All I’ve wanted my entire adult life is to make my boys happy. I never put my needs above theirs, never did anything that I feared would hurt them. They’ve already been through a world of shit and back all because of their sperm donor, and it’s entirely my fault for being suckered by Jason’s charms. If it weren’t for their uncle, they wouldn’t have had any male influence to speak of since their father wrote himself out before Allen could walk. Even though Charlie’s life decisions weren’t always stellar back in the pre-Evelyn era, for the most part he taught them how to be a decent human being.

I can appreciate why Allen would have a hard time accepting someone as young as Braden tying to step in as a role model. Whether it’s that or something else about me being with Braden that bothers him, it isn’t something to be brushed off or ignored. I can’t risk my relationship with one of my sons to be with a man they don’t approve of. That’s a total deal breaker, even if the thought of letting Braden go makes me deathly ill.

When I catch up to my brother by the coat racks, Allen’s hurling into a bush right outside the glass doors and Connor’s standing watch over him like a prison guard.

“He’s totally loaded,” Charlie tells me with a deep frown. “Time for him to go home.”

“Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.” Rolling my eyes, I push past him en route to the doors. “Can we use your town car?”

Charlie grabs my arm, stopping me. “Hold on. We need to talk first. What’s this about you and Braden? Is it true?”

Oh Lord, here we go. I look over at the boys, making sure they’re still occupied and walk in on this conversation. Holding my chin high, I lock my gaze with Charlie’s. “We’ve been seeing each other, all right? It just kind of…happened.”

Releasing me, he rubs circles into his temples. It’s far from the Hulk-smash reaction I expected, but it’s still not the best sign. When agitated, he can be a total ass. “How long has this been going on?”

“I know what you’re thinking, Char, but I swear I didn’t seduce him. He came onto me in Vegas and then we spent some time together in California while I was there. It wasn’t a cheap fling.”

He stops his obsessive circles to read my expression. “Wasn’t? Does that mean it’s over?”

I remain tight-lipped, unable to admit aloud that I’m giving up on Braden.

“Kate, he’s just a kid.”

“No he’s not!” I snap as my face burns hot. “You clearly don’t know him at all if you can stand there and make that kind of judgment!”

Suddenly there’s hurried movements on the other side of the door, followed by raised voices. Charlie and I both start for the doors, blasted by the cold winter air as we step outside. We catch sight of Allen running away on the sidewalk.

I push on my oldest son’s arm. “He’s drunk, Con! Go after him!”

With a shake of his head, Connor refuses to budge. “He doesn’t want to be coddled, Mom. It’s better if we give him some time to cool off. He does this kind of thing all the time. He’ll be fine.”

Panic swells in my chest as I cross my arms, warding off the chill. “What do you mean he does this kind of thing all the time? What, like he runs off when drunk?”

As Charlie’s setting his suit jacket over my arms, Connor glances at his uncle and shrugs. “He’s been a lush for years. He’s just better at hiding it from you than I was.”

“Are you trying to say he was drinking in high school?” I ask, slipping my arms into Charlie’s jacket. The thought of my 4.0 son getting drunk in high school is laughable. Connor was an entirely different story—a total party animal who was lucky to keep good enough grades to get accepted into college. “We’re both talking about Allen, right?”

Connor’s eyes roll to the dark sky. “Mom. Seriously. You’re surprised by this?”

I gaze off in the direction Allen disappeared. How could I have missed the fact that my teenage son has been drinking for so long? It’s not like I was off doing my own thing. Aside from trying to earn a decent living to pay for the things my generous brother didn’t provide, the boys have been my life since I was fifteen.

Glancing Charlie’s way, I sigh. “Don’t you think we should go after him?”

“I think he needs a time-out,” he grumbles. “He’ll be alright. I’ll text him and let him know I’ll call him a ride home whenever he decides he’s ready. Let’s go inside before you freeze to death.”

My heart drops with the idea of facing Braden again. Although I meant to tell him it was over, every last part of me still wants to spend the night with him. Maybe I should still take Charlie’s car back to my apartment. As much as it would kill me to miss the rest of Shar’s reception, I need to keep a clear head and remember what’s most important in all of this.

Connor points at something behind me. “Looks like Braden’s leaving, Mom.”

I spin around, my stomach lurching when my eyes meet Braden’s. He’s standing at the curb beside a black sedan, hand draped over an open door to the backseat as Angelina crawls inside. Though his lips quirk with a smile, it’s sad in comparison to his usual cocky grin. I nearly burst out crying, knowing I’ve made him sad and knowing I won’t get the chance to see him strip out of that beautiful suit.

“You should go talk to him,” Charlie tells me. “We’ll wait for you inside.”

I feel my head bob in agreement as I start down the sidewalk with a trance-like gait toward the only man to ever truly make me happy. As I close in, he braces himself against the top of the car. I have all I can do not to throw myself into his arms to erase the unease in his expression.

“Don’t say anything we’ll both regret later,” he pleads before I’m able to get a word in otherwise. “I didn’t mean to put you in this situation, but it happened, and I’m really fucking sorry. I know you and Shar are close, so I’m not going to stick around and make things uncomfortable for you. Angie’s ready to leave anyway. I offered to take her back to Sofia’s.”

“You should come back,” I choke out through tears. “Your family wants you here.”

“They’ll see me tomorrow,” he decides, lifting one shoulder. “Dancing really isn’t my thing anyway.” Then he reaches out to brush his thumb over my cheek. “Please give it a day or two before you make your final decision. I’m in this for the long haul, beautiful. If you need time to make things right with Allen, I get it. I can either go back to Cali or stick around so you don’t have to go through this alone. It’s your call. Just don’t make any rash choices tonight. What we have deserves more consideration.”

Tears fill my eyes when he bends down to take my arm as he drops a kiss on my head.

Then his lips brush over my ear with a whispered, “I love you, Katie. Always.”

As he climbs back into the car, I wrap my arms around myself and watch until the sedan turns off onto a different street. It may not have been the end, but the sudden coolness between us felt so wrong that I burst into tears.

* * *

By the time the band plays their last song of the night, I’m pretty damn drunk. An hour or so after he left, Allen finally answered one of Charlie’s texts by saying he was crashing at an old high school buddy’s apartment in the city. I would’ve rather heard he was coming back to the reception or heading to my place, but at least I know he’s relatively safe.

“Everything will work itself out, love,” Sharlo tells me as we’re hugging goodbye. “The Kendall men have big hearts—Braden’ll understand if you simply need more time.”

“I want what you and James have. Is that too much to ask?”

“No. And you’ll have it one day. You’ll see.”

Evelyn steals me away from her new sister-in-law, looping her arm through mine. “You’re spending the night at our place. Won’t be able to have our little sleepovers as often once the baby arrives.”

I don’t argue because like I said, I’m drunk. And I’m tired. Exhausted, really. It was an emotionally charged day with the highest of highs and rock-bottom lows. I fall asleep in the town car on the ride back to Brooklyn Heights, waking to the sound of Evelyn calling my name.

Once my head hits the pillow, memories from the past few weeks rush at me with blinding clarity. There’s no denying the fact that I’m in love with Braden, and he made it clear he’s in love with me. But how long could it really last before he realizes he made a mistake, before he becomes bored and finds someone else? And what if I decided to have his baby, only to have him leave me a few years down the road? It seems half the kids in Connor and Allen’s grades came from divorced families, and I know for damn sure I don’t have the energy to raise another child on my own.

I have no idea how much time has passed by the time I’m fumbling through the contacts on my phone. Almost a full year has passed since I had a reason to contact the deadbeat bastard, so hopefully he hasn’t changed his number.

The call rings three times before his grumpy voice growls out, “Who is this?”

“Why did you leave me, Jason? Why’d you hate the idea of having a family so much?”

“Katie? Jesus Christ! It’s after midnight! Are you drunk?”

“Yes, I’m drunk. Your boys resent you, you know. They act like they’re happy and well-adjusted for the most part, but deep down I know they don’t understand why their father wanted nothing to do with them. How could they? I know we were young but dammit, Jason, we would’ve figured something out! You didn’t have to completely cut yourself out of their lives! You would be so proud if you just took the time to get to know them! They have their flaws, some of them pretty damn big, but they’re good, respectful boys, and handsome like their uncle!”

“Can we maybe do this some other time? Like when I’m totally awake and able to process why you’re yelling at me?”

“You want to know why I’m yelling at you? Are you kidding me? I spent the last twenty years on my own raising our children! If it weren’t for my family I probably would’ve been living on the streets and had to have put the boys up for adoption! Adoption, Jason! Do you have any idea what that would’ve done to me? Since they came into this world they’ve been my entire life! They’re all I’ve had no thanks to you!”

“Are you done?” he grumbles impatiently. “Because if you are, I’d like a chance to try to explain myself.”

“Go right ahead. Can’t wait to hear this.”

“We were young as shit, Katie. I have no problem admitting now that I was a selfish, immature bastard back then. The idea of starting a family at fifteen scared the hell outta me. I knew I wouldn’t be a good dad, but I decided I had to give it a try after we had Connor because I wanted to do the right thing. But then we found out you were pregnant with Allen and I lost it, I guess. By the time I realized I had made a mistake, I was married to Gretchen and she didn’t want to get involved with the boys. Addison was a year old—Gretchen didn’t want our daughter to be confused. I know that’s a pathetic excuse, but I had already screwed up and lost one family. I couldn’t lose another. Then eight years later when she asked for a divorce, I realized it was too late to introduce myself as the boys’ father. I figured you would’ve moved on by then. I was a completely different person when we were together. Now I’m embarrassed that I wasn’t man enough to step up when I had the fucking chance.”

I sigh heavily into the phone, surprised by his candor. “At least you had the choice to walk away.”

“And I thank God every day you didn’t. I know you think I’ve completely cut all ties with the boys, but I’ve been following them for years on social media under a bogus account. I didn’t want to disrupt their lives, but I wanted to make sure they were doing well. From what I’ve seen, you’ve done one helluva good job, Katie. You should be proud of yourself. It probably doesn’t mean much to you at this point if I told you I’m sorry, but if I had the chance to go back and do things differently, I would at the very least try to be there for them. For all three of you. If you want, I can send money—”

“I don’t need your money, Jason. My parents and my brother have provided the boys with everything I couldn’t give them.”

“Do you think…I mean…have they ever said they wanted to meet me?”

“When they were younger, maybe. I’m not going to push them into doing anything, but they should probably know they have a sister.”

“And two brothers,” he adds.

“What the hell, Jason? Were you hoping to start a basketball team? Is there any poor woman in New York that you haven’t stuck your dick in without a condom?”

“I deserve that,” he says with a quiet chuckle. “I’m sorry it came to this. I should’ve called you years ago. If Connor and Allen decide they want to meet their siblings, I can arrange something. Addy knows, but the twins are only four. I’m not sure their mom would agree to telling them at this point, but I could have a talk with her.”

“Are you with the twins’ mother?”

“We’re together, but she’s considerably younger, and I don’t think that generation puts a whole lot of emphasis on marriage.”

“I found someone younger too—I’m just not so sure it can work out,” I confess before letting out a long sigh. “Maybe you an’ me are both trying to get our younger days back since we screwed them up so badly.”

“Can you see yourself being happy with this guy for the rest of your life?”

With memories of our week in California, I smile to myself. “Yeah, I can.”

“Then age doesn’t matter. It took me a handful of serious relationships and nearly two decades to find someone I can’t live without. Don’t let someone like that go, Katie. You’ll always regret it.”

“Doesn’t sound like I should be taking advice from you, Jason. Just how many women were there after me?”

“Too damn many.” His deep chuckle rumbles against my ear. “You’re probably right. Go to bed, Katie. I’ll have a talk with Izzy and get back to you in a few days. Even if Connor and Allen don’t want anything to do with me, I’ll help them meet up with their siblings. They’re good kids with good moms too. I may be a total fuck up in other ways, but at least I chose good women across the board to take care of my kids.”

“Do the world a favor and get a vasectomy,” I grumble before ending the call.

I toss my phone aside, amazed I had the presence-of-mind to carry on a somewhat civilized conversation with Jason after all these years and a butt-ton of drinks. I’ve always known vodka made me do bad things, but this probably tops the list of worst ideas ever. With any luck, I won’t remember the conversation with Jason by morning.

But then I remember that in a roundabout way I agreed to have the boys meet their half-sister and brothers. Even if it could potentially be a good idea, it’s probably the last thing Allen needs after what went down tonight. I’ve got my hands full the way it is.

I need to make a final decision about Braden—one that will allow me to sleep soundly once it’s been made.