Chapter Fourteen
The next morning, Michael entered the kitchen feeling happier than he had in a long time.
Amber had been asleep on her feet last night. She should probably still be in bed, but instead, humming, she moved around the kitchen. The tune was a Christmas carol, of course. But seeing she was happy, too, he wouldn’t complain about it.
Or about the smile she sent his way.
“We still have a lot to do to set up for the auction at noon.” She gestured toward the stove, where meat waited in a frying pan set next to a square griddle. “I figure we should be fortified for the morning, and lunch might be later than usual. So we’ve got pancakes and sausage on the menu today. Is that okay with you?”
“That’s great with me. Kris Kringle Kakes, I presume?”
She laughed. “Of course not. The Barnetts don’t follow in Anatole’s footsteps when it comes to naming food.”
“Good thing. I couldn’t handle that this early.” But he was teasing. This morning, seeing her bright smile and hearing her carefree laugh, he could handle anything—even another go-around with Penny and her colic. Not that that had been so bad last night. Penny had seemed to quiet quickly once he’d walked the floor with her.
He stopped by the playpen to check on the sleeping baby. “Looks like an angel now, doesn’t she?”
“A Christmas angel?” she teased.
“Don’t start. But talking about coming up with names, how did you decide on the baby’s?”
Her smile dimmed. She ran her fingertips along the top edge of the playpen. Looking down at her daughter, she said softly, “She’s my lucky Penny.”
Just as quietly, he said, “What happened, Amber?”
He didn’t need to explain. Her one quick breath told him she knew what he was asking. He didn’t want to destroy her happy mood, but he wanted—needed—to know why his question about the baby had taken her smile away.
She sighed, not looking at him, and he thought she wouldn’t answer. After a while, she said, “I’ve never been shy about wanting a lot of kids. When I got married, we both agreed we would start a family. And when I got pregnant almost right away, I was overjoyed. But as soon as I told him, he was so over it while I was still getting used to the joy.”
He covered her hand with his.
“We’d been having problems, but I never knew they were that bad.” She was silent for a while, then went on, her voice suddenly shaking. “Later the same day I’d told him about the baby, I came home from the grocery store to an empty apartment. I didn’t catch on until I saw his phone charger gone from the kitchen counter. Then his razor and toothbrush missing from the bathroom. Drawers in the dresser empty. His half of the closet cleaned out, down to and including the hangers.”
And judging by her bleak expression, the discoveries had ripped out a piece of her heart.
He squeezed her fingers gently. “I’m sorry.”
It couldn’t help. Nothing he could say would take away the pain she’d lived with for so long. The husband sounded like a louse who had kicked back and enjoyed his perks but didn’t want the responsibility that went with them. The friend who borrowed money without paying it back had preyed on her generosity and good nature. And he…
He was no better than they were.
He’d gotten close to her even when they weren’t in public.
He had tried to grab what he wanted, without listening to what she’d told him, time and time again. Without facing the truth.
The doorbell rang, startling him. Probably some of her family, since he didn’t know anyone else in Snowflake Valley that well. Oddly enough, the thought didn’t bother him. Even more odd, he found himself looking forward to seeing any of the Barnetts again.
“I’ll get it,” Amber said, backing a step away from him. She met his gaze for a moment, then turned and hurried from the room.
After he’d watched her go, he took a seat and stared at the flowers in the Santa sleigh in the middle of the table.
He might not have realized what he’d done to Amber until now, but he’d told her the truth about himself last night. He was used to taking care of babies.
He had been comfortable holding Penny and unexpectedly pleased at knowing he had helped calm her down and get her to sleep. At knowing Amber had felt comfortable enough to drift off and trust him with her baby. He could…
He could care for both Amber and her child. But he’d watched his stepmother undercut everything his dad had tried to do for her kids. How would Amber act in the same situation?
He’d never know. Attempting a permanent relationship, having a family, and especially taking on the role of stepfather weren’t choices he was willing to make. He couldn’t.
The sound of male voices, then heavy footsteps approaching from the front entry, made him frown. The voices didn’t sound like Nick or either of Amber’s brothers. But who else would have dropped in this early in the morning at a secluded mountain lodge?
As Amber walked into the kitchen, he found his answer.
She was followed closely by three of the reasons he’d come to the lodge to be alone.
…
As she prepared breakfast, Amber discovered the least of her worries was whether or not there were enough sausages to go around.
When the three males standing on the front porch had introduced themselves as Michael’s brothers, she had been thrilled. At last, he would have the chance to spend a holiday with his family, to strengthen his bonds with them, as she had hoped.
Then she had walked into the kitchen with Michael’s brothers following her. The brief flash of emotion she had caught in his eyes made her hopes evaporate like the water drops she’d used to test the heat of the griddle.
She transferred the last stack of pancakes onto one of the waiting platters and turned toward the table.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, forcing a bright tone. “And there’s no worry at all about putting you up. All the rooms are ready for guests.” She glanced at Michael, waiting for him to second her welcome. Foolish hope. Yet, when the other three males turned to look at him, she raised her brows, sending him silent encouragement. Or maybe a plea.
To her relief, he nodded. “Yeah. Glad you could visit.”
“Right in time for Snowflake Valley’s Winter Festival, too,” she said. “Plus, there’s an auction opening today.” She set the platters of pancakes and sausages on the table and took her seat.
“Right,” Michael said. “Your arrival is…good timing.”
Derek, the one she had spoken to on the phone, speared a sausage with his fork and took a bite. “That’s the way you get ahead in life, taking advantage of things whenever you can.”
“One way,” Michael said with the faintest edge in his tone.
“So,” she said quickly, “where do you all fall in the family order?”
“I’m the fourth,” Derek announced. “I’ve got a different dad than these three guys. And I’m not related to Mike at all. Am I, Mike?”
“Only by marriage,” he answered.
Again, she heard that edge in his voice. She pushed away both guilt and relief. Not telling him about her phone conversation with Derek had been the right decision, after all.
She looked at the two boys seated across from her, who had introduced themselves as Raymond and Lee. They appeared to be in their late teens. “And how about you two in the family order?”
“We’re half-brothers with Michael,” Raymond said. “I’m after Derek and our two older stepbrothers.”
No wonder they hadn’t built relationships, if they all focused on the divisions in their family instead of possible connections.
Raymond tilted his head toward Lee. “This one’s the baby.”
“I’ll give you baby. I can outwrestle you any day.”
“Yeah, right.”
Recalling what Michael had told her the other day about flying fists and broken glasses at his family’s table, she jumped in. “Well, it’s great to meet you all. I’ll have to introduce you to my brothers and sisters later.”
“Are the girls as hot-looking as you?” Derek asked.
“Derek,” Michael said.
The other man shrugged. “Just calling it as I see it.”
“Just don’t. Amber’s your hostess.”
“I thought she was the housekeeper.”
She wanted to cry at yet another reminder of that fact. She wanted to get out of this situation before Michael found out she had gotten him into it. “I am the housekeeper. And right now, the cook.”
“A great cook,” Lee said with a grin that reminded her faintly of Michael’s. “The pancakes were awesome.”
“Thank you.” She smiled back at him.
Like the smell of breakfast sausage, a silence hung over the kitchen. It was broken only by the sounds of forks hitting plates and coffee mugs thumping against the tabletop. So different from mealtimes with her family, when two and three conversations went on at once.
Finally, she said, “I’m glad you arrived in time for breakfast. Michael and I will be leaving soon to help set up for the auction. You’re welcome to come, too, and give us a hand. Or just hang out at the festival. Or visit some of the sights in town. There’s plenty to see in Snowflake Valley. Isn’t there, Michael?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said. “You won’t want to miss a stop at the Candy Cane.”
Now his tone was edged with sarcasm. He was still mocking her hometown. And why did either of those things surprise her? They’d shared a few moments of closeness last night and again this morning. But when it came to their basic differences, nothing had changed.
She blinked to clear her suddenly blurry eyes and turned back to his brothers. She was only the housekeeper and cook, and she was going to act like it. “If you’ve brought bags with you and would like to get them from your car, I’ll take you upstairs to your rooms.”
The brothers showed their enthusiasm for her offer by the screech of chair legs on the floor and the stomp of boots across the kitchen. She reached for the empty dishes and rose from her seat.
Michael rested his hand on her arm. The warmth of his fingers nearly made her fumble one of the platters. His dark-eyed gaze, steady on her, made her feel even warmer.
“I apologize for Derek,” he said, “since he doesn’t have the manners to excuse himself.”
“What’s to excuse?” she asked flippantly. “What girl wouldn’t like being told she’s hot-looking?”
“Then I’ll tell you. You’re hot. You’re beautiful. And you’re—” He snapped his mouth shut and took his hand from her arm.
Her pulse thrummed. You’re…what? Off-limits? Taken? Mine?
“—you’re too good for him,” he finished.
Heartbroken, she forced herself to say evenly, “I don’t know about that. Lately, it seems I’m not good enough for anybody.”
“It’s not you at all, Amber. It’s—” He shook his head. “Forget it. Just don’t let my brothers get to you. And don’t fall for anything they tell you.”
“Then Derek doesn’t really think I’m hot-looking?”
He glared at her. “That’s not what I mean. Listen, the two younger boys aren’t as bad but Derek and his brothers are nothing but trouble.”
“Maybe that’s because you haven’t established a good relationship with them. But if you tried—”
“I’m done trying.”
“But…they’re here. You’re not going to tell them to leave, are you?”
“No, I won’t do that. Especially with another storm front on the way. But don’t expect me to be as happy as you seem to feel to have them here. I told you once before, we’re a family of mutts. We never spent enough time together to develop relationships. And that’s fine by me. In case you haven’t picked up on it from what else I’ve said, I more or less raised myself—and the kids, too, in their earlier years.”
At the slamming of the front door and the sound of footsteps, he lowered his voice and spoke in a rush. “Relationships? Family? Forget it. They’re nothing but trouble. I’ve told you how I feel about them.”
“Yes, you have,” she said sadly, turning away with the empty platters.