Chapter 17
to Fane’s waist, laying her cheek against his back, taking in his warmth. She was nervous, but glad she was finally going to get some answers. That whole little scene at the park had freaked her out. She could not make sense of anything those guys had said to Fane, or vice versa.
The only reference she had of the term ‘Alpha’ had to do with dogs or wolves. And who were they to tell Fane he had to leave and what did they mean she already had a mate? The questions swirled around in her brain over and over again, yet she could find no explanation.
“Luna, are you ok?” Fane asked her, sounding worried.
She smiled, not able to help liking the fact that he worried about her. It felt good to be cared for, not that she wasn’t cared for by others, but it felt good coming from him.
“I guess I’m as good as can be expected. Don’t be alarmed if I freak out or have a melt down, it will pass,” she told him with only a small amount of teasing in her voice.
The truth was she was already on the verge of a panic attack. When those guys told Fane he had to leave, the mere idea of him gone actually caused her pain. How messed up is that?
Jacque closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. In and out, in and out. Whatever it is, whatever he tells you, you will not cower in a corner and shake like a frightened puppy, she told herself firmly. No, but I make no promises that I won’t pass out from shock. There is no shame in passing out, it’s simply the brain’s way of saying 'hold the stink up, I need to process this mess'. Jacque smiled at her monologue, wondering if other people talked to themselves like that. Probably not, but everyone’s got something, right?
Fane pulled into her driveway and turned off the engine. It seemed eerily quiet. Jacque climbed off his bike, taking the helmet off, and shook her hair out. She looked up to find Fane watching her.
“What?” she asked him.
To Jacque’s surprise, Fane actually blushed! He turned his head away from her and she saw the small smile that had appeared.
“Sorry, it’s just, um, well, you looked attractive shaking your hair out,” Fane stammered.
Jacque tried really hard not to laugh but was completely unsuccessful. She looked up at him and saw embarrassment in his eyes.
“Fane, you can’t possibly be embarrassed by thinking I’m hot. I practically drool all over you every time I see you. I should be the one embarrassed,” she confessed to him.
“Are you?” Fane asked.
“I guess maybe I should be, but throw me a bone, you are freaking hot. I can’t change that so I’m embracing it.”
Fane chuckled and told her, “You amaze me, Luna. Truly you do.”
It was Jacque’s turn to blush. “Thanks,” was all she could think to say.
Fane took Jacque’s hand as they were walking to the front door. She felt warmth spread up her arm and throughout her body just from holding it. When Jacque opened the door, she saw the man that had been the driver of the limo Fane arrived in just three nights ago, standing in her living room. Jacque froze, not really sure what to do.
Fane stepped around her and went to the man and embraced him just like they had done on the night he arrived. Okay, Jacque thought, I’m fixing to have a two-year-old moment.
“MOM!” Jacque yelled, “WHO IN KING ARTHUR’S NAME IS THIS MAN IN OUR HOUSE, WHAT THE CRAP DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU AREN’T TELLING ME, AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS THAT KEEP US SANE WHAT HELL IS GOING ON!”
In the kitchen Lilly Pierce closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It’s time, she thought to herself. She'd hoped this day would never come, that Jacque would grow up and have a normal life, never affected by her father’s blood. Apparently that had been too much to hope for.
Lilly stepped into the living room. “I guess it’s time for me to tell you the truth about your father,” she told her daughter.
“Why have you waited this long to say something? Were you ever going to tell me?” Jacque asked, the hurt evident in her voice.
Lilly sat down on the couch, hands folded in her lap, eyes focused on the floor. “Actually, no. I wasn’t planning on telling you as long as it never affected you. I figured there was no reason to add confusion to the pain of your father leaving.”
“Did you ever think that it wasn’t your choice to make?!” Jacque was yelling now, she was so upset and yet knew that her anger was disproportionate to the situation.
“Jacquelyn, calm yourself. She was just trying to protect you, not hide things from you,” Jacque heard Fane’s soft, comforting voice tell her. Unfortunately, it just fueled her fire.
Jacque turned on him. “Do not tell me to calm down! Everyone in this room seems to know something about my life that I don’t and frankly that just ticks me off a teeny, tiny bit, so back off!”
Fane held his hands up in surrender and took a seat across from Lilly on the loveseat. Sorin sat in the ugly winged back chair, leaving Jacque the only one standing.
She wasn’t ready to sit down so she started pacing around the room.
“I understand why you're angry and that you're hurt, but I need you to hear me out before judging me,” Lilly told her.
Jacque stopped and tried to wipe away the tears that were running freely down her cheeks. She turned to look at her mom and simply nodded her head. Her mom patted the couch for her to sit on, but Jacque took one look at Fane and knew she needed to sit by him.
“I’m sorry, love, it’s just that I see you hurting and all I want to do is comfort you. It’s MY job to comfort you. Please bear with me a little longer. Sit by me, calm the animal inside please.” Fane’s thought was so emotional that Jacque found herself walking over to the love seat and sitting next to him.
Jacque’s mom looked a little shocked, but as quick as it appeared it was gone.
“Jacque,” her mom began, “there is no easy way to explain this. There is no way that I can say it that sounds sane, so I’m just going to lay it out there, okay?”
“If you knew what my life has been like the past few days you wouldn’t even have to lead off with that. So as Jen and I like to say, slap me with it,” Jacque told her.
Lilly took a deep breath. “Your father is a Canis lupus, a werewolf.”
When Jacque didn’t respond Lilly just continued. “I knew there was something different about him when I met him. The longer we dated, the more sure I was that he wasn't normal. So one night I just asked him, ‘What are you?’ And he told me. At first, naturally, I didn’t believe him, but then he showed me his wolf and he was beautiful. Over time, he told me more and more about his culture and species. I knew one day he would leave because he would find his true mate. He was honest with me about it and I chose to stay with him anyway because I felt that whatever time I could have with him was better than none at all.”
Lilly paused for a moment and looked at Jacque, who was just sitting there staring at the table in front of her. Fane took one of her hands and looked like he was waiting for her to go into hysterics at any moment. Still, she said nothing.
Lilly continued. “Three days before he left I found out I was pregnant with you. I was going to tell him that very night, but when I got home there was a note waiting for me instead of him.” Jacque looked up at her mother when her voice wavered and saw she had tears in her eyes.
She realized then that her mom still loved her father. Even though he's a Canis Lup-whatever, she thought to herself.
“Canis lupus, meu inimă,” Fane told her.
“I wasn't thinking to you, was I? No, I was not. I was thinking to myself. So if you don’t mind, keep your nosy Romanian brain out of mine,” Jacque growled.
Fane just squeezed her hand and this angered Jacque even more because she didn’t want anyone’s comfort or understanding, she just wanted to be pissed off.
Lily pulled herself together and when Jacque still did not say anything she said, “I had no idea what would happen to you as half Canis lupus. I didn’t know if I would come in your room one day and find a wolf puppy in your crib. As time went on and you seemed to be completely normal, I decided to just let it go. When you hit puberty I was worried maybe that would trigger some change in you, but it didn’t and I thought we were home free. And then,” Lilly looked at Fane, there was no condemnation when she said, “you came along, and I knew all my hope was in vain.”
Fane looked Lilly in the eye and told her, “I am sorry to have brought your fears to pass, but I am not sorry to have found Jacquelyn. She is my mate and I will claim her, as is my right. You know she will not be complete without me, nor I without her.”
Lilly nodded. “I know this, Fane. At first I was angry and scared. However, now that I have spent some time with you, albeit not enough, I can tell you are a good man. I say 'man' because you can no longer be a boy, you have to protect my little girl.” Her voice sounded almost desperate now.
Jacque’s head snapped up when she heard her mom’s tone and saw the fear in her eyes.
“Okay,” Jacque started, taking a deep breath, “give me just a moment, ok? Let me process this…out loud.” She turned her head to look at Fane. “You, Casanova, give me some space, you’re freaking me out right now.”
Fane let go of her hand and moved away from her, though only a tiny bit. Jacque rolled her eyes.
“So my father turns all hairy once a month, is that what I hear you telling me?”
Fane and Sorin both let out a snort of laughter but pulled it together when Lilly glared at them.
“No, all the things you think you know about werewolves are false. Canis lupus can phase – they don’t call it changing – whenever they want to. They can phase their whole body into wolf form, or just their eyes, or teeth, or whatever. It has nothing to do with the moon.”
Jacque knew her mom loved interesting things, and she definitely found the whole werewolves-being-real bit interesting. She was past the whole trek down memory lane and moving right along onto the highway of the unbelievable.
“I can’t phase though, right?” Jacque asked apprehensively.
“No,” Lilly, Fane, and Sorin all said at the same time.
“Surround sound, nice,” Jacque said sarcastically.
What can I say? she thought to herself. I get sarcastic when I’m freaked out.
“Well, that’s a crappy deal. Here you have a dad who can turn into this cool wolf thingy and you can’t even get a sexy, bushy tail,” Jen said as she and Sally walked into the living room.
Jacque stood up, the relief very obvious on her face.
“What are you two doing here?” she asked them.
“I asked them to stay and listen in. I knew you would tell them anyway and figured you would need some support from people you didn’t feel like were hiding things from you,” Lilly told her.
“So you guys heard everything?” Jacque asked tentatively.
“Every page-turning word. I wanted to pop some popcorn. I figured there might be some tense moments and you know I eat when I’m tense, but goody two shoes here wouldn’t let me,” Jen said irritably.
Sally patted Jen’s hand in mock sympathy. “We know, sweetie. But see, since it was Jacque finding out it was her dad who gets hairy, not yours, I didn’t really care if you were tense.”
Jen took Sally’s hand off hers and bit into it hard enough to leave teeth marks.
“Hey! What the hell, chick?” Sally exclaimed.
“See, don’t you wish you'd given me the popcorn?” Jen retorted.
Jacque started laughing, she just couldn’t help herself. She was so grateful to have Sally and Jen giving her something normal to grasp onto.
Jacque turned and looked at her mom. “So my father left because he found his true mate, or whatever?”
“Yes, and I want you to know I don’t blame him. I knew that it would eventually happen,” Lilly answered.
“Did he ever know about me?” Jacque asked, not really sure if she wanted to know the answer because if he did, and he had never bothered to come meet her, it was really going to hurt.
“No honey, he didn’t know. After he left I had no way to contact him. If he'd known he would have wanted to be a part of your life. He is a good man, Jacque. Only problem was he wasn’t really a man. Just my luck, huh?” Lilly said with a sad smile.
Jacque thought for a moment and something Fane had said earlier came to mind – he had called her his mate!
She slowly turned to look at him and saw that his head was down, shoulders slumped as if he were deflated. It broke her heart to see him look so broken. Jacque walked over to him and got down on her knees in front of him. He still did not move. Jacque took her finger and placed it under his chin and raised his head so she could see his face. The look she saw brought tears to her eyes. She didn’t talk out loud, she felt like this was private, just between them, and for the next few moments there was no one in Jacque’s world but Fane.
“What’s wrong, Fane?” she asked him.
“You know what you are to me, yes?”
Jacque whispered her answer out loud. “Mate.”
Fane nodded his head. “Yes, meu inimă. You are my mate, the other half of my soul, and the thought of you not wanting me is more than I can bear,” Fane told her honestly.
“No pressure, huh?” Jacque said, trying to lighten the mood.
“I would never ask you to do something you do not want to, Luna, but I will not lie and say that I won’t follow you around like a sick puppy,” Fane said with a smile, though the tears were not quite gone yet.
“I just need time to sort through all this. I’m not saying I don’t want you, I mean, now that I’ve met you the idea of life without you makes it hard to breathe,” Jacque revealed.
Fane took her hands in his and said, “Time is the one thing I can’t give you, love.”