It didn’t matter to me how freaking beautiful the ballroom was, or how much the guys had assured me once I caught a glimpse of the etiquette itinerary that my skills in gymnastics would probably lead to grace on a dance floor. It still made me want to run screaming in the opposite direction. The sunlight streamed in through the high glass windows. Girls giggled and talked along the sidelines as they waited their turn. Mr. Giovanni, our instructor, winced as I, once again, stumbled onto his foot. His feet weren’t large for a man’s either; they were actually rather small. It made no sense why mine would hone in on his and stomp on his little toes at every opportunity.

“Alright,” he said, stepping away from me abruptly, “I think that perhaps you need a break. I will give another lady a chance to practice now.”

I think both of us breathed a sigh of relief when I agreed. I really wanted to go sit down and hide for the next couple of hours. Two days at Villa de la Enders, aka the etiquette camp from hell, and I was no further in getting any information on anyone. Ms. Enders had held up to Delilah’s belief. I had been able to call the guys at least once a night and Texas assured us that her financials were clean, if a bit wane. If she was getting any blackmail money, it certainly wasn’t on any accounts that she had listed. So far, he hadn’t been able to find any unlisted accounts either.

I stepped back against the wall as Mr. Giovanni called forth Isador who, with her dark curls and her olive toned skin, practically floated around the dance floor in his arms. I pinched my lips and watched as she stepped forward and then back, following Mr. Giovanni’s lead. That’s what he had instructed us to do – I thought I had been doing that, but it looked like when she stepped forward he stepped back. When I had stepped forward, he had stayed right where he was.

Ms. Enders’ ballroom was long and elaborate. With benches under each window and each window set a yard apart. With hardwood floors that shone, and French doors that led out onto a beautiful balcony and matched the same French doors that led in from the grand hall. Matching chandeliers hung from the high ceilings and deep burgundy drapes hung alongside each window. Even as I sat next to a chattering Natalia and Delilah, it was hard to acknowledge that I was actually here. I was wearing a dress that had probably cost more than some people’s paychecks. I was in heels and makeup and... I missed my cat.

I hadn’t thought much of Cleo since Alex had told us we were leaving, but I missed her all of a sudden. Alex had assured the guys and me that he or someone close would stop by regularly to check on her, feed her, and clean her litter box. I knew that she was taken care of. I couldn’t stop myself from missing her though. I missed my mom too. I wondered what she would say if she could see me now. I hoped that when we got back the guys might let me tell her what we had done. I wanted her to know that I was doing well. I wasn’t just doing okay, but doing well. This job was important. It was the difference between an innocent young woman – perhaps several young women – being hurt and blackmailed, and living freely.

I looked around me at Delilah, Natalia, Isador – the rest. They were so young. I certainly wasn’t the youngest one here, but I wasn’t the oldest either. They were all far too young for someone to take advantage of them. And yet, that was probably exactly why someone was taking advantage of them. Something clicked in my brain as I looked over the girls with a new vision in mind. Was someone targeting them purposefully because of their gender and age? Their connections were a given. But why these girls? Why now? Had it been going on for a lot longer than we thought?

Quietly, I leaned over to Delilah and tapped her on the shoulder. She twisted her head my way. “Do you remember the conversation we had by the lake the other day?” I asked. She frowned, but nodded. “You said something about rumors being spread about the camp,” I said. “How long have there been rumors?”

“Oh,” Delilah said, “Julia – I mean, Ms. Enders, she’s always had to deal with handling the rumor mill. She says you can’t get girls and guys together without something happening and someone being blamed. People like to point fingers and since she’s the one in charge, it’s usually her.”

“Girls and guys?” I blinked at her, confusion clear in my tone. “What do you mean? I thought this was just an etiquette camp for girls.”

“It is,” Delilah replied, nodding, “but Mr. Wallace runs his own etiquette camp for young gentlemen – not as popular– but he usually runs sessions in the Fall and Spring while Ms. Enders runs them in the Winter and Summer. At the end of our two weeks here, Ms. Enders’ throws a cotillion – well, it’s more of a pretend cotillion, a practice run of sorts. We don’t have to wear the white dresses – and Mr. Wallace invites his past pupils to visit and attend. It’s usually not so bad because powerful families know powerful families. You’re sure to recognize a few people. Some of the boys will be escorting the girls, those who haven’t made previous arrangements, but most are just there to socialize.”

“He doesn’t do the same with his camps?” I asked.

Delilah laughed. “Boys don’t do cotillions.” I could tell the very concept was more than amusing. She wheezed, trying to stay upright and keep her laughter under control, but even tears began to form in her eyes.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” I said quickly, feeling my cheeks flush. “I just meant that he doesn’t invite Ms. Enders’ past pupils to visit the boys?”

“He wouldn’t want the scandal,” Delilah said with a shake of her head. Natalia looked at the two of us as if we were crazy. Then she shrugged, turning to her sister when Isador came back to sit down and told us that Mr. Giovanni had asked for Natalia.

“What are we talking about?” Isador asked.

“Mr. Wallace’s etiquette camp for boys,” Delilah said.

Isador wrinkled her nose. “As much as I don’t like the etiquette courses, I would rather be here, at Ms. Enders’ than Mr. Wallace’s.”

“Why do you say that?” I was like a dog with a bone, I knew, but I was onto something, I just knew it.

“You wouldn’t know it by looking at him,” Isador confessed, leaning closer, “but he’s militant with his boys. When he’s working as Ms. Enders’ personal assistant, he takes a backseat role, but we all know why he’s really here.”

Before I could ask, Delilah nodded her head sympathetically. “It’s because he needs the money,” she said. My eyes widened as she continued. “He has two daughters; Margarie works for Ms. Enders.” I blinked, recognizing the name. That had been the same woman who had shown me to my room the first night. “And Kayla…” Delilah drifted and even Isador looked sad as she turned her eyes down.

“What?” I asked, confused by their reactions. “What about Kayla?”

Delilah’s voice lowered just below a whisper so that no one around us could hear. The classical music playing over the speakers at the far side of the room for Natalia and Mr. Giovanni further shielded her words. I found it curious, though, that she would take such precaution anyway. I leaned forward. “Kayla had a really hard time with the courses,” Delilah confided. “She got involved with one of the staff members – that’s why, I don’t know if you’ve noticed – but Ms. Enders only allows female staff now other than Mr. Wallace.”

“What happened?” I asked, a bad feeling forming.

“Turns out he was flat broke, and he was only going after her because he thought she was rich. He didn’t realize that she was Mr. Wallace’s daughter – if Margarie wanted, she could take Ms. Enders’ courses for free – and when he found out, he dumped her. It was awful. There was screaming and crying.”

“It happened here?” I had no clue who this girl was, but my heart broke for her. I thought about Knix and Bellamy and Marv and strangely...Grayson and Texas too. None of them knew about the three I had kissed. I had kissed Marv twice. What would they all say if they knew? How would they look at me?

I didn’t realize Delilah had kept talking until she put her hand on my knee, jerking me out of my mind. “Please,” she said earnestly. “You can’t tell anyone about this. It’s embarrassing for Mr. Wallace.”

“Why?” I asked. “Wouldn’t Mr. Wallace be happy that the guy is gone? She can move on.”

Isador and Delilah were both silent for several moments. Long enough that my eyes darted up and around to see if anyone was paying us any attention. No one was. Natalia was standing off to the side now, across the room with another couple of girls that I vaguely recognized from the past few days, but none that I could name. Mr. Giovanni was with another girl, who was struggling just as much as I had. He grimaced as she stomped on his foot. I turned back to Isador and Delilah.

Delilah shook her head and Isador stood up and moved off towards her sister. I watched her go, surprised. Delilah’s next words rooted me to the spot. “She committed suicide.” I felt like my chest had been punched in. I stared down at the shining floor and half expected my organs to be scattered at my feet. They weren’t. I struggled to breathe, not just because I was shocked, but because ideas were starting to form in my head.

“I’m sorry,” I said, standing. “Will you excuse me.” Delilah nodded. She seemed surprised, but also… not by my reaction. I didn’t stop to think about it because I was already heading for the hallway. I slipped through the doors, looked both ways, and quickly pulled my phone from my pocket.

Marv answered on the first ring. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I said, striding down the hall. “Hold on, let me get outside.” I held the phone to my chest and when I came to the end of the grand hall, I looked around once more, before opening the front door and stepping outside. There were gardeners snipping the bushes on the far side of the property. They were far enough away that I knew they wouldn’t be able to hear me. I put the phone back to my ear.

“–she’s moving,” I heard. “No, give me a moment with her. You can talk to her after.”

“Marv?” I descended the front steps and made my way around the villa, watching the windows.

“I’m here,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing – well, it’s…” Suicide wasn’t nothing, but it wasn’t.... God, how did I explain to them? “What about Mr. Wallace?” I asked, just jumping into the deep end and hoping Marv would understand.

“The PA?” he asked.

“He’s not just a personal assistant,” I said. “He has his own etiquette courses or camp thing. Did you know that?”

Marv hummed for a moment before saying something I couldn’t make out to someone in the background. “Yea,” he answered. “Why? What have you learned?”

“His daughter – her name was Kayla – she used to come to Ms. Enders’ camp.” I quickly relayed everything Delilah and Isador had revealed.

Marv was quiet for several moments and I heard typing in the background, and then not in the background, as if it was right next to my ear. Had Marv put me on speaker phone? That was answered with a definite yes in the next moment when Texas spoke.

“He hasn’t had any unusual spikes in his accounts,” Texas said, “but he is hurting for money. At least, he is for a business owner. You said his camp takes place in the Fall and Spring?”

“Yea.”

More typing ensued.

“That correlates,” Texas replied.

“So, what?” I asked.

“The accounts could be off shore,” I heard Marv murmur. “I want to call Knix and Bell and let them know.”

“Where are they?” I asked as I found a stone bench under a large tree along the side of the villa. When I sat, I could see both the back and front lawns at an angle. I would see if anyone approached.

I frowned when Marv didn't answer right away. "They're...out right now."

"Out where?" I pressed.

Texas stopped typing and answered this time, his voice clear over the line. "We can't tell you, Princess. I'm sorry."

"Why not?" I snapped. "I'm part of the team, aren't I? Why can't you tell me?"

"It's not about you being a part of the team or not," he said, keeping his tone even. "It's just...we have to follow our orders."

"Knix told you not to tell me," I realized. "Fine, if you don't want to tell me. That's fine." It was so anything but fine. "I have to go."

"Wait, Harlow," Marv called. "Don't be mad. We're sorry."

"I'm not mad." I took a breath and tried to mean it. I knew I was being irrational, but I was here in this stupid camp because we were working a job. I was just as much a part of the team as they were, and they knew where Knix and Bellamy were. It wasn't fair. I wasn't just mad. I was furious. "Listen," I said through clenched teeth, "I have to go. They're gonna notice that I've been gone for a while."

"Wait, Har–"

The moment I ended the call my eyes began to water. I sniffed hard and rubbed my wrists against my cheeks. They didn't want to tell me anything they were doing, that was fine. I didn't care. Or at least, I tried to tell myself that I didn't as I made my way back into the building. I tucked my phone away as I rejoined Delilah, Isador, and Natalia in the ballroom.

Later that night, I was lying face down on my bed with my phone in hand. The guys had continued to text me throughout the day. At first, it was mostly just Texas and Marv, but then later it was all four of them. They were inconspicuous. I knew they were being careful just in case anyone managed to snag my phone while I was here. Mostly just "I miss you's," and "can we talk soon's?" Anyone who did look through my phone would think that I was a player.

I jerked as that thought entered my mind, and turned over, curling on my side. They wouldn't be wrong, I realized. I was a player. I had kissed three of my guys and if I was honest, I didn't think I would mind it if Texas kissed me. He was sweet and, at least some of the time, a cute sneaky trickster. He could make me laugh and cuddle me at the same time. I remembered after I had met that girl at the dance club, the one that had motivated me to come here in the first place, Texas had been so sweet. I loved hearing about his grandparents. He sounded like he cared about them a lot. I barely knew anything about any of them and I found myself wanting to know more.

My phone buzzed again, and I leaned up to set it on my nightstand before turning away. I knew if I answered, I would only get mad again. I didn't want to say anything that I would feel bad about later. A few minutes later, though, something tapped against my window. At first, I ignored it, picturing a stray branch scraping at the glass, but then I remembered there were no trees against the villa at all. I catapulted myself out of bed and went to the window, popping it open to look around.

A lone figure moved out from the side of the building and my eyes widened. "What are you doing here, Bellamy?!" I hissed as loud as I dared.

"Heard you were mad and you're not answering our texts," he whispered back. "Can I come up?"

"Are you crazy?" I snapped. "What if someone sees you?"

But it was too late, Bellamy was already against the building, gripping the vines and scaling the rocky side of the villa. My eyes widened in shock as I watched him move. He was quick and graceful for such a broad-shouldered guy. He moved with determination as he grabbed at edges and bricks that jutted out from the side of the wall. I backed up as he neared my window, suddenly feeling grateful that I had been too lazy to change into my sleep clothes because I wondered if this meant we were sneaking out somewhere. When his hands gripped the sill and he dragged himself up, squeezing just barely through the frame, I backed up even more, watching him tumble inside. He knocked into my nightstand sending my phone clattering to the floor and the both of us froze.

"Check the hall," he whispered, lying flat next to the bed. I knew he could disappear under the bed frame and mattresses and be out of sight in a second if he needed to. I did as he told me and quickly went to the bedroom door, creaking it open to check up and down the hall. It was the middle of the night, and all of the girls were likely already in bed, asleep. I would be too if it hadn't been for my mind keeping me awake. I quickly shut the door and turned back to Bellamy who took my silence to mean that all was well. He popped up from the floor and brushed off his clothes – jeans with a ripped knee and a dark toned t-shirt.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked. "You could be caught. You shouldn't be here. Does Knix know that you're here?" When he blanched, I narrowed my gaze at him. "He doesn't know, does he? Where does he think you are?"

Bellamy grimaced, rubbing a wide hand down the back of his head, mussing his long dark strands. He had left it down. I was surprised it hadn't caught in the vines as he had climbed up the side of the building. "He thinks I'm out getting food and refilling the car," Bellamy admitted.

I crossed my arms. "And what would he say if he knew you were here?" I demanded.

Bellamy sighed and looked at the floor. "Look, I know he'd be pissed, but I had to see you." His dark chocolate eyes met mine and I felt myself melting. I tried – I really did – to keep my gaze narrowed and my stance strong. But it was hard with those puppy dog eyes of his. I sighed and moved across the room to my bed. He followed, sitting next to me as I climbed onto the mattress.

"I'm still a new to this," I said, "but even I know that you shouldn't be here."

"I parked in the woods. They don't have security guards or a system on the upper windows," he replied.

"And if someone heard you?" I raised my eyebrows.

He shrugged. "They'd think you got lucky." I rolled my eyes as he reached for me, pulling me into his chest. I sighed as his arms wrapped around me. "I missed you, Sweetheart," he said, his breath tickling my hair.

"I'm mad at you." My words had no heat and were muffled against his shirt. He smelled like cinnamon and something else. I wrinkled my nose because the second smell was starchier, and coffee infused. Coffee smelled good on Marv – but this smelled like burnt coffee. It wasn’t like Bellamy’s scent at all. I wondered, briefly, where he had been before climbing through my window.

Bellamy pulled away slightly. "Why are you mad? Tex and Marv said that you called."

"They wouldn't tell me where you were." I meant to say where he and Knix were, but somehow only he had slipped out.

Bellamy moved back against the pillows and pulled me with him until we were both on our sides, facing each other. "They weren't allowed to tell anyone," he said quietly. "We didn't expect you to call. Alex has been checking in regularly, though, and Knix wanted to keep it from him."

"So..." I said, looking up at him through my lashes. "Will you tell me?"

Bellamy was quiet for another moment as he reached up and brushed my hair back, tucking it behind my ear. I shivered as his fingertips brushed the top of my ear and then my cheek, down to my chin and then my neck. "Knix was setting up a meeting with Ms. Enders," he admitted. "And I was meeting with some people in the local town."

"Knix was here?" I asked, shocked. "When? Is he–"

"No, he's not here anymore. He's back at the hotel with the others. He was just asking about how you are adjusting and doing some subtle questioning."

"He was getting her side?" I asked.

"Knix was seeing how she would react to the rumors." Bellamy’s eyes dipped down to mine again and he smiled. He was so beautiful when he smiled. I knew most guys wouldn't like to be called that, but he was. His eyes sparkled and crinkled, and it lit up his whole face. I loved it when he smiled. I sighed, relaxing further into the bedding. Even though I knew it was wrong that he was there and that he was probably going to get into trouble when Knix found out – because there were no secrets, Bellamy would tell him – I was still happy he was there. I curled closer to him, soaking in his warmth in the cold glimmering room.

There were no secrets between the guys...I thought. My eyes blinked open and I looked up at Bellamy again. His eyes were on mine immediately. I wanted to ask if he had told them. If he had told Knix or Texas or Marv about what had happened between us in the BMW. The words dried up in my mouth. Bellamy dipped his head, leaning close. His breath brushed over my lips.

He whispered, "Tell me to stop." I blinked. I opened my mouth. I tried. Nothing came out. "Please, Sweetheart," he begged, shifting closer. My hand touched his chest and he groaned. "If you don't tell me to stop..." he let the sentence drift. I couldn't, I realized. I couldn't tell him to stop because I didn't want him to. I wanted him to kiss me so much that I couldn't even wait for him to do it himself.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He groaned under their ministrations. I licked the seam of his mouth and gently pressed in. His mouth opened, and he kissed me back. Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me close until I was lying on top of him. I gasped as my legs lowered on either side of his hips to straddle him. He sat up, one hand coming up to grip the back of my head and hold me to him. Both of my hands were tangled in his t-shirt. I had to let go, I knew.

One of my hands slid up, wrapping around his neck. I wanted to touch his hair. To grip it. Not many guys had long hair. His shoulder length, dark locks were like a present for me. My other hand drifted up to it and I ran my fingertips through the strands. They were silky, like he had recently showered. I shuddered as Bellamy bit down lightly on my bottom lip. His tongue snaked its way into my mouth and I moaned.

Bellamy rolled, spreading me out on the comforter. He pulled back and grinned wickedly. "Shhh," he cautioned, "we don't want anyone to hear."

I nodded, dazed and he grinned again, descending back towards my mouth.

He kissed me lightly, brushing my lips softly. So softly, it left me frustrated. I curled both of my fists into his hair and held him harder to me as I kissed him. I ravaged his mouth, pressing forward. He groaned and gripped me with the same intensity. His hands on my hips, holding me tightly to him. "Harlow," he whispered against my mouth. "I didn't bring any...uh..." I kissed his neck and he moaned, trying to stifle the noise. "Sweetheart," he panted, holding me, gripping me harder. "We can't."

Bellamy yanked away from me, his chest heaving, and I felt bereft. Cold. Alone. I stared up at him, knowing that my cheeks were flushed. Looking down, I realized that the top buttons of my blouse were undone. I blinked slowly, looking back up at Bellamy. He was staring at me as a man might stare at his last meal – there was want, hunger...need. My heart rate kicked into overdrive. "We can't," he said slowly, his shoulders rising and falling. "We can't do anything more?" Bellamy guessed.

I nodded, so wrapped up in him that I couldn’t focus on what he was saying. All I knew was that I would agree to anything he wanted if it would just put his mouth back on me right then. He hovered over me, and I reached up, cupping his cheek. "Are you okay with this?" he asked, his voice rough, grating in his throat. When I nodded, he shook his head. "No, Sweetheart. I need to hear you say it. Tell me, are you okay with this?"

"I'm okay, Bellamy." I spoke barely above a whisper. "It's okay."

I knew he heard me because, in the next moment, he came over me again. He brushed his hands up my thighs, pushing my skirt up, and settled between my thighs before kissing me again. Our lips sparked something electric and I gasped as his fingers slid under my skirt. He laid out over me, pressing me into the bed. My legs wrapped around him as he ground himself into me, trying to pull me closer. I groaned, feeling the rigid zipper of his jeans between my legs. I squeezed him, wanting to feel it again. I had never felt anything like it.

Shivering as Bellamy trailed open-mouthed kisses down my neck, he quickly undid more of the buttons that held the front of my blouse closed. "God, you're beautiful, Sweetheart," he whispered. I didn't know how to respond, but I felt beautiful. When he looked at me, I knew he wasn't lying or just trying to make me feel good. His whole body rippled over me once more, sending another groan out of my throat.

His mouth silenced the noises I was making, and I couldn't believe it was me making them. Bellamy made me forget where we were. He made me forget why we were there, and why we needed to be quiet. "We can't," he gasped, "fuck, we can't."

I moaned in disbelief as he pulled away from me. His dark eyes met mine. My skin felt alive. My veins were filled with sparks. I didn't know what I was searching for, but it was there, just out of my reach. He looked at me, making my skin flush further as his eyes trailed down my chest. I realized that he had managed to get my shirt completely undone and I was stretched out under him in nothing but my skirt and a bra. His eyes darkened.

"It's okay, Sweetheart," he said when I made another sound of protest as he pulled further away. "I'll take care of you. Don't worry."

"What?" I sat up as Bellamy pulled his shirt over his head and whatever else I had been about to say was lost. Bellamy's naked chest was a muse that Greek artists used to create their statues. My mind puddled and turned to mush as he slowly backed down the bed and lowered himself, sliding his hands up my bare legs. My skirt was pushed up against my upper thighs and everywhere he touched sent waves of fiery heat through me.

"Do you trust me?" he asked. I blinked at him, confused. What did he mean? Of course, I trusted him. "Do you trust me, Harlow?" he repeated, his voice harder, demanding.

I nodded before I realized that he wanted me to speak. "Yea – I mean, yes," I panted, "I trust you."

One side of his mouth lifted in a half smile. "God, I hope so, Sweetheart. Because you're gonna give me blue balls by the end of the night." I gasped as he spread my legs and lowered his head.

Bellamy pressed a soft kiss to the inside of each of my thighs before gently urging them further apart. He licked my skin, sending more shivers trailing down my spine. My vision blurred as I found my hands in his hair. But he shook them loose for a moment because his mouth reached the band of my underwear. I tensed, and he sat up slightly, his fingers trailing the edge. His eyes bored into mine. “Will you let me?” he asked.

I bit my lip, looking down at him. “I…”

“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do,” he whispered, his voice lowering.

My breathing was ragged, and something was there. I felt it. An electric zing between us or...it was something, I knew it. I just didn’t know what it was. I found myself nodding, despite my uncertainty. No matter what, I trusted Bellamy. I trusted him just as much as I trusted Marv, Knix, and Texas. That thought had barely entered my mind only to be shoved out just as Bellamy’s warm hands slid into the sides of my underwear and pulled them down my legs. I held my legs closed as he tossed them to the side, but he gently urged them back around his hips again.

“Don’t worry, we can go slow. I won’t do anything more tonight, just...let me help you,” he whispered, brushing against my lips again.

I closed my eyes and let him kiss me once more. I felt so safe in his arms, protected and cherished. It wasn’t something I was used to feeling and in the last month I had felt it almost every day. I was on overload. I felt like, in this moment, Bellamy could have asked me anything and I would have bared my soul for him. Even if it hurt.

Our mouths connected, and his jean-clad groin rubbed against my naked skin. I shuddered, gripping his shoulders, pulling on him, arching up to grind back. I reached down, sliding my hand over his chest and down his abdomen. He was rock solid, all over. It made me kiss him harder.

I felt the hard strain of his jeans and when my knuckles grazed against it, he jerked and grabbed my hand. "No," he said, panting.

"I want to–" Bellamy cut me off by grabbing my other hand as I reached for him again. He held both of my wrists and then transferred them to one of his hands. His fingers closed around my limbs, making me feel dainty and small.

"No, Sweetheart." His voice was so gruff, I could barely understand him. He cleared his throat. "If you touch me, I'll go off like a teenage boy."

"I'm a teenager," I pointed out.

"Barely," he said. "And you're not a guy. We're not always known for our...stamina."

"Are you saying you can't keep up?" I teased.

Bellamy chuckled, releasing my hands. "I can keep up with you," he said, nipping at my bottom lip. My belly tightened, and down lower, sparks of heat popped. "But I didn't bring any protection tonight. I don't want to risk anything."

"Oh." My gaze drifted downward, and Bellamy hooked a finger under my chin. Nudging me back up, he pressed a quick kiss to my lips.

"That doesn't mean we can't do other things," he said. His warm hands pressed between my legs again, fingers sliding against my naked flesh. I gasped and lifted into his touch. "Will you let me?"

I gasped as he slid a lone finger into me. I tightened around it and his eyes flared as he stared down at me.

"You're so goddamn beautiful, Sweetheart." He kissed me again, taking my mouth fast and hard.

My breasts swelled as he began to pump his finger in and out. Slowly, Bellamy added a second finger and then a third. The third was a tight fit and I involuntarily clenched him even harder. He groaned and moved them in and out of me slower.

One wide palm slid over my stomach and I shivered as goosebumps rose to meet his hand. He moved up and skimmed over my bra. Dark brown eyes shot to mine as he closed his hand around one breast and squeezed through my bra cup. Shivers coursed over my shoulders as Bellamy looked at me. He watched me as his fingers brushed at the edges and he slipped beneath the material. Fingertips closed over one nipple and I jerked. His mouth met mine again, muting my gasp and I closed my eyes, feeling the shocking waves of pleasure. His fingers continued to pump inside me. I shuddered, my hips undulating on their own. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to.

I didn't want to. I wanted more. My hands held onto Bellamy's broad shoulders, nails digging into his skin. The harder I dug, the hotter his eyes flamed. Hovering over me, like he was, I barely felt the breeze coming through the open window. My eyes flicked to it, scared that someone might be able to hear us from the outside when he hit something deep inside of me, and I gasped – window forgotten – choking on a scream as sparks snapped through my body. Releasing a low groan, a wave of shock had the smallest black and white dots dancing behind my eyelids that were shut against the sensations.

Bellamy let go of my mouth with a gasp – mine, I realized. I couldn't seem to stop doing that. Gasping. Groaning. Moving against his hand. His thumb came up, brushing and pushing against the bundle of nerves there and I blinked as fireworks exploded. I didn't care if my nails were drawing blood, I needed to hold onto something or I knew I'd be rocketed up and out into space. He was my gravity, my anchor to earth in that moment.

When I finally came down, I realized that Bellamy had withdrawn his hand and was holding me on his side. He stroked my hair with his lips at my temple and I shivered, my whole body tensing again and again as I slowly descended from my peak of euphoria. He pulled back and looked down at me.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I opened my mouth, but words wouldn't form. All I could do was nod. "Good." His eyes crinkled with his smile and suddenly, it hit me what had just happened. What I had just done. Now I couldn't speak for a different reason. When Bellamy scooted down further in the bed and pulled me close to cuddle against my skin, I let him. Fear and pain encased my heart. What would happen now? I pressed my face against Bellamy's chest, hoping he didn't feel my tears, but sure he could – he didn't have a shirt. He didn't say anything though, and for that, I was grateful.

I would need to tell the guys sooner or later. They deserved to know. A kiss was one thing, but this had been so much more. The problem was I knew they'd kick me out. Maybe not out of Iris, but out of the team and that was the worst of it. The thought of not being able to see them, of not cuddling with Marv at night, not playing pranks with Bellamy and Texas, of not training with Knix...it was like all of my limbs were being severed. Why did it feel this way? I had known them for such a short time, but already it felt like we had lived lifetimes together and I was about to destroy all of that.