Billionaire and nightclub entrepreneur, August Harlow, runs into a girl who was his neighbor from their small hometown. They’re both shocked to see one another, but he’s even more shocked to find she has a son. A son who’s 6 years old. And he knows he and she had a little secret sex just before he left to join the Marines a little less than 7 years ago.

Could the kid be his?

He looks a hell of a lot like him. Has a crooked smile just like he does. Same shade of dark hair and green eyes too. Should he ask her if the kid is his or dodge the same bullet he may have dodged for 6 years?

* * *

Chapter One

August

Smoke loomed over the distant hills. The fires had been burning in Big Bear for three days. My office in downtown Los Angeles would be safe, or that’s what the authorities preferred us to believe. My home in Hidden Hills, a suburb of L.A., was okay, too, for the time being anyway.

Moving away from the window and trying to get the scene of wildfires out of my mind, I headed toward my desk when my cell rang. My sister’s name flashed across the screen of my iPhone. “And how can I help you today, big sister?” Leila had six children, a husband who worked out of town most of the time, and a career as a hairdresser to the stars that kept her more than busy. So, she turned to me more often than not for help with the herd of kids she and her husband had.

“Now what makes you think I need your help, August?” sarcasm laced her voice. “Maybe I’m just calling to say hello and ask how your day is going.”

“Sure, you are.” A light chuckle punctuated the sentence. “And my day has been relatively uneventful. Thankfully. Thanks so much for asking. And I assume your day is going about the way it usually does. Hectic.”

“Right you are. I don’t suppose you’d like to go to the California Science Center to pick up your nephew for me? Gino’s grounded from using the car you so generously gave him for his sixteenth birthday last week.”

“Already?” Plopping into my office chair, I brushed my hand through my hair. The kid had promised me he’d be cool with the brand-spanking-new Chevy Camaro. “What did he do?”

“He took it out after curfew. Snuck out sometime in the wee hours of the morning and came back around seven in the morning, pretending to have gone out to get us all some donuts. Except the fool forgot to actually buy any donuts, letting me and his father know he’d been out and up to no good.” She sighed heavily. “He’s only the third oldest, August. I’ve got three more to get through the troublesome teens. My future is looking dimmer and dimmer with each passing day.”

“Come on, you’re Mother of the Year every year, and you know it.” Getting up, I headed to the door to leave. If I knew anything, it was that my sister had left this to the last minute, and the kid was most likely already waiting to be picked up. “I’ll head out now.”

“Thank you, dear brother. I’ve got to do a dye job on Miss Perfect today and I’m not looking forward to it.” She sighed again, a thing she did far too much.

“You don’t even have to work, Leila. Your husband’s job would keep you guys more than comfortable. So why push yourself so hard? You’ve got six—count them—six kids to worry about.” The key fob in hand, I pushed the button to let myself into my BMW.

“August, I’ve told you this a million times, but here it goes, one million and one. I work to get away from the mother and wife role for a few hours each day. I know you don’t get it. But that’s because you’re single and kid-free.” She paused for a moment, the phone clearly leaving her ear. “I’ve got to go. Her entourage has arrived, and the queen bee will soon be following—after the spritzing of the air with lilac oils and the spreading of rose petals occurs, of course.”

“Of course,” I echoed. “I’ll talk with Gino while I take him home. Give him the wise old uncle lecture.”

“Good. Give that boy hell, little brother. Bye now. And thanks.”

“Bye.” I ended the call and started up the car.

Traffic was light at one in the afternoon as I made my way to the Science Center. When I got there and headed inside, I found Gino still working. “Hey, Uncle August! Cool, Mom sent you to get me.”

“Yeah, she did, you rebel without applause.” My fist connected with his scrawny bicep, making him wince. “That wasn’t even hard, wimpy. So, what has you working on a school day, and when do you get off?”

“I’m on a four-day school week, did you forget that, Unc? No school on Fridays for me. And I get off in a half hour.” He shrugged. “Can you wait around for me?”

“I guess so.” Looking around, I saw all kinds of things that might interest me. “I’ll check the place out. I’ve never been here before. It looks cool.”

“Yeah, it is. Lots of tour groups come through the place. Lots of field trips come through here with kids of all ages.” He grabbed his broom and got back to work as I walked away.

The space shuttle Endeavor hung from the rafters nearby, capturing my attention. It seemed to be taking lots of people’s attention as several groups surrounded it, leaving minimal room to see it, even with its giant stature.

Standing behind a group of little kids, I spotted one little boy who seemed familiar. Not sure why, since I didn’t even know any little kids, but something about him drew my attention more than the giant airship above us.

He giggled along with a couple of other boys. Then he turned toward me, and I saw that his eyes were hazel, just like mine. And his hair was the same shade of brown, too.

That’s freaky…

“Mom!” his excited little voice shouted as someone moved past me. Our arms brushed for just a split second, but the electric current that came along with that touch pulsed all the way through my body.

“Calum!” the curvy redhead who’d just shocked my system with a simple touch called out to the kid. She picked him up, hugging him, and all I could do was look at her spectacular ass.

Hubba, hubba!

“I didn’t think you was comin’, Momma,” the boy said as he clung to her.

“I wouldn’t miss your first-ever field trip.” She put him down, taking his hand then turning to the side to look up at the space shuttle.

Her profile was pretty; her nose turned up a bit at the end. Her pink lips were on the plump side. The way the blue jeans hugged her curvy hips and the light beige sweater clung to her double D’s enchanted me—and my cock, which thumped inside my slacks. She turned all the way around, taking in everything that surrounded us, and I finally saw her entire face.

Tawny Matthews!

My pulse raced, my body heated. The feeling was familiar—it was the same way she’d always affected me from the moment she went from a gangly little girl to a curvy teen dream. But there was more than mere attraction with this one. Tawny had a place in my heart she’d stolen long ago.

Like a time warp had opened up, my mind left where I was to head back to where I’d been seven years earlier…

A full moon hung low in the night sky as I looked out the backdoor window of my parents’ home—a home I’d be leaving in the morning. Destination San Diego. Marine boot camp. After graduating early from college with a degree in engineering, I’d enlisted with the marines to do my part in the ongoing war. At twenty-one, I was heading into danger for the first time in my life.

The midnight hour was at hand, but sleep was not. I’d headed to the kitchen in search of a glass of milk, hoping that would help me relax and get some sleep before I had to leave for San Diego at six a.m. The moon captured my attention first though, drawing me to the window. And out that window, I spied another thing that would keep me from the glass of milk. The girl next door was outside, lying back in a lounge chair.

We didn’t have privacy fences in our neighborhood, just short chain-link ones. The small town of Sebastopol, California wasn’t the kind of place where you hid from your neighbors. And one of my neighbors was Tawny Matthews, a recent high school graduate who’d turned eighteen only a few weeks ago, if I recalled correctly. And she had her eyes on the sky, doing a little moon gazing.

Music floated on the breeze as I opened the back door. The sounds were light, airy, and romantic. Something inside of me stirred.

Tawny was pretty; I’d always thought so. We’d lived next door to each other forever. When we were really young, we’d played together in our backyards. When we were both little kids, we used to love tossing a beach ball back and forth over that chain link fence that separated our yards.

But once I left grade school for junior high, she and I lost that friendship we’d had. Puberty had started having its way with me while Tawny was still a kid with pigtails who played with dolls. My attention went to the girls my age and older, the more mature ones. Tawny got left behind, a thing I hadn’t really noticed until she started sprouting up and growing the female parts that took my interest.

But we were four years apart, and she was too young for me then. A senior in high school definitely couldn’t be with a girl in the eighth grade, after all. But that didn’t stop me noticing how attractive she’d become. So, I’d kept my distance from her on purpose.

But now that she’d turned eighteen, she wasn’t so young anymore.

Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to her. I stepped out into the night. “Hey.”

She smiled at me. “Hey.”

Shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans, I rocked back and forth on my bare feet. “You’re up late.”

She chewed her lower lip as she looked me up and down with her pretty green eyes. My t-shirt was black and tight, hugging my pecs and biceps. I’d worked hard to get my body into excellent shape, so boot camp wouldn’t completely kick my ass. “So are you.”

The way she eyed me made me think that she might be more interested in me than I’d ever known. “You want some company?”

Plump pink lips pulled up to one side. “Why, you want some?”

Everything about her told me she was into me, so I headed through the gate that separated our yards, taking the lounge chair next to hers. “I do want some. I’m heading out to boot camp in the morning, and my mind’s a mess about it.”

Her lips formed a straight line as she looked into my eyes. “So, you’re really going then?”

With a nod I went on, “I’m not afraid to fight in this war. But I am afraid I’ll never see home again.”

With my words, she glanced up at the rising moon. “If it helps at all, I think you’re a hero, August.”

“I’m no hero. Not yet anyway. But thanks.” Thinking about what lay ahead of me put me in a mood for some midnight confessions, so I told her, “And I should tell you since I might never see you again, that I think you’re beautiful. I’ve thought so ever since you turned fifteen. You and I were too far apart in age to ever do anything about that though.”

She sat up, looking me right in the eyes as she smiled. “Okay, if we’re being honest then I can tell you that I’ve always thought you were smoking hot.”

A tantalizing idea popped into my head as my cock sprang to attention. “Well, I may never make it back, Tawny.”

She already seemed to be on board. “My parents aren’t home. I’m here alone, August.”

Something compelled me to make sure she knew how things had to be with us before we took this step. “It would be a one-night thing. You understand that, don’t you?”

With a knowing expression, she nodded. “It would be an honor to lose my virginity to a real hero.”

Whoa, what?

“You’re a virgin?” Heat coursed through me—I’d never had a virgin before. To think that after I’d lusted after Tawny for years, I would get to pop that cherry had me on fire.

All she did was nod as she got up, taking my hand in hers before leading me into her empty house.

Chapter Two

Tawny

Not in a zillion years did I expect to look around the California Science Center in Los Angeles and find the man that I’d given my virginity to looking right at me. His hazel eyes clung to mine, much the same way the expensive-looking black suit clung to his body, which was even more muscular than it had been seven years earlier. Those chiseled features, the sharp nose, and those high cheekbones offset by lips that looked soft and inviting took my complete attention as my heart raced. My hands fisted at my sides, yearning to run them through his thick, wavy, chestnut brown hair once again.

My feet moved without me telling them to, carrying me to the man who’d given me so much. I’d always been drawn to him, even when we were just two neighborhood kids hanging out after school. I guess some things never change.

“August Harlow!” Our bodies slammed together as I threw my arms around him. He hugged me tightly, picking me up so my feet left the ground. “I thought I might never get to see you again.”

His hold on me loosened as he placed my feet back on the floor. His hazel eyes sparkled, just the way I remembered them doing all those years ago when he’d first kissed me. “I have to say the same thing about you, Tawny Matthews.” He let me go entirely, and I felt the loss right away. Being in his arms felt like being home again. “Let me get a look at you.” His eyes roamed over my body, making me heat up inside. “You’ve grown up, haven’t you? And filled out perfectly.”

Just as my core began to pulse—August’s compliment had me wanting to jump his bones right then and there—a tug on the bottom of my sweater had me looking down. Hazel eyes shone up at me, and I ran my hand through my son’s silky chestnut hair. “Momma, who’s that?”

“This man used to be my next-door neighbor, Calum.” I looked back at August. “I’d like you to meet August Harlow.”

August extended his hand, which I found to be a funny thing to do to a six-year-old. “Hi, Calum. It’s nice to meet you.”

Calum let him shake his hand but ran his other arm around my leg, clinging to me. Then he buried his face in the side of my leg, and I rested my hand on his little shoulder. “He tends to be on the shy side until he gets to know someone.”

August’s eyes met mine again. “So, you got married?”

“No,” I said quickly, and didn’t offer any more information about that. “Do you live in L.A. now?”

“Yeah. And you?” August asked as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks, rocking back and forth on his feet the same way he did the night he changed my life.

“We’ve just moved here.” I watched August as he eyed my son but didn’t ask a thing about who his father was. “I left Sebastopol a few months ago, just before school started. Calum’s in first grade now. I didn’t want to make him change schools in the middle of the year once the new job I came here for starts.”

August pulled his eyes off Calum to look at me. “And what job would that be?”

“I’m a nurse. I got on with Cedars-Sinai in the maternity ward. But the job doesn’t start for a few more months.” Calum’s class was moving on, and he looked back at them, then at me. “Go ahead, baby. Go with your class. I’ll catch up, don’t worry.”

“’Kay, Momma,” he said, then took off like a flash to catch up with his friends. Kyle and Jasper were a couple of little boys that he talked about nonstop each day when I picked him up from school.

“You’re a nurse?” August asked as his dark brows rose.

“Yeah. I worked in San Francisco after I graduated and got my RN. The drive was a real killer, an hour there and an hour back home. Mom watched Calum for me as I had to work the night shift. At Cedars, I’ll get the day shift and weekends off. Calum will be in school all day while I work, and he’ll only have to stay at daycare for a couple of hours before I get off. Things will be a lot better with the new job.”

“Color me impressed.” He looked me over without an ounce of shame in his game. “You and I should have dinner some time. You know, catch up.”

I agreed wholeheartedly and reached out my hand. “Give me your cell and I’ll put my number in your contacts. I’d love to catch up with you, August Harlow.”

As I typed in my number, my mind skipped back seven years to that fateful night…

Alone at home with my parents in Napa Valley for the weekend, I found myself looking out my bedroom window at the full moon that night. It called me to sit outside and do a bit of moon bathing.

Sitting outside in one of the lounge chairs in the backyard, I had no idea the hot guy next door would be joining me soon. “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars played on my cell, keeping me company until the sound of the back door opening at the house next to ours took my attention.

I turned the volume down as my hunky neighbor stepped outside, his eyes on the moon before landing on me. August Harlow and I had a four-year age difference that separated us, but that’d never stopped me from having a huge crush on him. As he started making small talk, I got the feeling that he knew I’d turned eighteen a few weeks back—and that it mattered to him.

We’d played together when we were kids. But junior high had taken him away from being my friend anymore. He was always going after he left our grade school to go to what I had called The Big Kids’ School. I felt like he’d left me behind.

But after puberty changed my body, I had caught him looking at me from time to time, on the school bus, and in my backyard from his upstairs bedroom window. I’d fantasize about him coming over, asking me out on a date. But fantasy was all I thought I’d ever have.

In no time at all, my insides were on fire for him. Hell, they’d been smoldering for years. Equipped with the knowledge that he’d be leaving the next day to go to boot camp before heading to war, I lost every inhibition I’d ever had.

A part of me I never knew existed came alive inside of me, and suddenly I was taking the guy’s hand and leading him into my parents’ home. Once inside, he kicked the door closed and pulled me to him, turning us around before pushing me up against the door.

My heart was beating so hard we both felt it. “Seems I’ve excited you, Tawny.”

My name coming out of his mouth with him so close to me compelled me to trail my fingers over his lips. “They are as soft as I thought they’d be.”

Those luscious lips curled into a sexy smile as he moved them closer and closer to mine, until they touched, sending fire rushing through my veins. “Oh…” I moaned, making my lips part. He took advantage, and his tongue moved into my mouth to twirl around with mine.

My body, pressed as it was between the door and his strength, felt like it belonged to him. Every little touch he made had me aching deep inside. I’d never wanted anything more than I wanted him.

When one of his hands made its way under my t-shirt, cupping my naked breast, I gasped with desire, not understanding how the heat I’d already felt could continue to intensify. His mouth left mine, moving down to join his hand at the tit he played with as his tongue danced over my skin. “God!”

He bit my nipple playfully then held it between his lips as he licked it over and over before sucking on it. “You like that?” he asked, and all I could do was moan in response.

My hands flew to run through his wavy, dark hair, relishing how it felt. “Damn, your hair’s so soft,” my voice but a whisper.

“And you taste like heaven,” he growled before picking me up, bridal-style, and carrying me to the living room. He laid me on the sofa and put his body on top of mine.

The weight of his body on mine gave me a sense of ownership—like he was mine now. Like I’d hold part of him forever—at least in my head and my heart.

He kissed me hard as he pushed the top of my pajama pants down and moved his hand into my panties. Another gasp escaped me as his finger slid into my virgin hole. “Fuck, you’re tight as hell, baby.” He grinned at me. “I cannot wait to feel your tight pussy clamped around my hard cock.”

My head went light with his naughty words.

Holy hell, he’s fucking hot!

I grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up and running my hands all over his muscular back. His finger pumping inside me only made me more eager to feel his cock within me.

He moved off me and began undressing right in front of me. When he reached down to pull my pajama bottoms off, I stopped him. “Let’s go to my bed, August. I’m a virgin, and I’m going to bleed a little when you break my hymen. If I get blood on Mom’s sofa, she’ll kill me.”

Gathering me in his arms, he kissed me once more, soft and sweet. “Point me to your room then.”

Pointing the way for him, he took me into the room I’d grown up in and put me down on my twin-sized bed. As he pulled my nightclothes off, his lips moved over every inch of flesh that he exposed. The panties were the last things to go, and then his lips grazed my sex. The moan that escaped me was deep and throaty. “August…”

Warm air moved over my pussy as he blew on me. I had no idea sex could be so great—no idea sex with August could be this good. And it hurt like hell that I’d only get the one night with the man…

“Mom!” the sound of my son’s voice tore me from my memory. Back to the reality that stood in front of me.

August’s hazel eyes peered into mine. He was real and right in front of me. The man I thought I’d never get to feel again stood two feet away from me.

By some miracle, I had another chance with him.

Chapter Three

August

My nephew Gino left work starving to death, so we stopped to eat before I took him home. I spotted my sister’s car in the drive, so I got out and headed inside to have a little chat with her about the day’s activities and my chance meeting with Tawny.

Seeing Tawny and her son had raised a lot of questions in my mind, and I needed to talk it out with someone. Leila and I have always been close, and she’s been my sounding board for most of my life.

We walked into the kitchen and were met by the rest of her brood of children. “Mom, I don’t like spaghetti the way you cook it,” her oldest, Jeanna, griped.

“Then cook it yourself, Jeanna. Damn!” Leila bitched as she slammed a monster-sized package of pasta on the granite countertop.

“Hi,” I called out to get my sister to look at me.

Her eyes ran over the kids who filled the kitchen before landing on me. “Hey, you.” She looked at her oldest daughter as she went to the wine chiller, grabbing a bottle and two glasses. “You’re on dinner tonight, my darling daughter.”

“I’ll help,” the youngest of the bunch, ten-year-old Jacob, shouted as he raised his hand as if he was in school.

“Great,” came Jeanna’s sarcastic reply.

Leila walked past me, jerking her head as a gesture for me to follow her. “Come on, little brother.”

Leaving the noisy kitchen, I followed my sister to the patio out back. She popped the cork on the bottle and filled her glass to the very top before only filling mine halfway.

“Feeling stingy, sis?” I asked as I took a seat on the other side of the small table that sat between two chairs. My sister purposely put only two chairs and the little table on this particular patio to discourage the children from bothering her out there.

“No, you’re driving so you only get half a glass.” She sat down with a long sigh then took a dainty sip of her wine. “Oh, this is delicious.” A hearty gulp followed and then she sat back and looked relaxed. “So, what’s up?”

“You remember the Matthews from next door back home, right?” I asked then took a drink of the wine, finding it a bit on the bitter side. It seemed my sister could find any wine delicious.

“Sure, there were the parents and that one kid. A girl. Um, Tawny.” Another long drink took her to half a glass already. “What about them?”

“Well, I saw Tawny today when I went to the Science Center to pick up Gino.” I stopped as I contemplated Leila’s role in my chance meeting with the young lady I’d thought of often since our one night together. “Thanks for asking me to go pick him up, by the way. If I hadn’t been there at that exact time, I’d never have seen her. And man, did I enjoy seeing her.”

“She’s too young for you, Romeo,” Leila informed me with a snippy attitude. Always the older, wiser sister.

“No, she wasn’t.” The wine, although bitter, called to me and I took another sip.

Nope, still bitter.

Leila’s dark brows raised. “Wasn’t? Don’t you mean to say, isn’t?”

“She wasn’t, and she isn’t now either,” I clarified. “You see, the night before I left for boot camp there was a full moon. I went outside to look at it when I couldn’t sleep, and there I found Tawny. One thing led to another, and bada-bing bada-boom, I ended up having sex with her and ridding her of her pesky virginity.”

The wine glass nearly fell out of her hand. But my sister wasn’t one to commit party fouls and quickly regained her grip on it before so much as a drop could spill out of the deeply welled glass. “No! She was just a kid, August!”

“No, she was eighteen, and I was only twenty-one,” I corrected her.

“The day you left for boot camp you were twenty-one, but three days after that you turned twenty-two. You’re almost four full years older than that girl. August, you should be ashamed of yourself.” She stopped long enough to take a drink before going on, “And the fact that you took this girl’s virginity then left her is…well, it’s a shitty-ass thing to do is what that is.”

“Yeah, I know.” I looked up at the sky at the low-hanging sun—evening was setting in. “She’s got a son. He’s in first grade. How old is a kid when they’re in that grade, Leila?”

“Six,” she said without missing a beat. She had so many kids she didn’t even have to stop to think about that.

“Six?” I asked, as I thought about the kid’s age. “Are you sure they’re not, like, four or something? The boy was pretty small. I thought he had to be about four.”

“Kids are little, August. But if he’s in first grade, then he’s six or seven.” She drained her glass then promptly refilled it.

If the kid was six, and Tawny and I had been together approximately seven years ago, then could he be…? “It was seven years ago that she and I were together. Do you think he could be mine?”

“I dunno.” Leila looked at the red wine as she swirled it in her glass. She had a special affection for the fermented grape. “Does he look like you?”

“He’s got brown hair and hazel eyes.” I pushed my hand through my own brown locks as I thought about the little boy. “And he’s adorable, just like me.” I grinned at her.

Her brows raised. “Wow. You didn’t just ask Tawny if he’s yours?”

Was she crazy? “Hell no! That would’ve been rude. And the boy was standing right there most of the time.”

My response to her absurd question had earned me a nod. “You’re right…especially with the kid standing right there. Is she married though?”

With a shake of my head, I answered, “Nope.”

Leila’s eyes went wide as a thought must’ve popped into her head. “Is she aware of your billionaire status?”

“Nope.” I winked at her. “That’s not a thing I throw around, sis. Can you imagine what she’d think of me if I just blurted that out? Like, ‘Oh, nice to see you again, and by the way, I’m filthy rich now, so there’s that.’”

Still, my sister’s wheels turned. “Hmm, if she were to discover that information, do you think she’d go after you for child support if the kid’s yours?”

As if I’d merely give the fruit of my loins child support and nothing else! “If that boy is mine, I’ll gladly support him. Do you think I should call her up and ask her to join me for dinner tonight?”

“Why are you asking me?” She looked off to one side as the sound of a door opening took her attention. “If it’s not important, it can wait. Go back inside, Jenna,” she hadn’t even looked to see who it was, but somehow she sensed it. Leila shook her head as the door closed. “She’s my little tattletale. At fourteen, I thought she’d be done with that crap. But nope, still tattling. And Jeanna is the one she likes to tell on the most.”

“She’s probably out to get Jeanna because you named them almost the same damn thing, and it pisses her off,” I offered as an explanation. “Who does that, Leila? Jeanna and Jenna—were you stoned when you named your fourth child? Or had you simply run out of name ideas by then?”

“The latter.” She took a sip. “And some of the former, if I’m to be perfectly honest. So back to our conversation before the interruption—I’m way older than Tawny, since I’m three years older than you. I never really knew her at all. I have no idea if you should ask her out for dinner tonight or not. Maybe she’s holding on to some resentment towards you—I know I would. Whether you’re that boy’s dad or not, you screwed her, took her virginity, and then left her all alone. Man, that would’ve fucked me up.”

“She didn’t act mad at all—not seven years ago and not when I saw her today. I think taking her for dinner is a good idea, but she might need a babysitter. I thought you might volunteer. It’d give you a chance to see the kid who just might be your nephew,” I enticed my sister.

The fact was, I wasn’t sure if the kid was mine or not. Part of me wanted to jump up and down and shout it to the world that I was a father. But the rational part of me told me to stay calm, that the kid might not be mine. It was easier to make light of it all than to think too hard on that conundrum.

Putting the glass down, a smile filled her face. “I’m in! You know how I am about kids.”

She was a nut over kids. “You know, one of my business partners has recently become a father. Wouldn’t that be crazy if I became one, too?”

Leaning back in her chair, she looked up at the sky. “Crazier things have happened, August. But you should really think about this before you ask her out. Say the kid isn’t yours—do you really want to get involved with a single mom? It’d be cruel to Tawny for you to get involved with her and her son when all you’re looking for is a quick second round with her. And say he is yours—she’s been fine without you for six years; do you really want to take on such a huge responsibility right now? It’s hard enough becoming a parent when you’ve planned for it, never mind becoming a dad overnight—and you’ve got a lot going on right now with the nightclub opening soon.”

“Maybe you’re right.” The club had kind of faded to the far reaches of my mind for once, what with Tawny showing up in my life out of the blue. My business partners and I were all busy planning the grand opening of our club, Swank. We had set the opening night for New Year’s Eve, which was just a couple of months away. “Maybe I should hold off. But man, Tawny was pretty enough seven years ago when I last saw her, but now, she’s absolutely gorgeous. I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“My advice,” my sister said as she got up. “Put this off for a bit. See if you’re still thinking about her in…let’s say a week. Even if he’s not your kid, you should think about how it might be, dating a woman with one. It’s not always easy. We moms are weird about bringing men around our kids. It’s not always the easiest relationship when you have to share your woman with someone right from the get-go, either.”

What she said settled in my brain. “Yeah, I think you’re right. I’ll hold off for a week and see how I feel then. If that boy is mine, I think she’d tell me anyway, even if I didn’t ask her out. I mean, why wouldn’t she?”

Thinking Tawny would’ve told me if he was mine, or at the very least told me we should talk, made me think Calum couldn’t be mine. No matter how much he looked like me.

Maybe Tawny just had a type. Or maybe she was just pining away for me after our night together. She could’ve gone out and found a guy with the same color hair and eyes I had so she could pretend it was me again. And the poor girl found out that not just any man could fulfill her like I could, so she broke up with the dude.

I chuckled at my arrogance, but a part of me hoped that was the case. It was better than thinking of the alternative.

Chapter Four

Tawny

The day had faded into night, and still August hadn’t called me. I supposed it was stupid for me to think he would call me right away. He looked to be a busy man—that suit told me he had to be some bigwig somewhere. Probably just very busy, is what I told myself.

After putting Calum to bed, I poured myself a glass of red wine and settled into my bed. Sipping on the wine, I tried in vain to read an e-book I’d downloaded, but the romantic scenes didn’t do a thing for me. What August and I had done that night so long ago was hotter than anything the writer had written in her book.

Putting my Kindle down on the nightstand, I laid back, closing my eyes and picking up the memory of that night, right where I’d left off when Calum distracted me at the Science Center…

August had undressed me, and he was gloriously naked as well. He’d taken me to my bed, and his mouth was on my mound—kissing, nipping, and licking me into a state of bliss I hadn’t known existed.

I’d given myself a handful of orgasms before, and they’d felt pretty good, but what August did felt out of this world. His tongue pushed into me, making me gasp with the odd pressure it gave me. “August!”

He didn’t let up; he kept pushing his tongue into me, fucking me with it. The way his hands gripped my hips, holding me still for him as he did what he pleased, had me screaming with ecstasy when his oral stimulation took me over the edge.

My entire body pulsed with the climax. I’d never felt anything like that before. And then August was kissing his way up my body, stopping to run his tongue around my belly button a few times. He caught each tit, nipping and sucking them back and forth, before coming up to my face and kissing me with a hard kiss. “Ready?” he asked when he pulled his mouth away from mine.

I searched his eyes as I bit my lower lip. “Do it. Take my virginity, August Harlow.”

He eased down onto me, no longer hovering over my body, but letting his weight bear me down into the mattress. His mouth took mine again as he hooked his hands behind each of my knees, bringing them up so my feet were on the mattress. The next thing I knew a burning sensation hit me hard and heavy as he thrust his cock into me.

“August!” I screamed with the pain.

“Hush, baby. It’s going to be okay.” He stayed perfectly still, letting the pain ebb. When my desperate pants eased, he pulled his cock nearly all the way out then pushed it in again. And this time, it didn’t hurt as much.

Although the pain was there, so was something else. Pleasure.

His hands moved up and down my arms as he started his smooth, even thrusts into me. Soft lips grazed up and down my neck and then went further, stopping at the spot just behind my right ear. He bit, licked and sucked that same spot until my body quaked with an orgasm.

“August!” I screamed again and again as the orgasm shook me to my core.

If anyone had told me that sex could feel that amazing, then I’d have told them they were lying. Nothing seemed real in that moment. The feelings coursing through my body were too great, too fantastic. It had to all be a dream. It had to be!

The hot guy from next door hadn’t really come to me as I sat outside in the middle of the night. He’d never paid any real attention to me before, so why now?

“Baby, you’ve given me the best going away present.” His lips were back on mine, his tongue forcing its way in, taking me over.

Oh, yeah. He’d be leaving me soon. The dream-like state faded as reality set in. I’d just given my virginity to a man who couldn’t be with me. A marine who had dangerous missions to get to. A marine who might never come back home.

And with those thoughts, I turned into one sexy, insatiable girl—I needed more. “Oh, baby. I had no idea how good this would be. You’ve given me one hell of a going away present, too.” I arched my body up, letting him know I wanted more.

The smile he gave me sent my heart into triple time. “Oh, Tawny Matthews, you are something else, aren’t you?”

“I want you to do things to me that you’ve only dreamt about. Show me things I’ve never even thought about before. Fuck me all night long. Leave me burning with memories I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life—memories of the one night I had August Harlow between my legs.” My hand ran around to the back of his neck, and I pulled him in to kiss me again.

Moving his cock inside me again, he thrust harder than ever as he pulled my legs to wrap around him. He came with a loud groan, and the wet heat of his cum filling me spurred my body into another orgasm.

Panting like wild animals on the hunt, we fought to regain our breath. His cock still lay inside of me; I’d never felt more connected to another person than I did just then with him inside of me like that. His dick, not nearly as hard as it had been, felt good inside my walls, which had been burning with the stretching they’d done to fit his girth and length.

Our breathing grew softer, and he pulled his head off my shoulder to look at me. “Hey, beautiful.” His lips pressed against my forehead. “At least you’ll never have to go through that again. From here on out, you’ll only feel pleasure when you do this.” He began to move his cock inside of me, and I could feel it pulsing back to a hard state. “It would be selfish of me to ask you not to let another man touch you, with where I’m heading, wouldn’t it?”

Blinking, I couldn’t quite figure out what he was saying. Did he want me? Like, long term?

“August, if you didn’t have to go, would you and I…” I didn’t know how to say the words and closed my eyes in frustration.

“I’d want to be with you if I didn’t have to go.” He kissed my cheek. “You’d be my girl if I could stay. I’d take you out on dates and take you to cheap motels where we’d screw like rabbits—if I didn’t have to go. Hell, one day we might even have gotten married and had a houseful of babies.”

“If you didn’t have to go,” I finished his thought.

“But I do have to go.” He began peppering my face with soft kisses as his cock got even harder and he started moving back and forth within me.

He was right about the pain being a thing of the past, as now his girth only served to excite me. The way he moved on top of me had me moaning and making odd little mewling sounds that I’d never made before. “I’ll never give what I’m giving you to another man. Not ever. I’m yours, August Harlow. Only yours. Take that promise with you, August.”

The smile that spread over his handsome face left me nearly breathless. “And I’m yours, Tawny Matthews. Always and forever.” His lips pressed against mine, sealing our little fake pact.

We both knew that it wasn’t real. Well, I knew he’d have sex with other women. But my words were real—I meant them at the time. I was his. Only his. There was no way I could imagine having sex with another man in that moment, or having it be this good with anyone else.

That night, August took me so many ways it boggled my mind. He’d left me with so many memories that I had enough to last me a lifetime. We made love in the shower, on the floor in the hallway—he couldn’t seem to keep his cock out of me…

With all the memories flooding my mind, I opened my eyes, feeling the need for a little self-love. Pulling the drawer on the nightstand open, I’d just reached inside to get my vibrator when a knock came at my door.

For the briefest of moments, I thought it might be August. But then a little voice called out, “Momma, I’m scared. Can I sleep with you?”

Ah, reality hit me once more. No self-love tonight, Tawny.

Chapter Five

August

After a video conference with my partners about the nightclub, I headed out of the conference room and into my office.

I’d gotten myself a suite of offices to work out of for the charities I gave to regularly. With myself and one other member to staff the place, I only needed three rooms: my office, Tammy’s, and the conference room. Tammy’s served as the lobby too.

“Tammy, you can leave after lunch today since it’s Friday,” I called out to her as I walked past her office.

“Thanks, sir,” she shouted back at me. The poor old thing was hard of hearing, but she was a wiz with research and helped me pick the best charities to give to.

As I took the seat at my desk, I spotted the date on the large calendar. It had been a solid week, seven whole days since I’d seen Tawny. She had taken up permanent space in my mind, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her all the time.

So, I called my sister up. “Happy Friday, August.”

“To you, too.” I tapped a pencil on the desktop. “So, it’s been a week, and Tawny Matthews is still on my mind. That said, are you free to babysit tonight?”

“I am,” she said, then paused. “I’ve been thinking, though.”

“About what?” I swiveled my chair around and looked out the window. The sky was a clear blue, telling me they had finally gotten the Big Bear fires put out.

“About your, um, uh…I guess you’d call it a condition.” She stopped, and I gritted my teeth.

“What about it?” My hand went right to my head, massaging my temples as tension filled it.

“Well, have you talked to your therapist about this? You know you haven’t dated since you were discharged. You might not do well with that kind of pressure.” She meant well, I knew that. But she didn’t understand.

“I’ve been with women since I’ve been back, Leila,” I corrected her.

“But you haven’t dated,” she attempted to correct me. “You’ve met women at bars and hooked up, but you haven’t tried to have a relationship with anyone. And you’ve probably already done a number on Tawny before, loving her, then leaving her.”

“Like I had a choice, Leila,” aggravation filled my voice. Tawny knew I’d had to go.

“Back then you didn’t. But now that you do, she’ll want more from you if you guys go out. She’d expect more this time around. You have to admit that to yourself. And you’re not exactly in a condition to be there for anyone yet,” my sister said gently, reminding me of my problems.

“I’ve only had three episodes in the last four months. That’s progress, considering I had one almost every day when I first came back.” Getting up, I headed to the window to look outside as I tried to hold onto my temper.

“You’ve only been in therapy for one year, August. Give yourself more time, man. Don’t push yourself to do too much too soon. A relationship takes work.”

I had to butt in, “Leila, a relationship, really? I’m talking about taking the girl to dinner, not asking her to marry me.”

She laughed a little. “Okay, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. I live in the future, you know that. Always thinking ahead. Dating isn’t like meeting a girl in a club, August. It’s not like fucking girls while you’re in the marines either. One date leads to another and another and more after that, then there’s just hanging out together, doing nothing at all. And then there’s her kid to think about.”

“And what about him?” I asked. She wasn’t making sense to me.

“Kids make sudden noises. Sudden noises have been known to set you off,” she said. “Just call your therapist before you ask her out. See what he thinks.”

“Fuck!” She was right. I had to think ahead. “I’ll call him now. Bye.”

“I love you, baby brother.” She hung up, and I pounded the wall with my fist.

Why can’t I just be normal?

Taking a seat at my desk again, I made the call to my therapist. His secretary patched me through to his personal cell since he wasn’t in the office. “Doctor Schmidt here.”

“Hey, Doc, it’s August.” My head began to pound; my mouth went dry.

“August, how are you doing?” his voice cracked. Age had taken a toll on the old therapist, who specialized in helping ex-military people deal with PTSD. The good doctor had served in Vietnam and knew all too well the perils of war and what goes along with them.

But even Dr. Schmidt hadn’t seen the kinds of things that people serving in this war had seen. But I had. Everything I’d been through during my deployment continued to clutter up my head, making me see things that weren’t there, people who were no longer here, but showed up in my brain anyway.

“I’m doing okay. I’m calling because a woman from my past has moved into town. I saw her last week and would like to take her out. She was my neighbor in the little town we grew up in. She’s got a young son, too. I think he might be mine,” I said, as I smiled at the thought.

I might have a son.

“Is the young lady unsure of who the father is?” he asked with concern.

“I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t know. We didn’t get to talk much. I ran into her at the Science Center; she was there for her son’s field trip. She had to get going, but I told her I’d like to take her out sometime and she agreed.”

“Oh, I don’t think you’re ready for a relationship, August,” he interrupted me. “You’re doing well, but that might put too much stress on you. I know I’ve cautioned you about your business dealings being too much for you, and for the most part they haven’t been. But a woman and a child, too? I’m afraid of what might happen. A grown woman might be able to handle one of your episodes, but a child…well, you’d scare a child if you had one in front of the poor thing.”

Even he thought I wasn’t ready. But why did everyone keep saying shit about a relationship? It was one damn date! “Okay, so a relationship is out for me right now. But how about one date, Doc?”

“You knew this girl from back home. You think you might be the father of her child, and you think this is about one date?” he asked me with a hard tone. “This isn’t about one date and you know it, or else you wouldn’t have called me. This is about getting involved with two people, her and her son. And that’s a thing you’re not ready for. Perhaps if you’d stayed on either of the medications I’ve prescribed for you, then you’d be ready for something like this. You’re the one who refuses to take medication to help your condition.”

“I didn’t like the way they made me feel. I don’t like to go through life feeling numb, Doc. And therapy is working for me. If you’ll recall, I’ve only had three episodes in the last four months. I’m getting a hell of a lot better.” Someone besides me had to see the fact that I was whipping this PTSD shit’s ass without the use of pills.

“Wait until after our usual appointment to ask this young woman out. That’s my opinion—the thing you called me to get, I’ll remind you. Goodbye, August, see you next Thursday.”

The call over, my doctor’s orders given, I put my phone down and dropped my head.

If I could do anything over again, it would be to make sure I didn’t lose my Glock on that raid that night. If I had never lost it, then I would’ve never been issued a new one. A faulty one. It wouldn’t have misfired, and it wouldn’t have left one of my good friends and fellow marines dead. Then I wouldn’t have this PTSD shit—or not quite as bad as I had it, anyway.

John Black, a good man and a friend, is the reason I received the millions of dollars that I then turned into billions. I’d won a lawsuit against the manufacturer of the gun that killed John, and walked the payout into an investment firm owned by my now partner, Gannon Forester. Gannon took the money and invested it in the same things he’d invested in.

All I wanted the money for in the first place was to keep John Black’s name alive. I might’ve accidentally killed the man, but by the Grace of God, I was able to make generous donations to charities around the world, helping people in his name.

I’d achieved my goal in that regard, but I had yet to reach my goal of being able to live a normal life as a civilian—to reach my goal of not being tortured by what happened that awful day. The attacks would always start out of nowhere; I’d be living my life as usual, and then I’d see John, clear as day. My heart would pound, thinking the same damn thing every time: he’s alive!

I’d smile at the man who looked healthy as a horse, the way he always had. I’d call out his name then something would flash, and the sound of a bullet ripping through the air would sizzle in my head. John’s face would become distorted, and then he’d get hit in the side of the head with the bullet that had exited my Glock all on its own.

Blood would pool around him as he lay on the floor, his blue eyes open still, looking at me, silently asking what I had done to him. And that’s when I’d begin screaming. Over and over, I’d scream his name and then I’d just scream until someone managed to drag me back to reality.

I wouldn’t wish that life on anyone. But I sure as hell wish it would just go the fuck away and leave me alone.

John Black couldn’t come back. The money I’d made went to helping others. I’d made sure that some positives would come out of that terrible moment. But my brain refused to let it go. My mind held that horrible memory in a steel cage. And when I least expected it, the cage would open, replaying the scene for me to experience in its entirety once more.

When would the pain end?

Chapter Six

Tawny

A week and a half passed with no call from August. Maybe he’d been too busy, or too involved with someone else to make the call. I had no idea, but I knew one thing for sure—I didn’t ever want to be a burden to the man, especially not after he’d served our country.

If he didn’t want to see me, then so be it. I’d dealt with worse scenarios before—I’d already handled the idea that I’d never get to lay eyes on him again, or that he’d never come back alive. I could learn to handle the fact that we lived in the same town, and that he knew that, but just didn’t want me.

That night we’d shared, the things we’d said to each other, it was all just a fantasy. Our emotions were heightened, and we were both living a dream, afraid of the future. None of it was real. Well, none of it on his part anyway.

The fact remained that I’d felt as if I belonged to August Harlow for a long time. A big piece of my heart had become his with our first touch. I wouldn’t say I’d pined for him after he left—not exactly—but a part of me had changed that night. He’d filled my dreams for years, and even in the more recent years, he’d sneak into them every now and then.

Lately, ever since I’d seen him again, he’d become all I could think about: about the scent of his hair and how it’d feel if I could run my hands through it again; about how his body would look now with nothing covering it.

I bet he’s got tats now.

What kinds of tattoos would I find covering his tanned flesh? What new and interesting things did he have to talk about or show me? Would that old chemistry still ignite the passion it had seven years ago?

I wanted nothing more than to get answers to all those questions and the many others that filled my mind. But I wasn’t going to get any answers because, for whatever reason, August chose not to call me. He chose not to take me out the way he’d said he wanted to at the Science Center. He chose to ignore me.

And I was going to let him. Because he didn’t owe me a thing.

After dropping Calum off at school, I headed to do a little shopping—window shopping, that is. I couldn’t afford a thing on Rodeo Drive, but it didn’t stop me from walking up and down the sidewalks to look at all the hip and trendy things displayed in the many windows.

A pretty red dress caught my eye. Being a redhead, whose favorite color also happened to be red, has proved to be difficult. The wrong shade of red looked terrible on me, but there were a handful of red items in my wardrobe that worked. The dress that had caught my eye was a design I loved, but the shade wouldn’t work on me.

The price tag peeked out from under the sleeve, and I saw a four-digit number there. Whistling, I walked away, knowing there was absolutely no reason to waste any thought on that expensive dress. I couldn’t afford that in my wildest dreams.

But I looked back longingly for a second anyway, and that’s when I ran into someone. “Shit! Sorry.”

“Hey!” came a surprised male voice that I instantly recognized.

“August!” This time I fought the urge to jump into his arms, but was happy to find him pulling me in for a hug. Once again, my feet left the ground as he picked me up, hugging me tightly.

My arms wrapped around his neck, and when his lips met my cheek, an inferno erupted inside of me.

Damn, I’m easy!

Putting me down, he looked into my eyes. “Tawny, I’m sorry I haven’t called.”

Even though I wanted to ask him why he hadn’t called, I just waved my hand in the air, as if waving the words away. “No, that’s okay. I mean, I’m sure you’ve been busy. Or maybe you just didn’t want to call. It’s not like you owe me anything. I understand.”

“No, it’s not like that.” He looked around then took me by the hand, pulling me along with him. “Let’s get some coffee and talk.”

We went into a café, the trendy 208 Rodeo Beverly Hills, where he ordered us a couple of cappuccinos, and then we took seats at an outside table.

“August, you don’t have to feel bad or try to explain anything to me,” I said before blowing across the top of my steaming cup.

“I want to, though.” He took my cup, setting it down before taking my hand and holding it on the tabletop. “I’ve only held off because of my condition.”

“Condition?” That threw me off. I couldn’t see a damn thing wrong with the man.

His eyes clouded, and his demeanor changed. “I have PTSD. I don’t talk about this with many people, but I want you to understand. When I was serving, a gun misfired, and I accidentally shot and killed one of my fellow marines. He was also my good friend. It’s done a number on my brain—that and the other things I’ve seen during my missions.”

My heart stopped. He’d gone through so much more than I ever would have guessed while serving our country. “Oh, God! I’m so sorry, August.”

He squeezed my hand. “Thanks, Tawny. It happened a few years ago, and I’m in therapy. I don’t get violent or anything like that, but sometimes I go into this state where…it can be pretty scary for the people around me.”

“I am a nurse, August. I’m accustomed to helping people deal with things like that.”

He laughed as he let my hand go, only to run his fingers over the back of it, making butterflies swirl around in my stomach. “I hadn’t thought about that, Tawny. I really hadn’t. I suppose you could handle me if an episode came on.”

I nodded, knowing I’d handled a lot of tough situations. I could definitely handle anything he had going on. “So, anything else stopping you from taking me out? My son perhaps?”

“No, just my condition. I don’t have an aversion to kids if that’s what you’re thinking.” One wink told me that was true.

An aversion to kids or not, I wasn’t the kind of mother who brought strange men around her kid. But there was one man I’d let Calum be around—if that man wanted and when the time was right. “That’s good to hear. That said, I’m picky about the men I bring around my son. I don’t think it’s healthy for a child.”

He didn’t seem put off by my words and even smiled. “I think that’s the sign of a pretty good mom. So, I can take you out, but the kid’s going to be left out of it?”

I nodded. “So, it’ll just be you and me on any date you’d care to take me on, August.”

He looked away and then back at me as he contemplated what I’d said. “I can handle that. For now.” He took my hand in his again and squeezed a bit. “I thought about you a lot while I was away. Your going away present was a thing I cherished. I still do. It was the best present I’ve ever gotten.”

A yearning filled me, a desire to tell him more, but I managed to stuff it away. “Oh, yeah?” With so little, the man set my senses on fire. It amazed me, how much he could affect me. No one else had ever come close to bringing out this side of me—and August could do it without even trying.

He nodded. “And that night is just about all I’ve thought about since I saw you ten days ago.”

“You’ve been counting the days?” I asked with surprise, and a little smile. I thought he hadn’t been thinking of me at all.

“I have. I was going to call you and take you out that very night we met, but my sister put me off the idea. She told me to wait a week and see if you were still on my mind, and you were. Then I called my therapist, and he told me I should wait a while longer before inserting myself into anyone’s life.”

I laughed. “One date doesn’t mean you’d be inserting yourself into my life.”

“I know.” He smiled sexily and pulled my hand up, kissing it. With just that kiss, wet heat pooled inside of me. “But I can think of at least one place that I would like to insert myself.”

My cheeks were hot, and my entire body flushed. “August!”

“I’ve missed you, Tawny. You’ve always held a place in my mind, and even my heart.” His words only served to affect me even more. I’d always thought he probably didn’t think much about me at all. I assumed he’d have other things on his mind, with what he was doing and all.

“We hardly knew each other. It doesn’t seem possible that one night of having sex…”

“Making love,” he corrected me, and then began kissing each one of my fingertips.

God help me, this man is going to make me have an orgasm right here by doing hardly a thing to me!

“Okay. Anyway, it doesn’t seem possible that we could form a bond so quickly. Not that we have a real bond, but you know what I mean. I’ve missed you, too. I’ve thought a lot about you, too. Even more so once we ran into each other after so many years.” I sucked in my breath as he leveled his eyes on mine.

Those hazel eyes took on an intensity that made me squirm in my seat. “Seven very long years. And now that I’ve gotten to sit and talk to you, I know I want more. Screw what my therapist said. I forgot to tell him that you’re a highly trained nurse, and that you’re more than capable of dealing with me if an episode occurs. So how about tonight? Wanna go out with me?”

“I’d love to.” But then reality hit me, and I groaned, “Ugh. I’ve got to find a sitter. Crap.”

“My sister would love to watch Calum for you,” came his quick response.

“You think she would?” My heart skipped a beat at the knowledge that he’d remembered my son’s name.

With a nod, he answered, “I know she would. She’s got six kids. They’re all older now, and she misses having little kids around.”

I remembered his sister. She was a down-to-earth young woman; I bet she’d be even more settled now. And with six kids of her own, she had to know what she was doing in that department. “Well, if she doesn’t mind, then I guess we have a date.”

“Looks like we do.”

Well, I wonder just how long this date will last before he and I topple into bed together. I’m thinking a half hour, tops.

Chapter Seven

August

I’d sent my driver to pick up Tawny and her son to take them to my sister’s, understanding Tawny’s desire to keep the men she dates away from Calum. My driver then returned Tawny back to her place so that she could get ready for our date, which I was getting increasingly excited for as time ticked by.

I’d gotten us a table at a restaurant that usually took reservations three months in advance. Money talks in this city, and when I offered to make a very generous donation to the chef’s favorite charity, he was quick to give me two seats in his limited-seating establishment.

I had every intention of showing Tawny a very good time—a better time than anyone else could give her.

What my sister had said to me earlier curled around my brain. I had taken the girl’s virginity and given her nothing in return. Sure, we’d both had an amazing time, and our night had left her with some great memories, but I hadn’t given her anything else.

We’d exchanged a few promises that night, promises that veered dangerously close to faithfulness. Of course, I was just talking, the way men sometimes do. I remember telling her that if I hadn’t had to leave her that she’d be my girl. I’d meant that, yet when I came back I didn’t even try to find her.

My parents had moved shortly after I took off for the military. I had no idea if Tawny or her family still lived in the house next to my parents’ old place. But I could’ve made some calls or even taken a drive through our old neighborhood to find out. The fact was, I hadn’t even tried. And that seemed odd to me, because Tawny had been a part of so many of my dreams and fantasies through the years—before and after we’d had sex. But life just hadn’t seemed to send me her way—until the day at the Science Center. And then again on Rodeo Drive.

Forces seemed to be throwing us in each other’s paths now. Who was I to fight unseen forces?

I’d told my sister about the date, of course, as she had to babysit. She seemed to understand why I’d gone against the advice of my therapist but cautioned me, telling me to let Tawny in on my tells, the things that I did before the onslaught of an episode. And she told me to call my therapist to let him know what I was doing as well.

That conversation was a bit tenser than I cared for. Doctor Schmidt had major concerns about Calum. Even though I’d assured him that the boy wasn’t going to be around me, he said that he might be eventually, and that worried him.

His concern for the welfare of Calum was unfounded in my opinion. Tawny hadn’t told me the boy was mine, so there was absolutely no reason for me to get to know him. I could have a thing with Tawny without the boy being involved at all.

It might sound callous to some, but Tawny and I had some unfinished business to attend to. One night with her had never been enough for me. I’d fucked many a woman in the last seven years, thinking of Tawny on more than one occasion. I needed to feel her body underneath mine again. Craved it at times. Especially since seeing her again.

My driver stopped in front of her apartment, and I walked up to her door to get her. After only one knock, she was opening the door and there stood a vision of perfection. I felt my jaw drop.

“You…” I looked her up and down, and my breathing stopped as I took her all in. Her long red waves had been tamed into one silky-straight sheet of shiny hair. Tawny’s hair wasn’t copper red, but more on the auburn side, with copper strands throughout that made it shine. Her green eyes popped, her makeup perfectly applied to accentuate them. It was a toss-up as to whether I found her hair or her eyes more attractive. “You look amazing.”

Her green dress hit her just above her knees, hugging her curves. It had a deep plunging neckline that exposed her generous breasts in such a way that was daring, sexy, and absolutely fascinating. I could look at those babies all night. Or rather, I could suck those babies all night.

Sweet Jesus, I hope she lets me fuck her!

Images of taking her sweet ass in the back of my town car had already begun to flitter through my mind. Tawny on her knees, that emerald green dress pushed up to expose her ass—an ass that had become even rounder and plumper than when I’d last touched it. My cock had gone stiff just thinking about it.

Tawny’s hand moved over my shoulder. “These suits you wear make you look so handsome, August. You don’t look much like the young man I knew back then. You’re much more sophisticated. And you have your own driver, too. Thank you for sending him to take Calum and me to your sister’s by the way. That was very nice of you.”

My eyes were glued to hers. “It was nothing, really. Was Calum okay with you leaving him with Leila and her brood of children?”

She shook her head, making me frown for a moment before she smiled. “No need to frown. He loved her and all the children. She does have a houseful, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, she does.” I took her hand, leading her to the waiting car. “I’m glad he liked them all.”

“He told me I could leave, and that he’d be fine with Aunt Leila. Your sister introduced herself to him as that. I hope you don’t mind.” She looked back at me as I opened the car door for her.

All I could do was smile. “Of course, I don’t mind that.” It was a little shocking how much I didn’t mind—how much I was hoping that might be the case in truth.

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. It just occurred to me that you might think that was a bit forward.”

“Nah.” I slid in after her, making sure to stay close. Any bit of contact I could get with her did things to me that I’d never experienced with anyone else—whether it was her hand on my shoulder or my thigh pressed tightly to hers as we sat side by side. “So, I’ve scored us a couple of seats at Maude this evening.”

“Maude?” She looked enthused. “August, that’s like impossible to get into. How’d you manage that? Oh, wait. You must’ve had reservations already, didn’t you? I heard you have to make them three months in advance.”

“No, I didn’t have reservations. I just did a little wheeling and dealing is all.” I took her hand, kissing the top of it before trailing my lips up her arm until they met hers.

My heart beat like a base drum as I kissed her softly, not wanting to rush, only wanting to take my time, tasting her in the way I’d dreamt about doing for years.

Our chests were heaving when our mouths parted. The kiss hadn’t gone beyond just lips touching lips, yet it had affected us in a way that neither of us had expected, judging by the dazed look in her eyes.

“I’ll take it slow tonight, Tawny. I won’t rush a thing. There’s no reason to now. I’m not going anywhere.” Her hand felt so good in mine as I ran my hand down her arm to grasp it.

She blinked a few times. “I think I’d like that. Nice and slow. We haven’t done nice and slow, have we?”

“No, we did it hard and fast, if I recall that night correctly.” My fingertip ran over her bronze-tinted lips. “Hard and fast was good, but I think long and slow will be even better.”

“I agree wholeheartedly.” She leaned her head on my shoulder. The smell of her hair captivated me.

“Lemons and honey,” I commented as I took a long sniff.

She looked up with a questioning gaze. “What?”

“Your hair. It smells like lemons and honey. That night, it smelled like strawberries.” The smile she gave me hit me like a fist to my heart.

“You remember that?” She blushed, and I loved how I’d already made her do that. I was yearning to see her entire body flush with that same color. Plans for later that night were already beginning to form in my head.

Dinner, a bit of dancing, then back to her place to get horizontal once again. The way my cock pulsed had me wondering if we’d be able to get through all the courses that night before giving the chemistry between us what it demanded.

Chapter Eight

Tawny

The date went far past any expectations I’d had. Dinner at a restaurant that defied imagination: small, quiet, and phenomenal food. Later, August held me in his arms as we swayed to soft music. Soft kisses placed on random areas of my head then down my neck, leaving my legs feeling like jelly.

The man had me, and he knew it. What he’d do with me was still a question that needed to be answered. We’d gotten back into the backseat of his car, the driver taking us to his place. A surge of disappointment traveled through me when I found out he’d be getting out there, leaving me alone so his driver could take me to pick up Calum before dropping me home.

My thighs clenched as he told me the plan.

No sex?

I bit my lower lip, unsure of how to tell him that I wanted more. “Um, August, you don’t have to go to all that trouble. I can take my car and run by your sister’s to pick Calum up. It’s not a problem at all. And you could maybe come in for a little…um, what do they call those things?” I searched my memory and found an old Love Boat episode locked away. “Oh, yeah. Nightcap.”

“A drink?” he asked, his fingertip moving along my jawline.

“Sure, a drink.” My body sizzled at his soft touch. I’d been on fire for hours, and I needed the flame doused. Only August had the magic elixir to do that.

“I don’t want you to have to do any driving after even one drink.” He leaned in close, trailing kisses along my collarbone.

So, I had to come up with another idea, and I did so quite quickly. “Ride with me then. Stay with me while we go get Calum.”

“But you said you don’t like to introduce men to your son, Tawny.” His lips moved up my neck. When his hands took my wrists, holding my arms to my sides, I almost begged him to take me right then and there.

“I don’t. I haven’t.” My breathing became sporadic as he nibbled my earlobe then blew warm breath into my ear. It reminded me of the way he’d given me oral sex that night so many years ago, how he blew on my sex before eating me until I came, screaming his name over and over.

God, I want to feel that again!

“I don’t want to make you do anything that would make you uncomfortable,” he whispered as he moved those soft lips all around my ear, then licked the spot just behind it.

I’d already been wet for him, but with that sensation, I gushed. “Oh, August!” I gasped. “Please, just ride with me to get him. I don’t care about my old rules. I won’t feel uncomfortable.”

“Well, if you’re really sure, then your wish is my command, Princess.” He pulled his mouth off me then pressed a button. “Max, change of plans. Go to my sister’s first, please.”

“Yes, sir,” came the driver’s answer.

Then hazel eyes sparkling with desire leveled on my breasts before moving up to meet my eyes. “Hmm, since your son will be here when I drop you off at your place, we’ll miss our goodnight kiss.”

I couldn’t breathe or even think straight. So, a nod was all I could muster as I saw that look in his eyes. The one that told me without a doubt that he wanted me.

His lips quirked up to one side. “So, we should probably do the goodnight kiss now, before we pick him up. I don’t want to miss out on the best part of the night. Do you?”

All I could do was shake my head. He’d rendered me speechless.

When he got off the seat to get on his knees in front of me, I began to shake with anticipation. His hands moved up my legs, bunching the bottom of my dress as he pushed it up until my panties were exposed. One warm hand moved over my pulsating pussy then he looked up at me, licking his lips.

With a nod, I gave him the go-ahead then leaned my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. Pushing the silky fabric of the panties to one side, he blew hot breath over my sex before kissing it with more soft kisses.

My hands fisted at my sides as he ran his tongue through my folds then tapped my clit with it. Over and over, he tormented me. I wanted that tongue thrusting into my cunt, hard and fast.

As if reading my mind, August flattened his tongue, licking the opening that craved feeling any part of him inside of it. When he pushed his tongue into me, he made a deep guttural groan that sent shivers through my body, only adding to the sensations that came from the actual penetration.

The way his hands gripped my hips reminded me of that night, and I moaned with the new memories I’d now have of this man. “August,” I growled as I couldn’t stop myself from running my hands through his hair, messing it up.

He ate me as if he were a starving man. But he’d eaten plenty that night—his hunger now was only for me. Within minutes, a wave built inside of me, crashing and taking me to new heights. I bit my bottom lip to stop a scream of pure pleasure from erupting, letting the driver know exactly what we were doing behind the dark glass that separated us from him.

August panted as he raised his head. “Fuck, you still taste like heaven, baby.”

I hadn’t even caught my breath before his mouth was on mine. His tongue pushed through my lips, and I tasted my juices on him. With a swift movement, he sat on the bench seat and pulled me to sit on his lap, facing him. My crotch to his, his cock as hard as a rock between us.

My body ached for him as we kissed, and I moved over his fabric-covered cock, yearning to set it free. But as I moved my hands to do just that, he grabbed my wrists, stopping me. His mouth left mine, moving up my neck until his lips were on my ear. “Not this way.”

“August, please,” I begged quietly.

“No, not this way.” He pulled his head back to look at me, fire in his eyes, telling me he wanted it just as bad as I did. “No, Tawny. I want you to feel special. I owe you that.”

“You don’t owe me a thing, August.” I moved my body seductively over his swollen appendage, which I needed to be inside of me.

The fire in his eyes flickered before going out, quickly replaced by concern. He let my wrists go to run his hands up my arms, and then took my face in them. “I owe you more than you know. Your face filled my head almost nonstop those first years. And every single time things got hard for me, you were there, Tawny Matthews. I made love to you, then left you. I took your innocence, then walked away. I could’ve called, wrote, or gotten in touch with you somehow. I didn’t do any of those things. I thought you deserved to move on with your life—find a real man to love you. A man who’d be there for you in a way I couldn’t.”

“Stop,” I whispered. My hands moved up his muscled back. “I never wanted more from you than what you gave me.”

“You didn’t want me to be yours, Tawny?” He smiled that crooked smile that I’d always adored.

“I did. But I knew what you were doing was far more important than staying around Sebastopol to be with me. So, I took the memory of that night and kept it close, knowing that I’d given you something you could take with you too. And that’s been enough for me throughout these last seven years.” I kissed his cheek. “But I have to be honest with you.”

“Please, always be honest with me, baby.” His lips touched mine again. Then he pulled them away, looking at me.

“I think it’s sweet that you feel that way, and frankly, it surprises me. You’re quite the romantic now, August. I like that.”

He moved me off his lap, fixing my dress as I ran my hands through his hair, putting it back in the style he’d had it in, slicked to one side, looking handsome as hell. The way he kept his beard meticulously groomed pleased me to no end, too.

My pussy still tingled from the way he had pleasured me. I figured it might tingle all night long. It would’ve been great to have August in my bed that night; there could be no denying that. But somehow, waiting made more sense this time.

Before there had been no chance of a relationship between us, and now there was. Rushing things wasn’t necessary. But I wanted some things to be rushed. I wanted to feel that powerful man between my legs.

August had been a young man when we’d first had sex. His body had been great back then. Now, he was all grown up, and his body was ripped beyond my wildest imagination: his thighs, thick as tree trunks; his biceps larger than before—and they’d been big before.

I’d matured, too. My breasts and hips had become round with my pregnancy, and they never went back to their previous state. My body wanted to know what his body felt like. But I’d let August take the lead. I’d let him go as slow as he wanted to.

Pleasing him made me happy—happier than I’d been in a long time.

August Harlow was back in my life, and my goal was to keep him there.

Chapter Nine

August

The date had gone even better than I’d imagined—and I’d had high hopes to begin with—although it’d been hard as hell not to have sex with Tawny. But I wanted things to progress nice and slow. Sex right off the bat would feel too similar to the first time—like we were rushing out of desperation. I wanted things to be different this time around.

Sitting at home, I wasn’t doing a thing but looking out my bedroom window. The wildfires that burned around Southern California were always a concern to me. Thankfully, there was no threat to Hidden Hills, and the smoke steered clear of us.

My thoughts went to Tawny and Calum. The garage apartment she rented was in West Hollywood. She’d told me that a woman who worked in the human resources department at Cedars owned the home there. She’d offered Tawny the small two-bedroom, one bath for the low rate of fifteen hundred a month, and that included the utility bills, too. In West Hollywood, rent that low was unheard of. That told me Tawny was in high demand.

I had no right to feel pride in her accomplishments, but I did just the same. Tawny had made something of herself, despite having Calum at the young age of nineteen.

Thinking about Calum made me remember the ride from Leila’s to their place the night before. He’d been very talkative, chattering away about how much fun he’d had that night.

“I had so much fun, Momma,” he’d said as soon as he climbed into the car. “Aunt Leila is the funnest person ever!”

My sister could be pretty fun. Especially with little kids. She’d play chase with them, hide and seek—you name it, she’d play it.

“Tell me what you guys did, Calum,” Tawny told him, her face glowing with delight that he’d had such a good time.

“I played a game called hopscotch. It was real fun. And um, his name’s, um…”

“Gino,” I offered. Leila had a lot of kids; chances are Calum couldn’t remember every one of their names.

“No, not that man.” Calum tapped his finger to his chin as he thought.

The fact that he’d called Gino, a sixteen-year-old, a man had me laughing. “Raphael or Jacob,” I added to the list he could choose from.

“Yes!” he shouted as if he’d made a wonderful discovery. “Jacob! He taught me how to play that game. Then we went inside when it got dark, and I played checkers with Aunt Leila.” His hazel eyes went huge as he gasped. “And I won!”

“Great job, Calum,” Tawny congratulated him with a high five.

“I know, I’m very good at that game.” His grin made me chuckle again. He was adorable.

The way Calum had gone on and on reminded me of my nieces and nephews when they were little kids. They all had endless amounts of things to say.

An idea crept into my head. If Tawny had let me be around him last night, letting him know we’d gone out on a date, would she let him come along on a date?

I’d sent her flowers that morning, having them delivered along with a box of candy and a stuffed tiger for Calum. She’d yet to call or text me that she’d gotten them. I was sure she’d do that once she received them.

When she contacted me, I wanted to ask her out again and include Calum if she’d let me. The boy interested me—I couldn’t shake the feeling that he might be mine. I did know for certain that I wanted to spend more time with him, to try and find out—regardless of how long this thing between Tawny and I lasted.

If Calum was mine, why hadn’t Tawny told me as much? Why would she keep that a secret from me?

I shook my head. She’d never do that. He had to be some other man’s. Tawny would’ve told me by now if he was mine.

Wouldn’t she have?

More than once she’d said that I didn’t owe her anything. Tawny acted as if my being in the marines was all I ever needed to do for her. Like that act alone was enough to give me a free pass for anything.

I didn’t want her to sell herself short or, God forbid, a child that might be mine, just because I’d served our country for a while. Would she do that to her own son? Would she deny him his father only to keep that burden off my shoulders? And had my telling her that I had PTSD affected things?

Maybe she’d been planning to tell me about Calum, but then I’d told her about my condition, and she decided not to. Maybe she felt she needed to protect the boy from me. At least for a while, until she could see how my episodes went.

There were so many questions I wanted to ask her, but I didn’t know how to do so without being presumptuous. This thing between us was so new still, and I didn’t want to scare her off by prying or asking too much of her before she was ready to share. In my experience, women didn’t like it when men asked too many questions about the men they’d been with in the past, at least not so early on.

My phone dinged, telling me a text had come in. Tawny had gotten the flowers and wanted to know if I was too busy for her to call me. I called her right away, and her sweet voice answered, “Hello, August. What a sweet thing to do. The flowers are gorgeous. Peonies are my favorite. And the chocolates are to die for. Calum will love the stuffed tiger, too. Thank you so much.”

“It was nothing. I just wanted you to know that I had a good time.” I drummed my fingers on the dresser as I leaned against it, still looking out the window. “How’s West Hollywood looking today? Fires smoking you guys out yet?”

“No, it’s clear today. There’s a little breeze—I suppose it’s keeping the smoke away for now anyway.” I heard her walking around, her shoes clicking as she did.

The way I missed her didn’t make sense to me. She and I didn’t know each other well at all. I had no idea what kinds of things she liked or disliked, no idea what her favorite color was or what food she liked the best. “Wanna get some lunch?”

“I’d love to, but I’ve got to go to the hospital to fill out insurance papers today. They called me a little while ago and asked me to stop by around one.”

The real question I wanted to ask her kind of hung in my throat. But then I went for it. “What do you think about taking a trip to the San Diego Zoo tomorrow, since it’s Saturday and Calum won’t have school?”

“He’d love that!” she sounded excited.

But all I could think about was that she’d said she didn’t take him around men. So why was it okay for him to be around me?

“You sure about that, Tawny? I know he was with us last night for a little, but I don’t want you to change all your rules if you don’t want to.” I crossed my bedroom to take a seat on the bed. Running my hand over the chocolate brown comforter, I made a mental note to get my housekeeper to put the emerald green one on. Tawny’s auburn hair would look fantastic splayed out against it. And I did mean to get the woman into my bed in the near future. I just wanted to lay the groundwork first.

“Well, you’re different,” she said, making me think she might be on the verge of a confession.

“How’s that?” I asked as I leaned back on the pillows, wondering how I’d respond if she told me I was his father. It was one thing to speculate about it, but the reality would be much different.

“Well, he likes you. And he adores your sister. All the way to school today he talked about her and her kids. He can hardly remember their names, but he definitely knows your name and your sister’s.”

“I’d like to get to know him, if that’s okay with you, baby. I want to get to know you, too. I mean, I know the basics, and I know the intimates, but the real you—well, I don’t know that woman yet. I’d like to get to that if that’s okay with you.” The soft blanket brought to mind how soft her hair was when I ran my hands through it.

“Let’s see…my favorite color is red like my hair. I know that sounds like I’m a little too into my own looks, but I just love the color. I’d wear it every day if I could, but it has to be the right shade to look good on me or else it clashes. I don’t even decorate with that color. I have to simply be satisfied to like it, but not use too much of it.”

“Mine’s green. Like the color or your eyes.” I closed mine to picture her eyes, how they’d shine for no reason at all. She was just that happy person who always had a sparkle in her eye—the kind of person that people liked to be around.

“Hmm, really? Or is that a line?” she asked with a knowing tone in her voice.

“No, it’s not a line. Green really is my favorite color. And I love Mexican food, how about you?” Taking about these small things was so much easier over the phone—when she was around all I wanted to do was kiss her and touch her. It’d take forever for us to get to these details about each other if we were face-to-face.

“Chinese is my favorite, but I like Mexican. But only authentic Mexican, not like Taco Hell,” she laughed lightly, and the sound captivated me.

“What made you become a nurse, Tawny?” I asked, as that seemed like a thing a boyfriend should know about his girlfriend.

Hold up! You’ve got to take things slow.

Between this thing with Tawny and me and my compulsive desire to spend more time with Calum, I knew I was getting wrapped up in this woman too quickly. Despite that, I knew one thing for sure—my therapist was right about me needing to take things slowly.

“I became a nurse after having my son. And I wanted to specialize in pediatrics. You see, Calum was born with a small hernia. It had to be operated on right away, it was that bad. The nurses helped me when I started crying and freaking out that my newborn had to go straight into surgery.”

My heart sped up. “God, Tawny. Were your parents there?” I felt terrible for her.

“No, they’d gone out of town. Calum came two weeks early. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that I had to go through that alone. It’s just the way it happened. Anyway, the nurses stepped up and helped me through everything. I had to stay a week in the hospital, and they taught me how to take care of Calum. So, it was a godsend that my parents weren’t around, because Calum and I bonded right away, thanks to the nurses who helped me.” Though the story was a sad and scary one, Tawny told it with an upbeat attitude.

The girl was amazing.

Despite her perseverance and easy reflection, I felt like a complete dick while listening to her story. Because I knew one person whose fault it was that she’d had to go through all that alone—the father’s.

Whoever that might be.

Chapter Ten

Tawny

The sun warmed the cool early December air as we strolled through the zoo. Well, August and I strolled while Calum mostly ran, beating us to each exhibit.

Calum was about to careen around a corner out of our line of sight. August quickly called out, “Hey, buddy, stay where we can see ya’.”

To my surprise, Calum slammed on the brakes. “Yes, sir.” He was all smiles as he waited for us to catch up before turning the corner.

“Wow. If I’d said that, he’d have ignored me, and I’d be running after him.” I looped my arm through his, leaning my head on his shoulder. “And I’ve never heard him say ‘yes, sir,’ to anyone before.”

“He asked me a question earlier, and I said ‘yes, sir’ to him. I guess he picked it up.” August kissed the top of my head. “I can be a good influence when I try hard enough.”

“I like it when you’re a bad influence, too. Only on me, though.” August had been a perfect gentleman with me since the moment he’d picked us up. He drove himself in a new Mercedes, saying we might just stay the night in San Diego if it got too late.

I’d been about to run back inside to pack us an overnight bag just in case when he told me not to bother. He’d casually said that if we did end up staying, he’d buy us whatever we’d need—as if that was normal.

I hadn’t mustered up the courage to ask him just how much he was worth. I knew it had to be a lot. I didn’t know how he made his money either. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with wanting to know what he did to make a living. “Would it be rude of me to ask you what it is you do to earn this vast amount of money you seem to have, August?”

He stopped walking, looking into my eyes. “Can I tell you about that another time, Tawny? I will tell you, but now’s not a good time to do that.”

Clueless as to why he couldn’t talk about it at that moment, I wondered what the hell he did for a living that made him say such a thing. Was he a spy? Did he work for the CIA or the FBI? Did those people make as much money as it seemed he had? “’Kay.” My eyes turned away from his as my mind went crazy with all the questions.

August pointed out ahead of us, directing Calum’s attention to something he was sure to love. “Is that an arcade, Calum?”

My son shot toward the open area, which was covered by a red and white circus-like tent. “Oh, yeah!”

“He’s going to beggar us in there, August,” I warned him. “And getting him out of there won’t be easy either.”

“I can take it,” he said with a chuckle.

But as we entered the area, with games making loud sounds everywhere—including the sounds of gunfire and explosions—I grew worried. “August, are you sure you’re okay with this?”

He knew I referred to his PTSD and nodded. “It’s okay. I’ve conquered the loud noises triggering an episode.”

So, if those no longer set him off, what did?

Standing back, I watched as August and Calum climbed onto a couple of motorcycles to have a virtual race, August obviously letting Calum win. “Aw, man. You beat me,” August whined to Calum. Then he pointed to some fishing game across the room. “Hey, wanna see who can catch the biggest fish, Calum?”

“Yes, sir!” Calum was off the bike, running top speed, or as fast as one little boy can go through a crowd of kids. And August was hot on his heels, having just as much fun as my little boy.

As I watched them go from one game to another, my heart pounded in my chest. August and his sister were great with Calum. Maybe it was time I was more honest with all three of them.

Maybe I would be, but not at this moment. This wasn’t the time or the place, but soon. Maybe even later, after we left the zoo.

My mind grew more and more determined as the day went on. When August grabbed Calum up, putting him on his shoulders so he could see an elusive bear who’d hidden itself in its cave, I nearly cried.

They’d barely known each other from Adam when the day started, having only spent a spot of time together in the car on the way home the other night. But there they were, acting as if they’d always known one another.

When we went to find something to eat, both of them ordered a cheeseburger, plain and dry with a side of onion rings and an orange soda. The way they laughed after saying the same thing had me tearing up.

“Jinx, you owe me a Coke,” August said after they’d said the same words at the same time.

“What does that mean?” Calum asked him with a crooked smile.

August wore a very similar smile as he explained the little saying, and then they both laughed. The sounds of August’s deep tones mixed with the high tones of my son sent chills through me.

The day hadn’t gotten away from us, and we left with plenty of time to get back home to Los Angeles. The car ride was quiet as Calum had fallen asleep, completely worn out.

August took hold of my hand, pulling it up to kiss as he drove along the highway. “Thanks for today. I’ve never had that much fun in my entire life.”

Raising one eyebrow, I gave him a questioning look. “Oh, really?”

“I mean, in that kind of way. Of course, I’ve had a few great times with you, baby.” He took my hand, resting it on top of his thigh.

“Thanks,” I said with sarcasm. “And thank you for taking us on this little outing. It did wonders for me as well,” I told him, referring in secret to my new thoughts on what I should do. I thought about when the time would be right for what I’d planned. “You should stay for dinner at my place tonight. I can whip up some pasta.”

“Or you two could come to my place, and I could have Tara whip us up something,” he said as his lips grazed the back of my hand, sending chills all through me.

His place?

It was very tempting to be able to see how the man lived—to learn that much more about him. “And Tara is your…”

“Chef.” He smiled at me with that crooked grin. “And Denise is the head housekeeper. Max is my driver, and Joel is the groundskeeper. There are a couple of younger girls who come in with Denise twice a week to do the deep cleaning. To be honest, I don’t know their names.”

“And you live where, exactly?” I had to ask. With a staff that size, it had to be somewhere glamorous.

“Hidden Hills,” he said as he glanced at me, catching my mouth hanging open.

“No! Did you know that Kim Kardashian lives there?” I was flabbergasted.

“Well, yeah, she and Kanye only live two houses from mine.” He shrugged to accent how typical that was.

“Get out! No way!” My mind could only form two words at a time. Then I had to ask again, “So, what is it that you do, August?”

“Well, at the moment, I’m working with a couple of other men to open an incredibly exclusive nightclub, catering to only the wealthiest of people. We’ve named it Swank—it’s due to open on New Year’s Eve. I haven’t asked you yet, but I can now. Will you please be my date for that, Tawny?”

“So, you’re some kind of a nightclub mogul? And my answer is yes, I’d love to be your date for that.” I wondered how the hell a former marine had gotten into that.

“Yeah, on top of other things. My fingers are in a lot of pies, so to speak.” Traffic slowed to a stop, and I found August looking out the window at the passengers in the car next to him.

“You’ll have to fill me in on all the pies eventually,” I said as I watched him.

I realized that he hadn’t heard a word I said, transfixed as he was by the people in the car beside us. Too many seconds ticked by with him motionless, then I finally heard him whisper, “John?”

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, like the calm before an explosion. One second August was fine, and the next, the name ‘John’ pealed out of his mouth in short bursts that changed to high pitched screams.

To make matters worse, his screaming woke up Calum, who began to cry, “What’s wrong with him, Momma?”

Taking off my seatbelt, I got on my knees in my seat and reached over, jerking on August’s shoulders to draw him out of the episode. “It’s okay, honey,” I said calmly, trying to get things under control. “August, it’s okay, babe. It’s not real.”

“Momma!” Calum shouted as he cried hysterically. “Momma, make him stop!”

Looking at my son, I said firmly, “I need you to stop crying, Calum. August is having a hard time. You have to be quiet now. Right now.” Being so strict with my frightened son wasn’t an easy thing to do, but it was done, and thankfully, Calum’s loud cries became soft whimpers.

Turning my attention back to August, I climbed over the console that separated us, landing sideways on his lap and putting the car into park. “August, it’s okay. It’s me, Tawny. Everything is okay. What you’re seeing isn’t really happening right now. You’re fine. Everyone is fine.”

With a loud gasp, August’s eyes finally blinked, and his screaming stopped. “Oh, God!” he grabbed my wrists as I held his face between my hands. “God…” He took deep, heaving breaths as he slowly came back to reality. “Tawny, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay now.” I stroked his face and his hair for a few moments as he continued to calm down. “I’ll drive.”

He nodded, and we both got out of the car as the people in the traffic all around us watched with gaping jaws. I saw my son’s red-rimmed eyes as he watched August walk around the front of the car, getting in the passenger side—the side Calum had been sitting behind.

My son took off his seat belt with frightened eyes, sliding to the seat behind the driver’s side. My heart broke at the sight. All of the trust that August had built with Calum had just been destroyed in a matter of minutes.

Who knew how long it would take to get that back?

Chapter Eleven

August

My episode had spoiled the rest of that night. After stopping at Tawny’s place to drop them off, I drove myself home. A smell of smoke hung in the air even though no flames were in sight. It troubled me as I headed into my home.

Joel, the groundskeeper, was inside talking to Tara, my chef. I was pretty sure the two liked one another, but they seemed to be taking things slow—maybe due to the fact they were both approaching sixty. But their progress was really slow, like hurry-up-before-one-of-you-guys-dies slow. But I kept that to myself. It wasn’t my business, after all.

I did ask them about the smoke though, “Did you guys smell that smoke out there? Is there a fire near here that I don’t know about?”

“No, boss. I guess the winds have picked up around the current fires out in Angeles National Forest. They’re calling them the Creek Fires. Nothing to worry about here, sir,” Joel answered.

“Cool,” I said with relief. “I’m heading to bed. It’s been a long day.”

Sleep proved hard to achieve that night. After an hour of trying, I called Tawny. “Hi, August. You get home okay?”

“I did. Are you and Calum okay?” I put my hand over my eyes, wishing that the incident had never happened.

“I’m fine. I told you I could handle that,” she said, then paused.

“Calum’s not, is he?” I asked, but I didn’t have to—I knew I’d upset the boy.

“Well, he’s young, August. You’ve got to understand.” She sighed, and I hated to hear that.

“I do understand. Believe me, I do. I just keep wishing I could go back in time and figure out what the hell triggered that episode.” As hard as I could, I tried to figure out what had caused it, but like many times before, I couldn’t.

It was crazy; I had determined that loud noises could trigger one type of episode, one where I saw myself in battle with my fellow marines and where people I’d worked with for years were killed. Once I realized that specific catalyst, those kinds of episodes came less frequently until they finally stopped. But I still hadn’t been able to figure out what the trigger was for the episodes reliving those moments with John Black.

“I think it might’ve been because I was asking you about your job and how you got your money,” Tawny offered. “When I asked you about that at the zoo, you told me that you’d tell me later, that that wasn’t the place. Since you’re home now and safe, why don’t you tell me about it now? It might help.”

She might’ve been on the right track. So, I began my tale, “I told you about the accident with John Black, but I didn’t tell you that I sued the manufacturer of that gun and won millions. The first thing I did was look for an investment firm to help me grow that money. All I wanted to do was keep John’s name alive. I wanted to make as much money as I could from the settlement money so that I could make donations to charities in his name.”

“So, you found a firm that helped you reach that goal?” she asked.

“I did. I met Gannon Forester at the first firm I went to. He’s one of my business partners now. He put the whole settlement into the same investments and ventures he’d had a ton of his money in. He made me a billionaire and helped me see my dream come true. And now I live off part of that money and invest other parts of it, all the while giving chunks to different charities each month.” I felt better about telling Tawny about this. A weight lifted off my shoulders once I realized that it must have been the line of conversation that triggered that particular episode.

For a while Tawny was quiet, and then she said, “What a weight you must carry around, August. My God.”

Did I carry a lot of weight around? I hadn’t realized that. “I don’t feel burdened by it, Tawny.”

“You may not feel it, but you hold yourself solely responsible for making sure that man’s name is kept alive. And you’ve gone to such lengths to do that, too. Going to court, suing a huge weapons-manufacturing company, winning, and then turning that money into an even bigger fortune—that’s not nothing. And you’re still not done—finding the right charities every month, that’s got to be difficult. That’s a lot to do for someone who isn’t even walking the earth anymore.”

“But he’s not here because of me,” I reminded her.

“No, he’s not here because of the malfunction of the weapon, not because of you, August.” She tapped her nails on something, and I could hear it through the phone. “If it had been your fault, then you would’ve never won that case against the manufacturer. You are not to blame for what happened to John Black, and you need to let go of that guilt. You’ve devoted your entire life to him since the accident—how do you expect to move on from that horror when it’s always lurking there at the edge of everything you do? I’m not saying stop what you’re doing—giving money to charities is a wonderful thing to do. But let the guilt go.”

Her words were making my heart do flips inside my chest. Tears welled up in my eyes. In the year that I’d been seeing Dr. Schmidt, he’d told me a number of times that I needed to reconcile my guilt with the event, but he’d never hit on that as a trigger for my episodes. And he’d never quite gotten to the core of the issue as Tawny had—never gotten me to realize the immensity of the burden I carried, however subconsciously.

Tawny had done that in record time. “You’re an amazing woman, Tawny Matthews.”

“And you’re an amazing man, August Harlow. I think we make a pretty great couple, don’t you?” she asked with a sexy lilt to her voice.

Pushing my hand through my hair, I had another thought. If I’d frightened her son, then why would she want anything else to do with me? Tawny wasn’t acting like the mother my sister said she’d be. She wasn’t taking her son and running in the opposite direction.

“A couple, huh?” I had to ask. “You’re not going to stop seeing me now that Calum’s afraid of me?”

“He’ll come around, eventually. I can talk to him, get him to understand things better,” she told me. “I don’t want to stop seeing you just because this happened. As a matter of fact, if I did stop seeing you over this, then that might adversely affect your PTSD, making it worse. I’d never want to do that to you.”

But what about her son? What about him and how he felt about me?

“Tawny, I want you to know that I’d never fault you for ending things with me. I know that your son is the most important thing to you, as he should be. And he’s afraid of me now. I would never say one harsh word against you if you ended this.” I waited to see what she’d say to that. I’d given her a pass to end it all and walk away without a fight.

“Listen to me, August,” she began. “Calum is my life. He has been for six years now, and he always will be. But you have a place in my heart that no one else has been able to take. I know we weren’t close in any real way back then, but what we did that night made us close, closer than a lot of couples are after years together. I’ve told you this before—I feel a bond with you. I don’t know if you feel it, too.”

I jumped in. “I do feel it. But why do you think two people who barely know one another have such an important bond, Tawny?”

Please, tell me Calum is mine!

My fingers crossed and I waited for her next words, which I prayed would be the ones I wanted to hear.

“That night, you took more than just my virginity. You took a piece of my heart,” she said, her voice but a whisper. “I fell a little bit in love with you that night, and spending time with you these last few days has made me realize that it was more than just some girlish infatuation.”

“You love me?” I asked, as that hadn’t even entered my mind. But I had to admit, this girl had a hold on me that no one else had ever managed.

“I have since that night, August. And I think I always will,” she said softly.

Her words echoed in my mind, and I couldn’t hold back my own confession. “I thought about you over and over these past years. I replayed that night in my head so many damn times I’ve lost count. And when you brushed my arm as you walked past me at the Science Center, I felt an electric charge. Is that love, Tawny? Because I’ve never felt that with anyone else—not before our night together, and certainly not after.”

“I can’t tell you if that’s love, August, but I’d like to explore the idea with you.” She paused for a moment, as if thinking if there was anything else to say on the matter. “We had a long day, and it’s late—I should get some sleep.”

The phone seemed glued to my hand; I couldn’t put it down. “Wait.”

“Yes?” she asked.

“Tell me, Tawny. Say the words to me.”

“I love you, August Harlow,” she said sweetly. “Now you have a good night, babe. Call me in the morning.”

My head started spinning at those words, and I was overtly aware that I hadn’t said any words of love back to her. But I couldn’t make the words come out of my mouth. “’Night, Tawny.”

Lying in my bed, alone, I ran my hand over the empty space beside me. Had Tawny’s feelings about me grown into love because she’d had a constant reminder of me?

Had all those fantasies and thoughts I’d had through the years made me fall in love with her?

God knew I never gave any female half a chance to win my heart. Hell, I hadn’t slept with any woman more than a handful of times, and each and every time was purely fucking—no emotions involved. Not the way I’d been with Tawny that night. Not the way I’d been with her on our dinner date, either.

Shit, do I love the woman?

Chapter Twelve

Tawny

My feelings for August were out in the open now, to him at least. But my son was unaware of them. Any time I brought up the man’s name, Calum made a face. He’d cross his arms in front of his chest, puffing it out and telling me he didn’t like August so much anymore, and he didn’t think he wanted to see him again.

August and I had let a few days pass, talking on the phone each day, making suggestions to each other about what the best way to handle this situation would be. All the while, August never confessed any love for me, but asked, each and every time our calls came to an end, to hear the words I’d told him. So, each conversation ended with an ‘I love you’ from me, and a goodbye from him.

Lopsided, I knew.

I also knew it was early to be throwing around the L-word, but I’d pushed those feelings deep inside myself for so many years already. It was hard saying goodbye to August all those years ago, having to let go of the incredible spark between us, no matter how important I knew his leaving to be. But seeing him again and us spending time together had only made me realize that I’d been holding onto those feelings for seven long years—it was no wonder they came blooming to the surface so quickly.

I chalked my ease with expressing my love to August up to the fact that I’d been telling my son that I loved him at least once a day since the day he was born. Being honest about my feelings helped me accept the fact that August just wasn’t ready yet.

He might not have been ready to tell me that he loved me, but he sure as hell was ready to see me again. So ready, in fact, that he’d devised a plan. He’d decided he would show up at my apartment for dinner and talk to Calum directly about why he’d had the attack.

When a knock came to the door, I casually asked Calum to see who was there. “’Kay, Momma.” I watched him look out the window beside the door as I stirred the pot of beef stew I’d prepared for dinner.

When he turned around, heading out of the living room at top speed, the slam of his bedroom door punctuating the moment, I knew he wasn’t about to listen to a word August had to say.

So, I opened the door for August, a frown on my face. “He saw you and took off. He’s in his bedroom.”

Arms came around my body, pulling me close. Our bodies were flush against the other, and heat filled mine. “I’ll fix this. Just watch.” His lips touched mine. “I’ve missed seeing you, baby.”

I couldn’t even respond as his mouth took mine in a hungry kiss. His hands went to my ass, picking me up. Knowing Calum wouldn’t be coming out of his room without assistance any time soon, I wrapped my legs around August. I kissed him back, wishing like hell we could just drop to the floor right there and make love, which we’d yet to do since our reunion.

But August had another agenda in coming here, so he let me down and smacked my ass, sending me back to the kitchen. “I’ve got bigger fish to fry right now, Momma. I’ll get back to you soon, don’t worry. But first, I want to hear you say those words to my face.”

A blush heated my cheeks as I smiled shyly. “August!”

One finger traced my lips as he gazed at me. “Please. For courage, if nothing else.”

Though almost inaudible, the words came out, “I love you, August Harlow.”

A slow smile spread across his handsome face. “Oh, yeah. That’s what I thought would happen when you said those words to my face.” Suddenly I was pulled back into his strong arms, his mouth on mine again. The bulge in his pants pressed against my core, and he didn’t have to say a word—I knew what my words had done to him. When our mouths parted, he whispered in my ear, “I love you too, Tawny Matthews.”

“August?” I asked, surprised. “You don’t have to…”

His mouth came back to mine, making me shut up as he kissed me in a way he hadn’t before.

He loved me, and he’d finally told me so!

When he ended the kiss, he nuzzled his nose to mine. “It felt good telling you that, baby. Better than having you tell me those three little words that have such an effect on me.”

“They have a pretty amazing effect on me as well,” I admitted.

With a groan, he let me go. “Okay, off to fix things.”

He headed down the short hallway and stood just outside the closed door my son had slammed. “Hi, Calum. It’s me, August. I know I scared you the other day, but I wanted to tell you a little story about why I zone out sometimes and end up screaming like that.”

Listening to him try to make peace with my son, I went on cooking dinner and wondering how Calum would take August’s little story. All the while, I wondered how August would clean it up, so he didn’t scare Calum any further.

August went on, “You see, I was in the war.” He paused for a moment, giving Calum time to try to understand what he meant. “You remember that game we played in the arcade, the one where we were soldiers, and we had to shoot all the bad guys? Well, I did that in real life. When you do that in real life, it can make you have bad dreams, even while you’re awake. That’s what happened that day in the car.” He stopped again for a few seconds, likely knowing that this next part would be the hardest to tell. “You probably heard me say the name John the other day in the car. John was a very good friend of mine, and something bad happened to him by accident, and I was there for the whole thing. Sometimes my brain plays tricks on me—like a very bad and mean prank—and the memory of what happened to John comes back to me, even though I know it’s not real. It’s like I have a nightmare even though I’m awake, and sometimes I scream until someone helps me and tells me it’s not real—like your momma did that day in the car. You probably have bad dreams, too, sometimes, right? Mine don’t happen very often, but I know they can be scary. I’m sorry I scared you that day, Calum, and I hope we can be friends again like we were before that happened.”

The squeak of the door opening had me looking around the corner.

Calum had come out, and August got down on his knees, so he was closer to my little boy’s height. “So, you were a soldier, like on TV?”

“I was,” August answered him. “And it’s a lot scarier than it is on TV, too.”

Calum nodded. “I bet it is.” He blinked a few times. “And your friend John, the one who had something bad happen to him? Did he die?”

August nodded, his expression solemn. “Yes, he did, and I was there when that happened. It was very sad, and it’s made me see things that aren’t there. I know it sounds crazy.”

Calum nodded in agreement. “Yeah. It is crazy. But one time, I saw a monkey in a tree at Granny’s. It was a real monkey, but no one believed me.”

“How’d that make you feel, Calum?” August asked him as he ran his hand through Calum’s dark hair. Hair that matched his perfectly.

“Crazy and mad,” he said with a huff as he threw his hands in the air. “Why would I make that up?”

August shook his head. “I don’t see why you’d do a thing like that.”

“I wouldn’t. I ain’t no liar!” Calum huffed again.

August nodded in agreement. “I bet you’re not.”

Then Calum looked at August, and he reached out to put his hand on his cheek. “I bet it made you sad when you saw that happen to your friend.”

“Sadder than I’ve ever been. I’m trying like crazy to stop these nightmares, because I don’t want you to be scared of me. Your momma is trying to help me, too, so I’d like to stick around if that’s okay with you, Calum. I like your momma a lot, and I like you, too.” August placed his hand on my son’s shoulder. “So, what do you say, Calum? Can I hang around with you guys? I’d sure appreciate it if you’d let me.”

“Momma did help you. And I think she likes you, too” Calum said, then took two steps forward, wrapping his arms around August’s neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was afraid of you. You can hang around with us.”

August got up, carrying Calum as he did. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me, Calum. You sure do have a big heart.”

They walked over to me, catching me wiping tears away from that scene, which had touched my heart in a way I couldn’t describe. “So, I see you two have worked things out then.” A sniffle would’ve confirmed to them that I’d been crying a little, if they hadn’t noticed already.

“Yep,” Calum said. “We’re friends again.”

Friends. No, they were more than just friends. But when would the time be right to tell them that?

Chapter Thirteen

August

Although Calum had seen fit to forgive me for the episode he’d witnessed, I wasn’t ready to forgive myself. I’d been warned by my sister and my therapist, but I’d still made the unfortunate decision to ignore their sage advice. It didn’t sit well with me that I’d scared the poor kid.

Although a part of me, the rational part, told me to leave Tawny and her son alone and be on my merry way, my selfish side simply wouldn’t allow me to do that. No, that side of me wanted Tawny—and Calum—in my life more than it had ever wanted anything.

So, after eating the delicious beef stew she’d made, I told her what I wanted after we’d retreated to the living room while Calum filled the dishwasher with our dirty dishes. Slipping one arm around her as we sat on the sofa, I whispered, “So, what are the chances of you letting me sleep over?”

Her pretty green eyes went wide as she shook her head. “No way, August. You know I’d love that, but this place is tiny, and Calum’s a light sleeper.”

My cock wasn’t going to give up so easily. “Okay, then how about we figure out a way to get him out of the house for a little while?”

Her expression turned from stern to intrigued. “Like how?”

I only had one go-to for that answer, so I took my cell out of my pocket to call my sister. The sound of a group of people all talking over each other hit my ears immediately as Leila answered my call, “August, what’s up?”

“I was wondering what you were doing this evening,” I said as I played with a strand of Tawny’s red hair.

“Actually, Jacob wants to go see some new cartoon movie tonight. He and I are about to head out now. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I’m at Tawny’s and…”

She stopped me. “I see. Yeah, I know what you want now. I can take Calum with us if he wants to go.”

“I’ll ask him.” With a kiss to Tawny’s cheek, I got up to go ask Calum if he’d like to watch a cartoon movie with his Aunt Leila and Jacob.

“Yes, sir!” he shrieked then slammed the dishwasher shut before making a beeline for his bedroom.

“He’s in,” I told my sister. “When can we expect you?”

“About a half hour. At least, that’s what Tawny said it took for your driver to bring them over that one time. Text me her address.”

And with that, I’d managed to get Tawny all alone for at least a couple hours. Sure, I’d rather have an entire night, but I’d take anything I could get.

Going back to the sofa, I sat down next to her, running one fingertip over her shoulder. She bit her lower lip. “Maybe I should jump in the shower and do myself up a bit. I’ve been dreaming about this, and I’d like to look my best.”

“Whatever you want. I’ll be right here.” Before she could get up, I left a kiss on her lips that told her what she was in for.

She left the room with a flushed face that made my cock thump in my jeans. Things were turning around for us, I could feel it in the air. It felt heavy and light at the same time. Heavy with what was to come, and light with happiness.

By the time Leila arrived, Calum was chomping at the bit to get going and ran out the door as soon as she knocked. Slowing only to give her a brief hug and thank her for taking him, Calum was quickly on his way.

Leila leveled her eyes on me as she stood at the door. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, little brother.”

“Never,” I said with a laugh then closed the door, locking it before I turned to head toward Tawny’s bedroom.

Tawny was still in the bathroom, so I stripped down, wanting to surprise her in her bed. My cock was ready for her already, but I’d be taking my time with her tonight.

“August?” she called out from the hallway.

“In here,” I called back to her.

I’d turned off the overhead light and turned on a small lamp beside the bed.

“I thought you said you’d wait in the—” she paused, mouth agape as she saw me in her bed, sitting up with my head resting on the pillows.

I patted the empty side of the bed as she stood in the doorway, giving her an eager grin.

Tawny had a towel wrapped around her, her damp hair hanging in loose waves around her shoulders. She clamped her mouth shut, taking in my bare chest and arms. “Oh, you’re naked, huh?”

Tossing the blanket back, I let her see just how naked I was. “Drop the towel, baby.”

She took a deep breath then let the white towel fall to the floor. One of her feet flew back, kicking the door closed before she came to me.

Each step she took made her large breasts jiggle. My cock pulsed, and my mouth watered, wanting to taste every bit of her juicy body.

She sat on the edge of the bed, her breath already coming in quick gasps. It reminded me of our one night together, and I laughed as I grabbed her, pulling her on top of me.

She straddled my stomach as I played with her tits, first with my hands then with my mouth. Her hands fisted in my hair as she made quiet moans. The last moan was filled with words that did something to me I’d never experienced while in bed, “I love you, August Harlow.”

My cock couldn’t wait any longer. I threw all my plans for a slow seduction out of my mind, and with one swift movement I had her on her back, my body hovering over hers as she spread her legs for me. “I love you, Tawny Matthews. Are you ready for me?”

With a nod, she confessed, “I’m soaked for you.”

“Good, because I’m about to slam this cock into that wet pussy and fuck you the way I’ve been dreaming about for far too long now.” And with that, I slammed into her tight pussy.

She let out a scream as my cock stretched her, as her body worked to fit me, “August!” Her nails curled into my shoulders, making them burn.

A groan escaped me—she was unbelievably tight. “Oh, baby!”

Moving in and out of her, I felt every part of her again. Her soft skin rubbed against my chest with each thrust, her hips jutted up, hitting my stomach as she arched her back—everything was sensation, every move she made took me back to seven years ago.

But now she was mine for real, not just the girl I’d found sitting outside at midnight, looking at the same moon I was.

Auburn hair fanned out over the white pillowcase, green eyes looked up at me and pink lips trembled, and I had to take them with my own. Passion made the kiss hard and demanding, and our tongues moved in circles as I made her mine once more.

The sound of her moans mixed with my harsh breathing, and our flesh slapped together over and over in a rhythm that took us to our first climax of the night—and it took us at the same time, just as it had seven years ago.

I’d never had an orgasm at the same time with any other woman. What Tawny and I shared was special, and I knew that without any doubt.

Resting my body on top of hers, but being careful not to put my full weight on her, I panted until I regained my breath. When I looked down at her glowing face, with her eyes closed, lips parted, still panting a bit, I knew without a doubt that this was what love felt like.

It took root inside my heart. Pure love, a love I’d never felt before. I’d do anything for this woman. She felt like a part of me I’d always been missing.

Her eyes opened, and she caught my face between her hands. “My God, August.” One tear rolled down her cheek.

Kissing it away, I echoed, “My God.”

Words were hard to come by to explain how I felt. And it seemed to be the same for Tawny, too. I hadn’t always been the best with words anyway, but I sure could show her what she meant to me.

Rolling onto my back, I kept her close, not allowing our bodies to separate for even a moment. She lay on top of me, and then I gently pushed her to sit up. Those big boobs called to my hands and I played with them again.

One eyebrow cocked as she asked in a husky voice, “You do like the tits, don’t you, August?”

“Nope, I love ’em.” I sat up, taking one into my mouth and licking the nipple as I rolled it between my lips. Her moans had my cock growing stiff again, and soon she was riding my cock to another simultaneous orgasm.

I didn’t want to let her out of that bed. Like, not ever. Keeping her in bed with me would’ve been a dream come true, and that thought had me remembering the way I’d felt that first night. It had seemed like I couldn’t get enough of her back then, and that feeling was still there.

Cupping the back of her head, I kissed her softly. “Leaving you after all we’d done was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. And now that I’ve got you, I don’t think I can ever leave you again.”

She giggled as she pushed her hands through my hair. “I hope you don’t leave me again. I never told you this, but I cried every night for a month after you left. And my prayers for your safe return never stopped. I suppose they were answered, huh?”

Her kiss-swollen lower lip begged me to take it between my teeth. I bit it gently, tugging it as I said, “Thank you for praying for this.”

And then I felt my cock pulsing back to life again, and she did, too, moaning as she started to move again. “Yes, babe. Take me again, you insatiable man.”

With her, I was insatiable—only with her.

Chapter Fourteen

Tawny

August seemed content with the way things had to be. He came over during the day while Calum was at school, and we’d make love the whole time, stopping only to eat and drink a bit to replenish our strength. He’d stay for dinner and would leave when the time came to put Calum to bed. That went on for a week.

But then one day, that wasn’t enough for August. Sweeping into my little apartment moments after I’d gotten back from dropping Calum off at school, I found a serious expression clouding his handsome face. “Tawny, this isn’t working for me.”

Wrapping my arms around him, kissing his sweet lips, I felt the tension leave his body as he and I melded into each other. Once everything felt settled, our mouths parted. “Now, what’s not working for you?”

He took my hands in his, pulling them up and kissing each knuckle as he eyed me carefully. “Not having you in my bed at night.”

“But you have me all day long,” I reminded him.

“Yes, but I won’t always have this. You’ll start work, and then we won’t get to do this anymore.” His lips pressed against my palm, making my insides turn into melted butter.

“August Harlow, have you become addicted to me?” I laughed as he nodded without an ounce of shame. “Well, that can’t be good for you.”

“But it is good for me.” He pulled me along with him to place me on his lap after he’d taken a seat on the sofa. “You see, you’re very good for me, and I just want you around all the time. I know you’ll have to go to work soon, and then I’ll have to give you up during the daytime hours. Then what will I get?”

To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about it. What would he get? What would I get?

I needed my time with August just as much as he needed his time with me. But there was one thing that stopped me from wanting to change our routine—Calum.

The hard thing about keeping a secret is knowing when the right time might be to confess. At first, I didn’t want to burden August with anything. And then, after witnessing his PTSD episode, I knew he wasn’t up for any surprises just yet. But when would he be ready?

Living with PTSD was no easy thing for any veteran, and when you added in the fact that he’d accidentally killed a fellow marine and one of his good friends…well, you had a recipe for disaster.

And then there was the fact that August was now a billionaire. To some women that would be the best news ever. To me, it wasn’t.

Although he and I came from similar backgrounds, he’d become phenomenally wealthy. Wealth like his came with a lot of responsibilities and problems that I was unfamiliar with. Like living in the public eye or needing to have bodyguards for protection on occasion, not to mention the women who threw themselves at wealthy men.

If I told him my secret, which I’d kept from every person in my life, then things would change drastically. And maybe not all for the better. August, and my parents too, would probably see me as a liar.

I didn’t want that.

Sure, with time they’d likely forgive me, but how could they not have a little niggling feeling inside of them, knowing that I’d kept the truth from them for years? Especially when it was about something as important as the identity of my son’s father.

No, I couldn’t do it. Not yet.

“So, what would you suggest we do, August?” I asked him as I ran my hands through his silky dark hair.

“Why don’t you two move in with me?” His eyes danced and glittered as he smiled at me.

Now, I knew most women would fall all over themselves over such a request. But again, I wasn’t most women. So, when my answer came out, the frown I got wasn’t unexpected. “No.”

One solid huff forced a burst of air out of him as he stared at me with a questioning expression. “Well, you won’t let me stay the night here with you. You’ve said it’s too small, and Calum would hear everything. I think my idea is great, if you ask me.”

“Look, Calum is a large part of why I can’t move in with you. He gets up almost every night and climbs into bed with me. That would be a problem if you and I slept together each night.”

With a roll of his eyes, his reply was blunt, “You’re grasping at straws, Tawny.”

“I am not,” I said as I got off his lap. “I’m getting a cup of coffee. You want one?”

He nodded and followed me to the kitchen. What I really needed was a glass of wine to soothe my nerves, which had grown jagged.

“I don’t see why he can’t learn not to get out of his bed at night, is all I’m saying. Maybe Leila can give you some tips on that. That shouldn’t be something that keeps us apart, Tawny, surely you can see that.” Coming up behind me, August ran his arms around my waist, leaning his chin on top of my shoulder.

Turning in his arms, I wrapped my arms around him and told him a bit more of the truth. “Another reason is for our safety and privacy. I know you live in a high-profile neighborhood—not to mention that your lifestyle must be wildly different from what we’re used to. If we were to move in with you, I think we’d need to be protected—by a bodyguard or security, at least. I get that you don’t need anyone to protect you, but your philanthropy and the opening of your club are turning you into a household name in this city. People will be curious about us, and Calum and I would have to have protection. I don’t think I’d like living that way.”

Sadness filtered into his hazel eyes. “Baby, what are you saying? Are you telling me that we can’t ever move forward? Are you saying this is all we’ll ever have?”

“I don’t know what I’m saying, August. This has all happened very quickly, and I’m just a little confused.” I kissed him. “The only thing I’m not confused about is the fact that I love you. But everything else needs a little sorting out still.”

His chest swelled with a deep sigh. He was not a happy man at that moment. But I knew I could take his mind off things, at least for a little while.

Running my hands down his arms, I took his hands. “Let’s skip the coffee and go to bed.”

“No,” his word came out sternly. His eyes moved up to meet mine. “If this is all we can ever have… I don’t think I can take that.”

“August, we haven’t even been seeing each other that long,” I argued.

“We’ve known each other forever, Tawny. I want to share my life with you. So what if I have to hire a couple of bodyguards to watch over you and Calum when I can’t? I don’t care about that. Shit, more than half the kids in Los Angeles have them, and most of the wives and girlfriends do, too.” The pad of his thumb ran over my lower lip as he looked at me with adoring eyes.

How could I say no to him when he looked at me that way? His hold on me had my body vibrating with more than just lust—love shook me, and I wanted so badly to make him happy.

But I just couldn’t move in with him—not with my secret still hanging between us.

It wouldn’t be right.

My cell rang. It was in the living room, so August let me out of his embrace, and I went to answer it. “It’s Calum’s school,” I told August, who loomed just behind me. “Hello.”

“Miss Matthews?” a woman asked me.

“Yes, this is she.”

“You were aware of the field trip your son’s class took today, right?” she asked me, her tone tense.

Chills ran through me, my gut telling me something was wrong. “Yes, the trip to Big Bear. I packed him a special lunch for it. Is everything okay?”

“Um, have you watched any news today, Miss Matthews?”

August’s arms encircled me, as I must’ve begun looking a bit pale. “I haven’t watched any news. Please just tell me what’s going on.”

August let go of me to grab the television remote, and he turned it on, changing the channel to one of the local stations.

And there it was. A yellow school bus, along with some other cars, trapped between two lines of wildfire.

I collapsed onto the sofa as the lady finally filled me in, “There are fifteen people in total on the bus with your son—three adults and twelve children. Evacuations are underway, but with the fires moving and the winds picking up…well, it’s a very dangerous situation.”

August took the phone from my hand, as I couldn’t find the strength to say a word or move a muscle. He spoke to the woman on the other end, “We’ll handle it, thank you.”

Putting my phone down, he picked his up and made a call—to whom, I hadn’t a clue. All I knew was that my little boy was in danger. Horrible danger. “August, what if he’s burned alive?”

“Hush, don’t think like that, baby.” He came to sit next to me. I heard a man answer his call and he put it on speakerphone. “Gannon, I need your help,” he said, all business. “There’s a school bus full of little kids—one of them is especially important to me—they’re trapped up in Big Bear by some wildfires. I need some choppers up there to help evacuate them, and my boy is the first to be helped, you got me?”

“I’ve got you. I’ll call my pilot and set things up. Meet us at the Beverly Center Heliport.”

“Got it,” August hung up without as much as a goodbye. “Come on, baby. Let’s go bring Calum home.” He pulled me up with him, and I followed.

My body and mind were numb with shock.

But August had a plan, and that was more than I had.

Chapter Fifteen

August

The thick smoke filling the sky made it impossible to see the ground below us for a few tension-filled moments. I’d left Tawny at the heliport, as she’d demanded to be left behind so there’d be more room for evacuees in Gannon’s chopper.

His pilot and I headed out in the first one, with Gannon and another pilot taking off just after we did. My other partner, Nixon, headed out just after him. Three helicopters that could fit three more riders were on the way to save as many people as we could.

The conditions weren’t great. High winds caused by the blazing infernos made traveling through the air difficult. The birds swung from side to side as the winds pushed us, but the engines were strong and we all made forward progress.

One Coast Guard chopper flew past us as we neared our destination. It felt good to know that their large helicopter could carry a lot more people to safety. Maybe we could get all of them out, and no one would die or get hurt.

The yellow school bus shone through the smoke, and I pointed at it. The pilot looked for a good place to land and found one not too far away. The Coast Guard’s chopper had already landed, but they had to land further away due to the size of the craft.

My feet hit the ground running as fast as I could to reach Calum. The kids were being kept on the school bus, and I banged on the glass door to be let inside.

Only then did it occur to me that I had no legal right to take Calum anywhere, just as a lady who I assumed was his teacher stood up. “Unless you’re with the Coast Guard, we can’t let you take any child who isn’t yours, sir. I am truly sorry.”

Calum stood up, shouting, “August! You’re here!” He ran to me, throwing his arms around my legs, hugging me.

I picked him up and handed my cell to the teacher. I’d hit the button to call Tawny, putting it on speaker in case I could help with her argument. “Hello?” came her frightened voice.

“Um, this is Mrs. Copperfield, Calum’s…”

Tawny wasted no time. “Yes, I know. Let my son go with the man who came for him.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” the teacher replied grimly.

“Are you kidding me? You can, and you will,” Tawny informed her. “I also have Kyle’s and Jasper’s mothers right here, and they want their sons to go with August Harlow as well. He’ll take them all, with your permission or not, Mrs. Copperfield. We’ll deal with the school ourselves, no need for you to worry about your job.”

“I, uh…hell, I don’t know what to do,” the lady said with despair.

“Let us get these kids to safety. Between the three helicopters we brought, we have room for nine,” I told her before looking at Calum. “Where are your friends? Let’s get them and go.”

“Come on, guys!” Calum shouted, and two little boys jumped out of their seats, running to me.

Just as I left the bus with my prize in hand, one of the Coast Guard men came up to me. “How much room do you have, sir?”

“Mine is filled,” I told him. “Two more are behind me. There’s room for three in each one.”

“The children are small,” the man said. “I think you can get two in each seat. Would you try that?”

“Sure will. Grab me three more from the bus, and I’ll see if they fit.” I knew that with that man’s help, the teacher would get over her fear of being fired and let the kids go with us.

In no time at all, we had six kids loaded into our helicopter and were heading back to the heliport. Calum was all smiles as we flew through the smoke, even though the wind pitched us around a bit. The kid was fearless.

When we touched down, I helped them out one by one, and they all ran to their parents—the parents must’ve gotten the memo somehow that the kids would be arriving at the heliport. Calum jumped into his mother’s waiting arms as she cried with relief.

Letting them have a moment, I hung back, making sure each kid had found someone before joining Tawny and Calum.

Calum was talking a mile a minute, telling her about the fire and the helicopter ride and how I was like a hero, coming in and saving everyone.

Tawny looked at me over her son’s shoulder. “You are a hero, August. You always have been.”

What I’d just done was nothing compared to the things I’d done in the war. But I took the compliment. “Thanks, baby. You ready to head home?”

She nodded, still clinging to her son. “I am. I just want to get my baby boy home and hug him for a very long time.”

“I bet you do.” Wrapping my arm around her and Calum, I led them to the car as the second helicopter arrived, reuniting six more children with their relieved parents.

Although Tawny seemed to still be in a state of shock, Calum was anything but. He rattled on and on about the events, saying how he’d never forget any of it.

Tawny ran her fingers over my arm as tears fell from her pretty green eyes. “How are you, August? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about either of us, we’re good, baby. You look like you need a stiff drink and a hot bath though.” Turning the corner, I headed to my place. Tawny was in no condition to complain, and she needed some tender loving care.

She looked around, then at me. “Where are you going?”

“To my place,” I said with a grin.

“Yes!” Calum shouted. “Finally, we get to see your place!”

“No,” Tawny said. “Go to my apartment.”

“Baby, you need…”

I didn’t get to finish as she said, “No, August. Take us home. I want to go home.”

“Well, I’m already on the freeway, and I’ll have to find an exit, and that’ll take a while,” I tried to stall her.

“Momma, I wanna go to his place,” Calum demanded.

“No,” came her stern reply.

“Tawny, it would be quicker and better if we go to my house.” I took the next exit, turning around to go to her little apartment anyways, but hoping she’d change her mind. “I’ve got a jacuzzi tub where you can relax. And there’s an indoor pool where Calum can play too.”

“I don’t want to go there, August. Please,” she said, and then broke down, crying hard.

“Okay, baby. Okay, you don’t have to cry,” I tried to soothe her. “I’m taking you home, baby.”

My words should’ve eased her cries, but they didn’t. She went on and on, her face in her hands as her sobs continued. I supposed it was because it was the first time she’d come close to losing her son. Leila had been right, there were definitely some differences between a single mom and women who didn’t have children.

“Mamma, it’s okay. You don’t gotta cry,” Calum made his own attempt at soothing his mother.

“You don’t understand. Neither of you understands at all,” Tawny wailed.

“You’re right,” I admitted. “We don’t understand. But I’m taking you home the way you wanted. You can calm down now. I had no idea taking you to my place to pamper you would do this to you.” My response had come out sterner than I had intended, and I took a deep breath to calm myself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you—you don’t know how sorry I am.”

That only made her cries go an octave higher, and I had no idea why. Calum was out of danger, and we were getting closer to her home by the second, so I didn’t understand why she was carrying on the way she was.

She cried all the way to her place, and once we got inside, she went to her bedroom and closed the door behind her, shutting Calum and me out. I could still hear her crying, and every now and then she would shout something, but it was always a grief-stricken question like ‘how?’ and ‘why did I do this?’

Did she mean me? Why did she get involved with me?

Calum and I sat in the living room after I’d fetched us both bowls of ice cream. Finding a cartoon on TV that I could stomach, we sat and ate our snack, trying to ignore the sounds coming out of his mother’s bedroom.

“Man, I’m never goin’ on a field trip again,” Calum mumbled then took another bite.

“Don’t let one little disaster stop you from having fun, Calum. Life’s full of them, but we can’t stop living just because bad things happen. If we did, we’d never have fun at all. And I like to have fun.” Running my hand over his head, I nudged him with my shoulder. “And she’ll be okay. Moms, huh?”

“You’re tellin’ me,” Calum agreed, rolling his eyes and sighing, trying to act like an adult.

Lucky for me, Calum liked the same kinds of cartoons I did—having watched my six nieces and nephews grow up, I was no stranger to kids’ shows. Before I knew it, we’d talked over the whole last season of Ninja Buddies. Ninja Steve proved to be both of our favorite.

When an hour had passed, we finally heard silence coming from Tawny’s bedroom. “Maybe I should go check to make sure she’s okay,” I told Calum before getting up to go see if she’d passed out, or what had her being so quiet all of a sudden.

But just as I got up, the squeaking of the door stopped me, and I stood right where I was. Calum got on his knees on the sofa, peering at the hallway. “Momma?”

Her auburn waves were a mess. I could tell she’d been running her hands through it incessantly. Her red-rimmed eyes were smudged black with makeup underneath as they looked at me and then at Calum. Her mouth opened, but then snapped shut.

“Baby, are you okay?” I had to ask. I’d never seen anything close to this side of her before, and I didn’t know what to do for her.

Shaking her head slowly, her lips parted once more. “I’m not okay at all. I’ve done something that I wish I hadn’t.”

“What could possibly be so bad, Tawny?” having asked that, my mind went on a spree through ideas of what she might’ve done to make her look so guilty. Cheating on me was the only thing that sprang to my mind.

My gut twisted at the thought.

Her eyes darted from me to Calum and back again. “You’re both going to be mad at me.”

“No way, Momma,” Calum quickly said, shaking his head.

All she did was nod in response. Seconds ticked by like hours as she stood there on the other side of the room, barely out of the hallway. “I’ve been keeping a secret.”

She had?

Chapter Sixteen

Tawny

I was frozen to my spot as both of their eyes were glued on me. In my complete and utter distress, I’d assumed the words would flow out me, unable to stay inside a moment longer. Instead, nothing came to mind as to how to tell the two people in front of me to the information I knew they deserved.

In hindsight, if I’d have been in my right mind, I probably would have done things differently. But the terror of having my baby boy so close to death, and with August almost stopped from doing anything about it…

Well, something inside of me had snapped, and I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer.

“A secret?” August asked, his face full of fear.

He’d begun to assume the worst, and that alone had me speeding up my confession. “August, you’re the only man…” I paused, looking at my six-year-old son, knowing I had to phrase this the right way for his innocent ears.

“I’m the only man, what, baby?” August asked with narrowed eyes. He knew something was up, and that he had something to do with it.

“There’s never been anyone but you, August Harlow. From the night before you left for boot camp until we met again at the Science Center, there’s only been you. I’ve never been with…” I couldn’t say it. Not with my son looking at me.

“Oh…” August murmured. “I see what you’re saying.” He looked at Calum, and then at me. “So, tell us what you have to say, Tawny,” he demanded, a serious yet unreadable expression on his face.

My eyes came to rest on Calum. “Calum, August is your father.”

My son looked at me with so much confusion before he asked, “How do you know that?”

August laughed and picked him up, and I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “Because mommies and daddies just know, that’s why. I’ve been wondering about you, Calum. We’ve got the same hair.”

Calum looked up at August’s hair, a contemplative gleam in his eyes as his gaze traveled to his father’s eyes. “And you have my color eyes, too,” Calum said as they looked one another over.

“I think your mom had a good reason for keeping this a secret, because she was worried. But she shouldn’t have been worried. I would’ve been there for you guys. But we shouldn’t be mad at her, okay, buddy? She was young and did what she thought best,” August told Calum. Then he looked at me. “Come over here and get in on this, baby. No one’s mad at you.”

My heart began to beat again, so much relief passing through me that for a moment I couldn’t move. I’d prepared myself for August to yell at me for a while before storming out. And I’d figured Calum would be mad at me and not understand anything. Seems I’d been wrong.

“I’m sorry for not telling you guys earlier. I was waiting for the right time to tell you, but it’s a hard thing to figure out.”

August pulled me to his side, his arm wrapping around me as he kissed the side of my head. “You’re forgiven. I had a very strong idea Calum was my son, just so you know. I was waiting for you to bring it up—I didn’t want to seem rude, if I’d been wrong.”

Relief flooded me with his touch and his words. “Thank you.”

“I forgive you, too, Momma,” Calum said, leaning in to kiss my cheek. “And thanks for telling me. Now when I go back to school, I get to tell all my friends that it was my dad who saved us all. Man, I’m gonna be popler.”

August put Calum down and went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, bringing it back and handing it to me. “Here, you need to replenish your water. I think you cried just about all of it out.”

Taking the bottle from his hand, I said, “Thank you. By the way you guys are taking this news, I can see all that crying was for nothing.”

“Yeah,” August agreed. He took a seat next to Calum, and I took the one on the other side of our son. “You know, I’ve had a nagging worry over those fires since the day I ran into you two. I thought it was weird, as there’ve been wildfires in California before, and I’ve never worried this much about them. Maybe the worry will go away now. Maybe I knew one day I’d have to save my little boy from one.” He shrugged. “Stranger things have happened.”

“Wow,” I said as I looked at him. “A little psychic ability to add to your other superpowers.” Giving him a wink, I blew him a kiss.

“And I’m all yours, baby.” He ran his hand over Calum’s head. “I’d like to sign his birth certificate and give him my last name. And I’ll start up a trust fund for him right away.”

“What’s a trust fund?” Calum asked.

“Oh, just this little thing that’ll help you out for the rest of your life. A bonus you get for being my son.” August laughed. “Man, that sounds so crazy coming out of my mouth. I have a son!”

“And I have a dad!” Calum added. “I always wanted a dad real bad. Everybody else has one. Well, ’cept for Kaylanna, who has two moms instead of a mom and dad.”

As we laughed, I saw the look August had in his hazel eyes. He had a family now. A real family. And it was then that I realized that I’d lost a lot of the control I’d had up to this point. Calum was his son, too, and I knew August well enough to know he was going to do right by the boy, no matter what.

Again, most women would probably be over the moon to finally be able to share this responsibility. But I’d been a single mother for years. I was the one who’d made every decision there’d ever been made concerning Calum. Now August would get to do that, too.

How would we be as co-parents? Would we see eye to eye on everything, or butt heads on everything? And what would that mean for our relationship?

When August got up again, he wiggled his finger at me. “Can I talk to you, Momma, in private?”

Calum went back to watching his cartoon as August took my hand, leading me to my bedroom. When he saw the state of my bed, he chuckled. The blankets were everywhere as I’d fisted them and tossed them around in my little fit of self-pity.

He didn’t say a word about the state of the room though. He just closed the door behind us, keeping me between him and the door. His hands moved gently over my cheeks, and then his lips found mine. My chest swelled with love and relief. Everything was going to be okay.

When his mouth left mine, he looked into my eyes. “I want you both to come home with me. I want you both to be with me as much as humanly possible.”

And there it was—his first demand. And who was I to turn him down now? Now that he knew Calum was his, I had no right to deny him access to his son. I’d already done so for far too long.

But I was anything but an irresponsible parent. “August, what happens if you and I don’t work out? What about Calum?”

Shaking his head as his finger traced a line across my jaw then down to my collarbone, he answered my question. “Tawny, not even married couples know what the future holds for them or their children. We shouldn’t worry about all the ‘what-ifs’—there are way too many of those. And I can assure you that no matter what happens between us, that boy is mine, and I’ll never turn my back on him, or you for that matter. You’re both a part of me now.”

Knowing he was right, I turned my attention away from the negative to focus on the positive. And the positive was standing right in front of me. I wasn’t about to let any ‘what-ifs’ take away from what we had.

“I’ll come, but I should have my own bedroom. Just until I get Calum to stop getting in bed with me,” I agreed. “He seems excited and fine now, but this might get a little confusing to him.”

“It’s not everything that I want, but it’s a start,” August said, then kissed me again. “At the very least, I’ll get to make love to you before you leave my room for the night. And I’ll get to wake up and see you every morning. You have no idea how much that excites me.”

The way I felt his cock pulse inside his jeans let me know he wasn’t lying.

Then his lips trailed up my neck, and his words tickled my ear, “So, you kept your promise to me after all. No one has ever touched you but me. Baby, you have no idea how that makes me feel.”

“I think it makes you feel pretty damn good,” I said as I jutted my hips out, letting his erection press against my cunt. If there wasn’t a little boy sitting in the next room, I would’ve already been halfway undressed by now.

I didn’t even bother to ask if he’d kept his promise, knowing he’d been with other women. It didn’t matter. Not really. I knew he loved me, and doubted he’d ever loved anyone else.

“Let’s get Calum’s and your things packed up and get you home, where you belong.” August took my hand, leading me back out to our son. “Hey, Calum, you want to come see your new home, son?”

“Yes, sir!” he jumped up, nearly knocking the empty ice cream bowls off the coffee table. “Oops!” He grabbed them up, taking them to the kitchen then ran to August, grabbing his pants leg. “Hey, can I call you Dad now?”

“You better,” August said then messed up his hair. “Son.”

My heart was on overdrive. I’d done it. I’d managed to tell the truth, and now we were going to be a happy family. I still had to tell my parents, which I was not looking forward to, but they’d be easy now that the two who really mattered knew the truth.

My world was shaping up rather well. No matter what happened between me and August, my son would always be taken care of. I knew August would see to that—he was a hero right down to his core.

As we left the apartment, August asked, “So, what in that apartment is yours, and what belongs to the owners?”

“Well, we’ve got all of our clothes and personal things. That’s really all that’s ours. The place was furnished, all the way down to the dishes and the towels. Except for a few cleaning supplies, everything else belongs to the owner. There’s really nothing left for us to do,” I told him. “But it’s going to feel weird not to have my own place. I mean, I lived with Mom and Dad up until I moved to Los Angeles. This was the first place I’d had on my own, and I was really enjoying it.”

“I think you’ll like your new place in Hidden Hills,” he said with a chuckle before taking my hand. “And for the record, I love the idea of having a family to fill what’s been an empty home for way too long.”

So that was it. My life had officially been turned upside down—by the father of my child—and in record time, too.

Chapter Seventeen

August

Bringing Tawny and Calum home had me on cloud nine. I couldn’t recall a time I’d been so happy. It was like I was on love overload, and I couldn’t quit thinking about our future. “So, that little death trap of a car you drive can be sold, Tawny. I’ve got plenty of cars for you to choose from. Not to mention the town car with my driver.”

“August, you’re doing too much for me already. And my car’s not a death trap—I’ll have you know that the ’o5 Nissan Sentra is exceptionally designed to withstand a head-on collision or being rear-ended. There are two crumple zones in the frame that…”

I gave her a sideways glance before interrupting her. “Tawny, forget about it. The thing’s an ancient piece of crap. And what’s mine is yours now anyway.”

The laugh that came out of her didn’t make sense. “August, we’re not married. What’s yours isn’t mine at all.”

“Well, you’re the mother of my son—that makes you something to me. And if I say what’s mine is yours, then it is, Tawny Matthews. Fight it all you want, but you’re my baby’s momma, and I’m going to take care of you both.”

“Jesus, I hate being called that,” she mumbled. “That makes me sound like some woman from the Jerry Springer show.”

“Okay, I’ll come up with something better then. But you’re important to me, and I’m going to treat you that way. Like it or not, I love you. And now that I know you carried my child inside of you and raised him all on your own for six long years, I owe you.” The entrance to my place was just ahead, and when I turned into the area in front of the twin gates, Tawny and Calum gasped.

“August, you live behind gates?” Tawny asked me then shook her head. “That sounded so hickish. Ignore me, please. I’ve never been around any wealthy people before. I don’t know how to act.”

“Act like yourself,” I told her.

Calum took off his seatbelt to get a better look at the house, leaning up on the back of my seat. “Wow!”

“I know, right?” The grandeur of my home wasn’t lost on me. I’d grown up in a modest three-bedroom house back in Sebastopol; I knew the home I’d bought was a thing of beauty.

The driveway wasn’t as long as some, but it was surrounded by lush vegetation, making it appear jungle-like. “August, I had no idea,” Tawny gushed.

“You knew I lived in Hidden Hills; what do you mean you had no idea?” I asked her as I pulled to a stop at the front entrance.

“I mean I had no idea how huge this place would be, or how wonderful,” she replied with a smile.

“Yeah, it sure is,” Calum chimed in as he got out of the car. Tawny and I followed his lead, getting out, too. “I can’t wait to see the inside.”

Standing in front of the house, I pointed to the right side. “Okay, this home is divided into three sections. Right in the middle is the entrance room, also called a foyer. The staircase is located there. Behind that room is the main living area—it’s huge. Off to the right, you’ll find the indoor pool, the bar, the game room, a media room, and another sitting area.”

“All that’s just on the right side?” Tawny asked with curiosity.

“All of that is just on the ground floor. Upstairs are three bedrooms, all with their own private baths, enormous walk-in closets, and sitting areas,” I informed her.

“And on the left?” she asked as she turned to look at the other side of the home.

“On the left, you have the kitchen, the breakfast nook, the informal dining room, and the formal dining room, the theater room, plus a sitting area. And above them on the second floor are four more bedrooms with all the same amenities of the rooms in the other wing. My bedroom is located in the left wing, so I’d love it if you two chose rooms in that wing, too. I’d like to be close to you guys.” Wrapping my arm around Tawny’s waist, I pulled her close to me, whispering, “Especially you, baby.”

A sexy smile curled her pink lips as she looked down, batting her lashes. “August, you’re so bad.”

Give her one soft kiss to the side of her neck. “Only with you, baby.”

Heading inside, I prepared myself for their reactions—and was pleased with them as Calum gasped after I opened the door. “Gosh!”

“Lord, August, you’ve lived here all alone?” Tawny asked. “This place is enormous.” Her eyes moved over the redwood staircase. Two sets of curved stairs ran up to the next floor, the ceiling open all the way to the top, where a skylight bathed the room with light. The grey marble glistened in the rays, shining brightly.

“I’ve lived here all alone,” I answered as I gave her a little squeeze. “And now I have you two to share this place with. Tawny, I’ve never been this happy in my entire life. I want you guys to make this place your home.”

“That’ll take some doing, August.” Her eyes were wide as she looked all over the place. “This place is like a five-star hotel or something.”

“It took me a minute to get used to it, too.” I kissed her cheek. “You guys will get used to it before you know it.”

The door at the back of the room opened, and there stood my head housekeeper. “Ah, Denise, how nice to see you. I’ve got a couple of people who’ll be joining me here from now on. I’d like to introduce you to Tawny Matthews, my girlfriend.”

Tawny reached out to shake Denise’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Denise.”

“And you too,” Denise said with raised brows. “And who’s this little guy?”

“I’m Calum,” my son said as he stepped up to shake her hand, too. “I just found out that August is my daddy.”

Denise’s eyebrows rose even higher as she looked at me and opened her arms up wide. “Well, congratulations, August!”

Denise was incredibly maternal, with three children of her own, and she always treated me as if I were her fourth. “Thank you, Denise.” She let me go as she looked at Calum. “And he looks just like his strapping daddy, too.”

“Tawny and Calum will be living with me from now on, so please help them settle in the same way you did with me. They’re from my hometown, so this is an adjustment for them, the same as it was for me when I bought the place and hired you on.” Running my arm back around Tawny, I went on, “After hiring Denise, I thought I didn’t need anyone else to help with the upkeep of this place. She helped me hire the rest of the staff—she has a lot of experience working for people with large homes.”

“Good to know,” Tawny said as she looked at Denise, “because I already feel overwhelmed, and we’re just in the foyer.”

“I’ll draw you a map, so you don’t get lost,” Denise said as she clapped her hands. “I’ll be in the kitchen, come there last, and I’ll give you the map.”

The skip in my housekeeper’s step told me she was just as excited as I was to have more people in the home she took pride in caring for. As she headed toward the kitchen, I moved my little family into the next room.

Windows ran along the back wall of the main living area, the mountains offering a gorgeous view. “This is one of my favorite places to sit and watch the sunrise.” I nuzzled my nose against Tawny’s. “And now you guys can join me to watch it, too.”

“This view is to die for,” she murmured. “God, August, this is just too good to be true.”

“No, it’s not. I thought the same when I first bought the place. But it is true, and now you’re a part of this as well.” Taking her by the chin, I placed a soft kiss on her lips while Calum was distracted with his own exploration of the room. “How about we see the rest of the downstairs, and then I’ll take you up, and you two can pick out your new bedrooms.”

The rest of the tour had them nearly speechless, which was a rare thing for Calum. When I took them up to the left wing, I pointed at my door, which was at the end of the hallway. “That’s my room down there. If you’ll notice, there are rooms very close to mine and right across the hall from each other. Should we check those out first?”

Calum ran to the door on the right and stopped, frozen in place as Tawny and I caught up. “Momma, look,” he muttered.

Tawny’s eyes looked like they were about to fall out of their sockets—and I couldn’t blame her. The room was bigger than the apartment they’d been staying in. “Oh, Lord!”

I walked in, explaining as I went. “This is the sitting area with a television,” I gestured to the flat screen that hung on the wall in front of a couple of tan leather sofas. I opened the door at the back of that room, going into the bedroom. “There’s tons of room in here to fill this place with toys of all kinds. What do you think, Calum?”

“I think I’m in heaven,” he said with a giggle as he ran all over the room. A queen-sized bed caught his attention, and he hopped up on it and spread his little body out as wide as he could. “I can’t believe this! Is this whole bed for me?”

“It is.” Tawny went to sit on it too, moaning at how comfortable it was. “Oh, August, this bed’s so comfy.” She pulled Calum up and put him on her lap. “I bet you’ll sleep like a baby in this bed, don’t you?”

“Prolly,” he agreed.

After showing them the attached bathroom with a stand-up tiled shower and a bathtub, I took them to the closet at the back. Neither Calum nor Tawny knew what it was. “And what kinda room’s this?” he asked.

“This is your closet.” I opened the doors, which were built to look like they were only walls. “See, your things will go in here. And the bench is for you to sit on to put your shoes on.” I went to the other side of the room, opening those hidden doors. “Your shoes will go in here on these shelves.”

“That’s a whole lotta shelves, Dad,” Calum told me as his eyes grew wide.

“It is.” I opened the last two doors, showing him the drawers that were inside of them. “And here are the drawers for your other things.”

Neither quite knew how to act; they were clearly overwhelmed. And when I took Tawny to a room that was very similar to Calum’s, she began to cry. I held her in my arms to soothe her. “This is too much, August.”

“No, this is what your life is now, Tawny. You belong here with me. Our son deserves this. And so do you.” I kissed her on top of her head as I swayed with her.

Resting her head on my chest, we watched our son as he ran around the room, marveling at everything. The puzzle of my life felt as if it was finally being solved. Hope filled me for our future.

Nothing could stop me now.

Chapter Eighteen

August

“I started out this day nearly catching on fire, and now I’m swimmin’ in a pool that’s inside a house that I get to live in!” Calum said just before he jumped off the diving board, creating a splash that echoed inside the glass room.

Tawny and I sat on the edge of the pool, our feet dangling in the water. She didn’t have a bathing suit, so she couldn’t get in. I opted to sit out with her, and Calum was happy to swim in a pair of shorts.

Our fingers entwined, our shoulders touching as we leaned against each other, we watched our son playing away in front of us. I don’t think I’d ever been in a better mood. The sound of the door opening had us turning to see who it was. “Good evening, sir,” my chef, Tara, greeted us. “I’ve come to see what you all want for dinner. With the new additions, I’d like to prepare a meal they’ll enjoy, too.”

Calum dog-paddled his way to us, the red life jacket he wore keeping him afloat. “I love chili dogs. Oh, and I love French fries.”

Tawny cleared her throat. “But little boys who want to grow up to be strong men like their fathers have to eat more than junk food to get that way.” She directed her attention to Tara. “So, anything healthy is good with us. I don’t like to eat fried foods and don’t like Calum to, either. I’ve always stayed away from sugary foods and drinks as well. I’m a nurse, so nutrition is more important to me than taste.”

“Ah, I see. So, let me see if this is a typical meal you’d enjoy,” Tara said, getting a bead on Tawny. “Roasted chicken in an almond sauce, organic fresh green beans with wild mushrooms, and baked sweet potatoes with a touch of cinnamon and brown sugar butter. How’s that sound?”

“That sounds nutritious and delicious,” Tawny said with a wide smile. “And I usually give Calum an eight-ounce glass of almond or coconut milk, or a mixture of the two, unsweetened, of course. And a glass of water, too.”

With a nod, Tara had one more question, “I usually serve fowl with white wine. Is that okay with you, ma’am?”

“Yes, of course. And water though, please make sure there’s water on the table,” Tawny said with a smile. “I’m an avid water drinker. It’s like a little miracle, health-wise.”

“I will remember that then. I’ll have the minifridge in your bedroom stocked with some bottled water, and I’ll stock Calum’s with some healthy choices, too.” And with that, Tara left us alone once more.

Tawny shook her head. “That was weird, huh?”

“What, telling our chef how you want to eat?” I asked with a chuckle. “No, it’s what you’re supposed to do. Tara’s a great chef and eager to please, so feel free to let her know whatever you want.” Her lips were just too close not to kiss, so I stole one kiss from her as Calum paddled around the pool. “He’s wearing himself out rather well, don’t you think?”

She nodded and gave me a sexy little grin. “After this, a filling meal, a warm bath, and a bedtime story, he should be out like a light.”

“Then Mommy and Daddy can play.” I kissed her again. “Thank you for coming here with me.”

Leaning her head on my shoulder, she ran her hand over my chest. “Thank you for asking us to come. My pride gets in my way sometimes.”

“That’s okay.” One look at Calum as he climbed out of the pool to go down the slide reminded me of something that had been on my mind. “Tawny, I thought you told me you were on the pill that night.”

She ducked her head, suddenly shy—and maybe feeling a little guilty. “Yeah, you remember that right.”

“So, how did you manage to get pregnant?” I took her by the chin to get her to look at me again.

“Well,” she said, then her eyes cut to the left before coming back to meet mine. “I lied about that.”

“Why on Earth would you lie about that?” I asked her.

“Because I wanted you. And I didn’t have any condoms and doubted you did. And I wanted to feel you and only you. I know that was immature of me—and very wrong and unfair to you. And I knew the risk I was taking. But I didn’t care. I wanted you so damn badly, nothing else mattered to me.” Her cheeks heated with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, August. I never meant to get pregnant. I never meant to hurt you in any way. That’s why I kept it to myself. I felt it to be my responsibility, not yours.”

“But he’s my blood, baby. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but you should know that if you had told me you were pregnant, then I wouldn’t have stayed in the marines past my initial two-year commitment.” My thoughts turned to what had happened after the first two years had gone by. I’d been on some very dangerous missions, missions I would never have taken if I’d known I had a kid.

“I’m sorry. I really am,” she whispered. “You and I were nothing to each other at the time. That was my biggest reason behind keeping things to myself.”

I nodded, understanding her much better then. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have just loved you and left you like that. There were plenty of ways we could’ve stayed in touch. My reason for not staying in touch was because I wanted you to feel free to be with other guys, maybe even fall in love. Not in a million years did I think you’d actually keep the promise you made to me that night.”

Blinking a few times, Tawny sighed. “Yeah, well, having a kid makes dating pretty difficult. Hell, I’ve had doctors ask me out, and I’ve turned every one of them down. Bringing anyone around Calum just seemed wrong to me. Being with anyone else just didn’t excite me the way being with you did.”

Stroking her hair, I had something to admit to her, too. “I can’t lie and tell you that I kept my promise I made to you that night. But I can tell you this—no one compared to you. No one ever filled my mind and heart the way the memory of you did—the way you do now.”

Her green eyes looked at me, filled with love and hope. “I hate what happened today with Calum and the wildfire scare, but I love the fact that it drew the truth out of me. I knew it the moment you took over, and I couldn’t think of anything else other than that you both needed to know what you truly are to each other.”

“It’s crazy how things in this world work.” My fingers played with the collar of her dress, touching her skin lightly, loving how each touch sent sparks of electricity traveling up my fingers, through my hand, and up my arm. Our connection was real. Our love was real.

One little voice nagged at my brain, though. If she’d told you that you were a father, you would’ve been out of the marines long before that gun misfired.

Closing my eyes, I tried to rid my mind of that thought. What happened had happened. I couldn’t allow my inner demons to get in the way of my happiness.

So, I opened my eyes to look at the woman I loved. “I love you, Tawny. No matter what’s happened, I love you.”

The smile she gave me made my heart melt as her hand moved over my cheek. “And I love you, too. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you and making up for the years you lost with our son.”

Sure, she will, the nagging voice in my head said. She can’t change the past though, can she?

Chapter Nineteen

Tawny

The day had taken its toll on Calum, and when he laid his head on the soft pillow, his eyes closed almost immediately. August read him a story, but only got a quarter of the way through it before Calum made light snoring sounds.