“Y ou're asking for a lot of firepower, little mama. You sure you know how to handle one of these?” The tall man in the leather cut twirls the handgun around his finger, before he slams it into his palm, fingers clutching the handle. “Relax, honey. It's not loaded. Obviously .”

“I've got your money, just like I promised inside.” I nod toward the bar. It's a living irony, the same dive where I begged Harry for a reprieve from my payments just months ago, only blocks from the ratty little apartment we used to call home .

It was the only place where I knew I'd have a chance to find my salvation. The man inside wearing the Grizzlies MC cut didn't disappoint. STRYKER, his name badge says, and he looks at me through hooded dark eyes, wondering if I'm trying to stiff him .

Sighing, I reach into my purse, scrounging for the wad of money I withdrew from the ATM. “Take it. Count it. You'll see it's all there, and then some. I don't care about making change. I need this gun today. Please . ”

He stares at me a second longer, and then his rough lips curl into a smile. “Throw it in the saddlebag. You've made it worth my while, especially with Prez cracking down on us dealing guns like we used to. Good thing I'm a long way from Redding. Follow me out back .”

He climbs off his bike, leaving me to drop his money. I tuck my jacket tighter, cold and nervous, heading behind the dirty dive into an enclosed part I've never seen before. When he pushes the cold gun into my hand, I freeze, already hating how my nerves aren't cut out for this crap .

Too bad. Need to learn fast if you want to survive, I tell myself, staring at the weapon while he comes up behind me, and unlatches the gate in front of me. It creaks open, revealing what looks like a mess of bullet riddled targets. It's a makeshift range, totally in violation of all kinds of city codes .

“I don't understand. I thought we were done here?” I whisper .

Stryker digs into his pocket, draws out the blocky lump inside, and pushes the small cardboard box into my hand. It's surprisingly heavy. “I'm giving you an extra box free. Wanna see you take a few practice hits, darlin'. If you're as bad a gunslinger as I think, you'll want to buy a few more off me .”

He's an asshole, but also a good salesman. I step into the little booth, pushing the earmuffs over my head. They're freezing cold, a stark contrast to the hot, seething blood my heart pours in my temples .

Relax. You've done this before .

It's been four years since I fired a gun. I did it then because mom insisted. She made me learn in case anyone ever broke into our crappy place while she was out, and I was alone with Vinnie. She told me I had to know how to use the firearm stashed next to her bed .

I thought it was cool at the time. It always is when life is a manageable hell and all the threats are abstract .

Lifting the weapon in front of me, I bite my lip, line my shot as best I can, and fire .

It goes off like a rocket .

It's a miracle my shoulder isn't broken. He wasn't kidding about the recoil, the firepower, the good as dead bite in this beastly little toy .

I almost forget to check how I did, but even through the earmuffs, I hear him whistle. “My, my fucking my , Sniper Girl. Let's see that shit again !”

I nearly hit the middle, dead center. But not quite. I pull the trigger several more times, adjusting better to the kick after each shot, emptying the gun until it clicks in my hand .

The biker's heavy hand falls on my shoulder. I whirl around, anger in my eyes .

His touch is too much like Cade's. But the man I gutted and loved would never look so amused with such a dirty, dark smile .

This is a game to him. For me, it's way too real, risking the ultimate sacrifice to save us from that asshole .

“Forget the fees, princess. Your ammo's on the house. Haven't seen a chick shoot like that in forever. You single ?”

“Married,” I say in a hurry, holding out my ring finger. What's one more lie on top of infinity ?

I'm still wearing it. Even though it rips a new piece of my heart out every day since I told him we were over, I can't stop, I can't take it off, and he hasn't asked to have it back .

Cade hasn't said anything .

“I need to get going,” I say. “If you've got those bullets –“

“Yeah, yeah, Sniper Queen,” he growls, leading me back to the alley where he's parked his bike. “Shame about the ring. Chicks who know a thing or two about kicking ass are hard to come by in these parts, and back home, too .”

* * *

I t's evening. I'm back in the hotel room burning through the last of my money, clutching the phone, thinking through everything I need to do .

I cleaned out my account this morning, stuffing several hundred dollars in an envelope addressed to Vinnie, sent to Cade's house. Not that they need it .

Despite the huge bitch I've been, I know he won't toss my little brother into the cold .

But every bit helps, especially if I don't survive what's coming. And if I do ...

No. I don't let myself think about the future, or the insane consequences .

I'm looking at a disaster no matter what. If Harry doesn't off me the second he realizes I'm not really there to do business, it's not like everything I've done to protect us goes away .

I can't just go running to Cade after destroying his heart .

If only he'd known the damage on my end was worse. It's hard to breathe every time I let myself remember his stern blue eyes, big and pleading, staring up at me while he gripped my hand and made that killing confession .

Love? Jesus Christ .

That's a word I wasn't sure I'd ever be ready for outside the sisterly affection left for Vinnie .

Not after the last couple years, living the unthinkable, and then agreeing to the best deal I ever made on a whim with a man I totally wasn't supposed to feel anything for .

Too bad sex changes that .

Too bad it wasn't even the sex that started it .

Too bad I've lived with butterflies since the first night we met, when he brought me to his bed, and began risking his life every screwed up second he decided to mesh his existence into mine. And without even knowing it .

It's not that I wasn't ready for love, or the heavier marriage we were supposed to treat like a cold hearted joke. On the contrary, I was .

I still am .

It's a fucking atrocity that the man I have to kill won't let me have it .

I couldn't let Cade put himself in danger for me. Couldn't even let him realize how real, how deep, how awful the danger we're in really is .

I have to save him myself, alone, and the first step is waiting for me just a quick call away .

Forget waiting for the tears to pass. They run down my cheeks anyway when I dial the number, waiting for the sharp, impatient voice on the other end of the line .

“Hello, Adele? It's Skye. I'll keep this brief. You need to get me in touch with Harry. I've got a payment I think he'll be very pleased with, and I'd love to hand it over in person ...”

* * *

W hen I wake up the next day, I wonder if I'm living the last day of my life .

Worst part is, there's no manual for how a person should approach the bitter end. I contemplate visiting my favorite coffee shop, a walk through the Seattle Art Museum, where I used to go for a cheap distraction, but none of it seems right .

There's only two places where I really belong, where I can get out the words I've sat on, before they blow everything .

I haven't seen the bridge for months. Last time I took the ferry to Bremerton, I was angry, and I cursed her out. The bums several paces away must've thought I was one of them. Just another junkie with a lot of venom aimed at the world, too messed in the head to articulate it any healthy way .

Today, I don't have the energy left to care what anybody thinks .

I'm leaning on the pillar, looking across the Sound, back out to sea. It's a rainy, hazy day. The ships are dark silhouettes moving near the ports, occasionally blasting their horns whenever they pass near the terminals .

“I still think you're a huge, selfish ass for leaving us. But would it be any different if you hadn't, mom? Knowing what he did to you, to us, it wouldn't have changed anything. Just would've made me more determined .”

I lower my head, staring into the drifting waters. Something moves below the surface, probably a large fish. Is this the spot where she ended it ?

Not that it matters. Wherever she is, she can't hear my fretting, and she certainly doesn't care .

“This is stupid,” I whisper to myself. Then I turn and start heading back to the terminal, hoping I'm able to get there to catch the next ride back .

Whatever I wanted to find here, it isn't peace. Hanging around the spot where she died just makes me more anxious. If I'm approaching the end of the road, then I'm better off spending it with someone alive who still matters .

I told myself I wouldn't, but I need to see Vinnie .

* * *

M y little brother meets me at the same chowder place where we had our huge argument before. It seems like ancient history now .

I'm enjoying the soup today more than usual. I dug in before he showed up, hoping it'd help settle my stomach, maybe bring some composure before I tell him what a fine young man he's becoming. I've got one chance to get out all the things a dying sister should say .

“You're such a drama queen, Skye.” He plops into his seat with a narrow glance, anger shining through his spectacles. “I don't know what the problem is, but he's real torn up over it. Found him in the gym last night with a bottle of rum. Poor guy looked like crap .”

“Vinnie, I didn't bring you here to talk about Cade.” My spoon stabs at what's left in my bowl, and I wonder if this is just another bad idea .

“No? Then why the disappearing act? I figured this meet up was your way of getting through to him. Finding out what he's like since you left, so you can kiss and make up. Or maybe you wanted to apologize for feeding me such a weak story, but hey ...”

I'm cringing. Inside and out .

I knew Vinnie wouldn't buy the conference excuse for long. It's not like I expected Cade to play along, really, but I wish he hadn't made it obvious I'm still in town, ruining him from afar, when I'm trying like hell to save lives .

“I just wanted to see you again. Look, things are complicated right now, and it's got nothing to do with –“

“Spare me,” he growls, ignoring the hand I've extended across the table. “You know, I thought Cade was just a rich guy and you were gold digging. I was okay with that until just recently. But he really loves you, Skye. He wouldn't be moping around the house, putting on a brave face for me, if he didn't. I asked him point-blank what was going on, and he finally admitted you two have issues. He swore up and down he'd get them figured out .”

“Well, it's not your problem. Let's just enjoy our time together, okay ?”

Please. He can't see it, but he doesn't have a clue, the damage he's doing. I don't need to spend the last few hours before the big showdown reminded how badly I've hurt him. Or is this the karma I'm owed for taking matters into my own hands ?

I don't know. Second guesses might be fatal at this point .

“Sure, sure. I'll eat the soup and smile like a good kid.” Vinnie does exactly that, an exaggerated grin plastered on his face, tapping his fingers on the table while he waits for his order. “Never talk about anything that matters, right? Shit, you're just like mom, right before she –“

He freezes before the words are out .

Bullet, meet my chest .

“That was a low blow. Sorry, sis, I didn't mean –“

I'm having the strangest sense of déjà vu. Before he's done apologizing, I sweep my hands through the air, shaking my head. “Let it go. You're right .”

He looks up, surprise twinkling behind his frames. “Wait...what ?”

“You're right about me. I've done nothing except crap all over the people who don't deserve it lately. You, Cade, Professor Olivers.” I wince on the last name more than I should. With everything else happening, I haven't had time to feel bad about skipping out on my TA duties until now. “I'm not a good person, Vinnie. I try, but I make huge mistakes. Don't be like me when you're older .”

He shakes his head, ignoring the delicious smell piping off the steaming bowl a waiter slides in front of him. “Skye, what are you saying ?”

“Nothing important. Like always. Because you nailed it, and that's not my style when things get crazy, or rough. They're kind of both right now. Someday, you'll understand. Until then, because I don't say it often enough, I just need you to know this, Vinnie, okay? I love you.” I slide my hand back across the table. This time, he lets me take his, and I'm thankful because the next part really hurts. “And yeah, I love Cade, too. Love him so much it hurts like hell, and I always will...even if there's no chance this ever works .”

He smiles softly. “Took you long enough to admit it .”

I'm puzzled. At first, I think he's just being a brat, but then I see the warmth in his face, the encouragement. His hold on my hand tightens .

No, it doesn't change anything, but damn it, it matters .

“Always wondered about you two because I never heard the L-word much. Glad you're coming around, sis. Next time cut the impossible crap. You guys will work this out. You're too good together not to. You've found your one and only, dumb as it sounds .”

Now, I'm the one smiling like a fool .

He's a sweet kid. I'm grateful Cade has his back, whatever happens. He'll keep my brother safe, at least until they figure out what to do .

I'd owe him my life for that, if I didn't have to risk it facing down a demon .

“You're right, Vinnie. I don't know about the future, but I know what's true. We were made for each other. Always and only inevitable .”

We eat the rest of our soup in peace. Before he goes, I reach into my purse, and hand him an envelope. The note I wrote Cade this morning is sealed inside. I'm careful to tap the edge with my thumb, where I've written Vinnie's only instructions in huge bold letters .

DO NOT OPEN. CADE ONLY .

We share an anxious look. “That's for Cade's eyes only, understood ?”

Vinnie gives a look like he gets it for once. I hope to God he does .

I hug him for the last time before he hops on his bike. I'm frowning because it looks like a shiny new set of wheels, probably a gift from Cade. There's a million things I could say about the man I've abandoned giving my little brother a new toy, but this isn't the time .

For once in my miserable life, I hold the criticisms in .

Vinnie rides away, looking back exactly once. Fresh tears sting my eyes, but I'm too determined to let them fall. The time for mourning ended hours ago .

Now, it's time for vengeance. For duty. For everything I always promised I'd die doing – protecting the people I love – even if it takes my very last breath .

I say a quiet prayer for protection, good luck, and whatever else a girl who's never shot another human being in anger needs. It seems so hollow after the last secret wish, just minutes ago .

I prayed my dinner with Vinnie was the last time I'll ever have to lie to someone I love .