For the rest of that night and as soon as I wake up the next morning, I just keep thinking about that kiss.

His friend Jessie was straightforward about him. She didn’t sugarcoat his past. I know that Nolan has been with a lot of girls, and Jessie didn’t try to pretend that he’s some kind of saint.

But he’s clearly very well liked, even though he disappeared from their social circle for years. I think a lot of them respect him for that. I get the sense that these lords and ladies don’t exactly love the direction their country has been going in, and they don’t want to be complicit in it anymore either, or at least that’s what I got from Jessie.

And she made sure to tell me good stories about him, like the time he saved her life. Apparently Nolan is known as a natural leader and a really good guy, although his recent years have been difficult. He doesn’t get along with his father, and his father was notoriously hard on him for his entire life. I think a lot of the people in that room understood why Nolan left court and didn’t come back for so long.

And then he took me up on that roof. It was beautiful up there, so quiet. The city spread out in front of us like it was ripe for the taking, and I felt so good for the first time in a long time.

The kiss took me by surprise. I don’t know what kind of relationship I actually have with Nolan, which is so confusing considering we’re married and he’s supposed to get me pregnant. But I don’t know if this is just some business deal where we’ll have sex until I get pregnant, and then I go my own way, or if there’s something more between us. I’ve noticed the way he looks at me, which makes me blush, but he’s so arrogant, so cocky, and so handsome. I’ve never had a man like him show any interest in me before. And I’d be lying if I tried to pretend like his past didn’t bother me at all. It just makes me wonder if I can understand or even trust his real intentions.

But that kiss… that was something else, and totally unexpected. He wasn’t trying to fuck me, or to make some crude joke, or whatever. He was just kissing me, like a man kisses you when he really wants you. There was something deep and sensuous behind every moment of that kiss, and I just can’t stop thinking about it. I was dripping wet and would have thrown myself at him at the time, if it weren’t for the last thing Jessie said to me before Nolan came over.

She had just finished her story about him saving her life. “He’s a good guy,” she said. “Misunderstood. But a good guy.”

“I think I see that,” I replied.

“But listen to me, Hazel. Go slow with him. Sometimes, you have to show him what he really wants.” She delivered that with such a serious expression in her face that I couldn’t help but listen.

I didn’t get a chance to ask her to elaborate or explain, since Nolan came over a second later. But that comment was what held me back up on that roof. It’s what made me not follow him back into his room last night. It’s what’s making me hesitate this morning.

I sigh and slowly get up. I can smell something in the other room, and it smells really good. I get dressed, brush my teeth, and head out into the kitchen only to find Nolan standing in front of the stove.

“Good morning,” he says as I walk toward him.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

He cocks his head at me and gives me that handsome smile. “Cooking pancakes. Americans love pancakes, right?”

“Right,” I say, laughing. “Every single American loves pancakes.”

“Like I said.” He grins at me and expertly flips the pancake from the pan and onto a plate, like we’re in some cartoon.

“Why are you so good at that?” I ask him, sitting down.

“Lots of practice. I like to cook, actually.” He places the plate in front of me, along with a cup of coffee and some syrup. I pour a little syrup and take a bite… and it’s incredible.

“Holy crap,” I say. “These are amazing.”

“Nutmeg,” he says, grinning. “That’s the secret.”

“They’re perfect.” I eat quickly, surprised at how hungry I am. He finishes cooking and joins me at the counter, eating a small stack himself.

“So do I have this to look forward to every morning?” I ask him.

“Maybe. Depends.”

“Depends on what?”

“How well you’re performing.” He smirks at me and I sigh.

“Are you trying to bribe me with pancakes for sex?”

“Yes,” he says simply. “Is it working?”

I shake my head, smiling despite myself. “Almost,” I say.

“We can always go perform your wifely duties right now if you’d like.” He winks at me.

I shake my head. “No thanks. I’m full.”

“Oh, what a tease.”

“You’re the one that plied me with carbs first thing in the morning.”

“Fair point.” He leans back and sips his coffee. “What do you normally eat for breakfast?”

I frown. I don’t want to tell him that I have a pastry and coffee, since that’ll make me sound bad. “That’s personal,” I say, trying to play coy, but it only makes him laugh.

“We’re married now, remember?” he asks me.

“Yeah, speaking of that.” I hold my left hand up. “I don’t have a ring, you know.”

He raises an eyebrow. “I’m aware.”

“So I don’t think this is official.”

“We don’t always do rings here in Polovia.”

“Ah,” I say. “So I should respect local customs.”

“Right.” He picks up a piece of his pancake and carefully tears it into a tiny little circle. “But you can have this ring, if you’d like.”

I frown at it. “Might be a bit sticky.”

“You’d adapt, I’m sure.”

I laugh and shake my head. “No thanks. I’d rather have no ring at all.”

“Suit yourself, princess.” He stands up and stretches. “We have an appointment soon.”

“An appointment?” I ask.

“You’re going to meet my mother.” He grins at me as he heads over to the door that leads into his apartment. “I’ll be back in a half hour.”

“A half hour?” I ask. “That’s not enough time.”

“Get ready fast.” He grins again and waves as he disappears through the door.

“Shit,” I say to myself, but I don’t have time to be annoyed.

I rush into panic mode. I hop into the shower and clean up as fast as I can. I don’t have time to wash my hair, so I skip that. I can’t look like a slob for this little meeting.

I’ve seen the queen from afar a few times. Once, I almost stumbled into her in the hallway. She was very polite about it, and even apologized for getting in my way, which was nice of her since I was the clumsy one not paying any attention. Britta gave me so much shit for that. Otherwise, the queen is just a distant character who roams the halls as far as I’m concerned.

People here love her. I don’t know much about Queen Magritte, but everything I’ve heard and read is very positive. She has an active role in the government, and apparently she’s very well respected internationally. I keep seeing pictures of her with foreign ministers and heads of state, shaking hands and smiling. Sometimes, it makes me wonder what the king is doing, if his queen is the one going on all the diplomatic missions.

I get dressed in what I feel like is an appropriate “meet the queen” outfit. It’s a little conservative, but not overly formal, since she is my mother-in-law now as well as the queen. I don’t want to look like I’m trying to suck up but I don’t want her to think that I’m not excited to be a part of her family.

As I finish dressing with just a few minutes to spare, I wonder if I really am a part of this family. I mean, I am the Wife Consort, whatever that means. But I don’t know if I’m actually a royal now or what. His mother might see me as some American girl who’s taking her son away, and she might even hate me. I have no clue what I’m walking into, and frankly, it’s freaking me the hell out.

But just as my panic attack really sets in, Nolan comes in through the door. He’s dressed in his usual clothing, a simple white button-down and perfectly fitting slacks. He frowns when he sees me, practically hyperventilating.

He comes to my side quickly. “Hazel, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I say, waving him away. “Just give me a second.”

He watches, concerned, as my panic attack slowly recedes. I take a deep breath and face him. “Sorry,” I say. “Sometimes, when I’m really nervous, I get panic attacks.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You’re nervous to meet my mother?”

“She’s the queen,” I say, as if that should be obvious.

He smiles a little. “She’ll love you. Don’t worry.” He steps closer to me and takes my hand. “I promise, don’t be nervous. She approved of this, after all.”

I nod a little bit, feeling slightly better. “Let’s go,” I say, wanting to get it over with.

He grins and leads the way.

* * *

The queen has a really, really kind smile. I wasn’t expecting to feel comfortable right away, but Queen Magritte wastes no time.

“Please, call me Maggie,” she says.

“It’s really nice to finally meet you.” I don’t know if I should bow or curtsy or what, but Maggie steps up and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

“Likewise, dear. Anybody willing to marry my son is a saint in my book.”

I laugh and Nolan makes a face. “No need for that, mother.”

She smiles at him. “Oh, calm down, dear. We all know you’re difficult.”

“He’s not so bad,” I say. “You just have to get used to him.”

She laughs and motions for us to sit. I take a seat next to her on a couch while Nolan sits on an adjacent chair. He gets to work pouring tea for everyone.

We’re sitting in the queen’s private office, which is about the size of my apartment’s living room. It’s huge and richly decorated. Pictures from the queen’s trips around the world line the walls, and I bet each picture comes with a hundred incredible stories.

“Tell me, dear,” she says to me. “Are your intentions with my son honorable?”

I hesitate. “Uh, I don’t know,” I admit.

“Mother,” Nolan says. “Be nice. She’s nervous.”

Maggie raises her eyebrows. “You’re nervous?”

“I’ve never met royalty before.”

“You’ve met me,” Nolan grumbles, and his mother smacks his knee.

“It’s okay, dear, you don’t have to worry. You’re one of us now.”

“Thank you,” I say to her. “I wasn’t sure… I mean, I barely know anything about all this.” I gesture around, feeling like an idiot.

“You come from a different world,” she says. “You don’t speak our language yet, correct?”

“Correct,” I admit. “My German is pretty good, though.”

“That can only get you so far here.” She takes out her phone and starts to tap at it. “I’m messaging my steward, he’ll get you a Polovian tutor. Is that okay, dear?”

“Yes, please,” I say. “Thank you so much.”

“Not at all. It’ll help you a lot in the coming days.” She puts her phone away and smiles at me. “How is being married to my son so far?”

“It’s perfect,” Nolan says. He hands his mother a cup of tea and then pours me one. I accept it and sip it gratefully.

“Things are going well,” I say. “I met some of his friends from when he was a kid.”

She laughs softly. “You met those degenerates?”

“They’re nobles,” Nolan points out. “Hardly degenerates.”

“They’re friends with you,” she teases. “Although I am fond of that Jessie woman. Very bright. She’s going places.”

“I like her too,” I say quickly. “She was very kind to me.”

“That speaks well of her. It’s not easy to befriend someone new, especially when you are from two different places.” Maggie looks like she’s musing slightly, and Nolan gives me a look.

“She does this sometimes, just ignore her.”

“I do get philosophical at times, but what’s the point if you’re not always thinking?” She gives her son another smack on the knee. “This one could use some more thinking, if you ask me.”

“I completely agree,” I say, trying to win points with the mother.

He rolls his eyes at me. “Suck up.”

I shrug and don’t bother to deny it.

Maggie laughs and puts her tea down. “I can see you’re handling him well already. I’m very pleased. If I can be frank, I was glad he wanted to marry, but I wasn’t so sure about you.”

I nod slowly. “I can understand. You don’t know me. And I’m foreign.”

“More that you’re foreign, no offense, dear. Polovia is a very closed place.”

“Something I want to change,” Nolan cuts in.

His mother looks at him appraisingly. “Yes, well. Maybe you’ll get your chance.”

“What has father said about this?” Nolan asks her.

Maggie glances at me. “Is this the best time to discuss that?”

“You can be honest,” I say. “I won’t be offended.”

She hesitates but sighs. “Your father is glad you’re marrying, but he still isn’t convinced.”

Nolan purses his lips. “I’m not surprised.”

“It was never going to be easy,” his mother says. “But you know I’m pushing for you.”

That’s a surprise to me, although maybe it shouldn’t be. I should have guessed that Nolan’s own mother would be on his side, though I assumed that if his relationship with his father wasn’t good, then it probably wasn’t great with his mother, either. Clearly I was wrong about that. Just from seeing them together for a bit, I can tell that they’re close.

Which makes me wonder how much sway the queen has over the king. If he picked the cousin as his heir, despite the queen’s obvious desire to have her son take the crown, it suggests that she isn’t as in control of the king as I thought at first. Still, she’s a powerful ally, and it’s good to know that Nolan has supporters.

We fall back into small talk, mostly chatting about how I find life in the castle. She does ask me about my work before we married, and I admit that I was a maid. She knows, of course, and asks me about my working conditions.

I’m a little surprised, but they both listen attentively. I’ve never met rich people that really care about the people that work for them, but I get the sense that Maggie and Nolan both care deeply. Although Nolan is new to the castle, I can tell that he wants to treat everyone with kindness and respect.

We talk for maybe a half hour before the queen finally nods. “Well, this was good,” she says. “I need to get back to work, though.”

“Thanks for seeing us, mother,” Nolan says.

“Any time.” She turns to me. “Seriously dear, any time you want to see me, just come.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

She nods and kisses my cheek again. “Be good to him,” she says softly.

We all stand and say goodbye. Nolan leads me from the room and as soon as we’re alone in the hall, he gives me an enormous grin.

“Good job in there,” he says.

“Yeah? You think she liked me?”

“She loved you,” he says. “I can tell, believe me.”

“How do you know?”

“You’re not the first woman who’s met my mother. But you’re the first one that she willingly said she would see again.”

I feel a little proud of that, though it’s only slightly marred by the fact that I’m not the first girl he’s brought home. I don’t know why I would ever think that, of course. He’s older than me, which means he’s had more girlfriends than I know about, I’m sure.

Either way, I got through the first parental meeting. I know that was supposed to be difficult, even with a family that isn’t royal, but it really wasn’t that bad. His mother was kind and welcoming, and I feel so much better after having met her.

I don’t know what the future holds. But at least I know his mother doesn’t hate me. And that means a lot right now, when I’m trying to figure out if I really belong in this foreign place.