"You're my good luck charm." Walker brushes a stray hair behind my ear. He stares into my eyes like I'm the source of all the beauty and wonder in the universe.

It's right there on his cell phone. A text from his mom.

You're right. We need to push her. Let's set something up in a few weeks.

His parents are going to throw down an ultimatum.

They're going to push his sister into rehab.

It's fucking weird they're telling him in a text.

But it's good.

My shoulders relax. My chest warms. It's like it's my sister who's finally getting help.

His relief is my relief.

I want this for him so badly. "You would have gotten through that without me."

"Maybe. But I wouldn't take that bet." He plants a soft, sweet kiss on my lips. "Pretty sure that was eighty percent you convincing them."

"It's the PhD thing."

He nods. "Yeah. It would annoy me that they think I'm an idiot because I'm not in school, but I'm too happy to care."

Light bounces off our sleek white table. We're at a trendy ice cream place in Beverly Hills for dessert and… well, I guess it's a celebration now.

My coffee ice cream with chocolate chips on top is rich, creamy perfection.

And he's here. And this is going to be okay.

And we…

Well, if he really does mean the past is the past, then we'll be okay too.

Does he mean that?

I'm trying to believe it.

I want to believe it.

"What about last night?" I suck ice cream off my plastic spoon. "When I stumbled into your place to find your sister high on your couch?"

"She'd have been there either way."

Probably true. "She always goes to you?"

"Yeah." He licks chocolate chip ice cream from his spoon.

"And you're the only person who really lays down the law?"

"As far as I know."

"She wants you to help. Deep down."

"Incredibly deep." He sets his spoon down, slides his arms around me, and pulls me onto his lap.

There's all this trust in his eyes. I want all of it. I want to deserve all of it.

"I feel greedy as fuck."

"Are you about to steal my ice cream?"

He shakes his head. "Taking all your help. Monopolizing the conversation."

"I'm glad to help. And listen."

"Still." He stares up at me. "You're thinking something."

"Always."

"What?"

Something I'm not ready to say. I reach for something else. "About those summer internships."

Walker brushes my hair behind my ear. "Which way are you leaning?"

"I don't know. Do you want me to stay?"

"I want you to live in my bed."

"I'll get chaffed."

"It will be worth it."

My smile spreads over my cheeks. God, he does something to me. Makes me feel like the world is going to be okay. "I can stay."

"You don't have to."

"I know." I want to. "I have time to decide."

He nods. "You're still thinking something?"

"This is good. I'm happy for you. Really."

"Me too." He plants a soft kiss on my lips. "But there's something else."

"Maybe."

"Your sister?"

"Always." It's always the same. But I'm starting to think it's salvageable.

"Anything I can do?"

"No." I take another spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. It tastes sweeter. I'm starting to believe him. "I think I'm going to call her."

"Yeah?"

"Apologize for everything. Ask to see her. To buy her coffee. She works in Santa Monica. I could do it anytime. I just…"

"Scared she'll say no?"

"Basically." I sink into his body, resting my head against his.

"You want me to hold your hand?"

"No. That won't help. My ex… Ross. He was a friend of hers. She wasn't happy about that."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"You stole her boyfriend."

"No. Maybe. She had a boyfriend at the time." Maybe Lily did have a thing for Ross. She made him sound so great when she described him. I thought it was because she wanted to set us up. But she might have wanted him for herself. "It was more than that. I leaned on her more than she could handle."

He pulls me closer. "Tell me about it."

"Don't you want to celebrate?"

"I want to hear this."

Okay. I want to tell him. But I'm not about to bring down the mood with my ugly past. Not if it doesn't matter to him.

I run my fingers over his neck. "It's a long story."

"I've got all night."

I motion to the door. "This place closes in an hour."

"Damn. I forgot that this ice cream shop is the only place in the world where we can have a conversation. Fuck. We better hurry up."

"Asshole."

"You can come over."

Maybe. I want to. But—"I have an early class."

"We can go to your place. Sleep."

"Can we?"

He laughs. "Fair enough." He turns me so we're face-to-face. "You don't have to say shit. I meant it, Iris. The past is the past. But I want to be someone you can lean on. If you want to talk—"

"I do. I just… I haven't really talked about this with anyone."

His eyes stay soft. Understanding.

"Lily was always the pretty, athletic one. She still is. She's in a volleyball league. She's good. I was more—"

"The Star Wars geek?"

"Yeah. I looked up to her. I thought she was the coolest person in the world. She was smart too, but she didn't apply herself. If she wasn't into a subject, she'd half ass it, whereas I'd study even harder, bring home straight As."

"You seem like the type."

"I always got the grades. I did well in college. But then I graduated and I hit a wall. I was lucky. I got a job pretty fast. I was excited about the future. Then… then I got my GRE scores back. They were terrible. I'd bombed. It was the first time I really failed at something."

"That must have sucked."

"Yeah. But I wasn't ready to face the possibility of failure. I couldn't stand how badly I wanted to go to grad school. It hurt. So I told myself I didn't want it. I told myself I didn't need the GRE. I tried to convince myself that my boring administrative job was what I wanted."

"Did it work?"

"Not really. I was miserable. I didn't use my brain at work. I felt so dull and listless. For a while, I tried to fill the gaps with other stuff. Work out plans. Reading three books a week. Drinking too much. Perfecting my winged eyeliner."

"That's why I can't stop staring into your eyes?"

"Of course." I press my palm against his chest. His shirt is stiff, but I can feel the heat of him underneath it. "I was sure I was stuck. That nothing would ever change."

He brushes my hair behind my ear.

"And I felt bad for feeling bad. I had a job even though I had a psych degree. I made enough to afford my own apartment. To get takeout for dinner and buy a membership at the nice gym. I was lucky."

"Most people need more than an apartment to be happy."

"Yeah. I know. I knew. I knew how complicated people were, how much a fulfilling job affects your satisfaction with your life."

"Does school fulfill you?"

"Yeah. I love it. I think, deep down, I knew I wouldn't be happy unless I was pursuing grad school. But I was too scared to face it. It was easier to close myself off to that possibility. But it made me desperate for any sort of approval or excitement. That was when I started seeing Ross. He was a good guy in certain ways. But not others."

"He hurt you?"

"No." Not the way he means. "He always convinced me to do stupid things." Like swallow a handful of prescription pain killers to numb my feelings. "Drink too much. Then get in a car with him even though he'd had a few. Go to a stranger's place. Skip a condom. I was stupid. But I… I am clean, if you were wondering. I got tested a few months ago. We hadn't for a while."

He nods. "I am too."

"Yeah. We, um, I'm on the shot. So, we could not use a condom sometime."

"Fuck, Iris, I'm trying to concentrate here."

"Oh. You want to?"

His nod is heavy.

"I, uh… I should get back to the topic."

"Right away."

God, he looks cute all needy and horny. And sex makes sense. Sex doesn't poke or prod at my secrets. Sex doesn't beg me to spill my guts.

We should go back to my place. Fuck like rabbits. Use our mouths for something much better than conversation.

But he's still staring into my eyes with all the trust in the world.

Like I'm his salvation.

Is it possible he meant it?

That the past really is the past?

That he won't leave when he knows the truth?

Please, please, please let it be possible.

Walker runs his fingertips along my chin.

I force myself to keep talking. "But Ross, he didn't make me happy. So I turned to Lily." Then to drugs. And when that didn't fulfill me, I'd blame her too. "I'd get mad at her. Blame her for my dissatisfaction. I got her fired once."

"Fuck, really?"

"Yeah. I kept calling and showing up at her office. She wouldn't pay attention to me. And I needed… I guess I needed to face reality. But I thought that if only she'd talk to me, she could fix it. She used to fix everything. When we were kids."

"I get that. And the dissatisfaction."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Last few years of high school until I started doing ink. I felt like my life would never go anywhere. Like I was doomed to turn into my parents. I fucked around a lot. It was a good distraction, but it never really satisfied me."

"And now?"

"I love what I do. But I want more out of life too."

"Your friends?"

He nods.

"Your sister clean?"

"Yeah. That's the main thing now. Everything else—surfing, working out, reading—feels like a distraction. I love that shit. But it's not what I really want."

"And what do you really want?"

"To help the people I love." He looks up at me. "Find the people I love." He brushes my hair behind my ear. "What do you want?"

"I'm still not sure. Not beyond school."

"You'll get there."

I nod.

Right now, I believe him.

Right now, I believe it's possible there will be an us.