Andrew wondered if he’d made a huge mistake.

It hit him toward the end of his pre-sex shower (alone, of course, whilst Colin was using the one in the second bathroom). Throughout their relationship, he’d been so careful not to spook Colin with intimidating expectations. Now, on the day when Colin was undoubtedly feeling most vulnerable, Andrew had put forward a massive, impossibly vague demand. And nearly lost Colin as a result.

He shut off the taps and hurried to dry himself. Tying the towel about his waist, Andrew entered his empty bedroom. Through the open door he heard footsteps approach, along with a soft clinking noise.

Colin entered, also wearing nothing but a towel, carrying the bottle of red wine and a pair of glasses, which he set on the bedside table. “Hope it’s all right I brought this in. What with your white sheets and all.”

“It’s fine.” The moment Colin had filled one glass halfway, Andrew grabbed it and took a large sip. “Forgive me. I threw this lovemaking thing at you with no warning. I never meant to pressure you.”

To his relief, Colin laughed. “It’s all right.” He took a brief sip of wine. “I was a bit freaked out at first. I even considered Googling ‘the difference between fucking and making love.’”

Andrew felt himself melt inside. “That’s adorable.”

Colin gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I was afraid of doing it wrong, that afterward you’d be like, ‘No, sorry, that’s not it. But thank you for playing.’”

“I would never—”

“I know that.” Colin set his glass on the bedside table. “No, that’s a lie. I don’t know it for certain.” Then dropped to his knees on the floor, between Andrew’s thighs. “But I believe it.” He reached both arms around Andrew’s waist and pressed his cheek to his stomach.

Andrew stroked Colin’s hair, letting the emotion stream out through his fingertips, willing this man to feel how accepted he was. How loved he was.

Acknowledging this love made Andrew feel utterly unmoored. It felt like the time he was water skiing and hit an obstacle beneath the waves. He’d tumbled arse over tit through the air for what seemed forever, then hit the water face first.

But now Colin was here, holding him steady. After a few eternal moments, he shifted to the side and slipped an arm beneath Andrew’s knees. Then in one swift motion he stood up, holding Andrew in his arms.

“Oh!” Andrew’s swoon had nothing to do with the sudden change in altitude. He linked his hands behind Colin’s neck. “What about your knee?”

“It’s fine. The pain was probably just in my head, what with all the stress of our contest.” He climbed onto the bed. “Which I won, by the way.”

“This is quite the romantic posture,” Andrew said, wanting to change the subject from their adventures in politicking. “Though a bit odd, since we are the same size.”

“We’re not.” Colin laid him down gently, then stretched out beside him. “I’m at least a centimeter taller and a stone heavier,” he added as he undid Andrew’s towel, letting his fingertips trickle against bare skin.

Andrew shivered at the sensation, then shifted his head on the thick pillow to see all of Colin, whose own towel had become dislodged on the way across the bed. “We’re the same size in some departments,” Andrew said as he aligned their semi-erect cocks and started stroking them together.

“Don’t, not yet,” Colin whispered. He gently removed Andrew’s hand, then laced their fingers. “Just let me kiss you.”

Andrew let him, closing his eyes to better memorize every brush of lips, sweep of tongue, tug of teeth. He felt each kiss down to the soles of his feet, and at the depths of his belly, and at the ends of every hair on his arms and legs and head.

Still kissing him, Colin unjoined their hands and began to stroke Andrew’s cheek with just the pads of his fingertips, stealing his last coherent thoughts. The caresses drifted downward, over Andrew’s throat, skating the line of his collarbone, then circling ever closer to his nipple, which burned to be touched.

Colin’s five fingertips surrounded the erect nub, inches away, then slowly drew together, like dancers in a reel. When they met in a light, firm clasp, an electric surge zipped through Andrew’s body. He moaned against Colin’s mouth.

Colin proceeded to make good on his Just let me kiss you command. Every inch of Andrew’s body received Colin’s lips and tongue, until it felt he’d been born with this mouth already inhabiting his cells.

So by the time Colin reached for a condom, Andrew was a quivering mass of desire, ready to explode.

Lying on his back, he lifted and spread his thighs. Colin edged close and began to tease Andrew’s hole with the lube-slick head of his cock, making him squirm and whimper with need.

Then Colin stopped and whispered, “Tell me what you want.”

Andrew was tempted, in the heat of lust, to urge him on with a Fuck me. No words drove Colin madder. And he always obeyed, giving Andrew some of the wildest, most mind-shattering sex of his life.

But that wasn’t what Andrew wanted this time. So he held Colin’s gaze and said, “Make love to me.”

Colin’s lips parted in either wonder or disbelief. Then he pressed forward, carefully, until Andrew’s body drew him inside. Releasing a soft och, he looked as helpless as Andrew felt.

With each inhale, Andrew filled with the energy between them. With each exhale, he took Colin deeper, expanding around that warm, thick length that made him feel complete.

When they were fully joined, Colin settled forward onto Andrew’s chest. Andrew held him in a soft embrace, resting his fingertips on the tattoo beside his spine. He couldn’t feel an impression of the ink, but by now he knew exactly which ribs and vertebrae the lyric stretched between. He’d learned every curve of this man’s back in moments like this, when they adhered to each other in near stillness, with Colin’s pelvis the only moving part in this single divine body.

“You feel so good,” Colin whispered against Andrew’s cheek. “I want to make this last.”

Make it last forever. Andrew folded one hand over the ridge of Colin’s hipbone. “Not sure how long I can endure. After all that delicious preamble, I’m near to bursting.”

Colin lifted his head. “Are you, aye?” He slipped his arms beneath Andrew’s back, then, without withdrawing, rolled them over in a graceful maneuver so that Andrew was on top. “Gonnae let’s make you burst.”

Oh yes. Please. Andrew clutched the top of the padded headboard as Colin held his hips steady and began to thrust upward. It wasn’t the usual hard, quick pounding, but rather a slow, steady roll that seemed to reach every inch within. Andrew’s cock jerked and twitched with the growing tension inside him.

Colin slowed to a stop. “Now you.”

Andrew took over, pumping his own hips, finding the exact speed and angle he needed. His nails dug into the headboard, and he felt every muscle go taut, then tauter still as his orgasm drew near.

At precisely the right moment, Colin began to stroke Andrew’s cock.

“Yes!” Andrew cried, and every word after that was unintelligible, even to his own ears. Arching his back like a bow, he bent over and kissed Colin as he came.

You know just what I need, he thought. And what I need is you.

Things were complicated now.

This is real, Colin thought as he laid a limp, quivering Andrew on the bed beside him. There was no going back, only forward. Each kiss Colin had given Andrew’s body before he’d entered it was a promise to never run away again.

“That was pure close.” Colin settled behind Andrew on their sides, spooning him. “For a second I thought I might come too.”

“Mmm.” Andrew shifted his arse to position himself, then took Colin back inside without the aid of hands. “Come if you want.”

Colin was tempted, feeling that hot, slick hole envelop him again. With a deep groan, he held Andrew’s hips still. “Not yet. I meant what I said about making it last.” His hand drifted forward, gently cradling Andrew’s balls. “Especially if you might come again.”

Andrew placed his hand over Colin’s. “I might,” he said with an ache in his voice. “God, this is so intense. Despite the lack of role-playing and acrobatics.”

“Despite or because of?”

Andrew turned his head on the pillow to look at Colin. Though his eyes were still hazy with pleasure, they seemed to be asking his own question rather than answering Colin’s.

Colin’s response was the softest kiss, one that lingered until Andrew closed his eyes and sighed. Then Colin laid his head on the pillow behind Andrew’s and began to move within him again, slowly now. Their legs formed a loose, lazy tangle, pressing skin to skin, knees to thighs, feet to calves.

This was what Colin needed too, what he could never have asked for.

He reached down farther, between Andrew’s thighs, to the place where they joined. Andrew gasped as Colin squeezed one fingertip inside next to his cock, then added another.

“God…” Andrew grabbed Colin’s wrist, pushing his fingers deeper. “Oh!” He arched his neck, curling his entire spine against Colin’s chest.

Colin moved faster now, with short, shallow thrusts that wouldn’t dislodge his fingers. Between Andrew’s noises and full-body shudders, Colin knew neither of them would last much longer. He needed to make the most of this.

So he carefully pulled his hand free, then wrapped his arm tight around Andrew’s chest. Burying his face in Andrew’s soft, sweet-smelling hair, he lengthened his strokes, hoping every undulation of his hips conveyed the depth of his feelings. I’m not fucking you, he thought. I’m making love to you.

Was this love? He hoped so, because if this was merely a pale imitation, then the real thing would probably kill him.

“Colin,” Andrew said, panting. “Don’t leave me again.”

“I won’t,” Colin answered in his next breath, before fear or good sense could steal the words away. “I cannae leave you.” He pressed his lips to Andrew’s ear. “I need you.”

Andrew quaked inside, and his moans suddenly pitched up. Colin reached down and grasped Andrew’s cock, pumping him in time to the rhythm of his thrusts.

“Yes! Oh God, ohhhhhhhh!” Andrew’s last syllable went on and on, rising in pitch. His arse began to twitch and spasm around Colin’s cock. Clutching their pillow, Andrew screamed again and again.

The sight, sound, and feel of Andrew’s orgasm sent Colin over the edge. As if from a distance, he heard himself cry out as he came. It was like dying and being reborn at the same time, as if one moment he was only his own, and in the next, he was lost to this man beside him.

Lost, but also found.

Colin returned from the bathroom, expecting to find Andrew sitting up in bed sipping wine, or perhaps even away to the kitchen assembling dinner.

But he was still lying where Colin had left him, only now he was half under the duvet instead of atop it. With an arm draped over his head, he stared at the ceiling with that same dazed look he always had after sex (though never for this long).

“Hey.” Colin went over and picked up one of the wine glasses, unsure which was his. “All right?”

Andrew turned his head to gaze at him, and the sight—those blissful silver-blue eyes, the rampantly tousled hair, and one long, tan, bare leg stretching out from beneath the white cover—nearly brought Colin to his knees. He wished he were a photographer, so he could capture the utter artistry of this moment.

“Come here,” Andrew said, just above a whisper.

Colin held up the other wine glass, but Andrew shook his head.

“Just you,” he said, lifting the edge of the covers. “Lie with me.”

Colin obeyed. Andrew shifted next to him, then slowly rested his arm across Colin’s chest.

“Oh.” Colin carefully moved his own arm aside and looped it over Andrew’s shoulders, half expecting to be pushed away. But Andrew settled his head upon Colin, tucking his face into his neck.

Hiding his shock, Colin pulled him close with both arms. “Are we cuddling, then?” he had to ask.

“We are sharing a moment of quiet repose,” Andrew murmured, his breath brushing Colin’s skin. “Call it whatever you like.”

I call it paradise. Colin fought the urge to cling, and instead merely stroked his thumb against the impossibly smooth skin of Andrew’s elbow.

“Did you mean it,” Andrew asked, “when you said you won’t leave? I feel like you’re always on the verge of walking out forever.”

Apparently Colin had done a poor job of hiding his instincts. “I never wanted to leave. I just didn’t want to be asked to leave.”

“Oh Colin.” Andrew tightened his embrace for a long moment. Then he shifted his other arm up to rest his elbow on Colin’s pillow. “If you stay, I can’t promise it’ll be easy. This world will not be kind to us as a couple. I can’t shield you from all the prejudice we’ll face, but I can promise I won’t abandon you. I won’t walk away.” He took Colin’s hand and kissed his knuckles. “Will you make me that same promise?”

“I—sorry, I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

“I want us to be boyfriends,” Andrew blurted. “Publicly. I don’t mean to make an announcement or anything crass like that. But I don’t want to hide you anymore.”

Colin’s tongue felt stuck to the roof of his mouth. He managed a shaky nod.

“Is that a yes?” Andrew asked.

“Aye.” Colin took Andrew’s face in his hands and kissed him. “Aye, it’s a yes. Aye, I want this. It’s fucking terrifying, but aye, I want it.”

“Oh, thank God. I was about to pass out there for a moment.” He reached across Colin for the wine glasses. “Really need that drink now.”

They sat up to toast their new status, then sipped side by side, legs pressed together, holding tight to each other’s free hand. Colin’s heart was still slamming his chest. He felt like he was about to dive into the biggest rave crowd of his life, a crowd that might not catch him.

“It’ll be a challenge,” Andrew said, “introducing you to society.” He gave Colin a sly smile. “But I know just where to start.”