Chapter Ten

Kerren sat at his kitchen table, bent over the cold sandwich he’d made for lunch. An hour had passed, and he’d stared at it, not hungry and not sure what he would do for the rest of the day.

He could show Brook around some more, if that’s what she wished. Anything she wanted, he wanted to give to her. It was his own needs that confused him. Keeping her happy was easy to devote himself to, for now.

Once she became a full-fledged member of the court, he had to go. Even if it tore at him, he knew the odds of their relationship ever being approved were dismal.

He’d once been smitten with the Duchess of Lugh Isle, and Catriona had disapproved. The Duchess was as equal to his station as possible, yet they’d been deemed an incompatible match. With those odds, he’d never be allowed to be with a human.

And there was no way he would stick around to see who they would approve of for Brook.

Before he met Brook, he had a plan. He had to stick to that plan, even if it threatened to rip a hole in his chest. Sticking around wouldn’t be good for either of them.

The front door creaked open and closed, and he hopped up to see how Brook’s tea went with the queen.

Instead of his curvy redheaded delight, he found Vevina skulking around the living room.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded. “Thought of another way to meddle in our lives?”

“Kerren…” She paused where she stood and turned sorrowful eyes at him.

Deep blue waves pulsed through her white hair. Regret. Sadness. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d appeared this distraught. She was his family’s servant by birth, but they’d always been more like friends.

It had been his decision to elevate her status. He made her his assistant and let her do mostly as she pleased. They did almost everything together, really. Up until her betrayal, he’d thought they were nearly family.

Now, he felt no pity for her.

“I asked you a question.”

“I came to see you. I wanted to explain—”

“There’s no excusing your actions, Vevina. What did I do to you that made you bitter enough to run off and spout your story? What did Brook do to you?”

Vevina hung her head. “I came to seek your forgiveness, but I’d still appreciate it if you’d allow me to speak.”

“Then speak,” he said, waving a hand. “Please, tell me why you think you deserve my time.”

She took a step toward him, then hesitated and shifted on her feet. “You can’t leave, Kerren. Don’t you see? You belong here. Your people love you.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Brook fits in well, doesn’t she? I knew the moment I saw her. She would’ve been so happy if you would’ve brought her back home.”

“Vevina…” he warned. “Make your point so you can leave.”

“Why do you hate us all so much?” she demanded.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t hate Prism. I’m just bored. I’m stifled. There’s no future for me here.”

“Because you say so, but for no real reason. You’re barely even here!” she exclaimed. “You spend most of your time exploring the other planets. Why can’t you just say what you mean? You’re lonely.”

“So what if I am?”

“Brook is perfect,” she said, worrying her hands on her dress. “Don’t you see? This was supposed to make you happy—both of you happy. She wanted this. I have an entire profile for her. She wants someone just like you, and you need someone just like her.”

“You’re not making sense—we just met. And you spent what… half a day with her? You know nothing.”

Certainly, he knew his feelings for Brook, but there was no evidence she felt the same. It’s not like she’d asked him to stay.

“I lied about Brook,” Vevina said carefully. “I didn’t find her from an agency. I… made a dating profile for you with a paranormal matchmaking specialist.”

The absurdity made him want to laugh, and he did. He walked to his couch and fell upon it. “That’s ridiculous, even for you. This isn’t one of your best games, Vevina. You can’t play with Brook’s future and expect me to laugh it off.”

“I’m not joking. This… Gerri Wilder has made so many happy endings come true, her reputation is known across the damn galaxy. And she matched Brook with you.”

“She’s gorgeous. But chemistry isn’t love, Vevina.” He leaned forward and pulled a decanter of dark liquor towards him on the coffee table. Pouring a serving into a crystal glass, he sighed. “Brook and I may have had a future had you not interfered. But now? Even if I wanted to pursue her, I’d be denied.”

“Never. Brook is your future.”

Somehow, hearing Vevina make such a statement was like a punch to the gut. “You’re right about one thing,” he admitted. “I was lonely. I wanted a wife and a family. But you don’t get to choose that for me, and some woman I’ve never met—matchmaker or no—doesn’t get to choose that for me either.”

“But… Don’t you feel it?”

He took a sip of the amber liquid and closed his eyes as it burned and slid down his throat. Once the fire subsided, he looked at her. “Do you think that relationship would ever be approved? Don’t you remember the last time I tried?”

“That selkie whore? Of course it wasn’t approved. Every cock North of the Fade has petitioned to court Mira, Duchess of Lust Isle,” Vevina shrieked. “No one will ever get approved for her. She has no class, paltry manners, and her territory will be dissolved within the next two centuries.”

“We are equal—”

“You are so far above Mira she’d need a wisp to find the soles of your feet, Kerren. Besides, all of fae knows the love of selkies is the waters. You deserve more than to come second to water.”

“And if Artur and Catriona don’t agree? Brook is having a hard enough time accepting this. If I tell her how I feel, only to have our relationship disapproved, what then?”

“Catriona is descended from a deity of love. She isn’t inept. You keep assuming she’ll say no just because it’s you, and just because she kept you from making a mistake decades ago.”

“Yet she and Artur approved my parents.”

Vevina pursed her lips and her eyes trailed away. “That was different.”

“How?” he asked.

He truly never understood his parents’ relationship. His mother was sweet and free-spirited. His father was a drunken bully.

Vevina shifted on her feet. “You should ask your mother.”

“I can’t ask her. You know she hates speaking of him. She’s happy now, and I won’t dredge up old memories and make her upset.” He turned to fully face Vevina. “But you know everything.”

“Haven’t you guessed by now?” she asked softly.

A knot tightened in his stomach. Years ago, he’d guessed. But this secret, like most of his memories of his childhood, was always locked away. “I was an accident.”

She didn’t deny his statement, only ran an idle hand along the sofa arm. Fae couples rarely conceived. They could be together for centuries and produce no children. Sexuality was open and casual relationships common. His mother had to have had the worst luck in the world.

There was no law that she had to marry, but it made sense that she thought it was for the best.

“Peter wasn’t always a… tyrant. He used to be just… I don’t know. Passionate? He thought he could settle down and be a dad. He wanted to try. I watched him try,” Vevina insisted. “But it wasn’t in his nature. He was selfish, and even the best intentions could become sour…”

“I don’t need to hear. It’s enough, just to know, finally,” he murmured. “If my mother had raised me alone, I’d have been better off. A bastard duke is still a duke, and to the fae, any child is a blessing.”

“Except that Bledwen has never been steady enough to rule. She is caring and sweet, but a focused woman, she is not,” Vevina said hesitantly. “She had hoped that Peter could provide balance.”

“And she was wrong.” Kerren loved his mother dearly, but a mistake was a mistake.

“This doesn’t have any bearing on your own relationships, Kerren. You aren’t your father.”

Unless Kerren had inherited his father’s selfish nature. Unless good intentions and failed results ran in his blood.

He shook his head. “You shouldn’t have tampered with fate, Vevina. Brook may be better here—I don’t know. I think she’d shine anywhere. But me? This world isn’t for me.”

“It is! You’re just too stubborn to see past what you fear could happen. You don’t want to put down your roots.”

“You don’t understand. My life here is empty.” He swirled the glass in his hand and took another sip. “I can’t serve the Barrows and watch my life pass by.”

“You are the noblest man to rule the Barrows in a long while, and I should know since I served your bastard of a father,” Vevina said firmly. “You think we don’t need you, but we do. I’m speaking for all of your people. We want you to stay. We need your spirit to protect us.”

“Protect you from what? The chill of winter?”

“You know that the province gains from the merits of the leadership, and just as equally, suffers from the flaws. Under you, we’ve seen growth and happiness. Safety.” She came close and placed a hand on his shoulder, though he glared at her. “And that was with you barely trying. Imagine how we would fare with you at your best. Brook is your future and ours. I wasn’t trying to tamper with fate. I thought I was doing fate’s bidding.”

“Well, you’re a fool,” he muttered.

“If the end result is you coming to your senses and staying here, it’s worth being a fool. If your life is empty, you fill it with something. Moving won’t help you if you make the same choices.”

“Yet you’ve set the course for Brook to do just that—move in the hopes of something better,” he scoffed. “You should leave before Brook returns. She’ll do better to adjust without having to see you.”

Vevina squeezed his shoulder and stepped away. She seemed to want to say more, but after a quiet moment she turned and left.

Kerren lifted the crystal glass and rested its cool surface against his forehead. He didn’t want to question fate or love or chemistry. He just wanted to see Brook happy, even if that meant she lived a long life in Prism without him.

* * * *

Phones didn’t work in Prism, or at least most didn’t. Technology, in general, tended to react to the magic atmosphere in strange ways. The exception was a certain line of computers made specifically for Prism, and even then, they had limited capabilities—but they could be used for short voice calls.

Luckily, Vevina had one in her office in the home. She was always on top of all things new and couldn’t live without her handheld organizer.

Kerren pressed the power button on the computer and momentarily regretted sending her away before getting to the bottom of her matchmaking scheme. He needed to speak to the woman who had placed Brook into his employ.

The computer loaded quickly and Kerren scanned the desktop for any clues. A notification for a new email from Gerri Wilder popped up in the corner and he clicked it, immediately recalling the familiar name.

The email was checking in to see how things were moving along since Brook wasn’t answering her phone. The message had a number at the bottom, which he clicked and waited on while the computer dialed out.

“Hello?” a mature woman’s voice answered.

“Hello. Is this Mrs. Wilder?” he asked.

“Please, call me Gerri. I assume if you have this number we’re working together? Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to today?”

“Kerren Aodhán.”

“Oh, the fae duke, yes. Tell me, how is everything with Brook?”

He slouched in his chair and stared at the computer screen. “Ah… she’s fine. But I’ve got some unfortunate news for you, about the entire situation.”

“Oh dear… go on.”

“I never created a dating profile with your agency. My assistant did.”

A heavy sigh carried through the air. “I rather suspected,” Gerri admitted. “It’s quite rare that someone submits a profile quite as deeply honest as yours.”

“Yes, well. That’s problem one. Problem two is that it doesn’t seem like Brook was looking for a match either.”

“Did she say that?”

“No, not exactly. But she came as a guide—”

“Yes, yes. Brook is stubborn, but unless your assistant’s details about you were misleading, she’s your match. I just assumed that you would tell her that you wanted more than a tour guide, and the rest would handle itself.”

Kerren cleared his throat, recalling how quickly he and Brook had gone from tour to bedroom. “Well, there was certainly chemistry… but if neither of us was looking, haven’t we done this wrong?”

Gerri’s laugh rang as clear as a bell. “Wonderful. You know, I expect this sort of nonsense from wolves and bears and such, but I thought a duke of the fae would see clearer.”

“Pardon?”

The rustling of paper being moved and crinkled came across the line, then Gerri asked, “Do you ever travel?”

“Yes. Quite often, actually.”

“Would you consider yourself to be charming and intellectual, yet capable of being at home at either a fancy dinner party or relaxing with a beer?” she continued as if reading from something.

Kerren tilted his head side to side in consideration. “Prism doesn’t have Earth-style beer, but I suppose yes.”

“And are you so desperately lonely that you’d leave your life behind, come to a city you’ve never heard of on a planet you’ve never been to, and hire a dating agency to find your true love?”

“But I didn’t—”

“Are we talking, or not, dear?” she asked seriously.

He ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose, even though I did not hire you, that is disturbingly accurate.”

“If you didn’t want to hire me, you wouldn’t have contacted me to tell me about this so-called mix-up. Be honest. You wanted to make sure Brook was your match, not correct me for sending you someone you didn’t want,” she chided.

“Are all Americans so blunt?” he muttered not meaning for her to hear.

“Delightfully so,” she replied. “I can’t force you to do anything, clearly. But even though I detest being tricked, the match was still a match.”

“I see.”

“I don’t know what you two are up to, but please tell Brook she can call me anytime.”

“Of course. Thank you Mrs—I mean, thank you, Gerri.”

“Mmhmm. You be good.”

The line went quiet and the call clicked off. Gerri’s certainty shook him, except for one thing. Maybe desperation wasn’t the best foundation to form a relationship on.