Chapter 10
“We should have taken a week off, Tucker. I had no idea there was so much I wanted to see.” Brandy was folding her clothes when Tucker made his way into their sheeted cubicle. He’d been stacking wood and making sure the fire was fully stoked so they didn’t have to wake up in the morning to a cold building.
“Next time. I promise.” He pulled her to him, fingering the red lace bra she’d bought for the trip. “Where on earth did you get this dangerous device?”
“You like it?”
“Turn around. Let me think about that for a couple of minutes.”
She loved taking direction from him. She peered over her shoulder. “Like this?”
“Keep going.”
Brandy slowly kept moving until she was facing him again. “Should I take my bra and panties off now?”
“I can’t make up my mind.”
His smile was bringing on a wave of hot, wet lust she could smell.
“Is it my imagination, or are these lovely lace things even more sexy looking when they’re so—so—ample?” He darted a worried look her way. “Did I just make a huge mistake?” he said as he winced. He bit his lower lip and, in spite of his enormous size and white beard, looked like a little boy about to be punished.
“I used to let things like that bother me.” She slowly slid her panties down her thighs. “But—”
“Don’t touch that!” he whispered.
Brandy had her hand on the front clasp of her bra, ready to peel it away and stand before him naked. Instead, she splayed her fingers over the satin and eyelet lace, squeezed her flesh and took two little steps until their bodies touched.
“How is it that I’m always the one who’s naked first?” she asked, her lips just barely touching his. She could hear his heart pounding in tandem to hers and took a gentle moan from him as they kissed.
“I guess it’s because I always like to watch, and I forget myself,” he whispered.
“I think it’s healthy to forget yourself now and then, don’t you?” They kissed again, but deeper. “You want me to leave it on or take it off?”
“I think you should leave it on for now. I’ll get to it in about an hour. I have other things I want you to do first. Is that okay with you, Brandy?”
She watched him remove his jeans and underwear, his erection bouncing with anticipation. She held him between her palms like she was praying.
“It’s perfect.”
It was past midnight when she awoke, grateful Tucker held her tight because the room was freezing. Someone in one of the other spaces was snoring up a storm and would have rattled the windows if there were any.
Her heart was still racing from their urgent lovemaking. He’d played her body like an instrument, hard, and incredibly deep, expressed both in body language as well as their frantic whispers. It had been so intense, at one point she broke down in tears and Tucker thought he’d hurt her somehow.
But in a way he had. She was forever altered as if she was a willing participant in her own destruction.
It was hard not to notice a man as tall and strong as he was. But now that she knew him better, had kissed every inch of his body and answered his need with her own, she understood that everything he did he was the master of, except sometimes finding words. But he loved with abandon, never holding back, pushing her to the edge, and then just a little further, until she’d collapse in his arms. The coiled, cloud-of-butterflies-feeling in her belly were physical manifestations of what she knew to be true in her heart. She was falling in love, as she never had before. She also knew this came with risks, since there would be no getting over that kind of intense love. In fact, it was delicious and painful at the same time, even with the absence of a breakup on the horizon.
She tried not to think about where it all was going. She’d been included in the community of brothers, felt herself blend in with the ladies who were lucky enough to also be loved by one of these warriors who turned their worlds upside down. Brandy just took the waves of emotion and passion as they engulfed her and tried not to focus on what it all meant. She knew that was a rabbit hole.
It hardly seemed possible they’d known each other for such a short period of time. He’d been the missing piece she didn’t even know she’d been missing. If she ever had to be without him, life would never be the same.
She thought about Amy and Zak, who was nearly killed on his first deployment. Shannon had lost her first husband, T.J.’s best friend. She’d also heard stories about the women who couldn’t handle the lifestyle, the intensity of their play and their hearts. Still, it was a family, a community of brothers and the women they loved.
But one thing bothered her. Tucker had been talking with Kyle and Brawley, and she knew he missed being a SEAL. What would she do if he decided she wasn’t the right one? What if he tried to re-join his team and failed? How could she ever make up for that incredible loss he would feel.
Or, what if she never could keep him happy enough to stay? Could she meet him halfway, match his energy, and carefully tend to him if he ever fell apart? She wasn’t sure she was cut out for it, any of it.
Try to sleep. You have to rest. You’ll drive yourself crazy with all these thoughts.
“Everything okay, Brandy?” His words startled her.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
He sifted his fingers through her hair. “Yes.”
“I can’t sleep.”
“That happens to me sometimes too when I drink too much. It’s like I’m over-drunk.”
She lay on her back and enjoyed the feel of his large callused hand caressing her breast. The plank beams on the ceiling were barely visible in the reflection of moonlight. Brandy waited, trying to notice some sign her eyelids were heavy and her mind was quieting, but that sign never came. She inhaled and tried to sigh very carefully so he wouldn’t detect her worry. But even that was unsuccessful.
“Talk to me, Brandy.”
“I don’t want to do it here.”
“Hot tub?”
They threw on some clothes and took their towels, discovering that they were able to be alone under the stars. The warm water helped Brandy put her thoughts into words.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and floated with her arms about his neck. The white in his hair and beard made him appear to glow in the dark.
“Is it that bad?” he teased.
“What?”
“Whatever it is you don’t want to tell me.”
“No, Tucker.” She paused and thought carefully before she spoke. “Let me ask you a question. Does the speed of all this scare you just a little?”
“You mean does it fall somewhere between skydiving at midnight and getting my ass shot off by a sniper? That what you mean by scared?”
Now she felt ridiculous. “I got the impression you weren’t the kind of guy who just jumped into relationships.”
“Oh. Okay. So now we’re talking relationships. Is that what this is?”
She would have been worried but saw the goofy grin on his face. “Watch it. Don’t you make fun of me. I don’t like that, as you know.”
“Well, you’re right about me. I don’t do this. I’ve never done this.”
She didn’t want to look at him in the eyes, thinking he might begin to get uncomfortable. The last thing she wanted to do was put him on the spot. But she wanted to know where she stood. And maybe that was the right way to put it.
“Tucker.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Would you be able to give me some indication of where all this is leading? Like, do I fit into your life anywhere other than in your bed?”
He tilted his head and stared back at her without smiling, and her heart fell to the bottom of the hot tub.
“First, if you’d have asked me that about ten years ago, I’d be gone by now. Maybe even five years ago. But, believe it or not, I’ve mellowed. When I went to the wedding on New Years Eve, my goal, and remember I told you I didn’t want to tell you what it was?”
“I remember.”
“My goal was to keep my hands to myself and to not rank or otherwise check out the ladies at the reception.”
“Okay. And how did that work out for you?”
“I didn’t even come close to achieving my goal. I sat there in the church, and I watched as you walked down the aisle, and into my life.”
Brandy was stunned. It wasn’t what she’d expected at all.
“I’ve been watching you when you were sleeping, talking to other people and didn’t know I was looking. I watch you from across the room and out of the sides of my eyes when we go places. And I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t ever want to spend a day when you are not a part of my life.”
She scrambled to her feet, separated herself from him and stood with her back pressed against the other side of the hot tub. Her heart felt like it was going to jump right out of her chest and go running down between the vines.
Tucker just waited. And then that grin overtook his face. “Oh my God. You’re scared.” He approached quietly, relentlessly, and without hesitation gently took her head in his hands and kissed her. “It’s just like skydiving, sweetheart,” he said between kisses. “You put your arms out to the sides, and fly. And I’ll be strapped right there behind you. I will never let you fall. And I’ll never stop loving you.”
Thank you for reading this prequel novella New Years SEAL Dream. As I’m sure you know, the full-length novel will be coming out this summer. But here are some answers to some of your questions in advance. Does Tucker decide to re-join SEAL Team 3? Yes. Does he make it? I’m not telling! You’re going to have to read it to find out. Will they be together? The answer to that is a resounding yes.
He will never let her fall. And yes, they’ll never stop loving each other.
I hope you will continue the journey of Tucker and Brandy. There’s going to be a beautiful wedding in the story.
In wine country.
Happy New Year, dear reader!
Sharon Hamilton
Santa Rosa, California
January, 2018