P-Nut

Joey’s eventual acceptance of my kidnapping the ATF agent proved to me she was in it for the long haul. There was no doubt in my mind that she’d make it through the thick and the thin. I needed to make her feel the same way about me, but had no idea how to prove myself to her.

“Yours is better,” I said.

Her fork clanked against her plate. “It is not.”

“Damned sure is.”

“This place is the best Italian in San Diego.”

“According to the reviews. How many of those people have eaten your lasagna?”

“None.”

“Precisely.”

She lifted her fork to her mouth and took a bite. After swallowing, she smiled a shy smile. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Everything. For bringing me here.”

“You shouldn’t have to cook every night.”

“I like to cook for you.”

“And, from time to time, I like to take you out so you don’t have to.”

“From time to time, I’ll accept the invitation.” She took a drink of wine. “This wine is making me loopy.”

“That’s what wine does.”

She leaned forward, glanced over each shoulder, and then met my gaze. “I want to suck your dick,” she whispered.

I let out a light laugh. “You’re drunk.”

“Drunk and horny.”

“Well, there’s not going to be any dick sucking in here, and it’s pretty tough on the sled, so you’ll just have to wait.”

She rested her chin against the palm of her hand and gazed into my eyes for a long moment. “I’ll suck your dick in the street.”

“In the street?”

“Yep.”

I took a drink of my beer and studied her. She was adorable. Not because she was willing to perform oral sex on the hot asphalt, but because everything about her, when assembled, defined perfection.

She was flawless.

“I might take you up on that one of these days, but right now we need to finish our meal.”

She sat up and let out a sigh. “Okay. But the offer stands. Now, and always.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

As she ate, I studied a couple across from us. As they ate their meal, the woman frequently checked the status of her baby, who was sleeping in a car seat at the end of the table. Given the child’s size, my guess was that he or she was only a few weeks old.

I found it reassuring that instead of making excuses on why they couldn’t, that the couple found a way to go out to eat with a newborn baby.

“Did you see that little baby over there?”

She smiled. “When we came in. She’s adorable.”

“How do you know it’s a she?”

“She’s wearing pink.”

“Oh. How old you think she is?”

She shrugged. “Maybe a month. Not two or three, that’s for sure.”

“That’s cool that they brought her with them.”

“I thought the same thing.”

I found it reassuring that we often shared the same thoughts and feelings. It seemed infrequent that we disagreed on anything.

“What are your thoughts on kids. I mean, you know, when the time comes?” I asked.

“What about them?”

“It’s something we haven’t talked about. It’s like we’ve avoided the subject. Do you want kids?”

She twisted her mouth to the side, and then began poking at her food.

In the past, the thought of having children brought along with it thoughts of responsibility, restriction, and sacrifice.

When I thought about having children with Joey, the only thoughts that came to mind were joy, love, and commitment.

Beyond her, I watched as the woman carefully lifted the child from the seat, cradled her in her arms, and rocked her back and forth. The baby seemed so delicate. It hadn’t been something I’d thought about much in the past, but as I watched her, it immediately came to mind how reliant a child was on a parent’s care.

“Look.” I motioned toward the mother. “That baby’s tiny.”

Joey turned around, watched for a moment. Upon the mother noticing Joey’s interest, she waved. Joey waved in return.

The woman smiled. “|Do you have any?”

Joey shook her head.

“Not yet,” I said. “But we will.”

Joey spun around. “You want kids?”

“With you?” I asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, with me.”

“I’d love it. It’d give someone for Smokey’s twins to play with.”

Her eyes lit up. “I’d love to have a child.”

“Children,” I said. “Close to each other in age, so they get along.”

“That’d be awesome.”

“Stop taking the pill,” I said.

Her eyes shot wide. “When?”

I shrugged. “Right now, if you want.”

“You’re ready now?”

“We won’t have one tomorrow,” I said. “It takes time. I’m just saying. I’m ready.”

She smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

We finished our meal, and I paid the tab. On our way out, we took one last look at the couple, and their baby.

“She’s adorable,” Joey said as we passed.

“Thank you.”

“How old is she?”

The woman beamed with pride. “Two weeks.”

I glanced at her husband. He was smiling from ear to ear.

“Holy cow,” Joey said. “That’s young.”

“Start them out early, and they never complain. This is number four for us.”

“Congratulations,” she said.

“Thank you.”

We exchanged smiles, and Joey and I walked to the door. After grabbing a mint, I noticed a trash can buy the door.

“Let me see your purse,” I said.

“Huh?”

“Let me see your purse.”

She handed me her purse. I rummaged through it, found her birth control pills, and held them over the trash can.

“You don’t have the guts,” she said. “If you drop them, it’s on like Donkey Kong.”

They hit the bottom of the empty container with a clank.

I glanced at the canister, and then at her. “Bring it.”

She raised her index finger in front of her face, and wagged it back and forth loosely. “It’s been brought.”

She was right. I’d had been.

And I was forever grateful.