The low hum of the airplane drowned under the weight of Gabi’s thoughts. She stared out the window, ignoring the deep blue ocean below. All she could see was Blake. The airline food had kept her occupied for half an hour, then she’d tried a movie, music, a documentary, not even episodes of The Big Bang Theory called to her.

Unfortunately, she had to come to terms with all the time she had to reflect before they landed in Sydney—hours in which she didn’t have a phone or computer to keep her occupied. And her mind was the enemy. Already she’d begun to second guess her actions.

Leaving had been the right decision. She needed space and time to figure out all the things that didn’t make sense. And at the moment, that was a lot of things—seeing Blake with Michelle, the way she touched him with familiarity, the way she’d kissed his cheek. Even though he’d told her it didn’t mean anything, the shock had unbalanced her, affecting the way she rationalized everything else after that moment.

Maybe if she hadn’t been blindsided things would’ve been different. Maybe if she had time to sit and think before checking out of the hotel suite and racing to the airport. Maybe…

Or maybe not.

Going home was the best option. It didn’t have to be a permanent decision. She loved Blake too much to give up on forever, but right now the thought of being close to him made her ache with distrust.

“He did it for sure,” the stout woman beside Gabi sneered aloud, her focus on the mini television screen that rested in the seat back in front of her. “Just look at him. Tattooed, dressed like death, and those eyes.” The woman pushed the headset at her ears and shuddered. “Who knows what he’s capable of?”

Gabi followed the woman’s line of sight and her chest restricted at the image on the small screen. It was Blake, standing out the front of The Plaza hotel, microphones surrounding him. He wore the tan polo shirt Mason had been wearing earlier and dark smudges hung heavy under his eyes, weariness etched into his features.

With shaky hands, she reached for the headphones that rested at her neck and put them on. “What channel are you watching?” she asked, maneuvering the touch screen from the entertainment channels back to the main screen, then to the news.

The woman glanced at Gabi. “It’s the first one, I think.”

Gabi pushed her finger down on the first icon and sat forward while it began to load. “Come on. Come on. Come on.”

Then there he was, standing before her, his lips moving with no sound coming out. Shit. She clicked on the volume, not stopping until it went up as far as it could.

“… made mistakes.” His voice came through, rough and emotionless. “None bigger than those concerning Michelle Clarkson. But I didn’t hurt her.” He was hurting, though, she could see it in his tight lips and his lifeless eyes. Reporters burst to life around him, asking questions, waving their microphones in his face which he ignored with patient indifference.

“I stayed here, at The Plaza hotel last night and video surveillance can confirm that I entered the building hours before the doctors say Michelle was attacked.”

“How is Michelle?” One reporter shouted.

“Who were you with?” Another asked.

Blake stared lifelessly to the left of the filming camera. “I haven’t spoken to Michelle. As far as I know, she has yet to make a statement. And who I was with last night is nobody’s business.”

A sad smile tugged at Gabi’s lips. He was trying to protect her, even after she’d walked away.

More questions erupted, and Blake spoke over the top of them, his words momentarily lost over the rush of voices. “…rumors that Michelle and I are dating. That is incorrect.” He raised his chin and straightened his shoulders. The cameraman panned out, and Leah and Mason came into view on either side of him, their postures rigid. “She was blackmailing me with the mistakes of my past. Mistakes I’m ashamed of and fought hard to hide.”

Gabi’s pulse began to pound. Why was he bringing up his past? If the press knew he had secrets, they wouldn’t stop until they were uncovered. Her throat tightened, and she swallowed to try and alleviate the ache. She didn’t want this for him. No matter how angry and hurt she was, he didn’t deserve this.

“I’m not going to hide anymore.”

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. No. She shook her head, silently pleading for him to stop.

Blake cleared his throat while silence reigned around him, the vultures eagerly awaiting the news. “I was a drug addict. A fact that I’m sickened to admit.”

Reporters inched forward, getting in his face. Gabi couldn’t hear what they were saying because they all spoke at once, but from the disgust on Leah’s face and the fury on Mason’s, she knew it wasn’t good.

Blake lowered his gaze, silently taking the assault. It wasn’t until Mason leaned close, whispering something in his ear that Blake raised his focus, his jaw now tight, his eyes blazing with determination.

“At the start of my career with Reckless Beat, I began using cocaine for recreational purposes. Recreation turned into addiction, and although I realized my mistakes early, it took a while for me to return from the hell I’d sunk into.” He spoke over the questions hurtled at him. “I kept this part of myself hidden from the people I loved and the band that has become my life. And I’ve done so for years.”

Gabi’s eyes burned. What would happen to him now? Would he lose Reckless Beat? Bloody hell, then what would he do? The lady beside Gabi muttered something unintelligible, and she ignored it, solely focused on Blake, wishing she was there with him.

“None of that matters anymore,” he proclaimed, staring straight into the camera. “My loyalty to the band, my love of music—” He shook his head and wrinkled his nose. “None of it matters, because I’ve ruined the only thing in my life that means more to me than life itself. I’ve let down the woman who holds my heart and done the one thing I promised myself I would never do—hurt her.”

The screen blurred and Gabi frantically blinked away her tears. When her vision cleared, Blake’s head was bowed, his shoulders slumped. His chest heaved while he ran his hand though his tangled hair and glanced back at the crowd.

“I appreciate the support of Reckless Beat’s loyal fans and hope that one day I can make it up to them. But for now, with my position as bass guitarist under jeopardy, I ask that you all hold me fully accountable for the way I’ve brought the band and our label into disrepute. And that you all please leave Mason, Mitch, Ryan, and Sean out of the drama I’ve caused. Thank you.”

Blake turned, ignoring the questioning reporters and strode back into the hotel, Leah and Mason at his sides. The clip ended, returning to the news desk. Gabi lowered her earphones. Her heart pounded, protesting her decision to leave. She couldn’t dwell on that now.

Blake had to fight this battle alone. She of all people needed to understand why. He always considered himself weak, even when he was the most strong-hearted, determined man she knew. He’d never believe her, never believe in himself. And no matter how much she yearned to run back to him, to help smooth out the pain in his life—this wasn’t about her.

He needed to do this on his own.