Chapter 1 - Fallon

 

I’d never made the trip before, but it all looked the same as the rest of the Midwest to me. Golden fields, swaying in the breeze and sparkling in the sun, as far as the eye could see. To some, it was probably a beautiful landscape to take in on the seven hour drive, but for me, it was depressing. Symbolic of the trip itself. I didn’t want to go to Nebraska, but it wasn’t my choice. My luck had run out.

 

My mother and her husband had run out of patience with me, and while I was certainly old enough at twenty-six to live on my own, I’d pushed my luck letting my mom finance me while I “underachieved,” as she called it. I loved Denver, where I grew up, but it hadn’t loved me back so much, and the ability to get high at my leisure left me with a bit less motivation than needed to successfully hold down a real job after I skated through college. My mother’s hope was that sending me to Nebraska for the summer would not only give her a break from my coming and going, but also a chance to figure out what I was doing with my life. The fact of the matter was, I didn’t know what I wanted to do.  However, I wasn’t in a position to argue with the demand that I spend the summer in Nebraska with my cousin, his new wife, and their baby.

 

I turned the radio off, driving along the interstate and listening to the wind as it roared through the open windows. The sun was already warm, even in early May, and I suspected that a long, hot summer was upon me, whether I liked it or not. While I wasn’t particularly thrilled to spend the summer as a glorified secretary to my cousin’s friend, I didn’t have much else to do, in all honesty. The sweat was forming on the back of my neck, and I threw my long hair into a pile on top of my head while I continued to drive through the plains, with nothing but my thoughts to keep my company.

 

As I finally neared my cousin Flynn’s house, my irritability grew, creating a pit in my belly. I didn’t have a plan, but I didn’t appreciate being dictated to, and I’d made that quite clear on my way out of Denver. My mother and I weren’t speaking and while it was upsetting, we simply couldn’t stop arguing. Once I pulled up to the enormous house, I drew in a deep breath. It wasn’t Flynn’s fault my mother was exasperated, and I needed to remember not to lash out at him, or his new wife.

 

I stepped out of the car, and before I made it to the door, it swung open and a beautiful young woman came out to greet me.

 

“Fallon!” she cried out joyfully, catching me off guard.

 

Faltering at first, I replied, “Uh, hi.” I shoved my hands in my pockets, unsure of how to act. I’d never met Jacinda before; she and Flynn had eloped, so there was no wedding for the family to attend.

 

She smiled softly at me. “Fallon. It’s wonderful to have you here. Come inside and get out of the sun.” Waving me toward her, she stepped aside so that I could enter the house.

 

“Thank you.” The exchange was awkward for me, although she seemed completely at ease. She had a kind face, and was younger than I’d pictured.

 

I moved inside the large foyer, my hands still stuffed into my pockets. My mother had warned me to be polite, not petulant, and while my irritation with the situation was at the forefront of my mind, Jacinda was welcoming.

 

“You’ve had a long trip, come in and relax. I’ll have Flynn grab your things when he gets home from work. Can I get you anything?”

 

“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” I glanced around the room. “Where’s the baby?” I asked.

 

“She’s finally taking a nap. She’s upstairs in her nursery.” Jacinda sighed, and sat down on a large couch, pointing to the furniture around the room. The house was massive. I knew Flynn had built it from the ground up—my mother had told me—but I had no idea how big it was.

 

“How old is she now?” I tried to small talk. I knew nothing about babies, but the elephant in the room, which was me, wasn’t what I wanted to discuss.

 

“She’s eight months old now. But let’s talk about you.” She smirked, clearly seeing my desire to avoid the topic.

 

“What would you like to talk about exactly?” I tried not to sound too snotty, even though I was unable to keep myself from huffing.

 

I’d seated myself on the chair next to her and slinked deeper into it. I hadn’t realized how embarrassing this situation would be until I faced her in that moment. She leaned in my direction, tucking her feet underneath her comfortably.

 

“Fallon, I know this isn’t an ideal… arrangement, in your eyes. Your proclivity for getting into trouble is not a problem for me. I think that getting away for the summer will be a relief for you. At least, I hope that it will. I want you to be happy here. Our home is your home, and I hope that you’ll make yourself comfortable.”

 

“I, uh…” I stammered again. Jacinda’s kindness was appreciated, but I was feeling a lot of pressure, a weight on my chest, almost immediately.

 

“We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”

 

“No, I’m sorry, Jacinda. I appreciate the generosity of you, and of Flynn. I just… I’m not sure what else to say. Things at home are a mess, but I didn’t want to come here. It’s not personal. I don’t even know you.”

 

I may get into some trouble. Drink a little too much sometimes. Smoke a bit of weed, which is legal where I live. I don’t particularly enjoy working. But I did feel some remorse once Jacinda’s smile faded from her face.

 

“I understand,” she replied.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“No, don’t apologize. I do understand feeling alone, like you’ve got no one to turn to. I hope that in time, you will see that Flynn and I care about you, and that we opened our home to you because we’d like to get to know you, and we want to help you however we can.” She paused. “But, in the meantime, let me show you to your room. I’m sure you’d like to rest.”

 

I simply nodded, feeling like an asshole. I didn’t have anywhere else to go, and I owed them some gratitude, but I am who I am, and I couldn’t pretend that I wanted to be there. I was serving a sentence, handed down to me from my mother, and I couldn’t consider it anything else.