Chapter 10: All I See
Melissa
Channel after channel passes on the screen, but nothing interests me. I can’t help wondering what might be happening miles away in Baltimore, and I chew my lip as I watch the talking heads blink and disappear, one after the other. I’m about to give up and start Internet shopping when my phone buzzes.
Snatching it up, I touch my best friend’s picture on the face. “Hey, what’s up?”
Elaine’s voice is pouty. “Are you as frustrated as I am?”
I fall back on the sofa. “Not yet, but I’m used to the weekly drought. Check with me tomorrow. I’ll be climbing the walls I’m sure.”
“After being with Brian you’d think I’d be used to it. Hell, I think my hymen grew back when we were dating.”
That makes me laugh. “You’re so crazy. That doesn’t happen.”
“Now I’m completely screwed.” She crunches something in my ear. “I’ve gotten used to Patrick being in my panties every night—I don’t know what to do when he’s gone.”
“Haven’t you been doing it over the phone?”
“Mmm…” Another crunch. “That’s actually more frustrating. He tells me all this dirty stuff he wants to do to me, and he’s a million miles away! It’s awful!”
“You’re supposed to finish while you’re on the phone, dum-dum.”
“I’m still all achy and needing him.” I hear her sit up fast. “Do you have a dildo?”
Laughter bursts out of me then. “I have Derek.”
“Not all week! What are you hiding? I bet you have a stash.”
Picking up the remote, I start the kaleidoscope of channels again. “I hate to disappoint you, Miss Gold Tie, but I’m not hiding a toy collection.”
“Hmm. Neither am I. We should do some research tomorrow night when I’m there.”
“What are you eating?” I’m back to watching the faces flash past on the screen.
“Popcorn. Do you want me to run by the store before I come over? After school?”
“Yes. Get chips and salsa, guacamole, tamales…”
“Real and virgin margaritas.” She pauses for a moment. “Are you doing okay? Really? This has to be bothering you.”
I stop switching channels on a talent competition and hit mute. “I’m not sure how I feel. Derek’s so convinced I’m in danger, and I can’t change his mind. I won’t let my mind travel to what he might do—the lengths he might go to.”
“Patrick’s there. He won’t let anything happen they can’t sit on. Or get out of.”
I know she’s right, but I know something more. My mind drifts to my conversation with Patrick a week ago. “He promised me…”
Elaine keeps talking. “I gotta be honest, I don’t know how you two can keep up the long distance. I hate it.”
“No shit. I’m starting to remember how obnoxious you were before Patrick relocated.” Bending my elbow so I can prop my head on my hand, I gaze out the window at the swaying sea oats. “We’ve agreed to end it after this job, but even if that means more time for me in Princeton, I’m not giving up my place here.”
“I love your cottage. I wish it were warm enough to sunbathe all weekend. You’ve got the best spot for going topless.”
Lying back, I stretch my arms over my head. “One more month and you can attempt to get arrested on my beach all you like.”
She laughs. “I have a feeling your beach sees plenty of risky business without me. Besides, we’ve got connections. See you tomorrow.”
“Night, Lainey.”
For a few minutes after disconnecting, I lie there and flip through photos of Derek on my phone until I can’t decide if it makes me feel better or worse. I stand and go to the kitchen to heat water in the kettle. Maybe chamomile tea will help me relax.
Turning my back to the counter to wait for the whistle, I type up a text. He’s probably not in a position to reply, but I want him to know…
Miss you so much. It’s hard to sleep outside your arms.
Holding my phone, I think of his lovely face on my pillow. At least the bed still smells like him, even if I’m not clutched tight against his chest. My phone vibrates.
Miss you too. Hope to finish here soon.
Imagining our reunion provokes a little tingle. I have a special red nightie waiting for you.
You’re beautiful in red.
You’re beautiful in everything.
You’re beautiful in nothing. My favorite.
A pouty sigh escapes my lips, and I’m as frustrated as Elaine. I want him here now. Please be careful. Remember Dex and I need you.
No matter where I am, you are all I see.
My insides melt, and I kiss my phone face before typing. I love you.
Love you more. Sleep. I’ll be there soon.
I’ll try. xxx
With a deep breath, I look once more at the images on my phone trying not to feel miserable. My thumb pauses on a shot of me Derek took a while back. I’m smiling, and my hair’s blowing across my face from the side. The little gold heart at the base of my throat catches the light.
Placing my phone on the counter, I snatch up the flashlight and run out to the side porch. Shining it all around, I get down on my hands and knees and feel under the small sofa one more time. Again, I come back with nothing.
Frustrated, I sit back on my heels and look out at the dark night toward the shoreline. The doors are all locked, and I promised Derek I wouldn’t do any more night walks until he’s back. Still, I can’t help wondering if I lost it out there somewhere. Maybe a metal detector…
Just then the whistle starts loud from the kitchen. I push up from the floor, and walk slowly in the direction of the noise as my thoughts travel across the miles to where he is. He’s taking a huge risk. Everything could go wrong, and he could lose his license, his business…
Exhaling a tiny prayer to Saint Michael, I take the kettle off the fire and pour the water into my waiting mug.