I can tell something’s off right away. It’s pretty obvious, and I can’t help but wonder if last night caused some of it.

There are sidelong glances in the mess hall and whispers in the corridors. I know something is up, but I can’t tell what it is. When I try to approach Anton about it, he pretends to be too busy, and asks if he can meet about it later.

That’s a bad fucking sign. Up until today, Anton has gone out of his way to try and get close to me, and so far I’ve been pushing him back, but he’s been persistent.

Now, things feel strange. Maybe it’s just me. Riley is also acting strange, but I can’t really blame her for that. I gave her a taste of freedom and then I tore it away. She’s probably pretty angry with me, or at least she’s upset about it.

I can’t let Riley worry me too much right now, though. The strangeness at this compound is the immediate danger.

After I drop off Riley’s lunch, I head out toward the guard gate at the front of the wall. There’s a guy I know, one of the younger men from the surrounding villages. He’s a nice kid named Miguel and we’ve played cards a few times since I came to this place. He’s one of the few guys I’ve really socialized with and one of the few that I hope doesn’t get killed in the coming raid.

Miguel is leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette, his rifle slung over his shoulder. He’s supposed to be on guard duty, but I can tell he’s too busy looking at the magazine in his hands to do any real guarding.

“Miguel,” I say as I approach. He looks up and drops the magazine then quickly bends over and picks it up.

“Logan,” he says. “You surprised me.”

“Sorry about it.” I smile and offer him another cigarette from a pack I carry around. To these guys, cigarettes are currency. He accepts it and puts it into his pocket, still smoking the one in his mouth.

“How are things, my friend?” I ask him.

He glances around and looks nervous. “Fine, fine,” he says. “Busy, you know. On duty.”

“Sure. You look really busy.” I grin at him so he knows I’m joking.

“What you tryin’ to say?” he asks, eyeing me aggressively. “I’m not doin’ my job?”

I blink, a little surprised. I’ve never seen any aggression from Miguel before. He’s one of the friendliest, nicest guys in this whole fucking hellhole, and I’ve never even seen him so much as say a word to one of the girls. This aggression shouldn’t surprise me, considering his job, but it does anyway.

“I’m not saying anything,” I reply, staring him down. “I just came out to give you a cigarette and to say hello.”

He frowns and for a second, I see the normal Miguel, just for a second through all the machismo and the posturing, but then that disappears. “Go now,” he says. “I’m busy. I have to be on duty.”

I watch him as he turns back toward the gate, suddenly standing straighter, eyes out on the road. I think about asking him what’s going on anyway and offering him a bribe, but I decide not to press.

Clearly, something happened. It seems as though I’m on the outs with Anton and his crew, though I can’t be sure exactly why. I’m sure it’s a bunch of different reasons, from not training Riley the way they want all the way down to the disappearance of that guard.

I don’t have much time left. According to my last message to command, they’re nearly ready to get started, they’re just waiting on more numbers from me.

Unfortunately, they’re not going to get those numbers. I can’t wander around risking my cover anymore. Things are too dangerous. I’m going to have to message them with this update and recommend they make a move as soon as possible.

It’s the only thing that makes any sense. I can’t keep fucking around, putting this off, gathering intel. I can’t keep risking Riley. She wants to be free and I want her to be free, along with all of the women at this compound.

More than that, I’m tired of keeping secrets from her. This feeling that’s been growing inside of me is beginning to take shape and form, and I know what it can finally turn into if I let it. I got a taste of what things can be like between us if she were free, and I don’t want to go back.

But the last thing I should do right now is break character. If anything, I need to lean into my cover. It’s going to be a few days before command can get a team together to take this place down, and I need to make sure that I remain an insider during those critical days. If I get caught and removed from this place, Riley will be in danger.

I don’t want to imagine what they’d do to her. Probably something horrible. They’ll see that she’s not entirely broken, or really, not even close to broken, and they’ll destroy her. Beating, rapes, torture, and more. I can’t even imagine what they’ll do to her.

I’ve gotten glimpses. From the other girls. I’ve seen the things they do, and Riley can’t go through that. Nobody should.

Which is why I’m doing this. I’m doing it to destroy these bastards, once and for all. I just have to hold on.

That night, I bring Riley her dinner as usual, but this time it’s different. During breakfast and lunch, she was lying on the cot facing the wall and ignoring me. But this time, she’s standing up in the corner, arms crossed, and watching me intently.

I shut the door behind me and smirk at her. “So, you’re not ignoring me now?” I ask her.

She nods. “I’m not.”

“Good.” I place the tray down on her cot. “You’re more fun when you’re talking.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t want to be fun tonight, Logan.”

“Don’t you?” I smirk at her and sit down, crossing my legs, ankle over knee. “Why not?”

“What do you want from me?” she asks. “Why are you doing all of this?”

I cock my head and keep the smile on my face. “You know why, Riley.”

“No, I don’t.” She lets her arms fall and steps toward me, her face suddenly pleading. “You tell me you don’t want to hurt me. You want to save me. You take me outside, but you bring me back into this ...this prison. I don’t understand what you’re doing.”

I take a deep breath and slowly release it. I want to tell her the truth. Hell, she probably deserves to know, and the raid is going to be so soon.

But I still can’t risk it. I need this to go well if I want to save her and all of these women. Things are too precarious right now, and I’m balancing on the razor’s edge. If I tell her, things will probably be okay. But if they aren’t, the results would be catastrophic.

I won’t risk it. As much as it will make us both feel better, I can’t risk it. I can’t be selfish about this.

“Do you know what they do to the other girls here?” I ask her finally.

She shakes her head, watching.

“Torture. Rape. Worse.” I stare at her as I say each word. “I saw one girl get fucked by six guards yesterday. Or at least I think it was six. I didn’t stay to watch, but they were lined up and ready.”

Her face slowly drops into a look of horror as I speak, and I hate myself for what I’m doing, but I need her to play ball. It’s just too important.

“I saw another girl get branded. Another was cut hundreds of times until she eventually bled out. They tossed her corpse into the ocean. Another died of internal bleeding from getting fucked so many times.” I stand up and step toward her, eyes locked on hers. “You think you have it bad, Riley?”

She shakes her head slowly, eyes wide, terror clear on her face.

“I won’t hurt you,” I say to her. “I promised it from the start and I’m saying it again. I won’t hurt you and I won’t let them hurt you. But you have to do as I say if you want me to keep them from you.” I stand directly in front of her and for a second, I want to reach out, grab her, and kiss her as hard as I can. I want to tell her the truth so she understands why I’ve done everything.

“Bow down to me,” I say instead.

She blinks. “What?”

“Get on your knees and bow to me.”

I can practically see the wheels in her mind spinning. She’s thinking about everything I just said and is weighing it against everything she’s been stewing on all day. I know it but I can’t do anything about it.

In the end, it doesn’t matter if she bows or not. I won’t hurt her, like I said, but I need to at least put on a show in case they’re listening. But to me, it doesn’t matter if she bows, and part of me doesn’t really want her to.

Which is why I smile when she shakes her head, face full of fear.

“No,” she says. “I won’t do it.”

“Bow to me, Riley.”

“No.” She steps back away from me. “What are you going to do? I won’t bow to you.”

I stand there staring at her and slowly a smile spreads across my face. I don’t know why but I feel happy for the first time in a long time.

“I won’t do a thing,” I say softly. “I told you that I’d never hurt you.” I turn and leave her cell without another word.

I can’t help but smile as I head back to my own room. In that moment back there, Riley stood up for herself and I could see a real confidence in her expression. Sure, she was terrified, but she’d be crazy not to be afraid. She still did what she felt was right, and in this instance it meant standing up to me.

I’m proud of her. Maybe that’s a strange thing to feel, but I can’t help it. She’s stronger than she realizes.

Now I just have to hope that Anton didn’t witness that little spectacle, or if he did, that I still have enough time to get this raid started.

Just to be careful, though, I’ll check on her again later tonight. I’ll make it seem like I’m trying to deprive her of sleep, but really I just need to make sure she’s safe.