“Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend waiting for you?” Piper yells across the kitchen island slamming dough down onto the wooden board. I wonder what she is making with all the flour and items scattered on the counter looking like a baker’s dive into hell.

I pick up an apple from the bowl ignoring her comment biting into the red skin snapping it back and letting the juice slide down my throat. “What are you making?” I ask instead. I didn’t want to have to hash out why Mariska, a blast from my past showed up on our doorstep offering her services on a Sunday morning.

“Are you fucking kidding me Milo? I’m asking about the woman you were supposed to be marrying showing up and you’re asking what I’m cooking?” Her cheeks blow out puffs of air and she wipes her brow leaving a mark of white powder streaking it. It’s adorable and I grunt adjusting the rise in my shorts. How she can be so pissed off and I want to lay her out on the counter is amazing to me.

I sigh. “I married you, isn’t that the point.”

She slaps the dishtowel against my chest stalking down the hall. “No it’s not the fucking point.” I hear a door slam and wonder how long this snit will last. The kitchen is a disaster but I can’t leave Piper stewing like this. I was never going to marry Mariska but explaining that to Piper would have fallen on deaf ears.

I walk back over to the counter and read the carefully written out notecards in my mom’s handwriting. Piper had all the ingredients set aside preparing Khachapuri. My favorite cheese bread. Shit. I really fucked this up didn’t I. I rolled my neck back staring at the ceiling. Why couldn’t all aspects of marriage be easy?

My cell phone rings stopping my thoughts and I fish it out of my pocket. “Hello?”

“Mr. Lazare? This is Agent Todeski.”

Ah the person handling my immigration case. I leaned over the kitchen counter mentally exhausted. As if we need this one more thing to deal with.

“How can I help you?”

“Well I wanted to do a home visit but I thought maybe coming to the office for an interview with your new wife would be better.”

Fuck.

“Yeah, sure. When would you like us to come by?” This is the last damn thing I wanted to do right now. I have to fix shit with Piper not force her to endure and interview with an annoyingly nosy agent who probably doesn’t give a shit about my job and will be just as happy to send my ass back from whence it came.

“This afternoon would work for me.”

“Great. See you then.” I hang up wondering how I am going to broach this subject with Piper. Time to put on my man pants.

I knock on the door hearing nothing from the other side. “Piper?” I call out thinking maybe she’s in the bathroom. No noise is good noise right? I crack the door open and slip inside. I have no idea why I’m being so quiet. It’s my house. Correction, our house. It wasn’t like I had anything to hide.

“Piper?” I call out again following the path of destruction including pulled sheets from the bed and laundry on the floor to the balcony doors. She’s sitting outside flipping her phone over and over in her fingers looking out into the backyard.

“Can we talk?” I sit down in the lounge chair across from her. My hands cup the sides of her legs pulling her closer to me.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me about her.” Her face carries a wounded expression and I’m instantly contrite and sorry.

“It’s not that I was hiding her if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Then who is she?”

“Mariska is someone I grew up with as my parents moved around Europe. My mother was an investigative journalist. I lived in a number of places growing up including the Middle East, London, and South Africa. Her father was an ambassador between the UK and South Africa. We went to school together in London. I guess the equivalent of High School.”

“Did you sleep with her?” I didn’t want to answer Piper but I had to so that I could make it clear there wasn’t anything between us.

“We did. A long time ago. It was in between us parting ways for law school and medical school. Separately.”

“So like…” I see the wheels turning and I grab her hand to stop her.

“Piper, please don’t do the math. It was less than a handful of times and it obviously meant more to her than it did to me. I was kind of a selfish asshole back then. I was focused on medical school and I had no desire to be with anyone so I slept with several someones until it got old.” Truth is that I picked ones that bored me so I wouldn’t get attached. Mariska liked to recite case law in bed enough said on that one.

“She’s pretty.”

I wave that off. My wife is sexy as fuck. I didn’t need a Mariska or anyone one else.

“Look, I know you’re feeling hurt. But I swear that was over before it even began. I married you because I like you and I want this to work. I believe we can make this work and I want to try.”

“I do too Milo. I was just so thrown back by everything and her showing up made it all the more real and weird.”

“Yeah, nobody likes opening the door to find an old ex standing there with a basket of expectations.”

“Maybe I overreacted?”

“Well, maybe I under reacted because I didn’t think it would be upsetting for you and I should have realized you would feel some type of way about it.”

“Truce?” She leans in to kiss my cheek.

“Truce.”

“Who called?” She points to my phone I hadn’t realized I am holding onto in a tight grip.

“Homeland security.” I snort.

“What did the visa witch want?”

“Besides sending me back?” I husk.

“Yeah.”

“A meeting this afternoon. Probably the first round of interviews for my permanency hearing.”

“I think I know how we can get you to stay?”

“How is that wife?”

Piper crawls from her chair to mine straddling me. No one can see us on the balcony of the backyard.

“Didn’t you say you wanted kids someday?”

“Of course.”

“Well I figure we could start practicing. You know for when we’re actually ready to have them.” Her smile is wicked and I pick her up giggling. People say baby making sex is hotter. I think sex with Piper is life altering babies or not.