he’s distracted with his phone.
“Good,” Lily says, looking over at me. “It would be pure stupidity if there were. Junior wouldn’t tolerate it. It would be the end of Cameron for sure. If you have any sort of affection for the poor man, you’ll leave him well enough alone.”
I clench my teeth together, annoyed at her presumption and also annoyed that it is true. She just has the wrong man.
Iris leans back, stretching into the air. “If I had to choose one to fuck, it would be Ryker. That man barely smiles but I bet he knows how to use his mouth in other ways.” She winks at Daisy and they burst into laughter.
Lily doesn’t say anything, but her lips narrow into a thin line as she studies the page of her magazine.
“Have you seen him, Mia?” Daisy asks. “He’s not good looking like Junior’s good looking, all dark and groomed and gorgeous. He’s rough and ragged, someone you could imagine picking you up and tossing you over his shoulder.”
“Or running your hands through his beard,” Iris says dreamily.
Lily gets up from her seat. “I think that’s quite enough. Imagine if Seb came in and heard us talking like that. We wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week.”
Daisy laughs, but it fades when the truth of what Lily said sinks in. I smile and nod through it all, even as the threat of nausea tugs at my gut.
Before Sebastian arrives home, Cameron takes me back to my room. I’m standing at the window, looking out over the waving fields of grass when he walks in.
“My sweet songbird.” He slips his hands around my waist and sways in time to an unheard rhythm. “I missed you,” he murmurs against my ear. “It was so incredibly boring without you. So bland. So ordinary.” He sighs and it tickles my neck. “But I guess I will have to take that leap one day too. Marriage. It’s not even a pretty word, is it?”
My body tenses at the thought. Marriage. He doesn’t really think he can marry me, does he?
He senses the tightness in my stance and laughs, letting go of me and loosening the bowtie around his neck. “Oh, don’t worry, my pretty little songbird, it will not be you. No, you are my treasure meant to be kept away from the harsh lights of the world.” His shoes, jacket, shirt, and pants drop to the floor. “You are all mine and mine alone.” He’s naked now as he steps behind me. His arms slide around my waist and move to cup my breasts. “How was your day? Did you have a nice time with the girls?”
I swallow the scathing reply that lingers and smile, turning around in his arms and doing my best to keep that smile when I look into his eyes. “Yes, thank you. It was a very lovely day.”
“You are grateful I allowed you the company?”
“Very grateful.”
He pulls me close, his fingers digging into the flesh of my backside through my nightgown. His eyes fall to my chest, darkening when he spots the rise of my nipples through the translucent material.
“Things are so different between us than I expected them to be. We have a connection, a closeness, don’t you think?”
“Yes, Maestro.” There’s something so innocent in the way he accepts the words that fall from my lips. It’s almost as though he believes them.
His mouth lowers to mine and I fight the resistance that wells within. Seeing Ryker has made pretending that much harder. Every time I close my eyes, his face is there before me with such vivid clarity it’s almost as though I can feel his hands still cupping my face.
“I want to make love to you tonight.” His mouth drags over mine, his tongue dipping in to taste mine. “I want you to ride me while I watch you bounce on my cock.” His mouth is hungry against my skin. “Would you like that, hmm? If I allow you the control for once?” Throwing his head back, he laughs. “Maybe the wedding affected me more than I thought. My blood isn’t humming with the desire to hurt you tonight.”
Twisting me around suddenly, he presses my back to his chest and fumbles with the material of my gown, lifting it up my legs until I’m bare and exposed. His fingers push between my thighs.
“You’re not wet.”
My heart drums in my chest. Will I be punished for this? Will his desire to hurt me return? I desperately try to think of a response as his body hardens behind me.
“I’ve been away from you all day,” I say as sweetly as I can.
There’s a fraction of time before he responds when I almost feel as though I’m going to faint. The blood rushes from my body, leaving me feeling cold and clammy. My breathing starts to quicken.
But after a few moments, I feel him relaxing. “You did miss me.” He sighs again as his hand travels up my body and dips into my mouth, forcing four fingers inside. “Suck,” he orders, then uses the moisture covering his fingers to create easier access for him to plunge them between my legs. He groans as he slides them in and out. “Yes, the thought of you riding me is what got me through the day. Every time I had to shake someone’s hand or carry on a meaningless conversation just to keep my father happy, a vision of you, of your bouncing breasts and flushed cheeks got me through the boredom.”
He removes his fingers and pushes them back into my mouth. “Taste yourself. You taste so sweet.”
I squeeze out all thoughts of Ryker from my mind and numbly do as he commands. He rubs his hands over my mouth, cheeks, and chin, smearing my makeup before slipping the straps of my gown over my shoulders and letting the material fall to the ground. Then he turns to lie on the bed, stroking his hardness as he watches me.
“Come,” he orders. “Make love to me.”
Even though part of me wants to hurl myself through the open window, I walk over to him with what I hope are seductive movements and climb onto him.
“That’s it,” he encourages as I position myself over his cock. “Now just slowly slide down.” He sucks in air, biting his lip as I lower myself until I hesitate, the hardness of him stretching me too far. “Don’t stop.” His fingers dig into my hips. “All the way down.” He thrusts upward and pain shoots to my center, causing me to cry out, but he mistakes my pain for pleasure. Or maybe he doesn’t care. Or maybe he likes it.
Resting his hands behind his head, his tongue darts between his lips as he says, “On your feet and ride me.”
Lifting myself to squat over him, I feel every vein of his throbbing cock as I bounce up and down. He watches with eager eyes as I fuck him with bruising regularity until my thighs cramp in protest.
“Don’t stop,” he pants, his eyes now glued to where we are joined together. “I want you to come. I want to feel you clamp around me as you go over the edge with desire.” His words are pained and strained, holding back the release I know isn’t far away.
I bounce up and down, lowering my hands to his chest in an attempt to relieve some of the strain on my thighs.
“Stop, stop,” he groans as his hands grip my ankles and tug them backward until I fall to my knees. “Stay still and play with yourself until you come. I want to watch”
Closing my eyes, I try to block out where I am, who I’m with, and think of Ryker. I think of him on his knees before me, offering himself to me in a way that no one before has.
But Sebastian’s voice breaks my fantasy. “Look at me!”
His eyes turn me cold. There’s no release coiled within, no explosion waiting to be set free. Moaning with what I hope he confuses with ecstasy, I rub my fingers over myself, clenching my inner muscles to mimic an orgasm, crying out his name and collapsing onto his chest.
“Did you come?”
“Yes,” I pant, hoping I sound weak with satisfaction.
“Liar,” he hisses, grabbing a fist full of my hair and wrenching me off his chest. “Fucking liar.”
“No.” I try to shake my head but his grip is too tight. “I wouldn’t, I—”
He slaps me across the face, his cock growing harder inside me. “Don’t fucking lie to me.” Letting go of my hair, he grips my chin between his fingers. “You will learn to come on my command. You will never fake it.” He slaps me again. “What do you say?”
“Yes, Maestro.”
“Yes, Maestro, what?” His commands are confusing and inconsistent. I never know what’s expected of me.
“Yes, Maestro, it is my pleasure to obey your command.”
He slaps me again. They are quick slaps meant to sting, not to damage, but they still bring tears to my eyes. I thought I might be out of tears by now, but it seems my supply is undiminished.
“Now.” He jerks his hips, thrusting into me. “Play with yourself until you come.”
Lowering my hand again, I start to rub circles over myself, closing my eyes again and desperately hoping he doesn’t ask me to look at him. Pain shoots through me as he twists my nipples painfully, rolling them between his fingers and his thumb time and time again as tears fall from my eyes.
“Good girl,” he coos when I jut my chest out for him. His hands are like claws as they scratch over my flesh. “Now come,” he orders.
Panic shoots through me, knowing that the desire isn’t there. I can’t come and I can’t fool him by faking it. I rub over myself furiously, but it’s no good. There’s nothing there.
So I think of him.
Ryker.
I think of his eyes boring into mine and the storm of conflict that constantly battles within them. I think of the way I felt when he kissed me today, and I change the narrative of what happened between us and imagine him pressing me against the wall, our mouths colliding in feverish passion. Warmth starts to coil within me and I press my eyes tighter, blocking out all sights and sounds of Sebastian and thinking only of Ryker. I imagine him pushing up my skirts and seeing me bare and ready for him. He would have groaned and lowered himself to the floor, pulling me toward him and inhaling my scent. And then his mouth would have been on me and I would have threaded my hands into his hair, pulling him even closer as he sucked and licked. I would have come so close.
A groan escapes and Sebastian rocks beneath me. “Come my sweet songbird,” he says, ruining my fantasy.
I push him out of my mind. I would have pulled Ryker to his feet before I came, and he would have plunged inside me, holding me against the wall and kissing me tenderly. The base of his cock would have slid over my wetness and we would have come together, Ryker gripping the sides of my face and groaning the cry of his release into my mouth.
It is enough to take me away. Enough that the thought of him unraveling inside me makes my muscles clench as I come violently, and I rock forward, almost falling to Sebastian’s chest, but he catches me and holds me away, shielding my body from his and lifting my backside up enough that he can drive into me rapidly before I feel his release.
Once his cock stops throbbing, once every ounce of his release is inside me, he pushes me off, getting up from the bed and stretching high into the air.
“Tomorrow we will start your voice training.”
And then he strides from the room, fully naked, and leaves me as a huddled pile of misery on the bed.