The next morning, I woke up with the most terrible headache, which even the pills couldn’t stop. As if this didn’t affect my bad mood enough, it started raining heavily, and I hated rain. The dark clouds in the sky only added to the gloom, making this day one of the worst days I’d had recently.

The day at the office just dragged on, and I barely managed to maintain calm during my one-on-one sessions, always coming back to the memory of sex with Daniel. So, when my shift ended and I headed back home, I was hoping to completely forget about the disaster of this day and make myself some macaroni and cheese to eat while watching Friends.

I regretted sleeping with Daniel—even though it had been the best sex of my life—because I’d developed feelings for him that were much more powerful than just simple lust. I’d thought I was stronger and capable of facing whichever alternative he left me with, but I was wrong. I wasn’t ready for him coming back for more. I wasn’t ready for feeling something that wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place.

Since I was aware of the nature of his problem, I was also blown away by the fact that I was the one who helped him feel. Talk about being a sexologist. I had taken my career to a whole new level!

I needed to talk to someone about this, so I called Claire on my way home and told her what happened with Daniel yesterday.

“So what’s the problem, then?” Claire told me over the phone. “Both of you enjoyed it, so that’s good, no?”

I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration, feeling the start of another headache. It was still pouring outside, so I was glad that the parking lot was nearby. I would be able to escape this rain before I got drenched.

“It’s good, but I don’t know what to do. I feel something for him that is stronger than simple lust, and it makes me feel miserable.”

“Miserable? Why?”

“Because I know that he only wants me physically. Even if he wanted to sleep with me again, it will never mean something more to him. He won’t be able to return my feelings, so I’ll be terribly hurt in the end.”

“How do you know that? What if he falls for you in the end?”

Claire—always the optimist. I chuckled, but there was no trace of humor in it. “That’s impossible. Do you realize that his issue is specific? Anything that attracts him to me has more likely to do with his sex addiction than any true feelings.”

“Now you’re generalizing, and it’s not fair. Just because he’s a sex addict, it doesn’t mean he can’t have any serious feelings. You mentioned that he felt different with you than with other girls, so that can mean something.”

“I know, but I don’t want to get my hopes up.” I got into my car and started the engine. “I have to be realistic, Claire. He has serious issues, and I’m not living in some fairytale. Even if he enjoyed sex with me more than with other girls, that doesn’t mean he can or will develop feelings for me.”

“I don’t know, Mari. I think that even if there is a ten percent chance that he might feel something for you, then you shouldn’t give up. Besides, you told me that you expected him to react the way he did in the end. He wants to see you again, and for me, that is a sign of progress.”

“He still didn’t call me.”

This displeased me the most. I couldn’t expect him to call me immediately, but I had some nagging feeling deep down that he wouldn’t call me at all. Maybe that was for the best. I was already more involved than I should’ve, and it was seriously affecting my moods and work.

“Only a day has passed, dummy. Give him some time.”

I sighed and overtook a car before I sped up. “I’m not sure if he’ll call at all. Honestly, that’s fine with me because I’m actually hoping I won’t have to see him again. I don’t know what our relationship is at the moment, but it’s already affecting me more than it should be.”

“You’re exaggerating. Just calm down and try thinking from another perspective. If nothing else, you can have some fun with him before you go separate ways.”

“Did you not just hear me say that I’ll be terribly hurt in the end if I don’t distance myself from him? I’m way past ‘having fun until it lasts’ phase. I want something serious with him, Claire, not just fun. So no. It’s better this way. It’s better if I don’t see him or hear from him anymore.”

“Whatever floats your boat,” she said, giving up on trying to convince me. “So what are you going to do? Do you plan to look for someone else?”

“Probably. At this moment, even Tinder dates sound better than this mess.”

She let out a loud chuckle. “I just hope that he’ll be more handsome than the previous one.”

“Definitely.”

It was ironic that no matter how hot that person would be, he could never get even close to Daniel’s looks. He had everything I needed in a man, and now that I finally found someone who was physically perfect for me... I’d always compare men with him, and I didn’t like that one bit.

Deciding to stop thinking about Daniel altogether, I reached my home with a new-found resolution. I wouldn’t call him or look for him. Even though he’d said that he still wanted me, that didn’t mean he would actually look for me again, so I didn’t want to delude myself with a hope that was more pointless than not.

Since he’d quit as my client, I was sure he wouldn’t appear in my clinic again, and it was for the best. This way I had more chances of dousing my feelings and coming out of this unhurt.

Several days had passed with no call from Daniel, which proved to me that he was definitely done with me. He’d probably gotten bored as soon as the sex was over, and despite telling myself I shouldn’t feel this way, it hurt. I felt dejected and angry for getting attached to him in the first place.

I was the one who was supposed to know better. Never sleep with clients. Clients were off limits. Still, I broke the rule and promise I’d made to myself, falling for the person who was unable to feel the same thing toward me. I had brought this on myself, and now I had to deal with it.

However, I didn’t want to let this bring me down, so I’d found a new Tinder date, Jack, determined to forget Daniel as soon as possible. Jack was an accountant in his thirties, with a swimmer’s body, golden blonde hair and turquoise eyes that most certainly enabled him to score any girl he wanted.

Nevertheless, his appearance did almost nothing for me, pale compared to Daniel’s strikingly-beautiful form, but I had to forget about Daniel in any way possible, thus this date.

Alison was delighted when I told her about Jack and the restaurant he’d chosen for our date, mostly because she liked the way Jack looked.

“He is sexy and he looks a bit mysterious. He would be a perfect way for you to get over Daniel!” she’d told me then, and I hoped that would be the case.

It was Friday night, and I wore a black sexy backless dress that was one of my favorites. We’d made a deal to meet at a sushi place, which was apparently one of Jack’s favorite spots. I just hoped that this guy wasn’t a douche like the last one because I had no intention to wait for him too.

Just when I was about to get out of my place, I checked my phone and noticed several missed calls and messages from Daniel, which made me halt mid-step. My frown increased as I read the messages.

“Sorry.”

“I apologize for not calling you sooner.”

“We need to talk.”

I had to read all of them twice because they confused the hell out of me. Gradually, confusion transformed into fury. Was he serious? Did he really think he could pretend I didn’t exist for days and then come back when he felt like it?

No. I wouldn’t allow myself to make a mistake and respond to him. It was better this way. In time, I was going to forget him and all these misplaced feelings would disappear. Maybe Jack was the one for me, and I was about to have the night of my life.

Ignoring all Daniel’s texts, I put my phone on silent before I headed to my building’s underground parking lot. I would not allow him to ruin this evening.

I was surprised when I entered the restaurant and found Jack already waiting for me at the table next to the window. He got one point for punctuality.

His picture didn’t do him justice because he looked even more handsome in person, which made me slightly more excited about this date. He noticed me as soon as I entered the place and gave me a once-over, approval clear in his eyes. I smiled back at him when I reached our table.

“Good evening.”

He stood up and accepted my hand for a handshake. “Good evening. It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Ford.”

His hand was warm and big, but not as masculine as Daniel’s.

No. I should stop comparing them.

“Just Marissa is okay.”

“Then just Jack is okay too.”

“Nice to meet you, Jack.”

I let go of his hand and took a seat across from him, subtly scanning his clothes. He wore a dark green tweed suit, which was more appropriate for someone much older than him. His suitcase rested on the chair next to him, which could mean that he came here straight from his work. He seemed quite nervous, and I wondered what made him so anxious.

“Do you often come to this place?” he asked me, scratching his neck.

Minus one point for the unoriginal question.

“Actually, this is my first time. I guess that since this is one of your favorite places, you really like sushi?”

“Yeah. And this place has the best tuna tataki.”

We talked about our favorite foods until the waiter brought us our orders, and then the conversation just died. I took a sip of my wine, buying some time as I searched for any topic that wouldn’t end in an uncomfortable silence.

“Did you come here directly from work?” I motioned with my hand to his suitcase.

“Right. I work until late.”

“Does that stress you?”

“Stress me? I love my job!”

He lightened up when he started talking about his job and accounting in general, which told me that the safest topic with this guy was his work. He droned on about figures, the fiscal quarters, and all other things that didn’t interest me in the least. I barely stopped myself from leaning onto my hand and staring off into the distance, almost completely tuning him out. Minus hundred points for being uninteresting.

“And then my boss told me that the decision I’d preempted was innovative and beneficial for our company, so he offered me a promotion.”

I could’ve easily missed these words, but I managed to react in time. “Oh wow. An innovative decision? A promotion? That’s great!”

“Thank you!”

He didn’t pick up on my sarcastic voice, continuing to blather, and I wanted to strangle myself. He didn’t even bother asking me anything, full of himself and clearly not interested in me. Minus a thousand points...

I really didn’t have any luck with males, did I? Either they stood me up, or they had some major flaws. This one was the most boring guy I’d ever met, no doubt, and I was already disappointed for even trying to hook up with him.

I couldn’t help but compare him one more time to Daniel, remembering the easy flow of our conversation that night in the restaurant. Daniel was never boring. Daniel made me feel various things that Jack wasn’t even close to eliciting in me.

“How about you?” Jack finally asked me after a long monologue, remembering that we were supposed to have a “conversation”. “Is your job hectic?”

I debated whether I should try just one more time and make something out of this date or just give up. Maybe it would be best if I stopped wasting my time and tell Jack politely that this date didn’t work out for me.

Then again, my experience with clients taught me to never give up easily, so I decided to be polite and answer his question.

“It can be. I also love my job and I love working with people. My work can be immensely fulfilling, especially when my clients progress toward recovery.”

Jack seemed like he was uncomfortable, glancing away every once in a while.

“What’s the matter?” I asked him, already regretting talking about my job.

“Don’t you think that your profession is a bit weird?”

I flinched, taken aback by his question. What did he just say? “A bit weird?”

He scratched his neck again, his cheeks slightly red. “Yeah. I mean, it’s sex. It’s just, I know I would feel weird if I told someone that I work with people who are...” He broke into a chuckle, unable to contain himself. “Who are sex addicts or something like that. It sounds absurd.”

I felt like he slapped me, leaving me speechless. I sipped my wine, gathering my thoughts before I confronted him.

“Do you really mean that about my profession?”

He looked away again, even redder now. “Well, it’s not quite common, right? Besides, you know what they say about addictions? They can never actually stop. So, I don’t believe that sex addicts can ever get cured.”

His reply hit close to home, reminding me of the big possibility that Daniel would never change his ways. Not that it mattered now, I had to remind myself.

“Now, listen here,” I said in a sharp tone of voice. “Don’t talk disrespectfully about my profession. There are countless cases of successfully cured patients, although I don’t have to justify my profession to you. You’re also disrespecting those people who deserve to get better. And they can get better. So I don’t want to hear you say a word about it.”

I was fuming by the end of my mini-speech, preparing to leave, when something attracted my attention. I was barely aware that Jack mumbled he was sorry, my eyes solely on Daniel who had just entered the restaurant, shocking me with his unexpected presence.

What on earth was he doing here?