Alexis
January and February flew by and we were halfway through March. I tried not to think about May, about graduation and Greyson leaving, but it followed me like a dark cloud. We were in the library. He was working on a sketch and I was researching his family. The papers Callum had given me were the copies of household journals, dating back to the fourteenth century. Handwriting from people who had died centuries earlier, proof they had lived. It was incredible. There were pictures too, portraits from the gallery of the Ratcliffe ancestors. And like Callum had said, the diamond was in several of them.
“The fire Callum mentioned, it was pretty substantial.”
Greyson looked up from his sketch. “They did an incredible job with the rebuild because you can’t tell.”
“Do you have a sketch of home?”
He flipped through his spiral ring then pushed it across the table to me. It really was a castle, a medieval one with circular towers and battlements, archways and hundreds of glazed windows. Ivy grew over the weathered stone and garden beds wrapped around it. It was old, massive and beautiful.
“I can’t believe you live there. When will you go back?”
“I don’t know.” His eyes met mine. “I meant it, Alexis, I want you to see my home.”
I wanted that too. Maybe one day I would.
He grew playful when he teased, “Did you know Stephanie asked me to prom?”
Stephanie. She really was persistent. “When?”
“Last week.”
“Doesn’t she know you and I are together?”
“Yeah, but she doesn’t want to believe it.”
An unpleasant sensation moved down my spine. I understood the enticement, I really did, but we were together, a fact that had circulated through the school. For her to continue her pursuit of him was a little disturbing.
He leaned back in his chair, stretching his legs out in front of him. “Don’t you want to know what I said to her?”
“Hell no, I hope.”
“I told her it was up to my girl if we went.”
I dropped my head on my hand. I had no doubt my eyes went all dreamy before I asked, “Who’s your girl?”
He looked wicked when he said, “If you have to ask, I’m not doing it right.”
“You’re doing it right.”
He tugged on my hair. “I know. We can go to prom if you want, but I was thinking of doing something different.”
Where my thoughts went in response, yeah I think doing something different was a really good idea.
He moved so fast, pulling my mouth to his. “That wasn’t what I was thinking, but I’m all for that.” He bit my lower lip. “So?” he asked.
“What were we talking about?”
He grinned. “Prom.”
“I’m not really into prom.”
“Good answer.” He stood, grabbed my hand and pulled me into the stacks. He pressed me up against the wall, his body crowding me. “My girl,” he whispered then he kissed me.
“What are you doing up there?” Dylan called from the base of the tree house. When we were younger, we had practically lived here.
“Just thinking.”
Dylan’s head appeared in the cutout of the floor. “About what?” He answered his own question. “Greyson?”
“I’m in love with him.”
“I know.”
“How do you know?”
“I’ve known you since you were six.” He settled in the beanbag next to mine. “How are you handling him leaving?”
“I’m not at the moment.”
“Denial.”
“Yeah.”
“When is he leaving?”
“I don’t know. That’s not entirely true.” I pulled a hand through my hair and clarified, “I don’t want to know.”
“You guys work. Too bad your timing sucks.”
“Big understatement. Do you and Dom still want Berkley?”
“Yep.”
“It’s a good thing, all of us going off to pursue our dreams, but it kind of sucks too. I’m going to miss you knuckleheads.”
His eyes were surprisingly bright when he knocked me in the shoulder with his own. “We’re not leaving for another year, so cut that shit out.”
He was right, but that year was going to fly. This one certainly had.
I was working when Greyson entered. He strolled to the booth he always sat in when here; he caught my eye on the way and smiled. I loved him. I loved the way he walked and how he didn’t assess a room when he entered. I loved those long locks that framed his beautiful face and how he was always carrying that spiral ring. I loved the way he looked at me, like I was his favorite sight and how even when we were just talking he touched my cheek or my jaw, playing with my hair like he was making sure I was there. I loved how I felt around him and the person I was around him. I was almost seventeen and yet I had found the love of my life and in a few weeks he was leaving. Just the thought caused a wicked pain that stole my breath.
I joined him, resting my hip on the booth.
“I heard you have a birthday coming up,” he said in way of greeting.
“Was it Paige or her girls?”
“Her girls. I saw them the other day at the market. Weren’t you going tell me?”
I shrugged; I didn’t really get into the whole birthday thing. “It’s just a birthday.”
“I guess you don’t want your present then.”
I liked presents. “I’ll take the present, you know, since you went to the trouble of getting me one and all.”
“It’s what I thought we could do instead of prom.”
“I’m intrigued.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope.
“Is that it?”
“Yep.”
He offered it, but when I reached for it he pulled it away.
“Tease.”
He laughed then handed it to me. I opened the envelope and my smile dropped from my face.
Tickets to The Cure.
It was a dream to see them, but none of my friends liked them. I never thought I would. Seeing them with Greyson, my eyes stung at the greatest gift I had ever been given.
“Alexis?”
I was crazy out of my head in love with him. My heart was so full and yet it hurt. We were running out of time. I kissed him, leaned over and right there in the diner I kissed him like it was my job. He wasn’t shy about kissing me back.
“Is that a yes?” he asked against my lips.
“It’s a hell yes.”
The bus was relatively empty. Greyson and I took seats toward the back. I had brought my journal and he his sketchpad to whittle some of the time because it was a four-hour bus ride to San Francisco.
“When did you know you wanted to be an artist?”
“Sounds crazy, but the first time I picked up a crayon. I love the entire process of creating something from nothing. Thinking it in your head and bringing it to life with your hands.” Our eyes met. “You have to know what that feels like with your writing.”
I did.
“When did you know you wanted to be a writer?”
“In the beginning, my stories kept me company. My foster parents wouldn’t play with me, so I created friends. In my stories, I could go anywhere and do anything. My characters kept me company.”
He unclenched his jaw. He didn’t like my foster parents. “And now?”
“I love getting lost in my imagination, creating worlds and characters that are real to me. And if even just one person finds an escape when they need it, or a lonely child finds a companion in the pages, I will consider myself a success.”
He reached into his bag and pulled out a pack of Pop-Tarts. “Because I know how much you love them.”
I scrunched up my face. He handed me one, took the other for himself, then lit a match from a box he had in his bag. “Happy birthday, Alexis.”
Tears hit my eyes.
“Make a wish.”
I wished for him.
I blew out his version of a candle and we ate our Pop-Tarts. I hated Pop-Tarts, but I loved that one.
I rested my head on his shoulder. “I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I’m so glad your art brought you to Mendocino.”
The concert was awesome. By the end of the show I had no voice left from screaming and singing along. Catching a glimpse of Greyson, I saw that he was watching me not the concert.
When “Just like Heaven” started, I reached for his hand. He had other plans. He yanked me against him and kissed me long and hard. “Just like Heaven” became, and would remain always, my favorite song.
After the concert we found a late night diner, one that catered to truckers, and ate pancakes at midnight. By the time the bus rolled in we were exhausted. A few minutes after we took our seats, we were both sound asleep.
The bus pulled into the depot, but I didn’t want our time to end. Greyson wasn’t ready either. We reached his bike that was parked at the depot when he said, “There’s somewhere else I want to go.”
We went to the bluffs. We walked, but spoke very little. We seemed more content to just be in the other’s company. The day had been the best of my life and even when I was old and gray it would still rank at the very top.
Greyson broke the silence when he said, “I want to ask you to come with me.”
“And I want to say yes, but I still have a year left of school.”
“With how I’m feeling, I believe we can make it work, that you and I are only at the beginning, but life often has other plans.”
My throat went tight hearing him voice my greatest fear.
His expression was intense. “Promise me if we lose touch, you’ll look me up. A year, two, ten.”
I couldn’t stand the thought of life continuing on with us apart, that this past year was all we’d ever have. “I promise.”
“I love you, Alexis.”
My eyes burned and my throat went tight. He loved me. I knew he did, but we had never said the words. “I love you.”
Silence followed as we marked the moment, then he kissed me, hungrily, greedily, his tongue tasting, exploring, memorizing. Desire pooled in my belly. He curled his arm around my waist, lowered me to the ground and settled in the cradle of my body. I dragged my hands through his hair, wanting more of him. He rubbed himself against me, hitting my clit and sending pleasure shooting down my legs. I hooked my heels around his thighs and moved with him. My body grew tight with the pending orgasm.
Then he was gone, sitting back on his legs looking guilty. “I’m sorry. We shouldn’t do this here.”
“Why not?”
His head jerked to me; love and lust burned in those pale eyes. “You deserve better.”
“No one’s here and it’s our special spot. I can’t think of a better place to make love.”
His mouth came back down on mine. There was an urgency about him, like he was trying to get his fill. My heart cracked because we had run out of time. I touched every part of him, memorizing his body, his taste, the feel of those long locks between my fingers, the weight of him over me.
“No condom,” I whispered.
“But you could get pregnant.”
Maybe, but I didn’t care. I touched his face. “No condom. I need to feel all of you.”
I’ll never forget how he looked just then. Love, pure and simple. He was deliberate when he joined us and so achingly sweet. He made my body sing, but it was my heart he was touching, branding and claiming even as it was breaking. He stayed buried inside me for a while after, both of us unwilling to let the other go. He kissed me; saying goodbye without words and though I was dying inside, that kiss would go down as the most beautiful kiss of my life.
We dressed slowly, prolonging the inevitable. He pulled me into his arms, and buried his face in my hair. “You’ve changed my life.”
I lost the battle with my tears. “And you’ve changed mine.”
He drove me home and walked me to the door. “Remember your promise.”
“I’ll remember.”
He touched his lips to mine and let them linger before he whispered, “Goodbye.”
My heart shattered as I watched the one person I wanted most in the world walking out of my life. I wanted to beg him to stay, but instead I watched him climb onto his bike. His eyes found mine and we shared a moment. Unspoken words that were understood…one day we would pick up where we left off because we weren’t at the end. We were only at the beginning.
The following morning, Greyson left Mendocino and he took my heart with him.
Greyson 1998
“The saturation is outstanding and the flow is organic, but you could make better use of your negative space and even in landscapes there should be a focal point to pull the eye, to entice. It’s also imperative you keep your brushes in good condition. Your detail work is a little off here. You should have used a new round brush. Do you see your lines are not precise? That small distortion distracts from the image.” Philippe Rainier, a brilliant artist and also my tutor, studied me like he had my painting. “It is the little mistakes that separate a master from an apprentice.”
He dismissed me and turned to Colin, my agent. “You were right to bring him to me. We have work, but he has it.”
The man was a genius when it came to art, social skills on the other hand.
“Let’s work on negative space,” he announced and pulled a blank canvas from the pile stacked against the wall.
“We’re up at five tomorrow morning. Our flight to London is at nine. After London, we have Paris and I’ve just confirmed a show in Amsterdam. I know you’re exhausted, but we need the exposure.”
I could seriously sleep for a month.
He grinned; the man read my thoughts as easily as I could read Alexis’. “I told you going in, the first five years were going to be nonstop. There’s no time for anything but learning, promoting and working. You put the time in now, once you’re established you’ll be able to set your own schedule. Get some sleep.” Looks were deceiving when it came to my grandfather’s friend. The man never slowed down. He was determined to make me a household name, I appreciated all of his efforts, but damn there was only one speed and that was fast.
“I’m already packed.” I had never unpacked.
“See you in the morning.”
“Night.”
The door closed behind him. Pulling a hand through my hair, fuck I was tired. When I wasn’t with Rainier, I was doing interviews or working on my art. I’d started dabbling in clay, loved the process of sculpting. My days were scheduled, right down to eating and sleeping. I kept my eyes on the prize, was grateful I had people helping me, but it was exhausting.
I should go to sleep. Morning would be here in only a few short hours, but I had something more important to do. I pulled the painting from my leather portfolio. So many memories flooded my mind; it was just a year in my life, and yet that one year changed me. I missed her so fucking much. We tried to keep in touch, but with my crazy ass schedule and hers, it wasn’t easy. I thought about her all the time. Every new experience was one I wanted to share with her. Maybe what we had was just young love and in time it would fade to a really great memory, but it had been a year since I left and I was still just as captivated by her as I’d been that first day on the beach. I loved her even then. Wherever our lives led us, I vowed to find her, to give us a chance to pick up where we left off. In the meantime, my memories would keep me going.
I added my signature then pulled out a piece of paper. I’d have the concierge mail it tomorrow. It should arrive in time.
Alexis
Paige and Grant threw a graduation party for me. I couldn’t believe I was leaving for New York in a few days. I was both terrified and excited. The twins drove me home. We were spending the night in our tree house. Hurrying up the drive, I saw the package. My hands were shaking when I brought it inside and unwrapped it, tears followed. It was my jetty, so beautifully captured, as if he’d read my mind and captured the image I had there. I smiled to myself. He’d always been able to read me so well. I brushed my fingers over his signature. There was a note.
Congratulations, Alexis. Good luck in New York City. Here’s a little piece of home to take with you. I miss you. Love, Greyson
My tears dripped onto his note, the words whispered softly but felt so deeply. “I love you.” One day we’d find a way back to each other.