nine
Oz
Oz watched fondly as Molly stifled a yawn. “We should get back before it gets too late.” He situated her towel around her body more securely. “Our clothing should be warm now.”
“I do feel a little tired,” she confirmed.
Oz packed the scalvoskapp back in his bag. Perhaps it had been cruel to show her, but he wanted — or needed — Molly to know that Earth wasn’t completely gone. It was still completely out of reach though. Her reaction had only shown him how much that hurt her.
The thought of her leaving cut at his insides, but what she’d asked for was true. He could override the settings — it would be child’s play for him — and send her back to her home, to the same portal that had brought her to him.
For the Mahdfel, he needed a child. He couldn’t really send her back before. But after? …He didn’t get the feeling she would leave her child with him.
If he kept her with him until she had his child, she would be his forever.
He bent down to kiss her. He felt like he needed to get in as many kisses as he could before it was too late, like knowing that his death was at the next battle, so he had time first to say goodbye.
He could have Seban check for him; see if she was pregnant. If she wasn’t, he should let her go now before it got any harder. This sent a silent, mirthless chuckle through him. Harder than this? It was too late really for him. She already owned his heart and his body. How could it ever grow easier to lose that?
As they climbed into the Vritz, he dug their clothing out of the shuttle’s dryer. They dressed carefully in the cramped shuttle, and he felt a strong desire again to lie with her, to prevent her attempts to dress. He got ahold of himself quickly. He was acting like one of the non-Mahdfel youths of his home world.
When they reached the age of men, they would group up and lie with many females, naturally forming small groups that had sex constantly during the mating rush. The many pregnancies from that time would be shared by a group of mated adults who would raise the child together, several men and women forming a verlok, a tree-clan of non-biological Bonded Brothers and Sisters.
This must be that same need, but all directed at one woman: his woman.
For his mother’s people being with only one mate was a difficult concept. When the Mahdfel had first come to the Vargys planet, they’d formed small verloks and included the one Mahdfel mate. The male had to endure others copulating around him while only being able to have one woman, only at times, for himself.
Many Mahdfel left as it was too hard for them to see their women shared with others.
Oz knew little of his father, but he could understand the difficulty. Many of the Vargys-Mahdfel his own age had also left when they’d reached that age, and they faced the choice of having no woman. Better the coldness of space and the hope that someday a match could be found.
It was how so many of the Vargys-Mahdfel were off-planet when the outbreak began.
He reached over to strap her in, pulling tight on the straps. “Are you ready for the journey back?”
She looked back at him with such a soft, trusting expression.
He kissed her deeply until she was breathless. He hooked his own harness, made the quick calculations, and they jumped to warp.
His Molly was quiet for most of the journey, but he caught her with a hand upon her belly absently.
Perhaps she hoped for a child?
What did he hope for now?
When they’d returned to the station, he guided her down the corridor to his room and opened the door for her. He was pleased when she entered with no objections.
They stripped down and climbed into bed together, their limbs comfortably entwined, her head resting on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head.
Oz couldn’t sleep much that night. He just listened to her breathing as he watched the Xeo Tarlith from his viewscreen.
~
Molly
The next morning Molly woke to an empty bed and a blinking file. She pushed the button, and his soft voice filled the room.
“Morning, mah lo ma. I didn’t want to wake you, but I needed to run some checks on Xeo. Seban wants to see you later, just to check on things.”
She adjusted the volume down and played the message twice more, the recorder held close to her ear as though he whispered to her. His voice sent happy shivers coursing through her.
With a sigh, she reached for her jeans and stuffed the recorder into a pocket. She felt like a giggly school girl who’d found out her crush liked her back.
She pulled her clothes back on from yesterday, realizing she’d need to make the shame walk to pick out new clothing. All of it was silly. If she were a modern, normal, rational girl, she’d just move her clothes in here as Oz had asked. Why hadn’t she just done that? The whole thing bordered on crazy.
She smoothed her pocket out so the recorder didn’t jostle in her pocket and felt the edge of her mom’s note. It seemed right that the two most important things to her were so close together.
Seban was on board the Xeo checking some readings on the mineral they collected. “Good morning, Molly. It is a pleasure to renew the connection. I trust you had a pleasant night.”
Molly blushed, remembering Oz’s hands on her body. “Yes,” she managed. “Very, uh- pleasant.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I trust you are getting on all right. The crew is not giving you any trouble, and Oz is kind to you?”
“Everyone has been very nice to me.”
“I’d like to run a scan, if it is amenable to you. Make sure we do not need to take any new precautions for you.”
She hesitated as nerves ran through her. This was it. She leaned back on the seat, and the doctor ran his scanner over her. After a moment of reading the results, he commented, “Good. Everything is in order. You are doing well. You have not conceived yet, but I can see that you are healthy. I do not mean to pry, but you have been intimate. No issues?”
At this, she blushed even harder and stared at the ground. “Yes, we— It’s been- fine,” she finished awkwardly.
“Sometimes these things just take time.” He made a few notes in his tablet. “I should be all set now unless you need anything?”
“Would it be all right if I told Oz?”
“Yes, if you wish. You are his mate. Actually, Molly, you may not have heard. The Captain made an announcement at dawn. We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning for a new scouted location. The crew is anxious to get back to their work.”
After leaving, Molly packed up her few things to bring back on the Xeo, then she wandered about the station mindlessly. Before long she came to double-doors that slid open smoothly as she stepped in front of them. It was a large, two-story gym, with a boxing ring in the center of the lower floor and various gym equipment and training items set up around the outskirts of both levels.
Haze was there, handily beating up a training dummy.
“Hey, Haze.” She waved at him, turning to leave.
“Molly.” He paused in his punch. “I have that info you were after.”
Info? Oh. “Already?” She froze and stepped back inside. Did she even want to know the fate of her brother? What if it was too horrible to contemplate?
She walked over hesitating. “What did you find out?”
“There’s no easy way to say this. Your brother’s team was ambushed by the Suhlik. They didn’t make it.”
“I already knew that. Is that all there is?”
“Sometimes that’s all we get,” he said, but he didn’t meet her eyes.
“You aren’t telling me something; I can tell.”
He paused. “Perhaps you should sit down.”
Molly felt her blood freeze, but did as he suggested.
“Listen, the Suhlik, they’re nasty fraska. They captured your brother’s team. Apparently they were running experiments on humans, early stages. They were probably looking to make a new version of the Mahdfel, but more controllable this time. When one of the Mahdfel team got to them to save them, there wasn’t much human left.”
Molly covered her mouth. “Oh my g—”
Haze reached over to touch her shoulder and patted it. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you. I think I’d want to know it, but I wasn’t sure…”
‘Yeah. I—” She felt the tears start falling. Her poor brother. It was like losing her brother all over again. Could she ever tell her mother something like this? Her father? It had been too terrible to contemplate, but now it was true: not a clean death, a horrifying one. Rage filled her. She wiped the tears quick out of her eyes.
She pushed off the seat and went over to the small training platform and clumsily tossed Haze one of the light juvenile warngs she’d managed before. His hand snaked out quick to grab it.
“You’ll teach me?” she asked, staring him down, daring him to say no. She assumed a pose as best she could.
“Yup,” he managed. He held his own up and demonstrated the stance for her.
Haze slowed his movements so that she could easily come up to block him or try to counter-attack.
Molly felt herself grow more frustrated and swung wildly. “Don’t treat me like a girl.”
Haze picked up his pace, and Molly felt herself steady, just trying to keep up, losing herself in the repetitions.
Periodically, Haze would call out instructions, “Good… Don’t drop your stance. Hold yourself at the ready.”
They must have trained for thirty minutes, and the sweat poured off her.
At one point, searing with tiredness, she made a shaky counter, stepped wrong and fell over her own feet to the ground. She rolled over to her back, grimacing, Haze standing over her.
“Perhaps we should take a break?” he asked.
~
Oz
Oz had worked a long shift to get everything ready for their departure tomorrow. He used his band to locate Molly as he walked back into the station, his step light.
He would let all this needless worrying pass through him. It could only be her decision. Always. He could only be responsible to appreciate her smile for as long as he was graced to see it.
Molly was in the sparring room. Odd, but not too big a deal… It was then that Oz saw who she was with. Red came over him in a flash, and his body went rigid.
When the doors swung wide, Oz found Haze actually standing over his mate while she lay on the ground panting. Shock and anger coursed through his body turning his soul to fire.
He rushed forward, his fists clenched. “Haze, what are you doing?” His voice was dark and strange to his own ear, holding a deadly warning. “She could be pregnant.”
Haze took a quick step back. “Oz, I—”
Oz reached out a gentle hand to Molly, his whole being narrowed on knowing the answer to one question: whether she was harmed or not. His awareness split between tracking his mate and the one who threatened her. “Molly, are you hurt?”
Molly pulled her hand away from him. “Oz!” She rolled her eyes at him. “I can stand by myself.”
She was okay. Okay and upset. But with him?
Oz heard the door slide behind him; Haze making a fast exit. Coward.
“What’s happened?” he asked. “Is something wrong?”
“I’m not pregnant, okay?” she bit out. “You can stop doing that.”
Relief washed over him as his final worry melted away. He had the chance to offer her a real choice. He pushed forward to kiss her.
“No. I said I’m not pregnant,” she repeated, moving away.
He felt himself still. “Molly, you must know by now how much I…”
Molly held up her hand. “Listen, I’m tired.” She walked away and placed the light warng in the holder. “I’ll see you later.” She wiped a tear away as she left.
Oz felt exhaustion wash over him. What did his female want? And why didn’t she just tell him so he could do it?
~
Molly
Molly sat on Oz’s bed overlooking the Xeo Tarlith and dug her mom’s note out of her pocket. She wasn’t even sure why she was so angry. Again. It wasn’t like Oz had hurt Joe; the Suhlik had. The Suhlik had pushed her and Oz into this horrible situation where they had to hook up for two planets’ survival.
If she was honest with herself, now that she was alone, she felt a tightening of guilt. She needed to be mad at someone that she could actually lash out at.
Molly glanced off at the Xeo again. It was such a beautiful ship, if she was into that kind of thing.
She heard a knock at the door, and a minute later it slid open. “Molly, can I come in?” Oz’s quiet voice came from the hallway.
“Yes.” She looked up shyly. “It’s your room.”
“What’s happened?” he asked as he sat beside her.
“I’m sorry about before. Haze just—” She broke off frustrated. She didn’t want to speak the words out loud about what she’d learned. A tear clouded her vision, and before she could wipe it away, it rolled down her cheek.
Oz leaned back, going stiff.
“I will break him,” he said, standing up. “I shall rip him from limb to limb. I am so sorry, mah lo ma. I must get someone for you — Seban — but then, I promise, you shall be avenged.”
“Break who? The Suhlik?”
“The — wait, you said — Haze — that he…?” His voice dropped off.
She held her hand up and shook her head. “No. Haze told me what happened to my brother. I asked him to, but I don’t think I really wanted to know.”
He sat back down. “This was the brother that died?” he asked.
“Yes, they—” Molly still couldn’t say it. Her insides were like a painful, hollowed-out shell.
Oz drew her into his arms, holding her tightly. She rested her head against his chest, hiding from the truth a little longer.
“You don’t have to tell me until you’re ready. I understand.”
Molly pulled away from him. “I don’t mean to be so angry with you all the time.”
“I know,” he said, his voice going soft. “You want to go home.”
If only it were still that simple.
“Will you sit with me, just until I fall asleep?”
Oz lay down beside her so she rested on his chest, her tears falling every so often to splash on his shirt.
After a while, she wiped her eyes clear and rolled over. She’d been putting something off for too long. Molly dug her mother’s note out of her pocket to read.
Molly,
I will miss you so much.
You are my pride and joy, and you have all of your family’s love.
Be brave and strong and kind.
Have an adventure!
Look back on Earth.
Know that we are thinking of you and so proud of the woman you are and the mother you will be.
Love you,
Mom
This was where her brother Max got it from, knowing just what to say and when to say it. Her mom had always had it too.
Molly reached over to place the note on the stand beside the bed before leaning back against Oz, closing her eyes.
Oz wrapped an arm about her, lacing his fingers through hers. “If you aren’t pregnant, I can get you home again.”
She leaned against him. “You could really send me back; I could go home?”
She felt his nod against her hair. “It’s normally locked down, but I know how to override the setting.”
Molly laughed a little at that. “Of course you do.”
Oz shrugged. “I have my moments.”
“Would you get in trouble?” she asked, pressing against him.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” he said, his voice soft against her ear.
“And so, you’d let me go? I could really go back to Earth.”
“Yes.”
She rolled over to face him, not speaking, just looking at his beautiful face, memorizing the shape of it. It’d been like that with her family, when she’d had no choice, when she’d thought she’d never have another choice about her life.
He was offering her now, all the choice in the world. She could choose to see her family again, or she could choose something else entirely.
“My mom’s note. She said to ‘have an adventure’.”
“There’s certainly plenty of that around here.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek, whispered in her ear, “Do you think you’d ever want to stay?”
“Me. On a spaceship?”
“To be fair, it’s not all the time spent trapped in a spaceship. We stop places; see the universe. It’s—”
“—an adventure?” Molly asked.
He kissed her hand and looked at her seriously. His words came out hushed, and he leaned back slightly from her. “I can’t promise that it would always be safe, but I would do my best to protect you and our son.”
“Son.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m not even pregnant.”
His lids grew heavy and hooded, and Molly felt a warmth sweep through her body as she realized what he was thinking about.
“I could never resist you for long, mah lo ma. So yes, a son, eventually. Probably soon.”
Molly’s face flushed as he rested his hand on her hip, and he leaned down to kiss her softly. A thrill ran through her.
He leaned forward to whisper in her ear again. “Maybe that’s what I want, for you to never get pregnant so I would know that, every day you stayed, it was because you chose to be with me another day longer.”
Molly’s whole heart clenched up. She reached up to touch his face, tracing his cheek.
She shrugged her shoulders helplessly, her mom’s words replaying in her head.
His gaze dropped to the bed, and he leaned away from her, giving her space.
It was there for her, in that look in his eyes, the warmth of his smile, the soft touch of his hands. His voice was like the most beautiful music in her head. She’d spent so long trying to fight what she couldn’t believe she’d been given.
She had only to decide to take it.
“I don’t want to leave,” she admitted. A burden she didn’t even know she carried, lifted.
He froze, glancing over to her, then his face broke out in a beautiful smile. He reached over to touch her cheek.
“I don’t think I can leave, not if it means I’d never get to see you again.”
“You do like me,” he said with a smirk. “I knew it.”
Molly rolled her eyes. “Maybe a little…” she ventured.
For a long, breathless moment, they kissed, and the need pulled through her belly, the happy sense of everything being right and the most wonderful man in the universe loving her.
“Walk with me?” he asked. “I can show you the station.” He smiled sideways at her again. “Later, the universe…”
“Awww.” She grinned. “You’re so sweet.”