CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The next few days flew by so quickly, it felt like Addy blinked and they were gone. The numbness had consumed her, making her feel less than whole.
Everyone in town showed up for her father’s funeral. Even Beau and Joy drove back into town to be there for her.
Trent wanted to stay with her every night, but she needed some time alone to think. So instead, he showed up every day and brought food or cooked for her. She knew she was pushing him away, but at this point, it was needed. She had too much on her mind to think about a relationship.
A large dinner at her mother’s church followed the funeral services. During the entire process, she didn’t speak to her mother once.
Addy stopped looking for wet eyes from the woman after the first ten minutes of the funeral service. After that, her own were too wet for her to care.
She cried more for the lost opportunity of actually having a father. Her mother had robbed any chance of having a normal family life from the both of them.
If only she had . . . she stopped herself from dwelling on the mile-long list of possibilities that threatened to flood her mind.
Trent’s hand reached out and took hers, but she nudged it away and walked outside to get some fresh air. He kept his distance, and she wondered if he knew that she just needed the space.
She could tell he was getting frustrated. Yet one thing was clear in her mind: she didn’t want to fall into the same trap her father had. Not that Trent was controlling or self-important like her mother, but she just couldn’t focus on him at the moment.
No one at the services had questioned why she and her mother weren’t sitting next to each other or, for that matter, talking to one another.
Toward the end of the service, she’d looked over and noticed Darla standing at the back of the funeral home. She watched as Gail walked over, took the woman’s hand, and led her outside. She knew Gail was trying to shelter the woman from her view, but just seeing Darla stirred anger in her gut.
She hadn’t seen Darla since that day in the grocery store. She knew she was still working at the Wet Spot, and the rumor was she was still taking her smoke breaks.
Which caused her to wonder if she was really pregnant. Maybe she’d finally learned how to lie well.
She put that thought out of her mind until she could actually get her mind back into gear. Not that she planned on that happening for a while.
For the next few days, Beau and Joy stuck around to help her out. They were down to a handful of people in the camp. Unfortunately Brian remained one of them.
Addy had let Estelle take over for her and was thankful the woman was a natural. Several thoughts about her future had crossed her mind, but she hadn’t been able to verbalize them quite yet. One thing losing her father had done was to make her think even more about her own future. Still, she had doubts.
Every night she read her father’s note over and over. The more she did, the more she questioned if she was truly happy.
It was almost a week after her father’s passing when she received a call from the lawyer. There were only a small handful of lawyers in Haven, but she’d never met Matt Grengs before. She agreed to meet him at his office the following day.
“Want me to go with you?” Trent asked as he flipped a pancake over in her skillet. He’d continued to show up at her place every morning and acted like nothing was wrong between them. But she knew that it was only a matter of time before he stopped coming by.
The fact that he had his legs spread wide so he didn’t have to cock his neck at an odd angle under the trailer’s ceiling caused her to smile for the first time in days. He looked like a giraffe trying to drink water.
“No.” She looked down at her hands. “I know you probably have tons of work to catch up on. You’ve taken almost an entire week off for me.” She didn’t know how to tell him that he could go back to his normal life without her.
“I don’t mind.” He glanced over at her. “Course my brothers probably do.”
“I’m sure you have plenty to—”
“Addy, I remained quiet when you started pushing me away, but I’m where I want to be.” He set the pan down after flipping the pancake onto a plate.
She felt her heart sink as she watched him set a large stack of pancakes in front of her. What was it going to be like once he lost interest in her? Could she go back to being alone?
He sat down and took her hand in his.
“It’s hard.” She shook her head and pulled her hand away. “I know you have your job and I have mine.” She took a deep breath. “With everything that’s happened . . . recently, I guess I just need . . .”
“I know. After my dad died, I didn’t think I’d be able to get back to life,” Trent said.
“How did you do it?” she asked. “Get your life back to normal?”
“You don’t ever really get back to normal. But you go on every day, remembering the good times, and soon the bad times aren’t even a flicker in your memory. I have this drive to end up as close as I can to how great my dad was.” His eyes met hers. “I know that it’s different for you. Everyone needs to go through their own healing process.”
“Your mother coached you, didn’t she?”
“Actually it was Trisha. Did you know that she has a sister who is very abusive toward her?”
Addy shook her head and she felt a pang in her heart. Trisha was such a nice person. She couldn’t imagine anyone being mean to her.
“You should talk to her about it sometime. She might have a few pointers on how to deal with your mother.”
Just then there was a knock on her door. “Come in,” Addy called out after checking her watch. She knew that Joy and Beau were supposed to come over for breakfast; she invited them over every time she knew Trent was going to be around, kind of like a buffer.
At first she thought that they would feel awkward around him, but instead, Beau and Trent seemed to get along great. Even Joy had mentioned how impressed she was with his entire family.
“Sorry we’re late,” Beau said, sitting down.
“You’re just in time,” Trent said. “I doubt I can eat all this myself.”
“Don’t lie,” Beau joked back. “I bet you could easily put all those away on your own.”
It was still weird seeing Trent and Beau get along so well. She’d imagined them as mortal enemies with her in the middle being tugged to either side. But since their arrival, Beau had been nothing but kind to Trent and vice versa.
They chatted about a few lighthearted things as they ate. When the food was gone, Beau stood up and asked to talk to her outside about work.
“So we have to head back to North Dakota tomorrow. Do you think you’ll be okay here?” he asked when they stepped outside. Addy could see the concern in her friend’s eyes.
“Yes, Estelle has really been such a big help. Actually I was hoping to talk to you about her.”
“Oh?” Beau said.
“I think . . .” She took a deep breath. “I believe that it might be time for me to move on to something else in life.” She twisted her hands in front of her. “I believe Estelle is a perfect replacement. I’ll work with her over the next few weeks until the end of this month.” She watched Beau’s face and saw the surprise in his eyes. “That should be enough time to bring her up to speed.”
Beau fell silent for a moment.
“Is this a personal choice or a professional one?” he asked.
“Both,” she said. “My father wanted me to follow my heart, and I’m just not sure my heart is with FREE anymore. I have had another job offer, but I’m still not even sure about taking that one yet. This will give me the opportunity to explore for a few months before I make a choice.”
“Of course,” he said after a moment. She could tell he was sad but could see that she’d made up her mind. “We want nothing but happiness for you,” he added. “You’ll keep in contact with us, no matter what?”
“Of course.” She felt her breath whoosh out. “I plan on still being invited to your wedding.”
“For sure.” Beau smiled. “I’ll talk to Estelle and see if she’s interested in the position.” He opened the door and waved for Joy to come out.
Joy hugged her. “We’d better get back out there. Thank you for the breakfast.”
“Anytime,” Trent said. “Oh, hey—”
Beau stopped and glanced back.
“Addy mentioned that someone told you about our land deal?”
Beau frowned but nodded. “Yeah. I’m not sure I trusted the man completely, given his history, but after looking into it further, it seems some of his information was dead-on.” When Trent just waited quietly, Beau continued: “It was Dennis Rodgers.”
Trent nodded, and Addy could see the anger fill his eyes. “Yeah. I figured it was him.”
Trent tried to keep the swirl of questions he had for Addy to himself until after they had finished doing the dishes together. He had texted his brothers the information Beau had told him.
What did it mean? How had Dennis found out about the property? Had it been before or after he’d kidnapped Kristen? Trent knew his family had as many questions about it as he did. But for now, he had other questions he could get answers to, he thought as he looked over at Addy.
He knew some of Beau’s thoughts on Dennis, but still, he wondered if Beau believed everything Dennis had told him. And what had Dennis told him exactly? Trent’s mind was torn between protecting his family’s business and shouting their plans from the rooftops so everyone would just leave them alone.
His eyes met Addy’s, and his growing frustration with her taking a giant step back in their relationship surfaced. He’d tried to be patient; after all, she’d just suffered a terrible loss.
But the way she was acting around him, he was getting the hint that she was done with him. Done with wanting to be with him. What would he do if she didn’t want a relationship with him anymore?
Suddenly he needed to move. To get some of the frustration out.
“Will you take a walk with me?” Trent held out his hand, knowing the fresh air would do them both good.
He had to get back to work tomorrow, but there was nothing stopping him from enjoying today.
“A walk sounds perfect.” Addy gave him a slight smile.
She only had a few small Band-Aids left on two of her fingers. He couldn’t even see the scar on her chin or most of the scars on her hands.
They grabbed their light jackets and headed out on one of the popular trails.
“Looks like we might get some more rain later today,” Trent said as they began to walk. “Funny, we usually have one more snow in May, but I think we’ve already seen the last of it for this season.”
“Yeah, it’s been warmer weather so far this year,” she said. “I remember a time when I was about ten, it actually snowed two inches the week before my birthday.”
He glanced over at her. “Which is . . .”
She smiled. “June third.”
“Mine’s September third.”
“I know.” She avoided his eyes.
“How do you know that?” He moved a tree branch to the side so she could pass clearly underneath it.
“Your mother would always bring Rice Krispies treats for the class on your birthday.”
He sighed, remembering now. “That was until junior high. It became childish. Boy, was I stupid. I could go for a batch of those treats right about now.”
Addy giggled. “You just had five pancakes, three eggs, two pieces of toast, and a glass of orange juice.”
At his chuckle, she stopped and looked over at him. “What?”
“That was a small breakfast compared to what I’m used to.”
She shook her head in disbelief. As they reached a fork in the trail, he let her decide which pathway to take. She took the one that would end up taking them to the top of the hill that overlooked Haven.
He followed and when they reached the top, they sat on a large rock in silence.
He loved this view of Haven. From here you could see from one end of town to the other. The main street ran in an arc, cutting the town in half. Houses and businesses spotted both hills surrounding the valley. Mount Powell sat at one end of the town, so that when driving down the main street, you got the best view ever.
His family’s land lay in the opposite direction. The location of his house would give it a nice view of the mountain from the back deck. That was if he could clear a few more trees.
“I didn’t think I’d like being back here,” she said, breaking the silence. He looked over at her and suddenly wondered what it would be like if she decided to leave at the end of the month. His gut hurt at the thought.
“Now?” he asked.
She turned slightly toward him. “It’s grown on me. I’d forgotten how wonderful some of the people are.”
“Anyone in particular?” He reached for her hand, but she moved away, and he noticed the slight frown on her lips.
“A few.” He felt emptiness seeping in.
“I’ve never been one of those kinds of people who rely on others. I guess it stems from the way I grew up. Learning how to not count on anyone for anything. Even affection,” she said as her eyes scanned the view before them.
“That shouldn’t be how anyone lives.” His eyebrows furrowed as he looked out over the town. His town. Something hit him for the first time in his life. “There was a time when I—no.” He shook his head. “When my brothers and I all felt like we couldn’t get out of Haven fast enough.”
“Has that changed?” she asked, glancing over at him.
“Yeah. It’s funny, now I don’t even think I could be happy anywhere else,” he admitted.
She was silent for a while. “I don’t know where I belong yet. I don’t even know if I’m willing to stick around here.”
The metaphorical boulder that had been sitting on his chest doubled in size.
She chuckled. “I’m out of a job at the end of this month, which means I’ll need someplace to park my trailer.”
“I have land,” he blurted out, causing her to smile.
“I was thinking of asking your mother if I could park at her place since she has that long driveway.”
“I’ll have electricity and a well by the end of this month,” he continued, as if the speed of his words could convince her. “Plus, if you’ll allow me to stay with you, it would be easier for me to work faster on getting the rest done so the house can be placed sooner.”
“Trent, I . . .” She shook her head as her eyes closed slowly as if in thought. “I don’t know what I want, but until I do, I can’t continue with this.” She motioned between them. “I have some things to think about. Lots of things, actually.”
He nodded, feeling as if the boulder had crushed him entirely. “Then park your trailer at my place. I’ll have it ready.” She started to open her mouth, but he stopped her by raising his hand. “I’ll stay at my mother’s place until you ask me to stay with you.”