CHAPTER NINE
UNABLE TO STOP herself, Jodi stared at the discreet, but flawlessly brilliant solitaire diamond engagement ring she was wearing.
She had protested long and loud against Leo’s decision to buy her a ring, but he had refused to give in. In the end she had been the one to do that, partially out of sheer weariness and partially out of a cowardice she was loath to admit to.
Her aunt and uncle, Nigel’s parents, had invited her and Leo to have dinner with them, and Jodi had known, as indeed Leo had warned her, that, being of an older generation, they would expect to see a newly engaged woman wearing a ring.
And it had been because of that and only because of that that she had allowed Leo to drive her to the city and buy her the diamond she was now wearing on her left hand.
At first she had tried to insist that she should wear something inexpensive and fake, but Leo had been so angered by her suggestion that she had been shocked into giving in.
She hadn’t been allowed to know the price of the ring Leo had finally chosen for her. She had tried to opt for the smallest diamond the jeweller in the exclusive shop had shown her but Leo had simply insisted that she try on several rings before announcing that the one he liked best was the solitaire she was now wearing.
His choice had been another shock to Jodi, because it was in fact the very ring she would have chosen herself—under different circumstances. Now, as she sat next to him in his car, she couldn’t help touching it a little self-consciously as the diamond caught the light and threw out a dazzling sparkle.
She wasn’t exactly looking forward to this evening’s dinner, much as she loved her aunt and uncle. They were a very traditional couple, especially her aunt, who was bound to ask all manner of difficult questions.
‘You didn’t have to do this,’ she told Leo awkwardly as she gave him directions to their home. ‘I could have come up with an excuse. After all, with the takeover...’
It was all over the village now that Jeremy Driscoll was being investigated by the revenue authorities, but even that gossip had not been enough to silence Myra Fanshawe’s repeated references to her concern over Jodi’s behaviour.
* * *
‘You want to speak to Mr Jefferson?’ Leo’s new secretary at the factory asked the woman caller who had asked to speak to Leo. The woman had explained that she hadn’t been able to get through to him on his mobile and that she hadn’t heard from him in several days.
‘Oh, I’m sorry, but he isn’t here at the moment. And I expect he’s switched off his mobile, because he’s gone to meet his fiancée.’
On the other end of the line, Leo’s mother, Luisa Jefferson, almost dropped her receiver.
‘His fiancée,’ she repeated. ‘Oh, well, yes...of course.’
‘Shall I tell him you called?’ Leo’s secretary asked her helpfully.
‘Er—no...that won’t be necessary,’ Luisa informed her.
Replacing the receiver, she went in search of her husband, whom she found seated on a sun lounger beside their pool.
‘I have to go to England to see Leonardo,’ she informed him.
* * *
The evening had gone surprisingly well. Leo had laughed obligingly at her uncle’s jokes and praised her aunt’s cooking with such a genuineness that it was plain that they were both already ready to welcome him with open arms into the family.
Jodi, with the benefit of far more objectivity at her disposal, watched the proceedings with pardonable cynicism.
‘So,’ Jodi heard her aunt asking archly, once they were in her sitting room with their after-dinner coffee. ‘what about the wedding? Have you made any plans as yet?’
‘No—’
‘Yes—’
As they both spoke at once her aunt looked from Leo’s smiling face to Jodi’s set one with an understandably baffled expression.
‘We’ve only just got engaged,’ Jodi defended her denial.
‘I’d marry Jodi tomorrow if she’d agree,’ Leo told her aunt with a wicked, glinting smile in Jodi’s direction that made her want to scream. He was enjoying this. She could tell.
‘Well, of course Jodi will want to wait until her parents return,’ her aunt said lovingly, before asking, ‘And what about your parents, Leo?’
‘I want to take Jodi out to Italy to meet them just as soon as I can,’ Leo responded truthfully, ‘but I already know that they will love her as much as I do.’ And then, before Jodi could guess what he intended to do, he leaned towards her, taking one of her hands and enfolding it tenderly between both of his before bending his head to brush his mouth against hers.
Jodi could feel the quivering, out-of-control wanting begin deep down inside her the moment he touched her; it shocked and frightened her, and it made her feel very angry as well. She felt angry with Leo for making her love him, and angry with herself too, and yet she still couldn’t stop herself from closing her eyes and wishing that all of this was real; that he did love her; that their futures really lay together.
Jodi’s aunt and uncle said goodbye to them at their front door. Leo had placed his arm around Jodi as they walked to the door, and he kept it there whilst they walked to the car, even though it was parked out of direct sight of the house.
‘You can let go of me now,’ Jodi told him as they reached the car. ‘No one can see us.’
‘What if I don’t want to let go of you?’ Leo demanded softly.
There was just enough moonlight for Jodi to be able to see the hot glint of desire that glittered in his eyes as he looked down at her.
Shakily she backed up against the car, her heart hammering against her ribs—but not with fear.
‘Leo!’ she protested, but he was already sliding his hands slowly up over the bare flesh of her arms. His touch made her tremble with desire, her emotions so tightly strung that she was afraid of what she might do. If just the casual caress of his hands could make her feel like this...
But she was so hungry for him. So very, very hungry!
‘We’re engaged,’ Leo breathed against her ear. ‘Remember...we’re allowed to do this, expected to...and, God knows, I want to!’ he told her, his voice suddenly changing and becoming so fiercely charged with sensuality that it made Jodi shiver all over again.
‘But our engagement isn’t real,’ she told him.
‘It may not be, but this most certainly is...’ Leo growled.
And then he was holding her, one large hand on her waist, whilst the other cupped her face, tilting it, holding it. Jodi held her breath as she felt him looking at her, and then he was bending his head, and his mouth was on hers and...
When had she lifted her own hand towards his jaw? When had she parted her mouth for the hot, silent passion of his kiss? When had she closed that final tiny distance between them, her free hand gripping his arm, her fingers digging into its muscle as the ache inside her pounded down her defences?
‘What is it about you that makes me feel like this?’ Leo was demanding thickly, but Jodi knew that the words, raw with longing, helpless in the face of so much desire, might just as well have been her own.
She knew too that if Leo was to take her home with him now there was no way she would be able to resist the temptation he was offering her. Right now she wanted him more than she wanted her pride, her self-respect, or her sanity!
‘Right now,’ she heard Leo telling her thickly, ‘I could...’
An owl hooted overhead, startling them both, and abruptly Leo was moving back from her, leaving her feeling cold and alone as he turned to unlock the car doors.
* * *
Jodi stared mutely at the package she was holding in her hand. She had bought it when she had been in the city with Leo, the day he had taken her there to get her engagement ring. She had seen the chemist’s shop and had managed to slip away to get what she had begun to fear she needed.
That had been well over three weeks ago now and... Reluctantly she turned the package over and read the instructions. It was just a precaution, she told herself firmly, that was all.
It was practically impossible that her suspicions were anything more than simple guilty anxiety. Sometimes odd things happened to bodies, especially when their owners were under the kind of stress she was under right now.
Myra had informed her that her committee had felt that they had no option other than to report their concerns over her behaviour to the education authority, and that was exactly what they had done.
Jodi had already had to undergo an extremely difficult and worrying telephone interview, and now she was waiting to see what they were going to do.
At best, she would simply get a black mark against her for having been reported, and at worst... Jodi didn’t want to think about what the worst-case scenario could be.
Jodi was under no delusions about the seriousness of the situation she was in, but right now...
She looked unhappily at the pregnancy-testing kit she was holding. She didn’t really need to do it, did she? After all, it was only a matter of a few days late—well, a week or so—and she was one hundred per cent sure that that unwelcome feeling of nausea she had been experiencing recently was simply nerves and tension.
And the craving for anchovies?
She was careful about her health and followed a low-fat, low-salt diet. Her body had decided that it needed salt, obviously. Obviously!
Taking a deep breath, Jodi took the kit out of its packet. It was going to show negative, she knew that. She knew it.
* * *
Positive. Jodi stared at the testing kit, unable and unwilling to accept the result it was showing. Her hand shook as she picked it up for the tenth time and stared at it.
It must be wrong. A faulty kit, or she had done something wrong. Panic began to fill her. She couldn’t be pregnant. She couldn’t be!
Leo’s baby! She was going to have Leo’s baby! Why on earth was she smiling? Jodi wondered in disbelief as she saw her reflection in her bathroom mirror.
This was quite definitely not smiling territory...
Downstairs she heard her post coming through the letterbox. The school term had finally come to an end, so she did not have to rush to get to work. She finished dressing and went downstairs, collecting her letters on the way.
There was a card from her parents, and a whole bunch of unsolicited trash mail.
Jodi had to sit down before she could bring herself to look at it. Her parents. No need to ask herself how they would feel about what had happened. There would be gossip, there was bound to be, and she knew that life as an unmarried mother was not the life they had envisaged for her or for their grandchild. If she was honest it was not the life she had ever envisaged for herself either. Jodi’s throat felt tight and dry.
She had asked her aunt and uncle not to say anything about her engagement to her parents if they spoke to them, explaining—quite truthfully—that she wanted to tell them herself, in person.
Then, knowing that they weren’t due home for another two months at least, she had convinced herself that she had plenty of time to get her life back to some kind of normality before their return, but now...!
Her parents would love her and support her no matter what she did, she knew that, and her baby, their grandchild, no matter how unconventional its conception, would be welcomed and loved. But there would be gossip and disapproval, and, with Leo continuing to be a presence locally through the factory, Jodi knew there was no way that she could stay. How could she? How could she inflict such a situation on her family, and as for her baby...how could she allow him or her to grow up suffering the humiliation of knowing that he or she had been rejected by their father?
No, life would be much easier for all those she loved if she simply moved away.
After all, she decided proudly, it wasn’t as though it was her teaching skills that were in question.
And as for the fact that she would be a single mother, well, a hundred or more miles away, just who was going to be concerned or interested in the malicious criticism of Myra Fanshawe?
* * *
‘Mother!’
Stunned, Leo stared into the familiar face of his very unexpected visitor as he answered his front doorbell. He had told his parents that he had moved to a rented property in Frampton and that he would be living there until he had sorted out all the complications with the business. He knew he had not been able to keep his promise to go and visit his parents again, in Italy, but he had certainly not expected to have his mother turn up on his doorstep.
‘Where’s Dad?’ he asked her, frowning as he watched her taxi disappearing down his drive.
‘I have come on my own,’ his mother told him. ‘I cannot stay more than a few days,’ she added, ‘but I am sure if we apply ourselves that will be sufficient time for me to meet your fiancée.’
Leo, who had been in the act of picking up his mother’s case, suddenly straightened up to look at her.
Several responses flashed son-like through his brain, but his mother was his mother, and one very astute woman, as he had had over thirty years to find out and appreciate.
‘I think you’d better come inside,’ he told her steadily as he took hold of her arm.
‘I think I’d better,’ his mother agreed wryly, pausing only to tell him, ‘This house is a very good family house, Leonardo; it is well built and strong. Children will grow very well here, and I like the garden, although it needs much work. Is she a gardener, this fiancée of yours? I hope so, for a woman who nourishes her plants will nourish her husband and her children.’
His mother was the only person in the world who called him Leonardo with that particular emphasis on the second syllable of his name, Leo reflected as he ushered her into the hallway and saw her glance thoughtfully at the vase of flowers Jodi had arranged on the hall table earlier in the week.
Leo had taken her home with him prior to visiting her aunt and uncle so that he could drop off some business papers. His telephone had rung, and the consequent call had taken some time, and when he had finally rejoined her he had discovered that she had collected some wind-blown flowers from the garden and arranged them in a vase.
‘It seems such a shame to just let them die unappreciated and unloved,’ she had told him defensively.
‘So, she is a home-maker, this fiancée of yours,’ his mother pronounced, suddenly very Italian as she subjected Jodi’s handiwork to a critical maternal examination. ‘Does she cook for you?’
‘Mamma!’ Leo sighed, leading her into the kitchen. ‘There is something that you need to know...and it is going to take quite some time for me to tell you.’
‘There is,’ Luisa Jefferson informed her son firmly, ‘only one thing I need to know and it will take you very little time to tell me. Do you love her?’
For a moment she thought that he wasn’t going to reply. He was a man, after all, she reminded herself ruefully, not a boy, but then he grimaced and pushed his hair back off his face in a gesture that reminded her of her own husband before he admitted, ‘Unfortunately, yes, I do.’
‘Unfortunately?’ she queried delicately.
‘There is a problem,’ Leo told her.
His mother’s unexpected arrival was a complication he had not foreseen, but now that she was here he was discovering to his own amusement and with a certain sense of humility that he actually wanted to talk to her about Jodi, to share with her not just his discovery of his love for Jodi but also his confusion and concern.
‘In love there is always a problem,’ his mother responded humorously. ‘If there is not then it is not love. So, tell me what your particular problem is... Her father does not like you? That is how a father is with his daughter. I remember my own father—’
‘Mamma, I haven’t met Jodi’s father yet, and anyway...I have told you that I love Jodi, but what I have not told you yet is that she does not love me.’
‘Not love you? But you are engaged, and I must say, Leonardo, that I did not enjoy learning of your engagement from your secretary; however—’
‘Mamma please,’ Leo interrupted her firmly. ‘Let me explain.’
When he did Leo was careful to edit his story so that his mother would not, as he had initially done, jump to any unfair or judgemental conclusions about Jodi, but he could tell that she was not entirely satisfied with his circumspect rendition of events.
‘You love her and she does not love you, but she has agreed to become engaged to you to protect her reputation, since by accident she fell asleep in your hotel suite and was seen leaving early in the morning?’
Her eyebrows lifted in a manner that conveyed a whole range of emotions, most of which made Leo’s heart sink.
‘I am very interested to meet this fiancée of yours, Leonardo.’
Leo drew in his breath.
‘Well, as to that, I cannot promise that you will,’ he began. ‘I have to go to London on business this afternoon, and I had planned to stay there for several days. You could come with me if you wish and do some shopping,’ he offered coaxingly.
His mother gave him an old-fashioned look.
‘I live in Italy now, Leonardo. We have Milan. I do not need to shop. No, whilst you are in London I shall stay here and wait for you to return,’ she pronounced. ‘Where does she live, this fiancée of yours?’ she asked determinedly.
Leo sighed.
‘She lives here in Frampton. Mamma, I know you mean well,’ he told her gently. ‘But please, I would ask you not to...to...’
‘To interfere?’ she supplied drily for him. ‘I am your mother, Leonardo, and I am Italian...’
‘I understand,’ Leo told her gently. ‘But I hope you will understand that, since I know that Jodi does not love me, it can only cause me a great deal of humiliation and unwanted embarrassment if it was to be brought to her attention that I love her, and quite naturally I do not wish to subject either of us to those emotions, which means...’ He took a deep breath. ‘What I have told you, Mamma, is for your ears only, and I would ask that it remains so, and that you do not seek Jodi out to discuss any of this with her. I do not want her to be upset or embarrassed in any way, by anyone.’
For a moment he thought that she was going to refuse, and then she took a deep breath herself and agreed.
‘I shall not seek her out.’
‘Thank you.’
As he leaned forward to kiss her Leo heard his mother complaining, ‘When I prayed that you would fall in love I did not mean for something like this to happen!’
‘You want grandchildren, I know.’ Leo smiled, struggling to lighten the mood of their conversation.
‘I want grandchildren,’ his mother agreed, ‘but what I want even more is to see you sharing your life with the person you love; I want to see your life being enriched and made complete by the same kind of love your father and I have shared. I want for you what every mother wants for her child,’ she told him fiercely, her eyes darkening with maternal protection and love. ‘I want you to be happy.’
* * *
His mother couldn’t want those things she had described to him any more than he wanted them for himself, Leo acknowledged a couple of hours later as he drove towards Frampton en route for London. He had left his mother busily dead-heading roses, whilst refusing to listen to any suggestion he tried to make that, since he could not say categorically when he would be back, she might as well return home to Italy.
In the village the temptation to turn the car towards Jodi’s cottage was so strong that Leo found he was forced to grip the steering wheel to control it.
His life would never be happy now, he reflected morosely.
Not without Jodi in it. Not without her love, her presence, her warmth; not without her!
* * *
Jodi stared at her computer screen, carefully reading the resignation letter she had been working on for the last three hours. Now it was done, and there was nothing to stop her from printing it off and posting it, but somehow she could not bring herself to do so—not yet.
She got up and paced the floor, and then on a sudden impulse she picked up her keys and headed for the door.
It was a beautiful, warm summer’s day, and the gardens of the cottages that lined her part of the village street overflowed with flowers, creating an idyllic scene.
Normally just the sight of them would have been enough to lift her spirits and make her think how fortunate she was to live where she did and to be the person she was, a person who had a job she loved, a family she loved, a life she loved.
But not a man she loved... The man she loved... And not the job she loved either—soon. But, though the school and her work were important to her, they did not come anywhere near matching the intensity of the love she had for Leo.
Leo. Busy with her thoughts, Jodi had walked automatically towards the school.
There was a bench opposite it, outside the church, and Jodi sat down on it, looking across at the place that meant so much to her and which she had worked so hard for.
She was not so vain that she imagined that there were no other teachers who could teach as ably, if not more so, as she had done herself, but would another teacher love the school the way she had done? Would another woman love Leo the way she did?
Her eyes filled with tears, and as she reached hurriedly into her bag for a tissue she was aware of a woman sitting down on the bench next to her.
‘Are you all right, only I could not help but notice that you are crying?’
The woman’s comment caught Jodi off guard. It was, not, after all, a British national characteristic to comment on a stranger’s grief, no matter how sympathetic towards them and curious about them one might be.
Proudly Jodi lifted her head and turned to look at the woman.
‘I’m fine, thank you,’ she told her, striving to sound both cool and dismissive, but to her horror fresh tears were filling her eyes, spilling down over her cheeks, and her voice had begun to wobble alarmingly. Jodi knew that any moment now she was going to start howling like a child with a skinned knee.
‘No, you aren’t. You are very upset and you are also very angry with me for saying so, but sometimes it can help to talk to a stranger,’ the other woman was telling her gently, before adding, ‘I saw you looking at the school...’
‘Yes,’ Jodi acknowledged. ‘I...I teach there. At least, I did...but now...’ She bit her lip.
‘You have decided to leave,’ her interlocuter guessed. ‘You have perhaps fallen in love and are to move away and you are crying because you know you will miss this very beautiful place.’
Although her English was perfect, Jodi sensed that there was something about her questioner that said that she was not completely English. She must be a visitor, someone who was passing through the area, someone she, Jodi, would never, ever see again.
Suddenly, for some inexplicable reason Jodi discovered that she did want to talk to her, to unburden herself, and to seek if not an explanation for what was happening to her, then at least the understanding of another human being. Something told her that this woman would be understanding. It was written in the warmth of her eyes and the encouragement of her smile.
‘I am in love,’ Jodi admitted, ‘but it is not... He...the man I love...he doesn’t love me.’
‘No? Then he is a fool,’ the other woman pronounced firmly. ‘Any man who does not love a woman who loves him is a fool.’ She gave Jodi another smile and Jodi realised that she was older than she had first imagined from her elegant appearance, probably somewhere in her late fifties.
‘Why does he not love you? Has he told you?’
Jodi found herself starting to smile.
‘Sort of... He has indicated that...’
‘But you are lovers?’ the woman pressed Jodi with a shrewdness and perspicacity that took Jodi’s breath away.
She could feel her colour starting to rise as she admitted, ‘Yes, but...but he didn’t... It was at my instigation... I...’ She stopped and bit her lip again. There were some things she could just not bring herself to put into words, but her companion, it seemed, had no such hang-ups.
‘You seduced him!’
She sounded more amused than shocked, and when Jodi looked at her she could actually see that there was laughter in the other woman’s dark eyes.
‘Well...I...sort of took him by surprise. I’d fallen asleep in his bed, you see, and he didn’t know I was there, and when I woke up and realised that he was and...’ Jodi paused. There was something cathartic about what she was doing, about being able to confide in another person, being able to explain for the first time just what she had felt and why she had felt it.
‘I’d seen him earlier in the hotel foyer,’ she began in a low voice. ‘I didn’t know who he was, not then, but I...’
She stopped.
‘You were attracted to him?’ the other woman offered helpfully.
Gratefully Jodi nodded.
‘Yes,’ she agreed vehemently. ‘He affected me in a way that no other man had ever done. I just sort of looked at him and...’ Her voice became low and strained. ‘I know it sounds foolish, but I believe I fell in love with him there and then at first sight...and I suppose when I woke up and found myself in bed with him my...my body must have remembered how I’d felt then, earlier, and.... But he...well, he thought that I was there because... And then later, when he realised the truth, he told me... He asked me...’ Her voice tailed off. ‘I should never have done what I did, and I felt so ashamed.’
‘For falling in love?’ the older woman asked her, giving a small shrug. ‘Why should you be ashamed of that? It is the most natural thing in the world.’
‘Falling in love might be,’ Jodi agreed, ‘but my behaviour, the way I...’ Jodi shook her head primly and had to swallow hard as she tried to blink away her threatening tears.
Her companion, though, was not deterred by her silence and demanded determinedly, ‘So, you have met a man with whom you have fallen in love. You say he does not love you, but are you so sure?’
‘Positive,’ Jodi insisted equally determinedly.
‘And now you sit here weeping because you cannot bear the thought of your life without him,’ the older woman guessed.
‘Yes, because of that, and...and for other reasons,’ Jodi admitted.
‘Other reasons?’
Jodi drew an unsteady breath.
‘When...after...after he had realised that I was not as he had first imagined, well, when he realised the truth about me he warned me that if...if by some mischance I...there should be...repercussions from our intimacy then he would expect me to...to...’
Jodi bit down on her lip and looked away as fresh tears welled in her eyes.
‘I told myself that it was impossible for me to love a man like that, a man who would callously destroy the life of his child. How could I love him?’
She shook her head in bewilderment, whilst her companion demanded in a disbelieving voice, ‘I cannot believe what you are saying. It is impossible; unthinkable...’
‘I can assure you that it is the truth,’ Jodi insisted shakily. ‘I didn’t want to believe it myself, but he told me. He said categorically that something would have to be arranged. Of course, then I really did believe that it was impossible that I could be—but now...’
As Jodi wrapped her arms protectively around her still slender body her companion questioned sharply, ‘You are pregnant? You are to have...this man’s child?’
Numbly Jodi nodded. ‘Yes. And I am also facing an enquiry because I was seen leaving his hotel suite, and other things. And, as a head teacher, it is of course expected that I should... That was why he said we should get engaged, because of the gossip and to protect me.’
As she spoke Jodi raised her left hand, where Leo’s diamond glistened in the sunlight nearly as brightly as Jodi’s own falling tears. ‘But how can he offer to protect me and yet want to destroy his own child?’
‘What will you do?’ the other woman was asking her quietly.
Jodi drew a deep breath.
‘I plan to move away and start a fresh life somewhere else.’
‘Without telling your lover about his child?’
After everything she, Jodi, had told her, how could she sound so disapproving? Jodi wondered.
‘How can I tell him when he has already told me that he doesn’t want it? “Something will have to be arranged”—that is what he said to me, and I can imagine what kind of arrangement he meant. But I would rather die myself than do anything to hurt my baby.’ Jodi was getting angry now, all her protective maternal instincts coming to the fore.
She had no idea how long she had been sitting on the bench confiding in this stranger, but now she felt so tired and drained that she longed to go home and lie down.
As she got up she gave her unknown companion a tired smile.
‘Thank you for listening to me.’ She turned to go, but as she did so the other woman stood up too, and to Jodi’s shock took hold of her in a warm embrace, hugging her almost tenderly.
‘Have courage,’ she told her. ‘All will be well. I am sure of it.’
As she smiled comfortingly at her, Jodi had the oddest feeling that there was something about the woman that was somehow familiar, but that, of course, was ridiculous. Jodi knew that she had never seen her before.