Lillian

I enter the conference room and shake both gentlemen’s hands. “Thank you for coming in today, Ms. Strong.” That’s my pen name. They always refer to me that way.

“It’s a pleasure. The last two quarters have been truly excellent for me. I know that we have a lot to discuss, so I’ll let you two get this show on the road.” All the while I’m saying that, I’m thinking about running into Nick. I nearly ripped that girl’s blonde hair out of her head. The way she fawned all over Nicholas made me so angry. I’ve never been jealous over anything or anyone in my entire life. It’s freaking destroying me to see him and not get to spend more time getting to know him. I want him more than I can say. My next character to die will be that bubbly, flirty McKayla. I hate myself for the pettiness, but what’s a girl to do when the only man she’s ever loved is out of reach?

“Ms. Strong,” Ian calls out. I shake my head and blush because I am mortified that I haven’t heard a word they said.

“Sorry,” I mutter, looking back at Nick’s brother. He’s handsome like Nick, and so is their father. But I get nothing at all. When I look at them, they might as well not be here. “I was lost in my story in my head,” I bumble out. I don’t know if they believe me, but then Ian touches my hand and tries to ease my humiliation.

“Don’t apologize. We have met many authors who lose their attention span. We were talking about another two-book deal. Same numbers as before, but a few book tours that we pay for.” I tap my nails on the table, contemplating their offer. “What kind of book tour are we talking about?”

“We would do a two-week, six-city tour. I’m sure they would want more, but you know it’s not worth it unless it’s a well-populated reading community.”

“That’s not bad. Give me a couple minutes to think about it.”

I leave their office a few hours later after making my decision. Now it’s time to prepare for my vacation. I leave in two days for a nice trip to sunny Miami. I’ve never been there before.

I need time to clear my head and move on. My heart is so mixed in its feelings for Nicholas and the fear that I’m never going to get over them. I pack up the things I need, but it’s not going to be enough. I don’t have beach clothes or anything like that.

~~~~

The next morning while out shopping for my beachwear I run into Mrs. Knight, of all people. “Hello, Lillian, dear. How are you?” She’s a lovely woman, but she’s the mother of the man that I want to give me babies and a happily ever after.

“I’m doing well,” I remark, although my voice doesn’t come off well.

“Shopping for bikinis?” she questions suspiciously.

“Yes, I’m planning on taking a vacation.”

“Oh really? Does my husband know?” she asks, holding and staring at a pretty green swimsuit. I’m looking for a few one pieces. I’ve never owned a bikini before.

“I didn’t think I had to inform anyone,” I say, grabbing the white version of the same swimsuit.

She spins around and looks at me in contrition. She pats my hand like only a mother does. “No, you don’t, my dear. I was curious, is all.”

“I’ve never been on vacation and since I don’t have to report to you all for two months, I figured it didn’t matter.”

“Oh, well, my husband thinks of you as a daughter. Never mind all that; I think this blue one will match your fair tone.” She hands me a sexy bikini with a little mini skirt that doesn’t hide much. It’s extremely revealing.

“Yes, it is, but you’re beautiful,” I remark and blanch, knowing I said that aloud.

“And you’re still young, before babies add stretch marks and the like.” She must notice me turning red, as she adds, “Relax—don’t be embarrassed. You are stunning. Are you going alone?”

“Yes. I kind of do almost everything alone.”

“That’s a shame. I don’t think that’s a good idea. There’s a lot of human trafficking going on, and sweetheart, someone like you who’s traveling alone becomes a big risk.”

“I know. I’ll be careful. I just need to get away.” I sigh, directing my attention to another rack. I’ve said too much. She’s a brilliant woman as well. She’s one of the first editors to work for Knight Publishing.

“I understand that. Anything you’re trying to get away from?” she asks, ducking her head to my face, trying to get my attention.

“No,” I lie, hoping that she believes me.

“My dear, you are running from a guy, aren’t you?” Damn it, the woman is like a spy. I need to use her in a book. The interrogator. I shake my head because I am, but I can’t tell her that I’m in love with her son. It would be so awkward.

“I’m not running away from a guy. I’m running away from my feelings. Loving someone who doesn’t even know you really exist is hard to deal with. It’s time that I move on with my life, instead of hoping that he sees me as more.” She pulls me into her arms, hugging me like the mother I’ve always wanted. I don’t cry because I’m already uncomfortable.

“Thank you, Mrs. Knight. I promise that I’ll get over him.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he’s got his reasons. Some guys have a hard time making the moves. I remember when my husband hired me to be his first editor. The company wasn’t big and he needed me, so he refused to make a move until I decided that two years of waiting was enough. I found someone else to take me on a date. He sent me flowers the next day to the office, and Nicholas smashed them against the wall before taking me into his office…and, well, that conversation is best left in our memories.” Her face turns red from the memory, but I’m not sure it’s from embarrassment or fondness. I want to feel that way thirty years from now.

Her phone goes off, and she picks it up on the third ring. “Where are you, woman? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Either he’s loud or she’s accidentally put the phone on speaker.

“I’m at the store. I’ll be home in a little while,” she answers. “I’ve just had a pleasant memory that I think needs revisiting.”

“Then drop the items and come home. I’ll take you to the store tomorrow, woman,” he growls.

“Caveman,” she coos.

“Thank you. You’ve been wonderful. Have a great day,” I say with a wink. She leaves with a wide smile on her face. And that’s what I want years down the road.

Something made me feel like there’s hope for me and Nicholas. A girl can dream.