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Penance and Promises: A Chastity Falls Novella by L A Cotton (8)

~ Dennis

“Can I get you anything?”

Ana refused to meet my eyes. I couldn’t blame her; fuck knows where her mind must have gone when I walked into the room. Maybe Jackson was right; maybe keeping her in the dark was the right way to go. But secrets always got out in the end, and by then, it was usually too late. I’d learned that the hard way.

“I’m fine,” she whispered.

“You know he wouldn’t do this unless it was absolutely necessary.”

That garnered her attention, and Ana’s gaze landed on me. “I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier. All I keep thinking is what if something happens to him.” She laid her hands on her stomach and dropped her eyes there. “What if he’s not around to meet her?”

“Hey, hey.” I moved to the chair beside her bed. “Nothing’s going to happen to Jackson.”

Her head lifted, tears pooling in her eyes. “How do you know that?”

“I—hmm ...” I didn’t, but Ana didn’t need to know that. “Look, they have a handle on it. Jackson is doing this for you, Ana. Everything he’s done for the last six years has been for you.”

A small smile broke across her lips. “I know. I just thought we’d found peace, you know. And then ...” Ana’s voice trailed off.

“And then Braiden rolled into town and screwed everything up?”

“Bingo.”

“Jackson said he’s changed.”

She clucked her tongue in irritation. “We both know Jackson is too forgiving.”

Ana was right. It was both his strength and his weakness. Always had been. Jackson wanted to believe there was good in everyone—and perhaps there was, but some people kept it buried deep. So deep that sometimes, it couldn’t be reached.

“That’s one battle you won’t win.”

Ana nodded. She knew what I meant. No matter what had gone down between Jackson and Braiden—regardless of the fact he’d chosen to walk away for Ana—Jackson would never give up on his friend. He’d sold out Marcus, Braiden’s father—the man who had raised him for most of his life—and I knew, as did Ana, that he felt guilty about that. He didn’t talk about it, but it lived inside him every second of every day.

Shit, he probably thought this was a chance for redemption.

“I know. And I’m not sure I want too. It’s just ...” Her gaze dropped. “I just thought we had put Chastity Falls behind us.”

“And he’s a reminder.”

“Every single day.”

I nodded slowly. Braiden was a mean fucker back then, and his hatred for Ana ran deep, but it wasn’t really about Ana. It was Jackson. From the second Ana came onto the scene, Braiden was jealous—and he was scared. Scared that the quiet girl from Florida would drive a bigger wedge between him and Jackson.

And he was right.

Jackson wanted Ana from the first time he laid eyes on her. He never told me, but I’d caught him watching her around school. And although I was just as surprised as the rest of the guys when it finally came out that they’d been seeing each other secretly, I can’t say I didn’t see it coming.

“You’re his world, Ana. Don’t forget what he sacrificed for you. What he gave up.” I rose from the chair. “I’ll be right outside if you need anything.”

I needed air. I needed to clear my head. I needed to forget.

~

“EVERYTHING OKAY?” ANA asked when I walked back into the room.

“Yeah. Jackson said to tell you he’s fine.”

“You spoke to him?” She sat upright, and I nodded. “I suppose if I ask, you’ll tell me you’re sworn to secrecy?”

“Will it change anything if you know?”

Ana’s mouth turned down at the corners. “No. I just—god, this is hard. I hate it.”

“So let’s talk about something else. We’re both stuck here for a while.”

Her eyes widened, her mouth falling open. “Well, geez, thanks.”

I chuckled. “Just don’t go into labor on me. I am a guy of many talents, but I don’t plan to add midwife to my skillset anytime soon.”

Ana smiled. “It’s good to see you, Dennis, truly. You know, I never got much out of Cass, but whatever happened with you guys?”

She went there. Of course, she fucking went there because that was what chicks did—they talked and asked questions and kept asking until you were forced to surrender answers you knew they wouldn’t like. Answers that would change the way they saw you. Answers that would change everything.

“Not going there,” I said coolly. More coolly than I had intended, but Cass was off-limits. A place I rarely allowed myself to go.

“Humor me. Did you love her?”

“Fuck, Ana. Just come straight out with it, why don’t you?”

“I’m hormonal. It’s my excuse for everything.” She let out a strained laugh, and it cracked the hard shell I’d built around myself the last couple of years. I’d let someone in once; I didn’t intend to do it again.

“Yes, I loved her.”

“But it wasn’t enough?”

“Look,” I said, running a brisk hand over my head and tilting my face up to focus on the ceiling tiles. “Cass and I, we weren’t like you and Jackson. There was never a happy ending for us.”

“But—”

“You don’t quit, do you?” My eyebrow cocked. “Cassie and I are from different worlds.”

“Are?”

“Excuse me?”

“You said are,” she stated as if I should know what in the hell she was talking about.

“So?”

“So if she was in your past, you would have said were.”

“Ana ...” I warned, irritation heavy in my voice.

“Answer one question for me, and I’ll shut up.”

I let out an exasperated breath, thinking that maybe I should have stayed outside in the main hallway. “One question, fine.”

“Do you still think about her?”

I stared at her, unable to speak over the lump in my throat.

Did I still think about Cassie?

Every second of every minute of every single fucking day.

A heavy silence settled over us. It was awkward as fuck, but then Ana said something that drove the guilt further into my heart.

“You made the wrong choice, Dennis.”

ANA

He still loved her. I could see it in his eyes. Even after all this time, Dennis loved Cassie. And something in me refused to stay quiet. It was silly really. We weren’t in college anymore. We all had our own lives. Families, business, responsibilities. I hadn’t heard from Cassie in a couple of years, but I heard from Elena that she was teaching in California. Their breakup had been rough on her, that I did know. But Cassie never turned to me the way I thought she might—I guess I was too much of a reminder of what she lost. Of what she couldn’t have.

“What?”

My head shot up, meeting his steely glare. I’d forgotten how cool Dennis could be.

“It’s nothing,” I said.

“No, come on. You might as well say whatever is on your mind.”

“She came to me one night, you know.” Dennis shifted uncomfortably on the chair, but he didn’t stop me, so I continued. “She wanted to know how I did it. How I stayed with Jackson ... after everything. During everything.”

“Let me guess. You told her to walk away and never look back.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “I did no such thing. I told her that if she loved you, if it was real, then it was worth fighting for.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” I shook my head. “Geez, guys can be so clueless.”

“Hey, right here.”

“She was prepared to make it work, Dennis. I saw it in her eyes, and you went and screwed it up.” The emotion bubbled up that quick. I had no time to push it back down, and tears trickled down my face.

“Oh, shit, Ana, don’t get upset.”

“I’m sorry.” I sniffled. “It’s the hormones. I’m a wreck.” And Jackson was in danger. I’m almost certain some of my outburst was because of that.

“I’ll go grab us a drink and check in with Jackson. Be right back.” Dennis slipped out of the room, probably relieved to get away from the hormonal pregnant woman. Less than a week ago, my life had been normal. Sure, I would have preferred my life without Braiden in it, but in the last forty-eight hours, everything had started to unravel around me.

The tears came harder. Ugly dirty sobs wracked my body until the room filled with the sounds of my pain. The regret. Blind panic. If anything happened to Jackson ... I couldn’t even think about it. He had to be okay. He had to come back to me—to us—because life without Jackson was like life without air. I needed him. We needed him.

I clutched the bed sheets around me and cried until my breath grew ragged and then labored. Until the pain in my chest spread to my stomach and cramps twisted through me until my cries turned frantic.

Until nurses and doctors rushed into the room and everything went black.

DENNIS

I watched in horror as bodies rushed into Ana’s room. Of course, it was the exact moment Jackson answered his cell.

“How is she?”

“Hmm, hang on, I need to check something.”

My hand slid over the speaker as I inched toward the room. The door was ajar, but as I tried to peer inside, a nurse stepped into my view. “You can’t be here.”

“I was just here visiting. Is she okay?”

“You’ll need to wait in the waiting area.”

“Are you kidding me? I was just here. Ana? Ana?” Panic filled my voice, but the nurse refused to budge.

“This isn’t helping her. She’s going to be fine, but we need space to get things under control. Someone will come and update you soon, okay?” Her voice softened a fraction but did little to ease the storm sweeping through me.

I backed away, trying to get a glimpse of Ana. As I walked away, I realized I was still clutching the phone.

“Dennis? What the fuck is going on? Where’s Ana?”

“Ana is, hmm, she’s fine.” The words rolled out before I could decide what to do.

“Dennis,” he warned.

Shit. Who I was kidding. Ana needed Jackson, and Jackson needed to be here. Not chasing ghosts.

“Something’s wrong.”

“I’m on my way.”

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