Mel
I finally crawled into bed at one—without having heard from Nicky. I had locked up and scrubbed down the bar, my stomach in knots. The not knowing, the being out of his life when I could have helped, hurt like a bitch. Showed me exactly how much I meant to him beyond a freebie place to crash and a pussy or ass to fuck whenever the mood struck.
My ears strained for the rumble of his bike. The creak of the exterior stairs leading to my apartment. Every passing car roused me from the shitty sleep I managed to grasp.
A chill swept through me while I lay in my bed, the sheets beside me cold when they should be wrapped around the best thing to ever happen to me. If only he felt the same.
I gave up at six and crawled from bed. Slumped in uncomfortable silence at my kitchen table, I sucked down two cups of coffee, wishing for a shot or two of something a little stronger to go with it.
The temptation to call the hospital came on strong, but Suzie wasn’t my family. The chance of me getting any info was close to none. I considered asking for her room, but if Nicky had wanted me there or wished to talk to me, he’d have called.
Kelly texted me at eight asking how Suzie was. Replying that I didn’t know sucked ass.
I hopped in the shower, my aching chest to the hot spray while scrubbing my hair. A few tears mixed in with the water droplets on my face as longing for Nicky rolled over me again.
How had I become so wrapped up in him so quickly? Imagining the next day—the next year—without him in my bed, behind the bar with me, had me praying to a god I didn’t believe in. My stomach churned, and no amount of swallowing eased the pain in the back of my throat.
The bathroom door squeaked open, and I paused in squirting conditioner into my hand to peer through the fogged shower door.
Nicky.
My knees weakened as sudden lightness filled my heart.
He tugged his shirt off overhead, drying out my mouth, and when he pushed down his leather pants, my breath caught in my throat. My mind raced over the need for answers—what he felt, if he wanted more than just the physical with me—but the dark circles lining his bleak eyes kept my mouth shut.
Stomach fluttering, I put the conditioner bottle back down and wiped water from my face as he stepped into the shower with me.
“Suzie?” I whispered.
“Gonna be okay.” He crowded against me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I melted into him and he took my mouth with a ferocity I matched, pouring out my hurt and frustration with every swipe of my tongue and nip of my teeth.
His cock swelled, pressing against my belly, and I moaned while rubbing myself against him.
Nicky grasped my ass and lifted me like I weighed nothing, holding me tight against him.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, locking my ankles.
“I need you,” he groaned, sliding his cock along my pussy lips.
“Yes,” I said and captured his mouth again, uncaring that in the moment he only needed me in a physical sense.
He lined up and thrust in with no resistance—skin on skin. I groaned into his mouth as his arms tightened around me, holding me in a vise grip.
I’d never had a man without a condom before. Exquisite torture—knowing nothing separated us and that Nicky was inside of me as deep as he could get flooded me with unexplainable emotion. My heart hammered in my chest and tears pricked my eyes, but not from hurt or sadness.
I tried to wiggle, and he began to move his hips, holding my ass with one hand, the other around my waist.
Fingers in his hair and legs squeezing, I took all he gave, my climax rising to the surface faster than I thought possible. His strength, raw power, and hard muscles filled me with lust, soaked my pussy around his thrusting cock.
I panted for breath against his mouth, and he pulled his head back. Blue eyes, lust-hazed beyond the exhaustion, peered at me. Water drops clung to his long lashes and beard.
“I need you to come around my cock, Mel. I need you to make me forget all the fucking shit in my brain.”
My body obeyed, my climax sweeping around from my toes and shattering over me. I cried out his name while convulsing in his arms.
He bit my collarbone, muffling his shout, and his cum shot hot, deep inside of me. Every spurt sent a wave of euphoria over me, and I clung to his wet skin, anchoring myself to reality.
Eyes closed, I soaked in the tingles racing through me as he calmed, still buried inside of me. He rained kisses on my neck and jaw, eventually taking my mouth in a gentle kiss.
I slid my legs down, and he backed away, leaving me empty, our combined cum dripping between my thighs. Shoulder slumped, he stood like a defeated man.
“Here.” I turned him into the spray, grabbed the soap, and began washing him.
Head tilted back into the water, arms at his side, he slouched and allowed me to attend to him. His cock stirred in my soapy hands, but I continued down his thighs and turned him to work my way up his backside.
I washed him, caring for him the best way I could, even though he didn’t want me emotionally or mentally.
“Do you want coffee?” I asked while putting the soap back in the dish, a slight tremor in my voice.
“Just a bed.” His low voice rasped, probably from being up all night.
I climbed out of the shower and grabbed an extra towel, fighting off the tears stinging my eyelids and the desire to discuss what was going on between us. Nicky was obviously in no state to have a serious conversation, let alone deal with a woman’s tears.
Without a word, we dried off, and I tucked my towel around my chest while Nicky hung his on the hook on the back of the bathroom door. Naked, he staggered across my bedroom, pulled back the blankets, and collapsed like a drunk man.
I pulled the covers up over him, and he rubbed his face against my pillow, breathing deeply. That sweet ache swept through me but didn’t bring a smile to my face as it usually did. I grabbed some clothes, shut off the light, and left him to sleep, wishing my mind would shut off as easily.