Chapter Nine

Brandon

I had her four times last night, yet I still wake up with a raging erection. I’m pretty sure I’ll never have enough of her.

Though, considering I don’t intend on letting her go, I’m okay with that.

I roll over, pinning her body beneath mine, she moans, still half asleep, but her legs part, opening herself up to me.

I kiss her neck, her cheeks, her closed eyes.

“Brandon,” she murmurs and quickly covers her mouth with the back of her hand.

I chuckle, knowing she’s self-conscious of the threat of morning breath.

Yesterday after I took her for the first time, she realized how serious I was about her not being able to keep any plans. We spent the rest of the night in bed, on the kitchen counter while we made frozen pizza because that’s all the time we wanted to commit to food prep, on the living room floor when we thought we’d try to watch a movie.

“Ready?”

“Always.”

I don’t hesitate.

I plunge.

Deep and invading and hearing her cry out in pleasure and watching her head thrown back in ecstasy… it’s almost too much. Even already knowing how good it is between us, I have a hard time holding back.

And so I don’t.

I piston my hips in a punishing rhythm.

One I hope she still feels tomorrow.

“Oh God don’t stop!”

“Never. I’ll never stop.”

She leans up, morning breath be damned and kisses me square on the lips.

“Sorry – I know that’s gross and my breath is revolting but I just… oh oh oh! Yes!”

She’s so loud and perfect and morning breath or not – which she has but who am I to judge because so do I – I feel like I’m already falling.

And fall I do.

Right over the edge.

Along with her.

“Best. Wakeup. Ever.”

“I’m glad you approve.”

I smirk then press my lips against hers after grabbing a couple tissues to help her clean up.

“Breakfast?” I ask her.

“Think we can focus long enough to make it?”

I chuckle, sucking in a breath when her hand trails a figure-eight through my chest hair, much like she did last night. “I’m willing to try and if we fail…”

She rests her chin on my shoulder and winks at me. “I don’t think I’d mind failing. Not one bit.”

I answer with a grin and another morning breath kiss then slap her on the butt and walk, completely naked, into the kitchen.

“Damn fine back side you’ve got there!” she hollers then I hear the tell tail signs of footfalls on the hardwood.

I look over my shoulder just as she launches herself at me, clinging to my back.

I stumble forward and laugh, gripping her thighs with my hands. She kisses the side of my neck.

“You’re a distraction.”

“Sorry?”

“Ha! Right. You seem incredibly apologetic.”

“You’re right. I’m really not. What are you making me?”

“Nothing that splatters,” I joke, looking down at my still naked body. “But I need food, woman! I’m running dry here.”

She slides down my back and I have to work to keep my body under control, the feel of her nakedness overwhelming any common sense I may have.

“Eggs?” she asks me, looking in my fridge.

I reach around her, brushing my already growing hardness against her thigh.

She moans.

And my phone rings, interrupting the moment.

“Shit.”

She giggles.

I look at my phone and roll my eyes.

I swear she has cameras in my house, knowing when to call.

Damn I hope she doesn’t have cameras in here.

“Hey, Mom,” I answer and notice Savannah stiffens.

I bunch my eyebrows together and turn my head to the side, studying her.

She gives me a wobbly smile and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. She points in the direction of the bathroom and I nod.

“Oh my favorite son CAN answer the phone?”

I roll my eyes.

“Only son,” I correct her.

“You’re still my favorite.”

“Whatever.”

“You still mad at me?”

I sigh. “No, Mom. I’m not mad at you. Or anyone, really. I’m just…” I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to find the right words. “Disappointed.” I finally land on.

She gasps, “That’s worse!”

“Mom. Just try to see it from my point of view for once.”

“I’m trying, I promise. I am so proud of you for following something you’re passionate about but feel… left out.”

“You’re still making it about you!”

“That’s not what I mean! Listen to me, okay? I just want to be there – FOR you. You’re my son and there’s this huge part of your life you’ve kept – or tried to – hidden from us. Remember how I loved watching you play football? Or run track? It wasn’t because I wanted to brag about you. It was because I loved watching you do something you loved.”

Well when she puts it like that… but still.

“But do you understand how everything in my life has always been centered around everyone else? Whether it’s you or Barrett and Tess or Mia…”

“That’s called family, Brandon.”

I pace back and forth, now in my living room, grateful the blinds are still drawn so I’m not giving the neighborhood a free show. “But… sometimes this family is a tad overbearing.”

“Brandon.”

The sound of Savannah’s voice causes me to look up. She has one of my t-shirts on and I hope to God nothing else.

But the look on her face… that’s something I hope to never see again.

“Who’s there? Is it her?”

“Mom. I gotta go. I’ll call you back.”

And I do something I’ve never done before. I hang up on my own mom.

“Your mom?”

I nod, swallowing and for the first time feeling a little self-conscious that I’m standing here in front of her naked.

“What was she upset about?”

“The only one who knew I am in a band was Mia, and Cole, of course. But yesterday I found out that the entire family knew – and by entire, I mean my extended family that’s not really my family but people who I’ve known my whole life.”

“And?”

“And… it turns out Mia was the one who told them. Pissed me off. I came to the dock. Found you.”

“You’re upset they know? About that part of your life?”

“Yeah. They always have to have their noses in everything I do and I just… don’t have anything to myself,” I say, sheepishly, feeling like a petulant child for even saying the words.

She shakes her head lightly, closing her eyes then twisting her head, looking away.

“I don’t have much family,” she whispers.

The sound of her voice, look on her face and the way she’s twisting her hands in front of her tells me I need to be clothed for this conversation. “Hold that thought, okay?”

I quickly go to my bedroom, grab a pair of athletic shorts and pull them on before making my way back to the living room.

Without looking at me, she begins. “My parents, they left when I was sixteen.”

Shit. “Left?”

“Well, first they wrote us a note, not that it really helped. Their explanation wasn’t worth a shit. My sister, Grace. She raised me.”

“Wait. Grace? Not Lily Cole’s friend, Grace, right?”

“One in the same.”

“That’s your sister?”

“Yeah? Do you know her?”

How do I explain this?

“My um, not cousin or anything but that extended family that’s not really family? Yeah – she’s Cole’s cousin. You know, my best friend Cole, Mia’s boyfriend? And I’ve known Lily since I was born, too. Her dad, James, is really close with the family. Lily’s mentioned her friend Grace and her little sister Savannah a bunch of times. I guess I never put it together that you could be that Savannah until you said her name.”

She nods her head, seeming to follow along with my confusing six degree of separation explanation.

“Lily is one of Grace’s best friends,” she tells me though I already know but doesn’t give me time to respond before continuing her story. “I woke up the first day of summer break before my junior year of high school to a note taped to the fridge. They were gone. Not that it was that different. When I was ten, they met some new people. And stopped being parents. My sister was fourteen and did everything for me. She had to register us for school. Make our meals. Even get groceries on her bike. My parents would lay out a handful of cash on the counter and just expect us to know what to do.”

I swallow hard, nervous for whatever I’m about to hear.

“When she went to college, I was literally by myself. Nothing changed in the house aside from Grace not being there. My parents had checked completely out. Luckily, Grace wasn’t too far away. She came home almost every weekend.

“She had just completed her sophomore year in college and was home for the summer. Home,” she scoffs, “such a joke of a word that was to use.” She looks to me, finally, eyes filled with tears.

I clench my fists, somehow knowing she doesn’t want my arms around her while she’s trying to get it out but also fighting every instinct I have not to wrap her in my arms.

“I don’t know what was worse when we got the letter. The fact that deep down I wasn’t sad at all to know they were gone for good? Or knowing that Grace was actually stuck with me.”

I open my mouth to say something but she halts me with her hand up. “Grace had found an apartment, with Lily and another friend and they were going to move into it in the fall. But then…” she gestures to herself. “She found herself acting more like the mom than she ever had. One of her friends from high school, his dad was a realtor and he helped us sell the house. My parents? They didn’t necessarily just leave us. They literally left their lives behind. Put the deed to the house in my sister’s name. Cashed in their retirement plans and transferred the money to a joint account they set up for my sister and me. I guess I should be grateful. Whatever caused them to leave, they at least had the mind enough to not leave us with nothing.”

“What…” I stop myself, knowing I shouldn’t ask but she answers my unasked anyway.

“Clearly whatever they were involved in, it wasn’t good. They had more money than they knew what to do with. Or, it seemed that way. Grace always tells me that they must have loved us enough to leave, and not tangle us in whatever mess they’d gotten themselves into. Me? I know it’s because…” her voice hitches and she sniffles, tears streaming down her face. “I’m just not worthy of it,” she whispers.

My stomach drops and no longer do I care if she’s swiping away angry tears or backing away from me like she doesn’t want my comfort.

I need to make it okay.

To make her understand that she’s so worthy of love.

“No,” I tell her and wrap my arms around her stiff body. “No,” I whisper again into her hair. “You’re worth everything. Trust me. Why do you think I was going out of my damn mind over the last few days of not hearing from you?”

“Brandon. Don’t you see? This is why I didn’t reply to your calls or texts. My own parents didn’t love me enough to stay around!”

Her body comes apart in my arms, collapsing while tears wrack her body.

I guide us both to the floor and position her in my lap.

She buries her head in my chest, her tears soaking into me.

I let her cry until all no more tears come.

Not once do I let up on my tight grip I have around her.

Once her body stops hiccupping from her cries, I take her by the shoulders, pushing her away just enough so that I can look her in the eyes.

“Let me love you enough.”

Her hazel eyes, now a bright shade of green, search mine.

Whatever she finds satisfies her.

She places her lips on mine and whispers, “Okay.”

And that’s enough.