What James said about being there for me and the baby touched me in a very deep, dark place. There hadn’t been much light in that place since Alexander died. James’s words were a candle in a dark tunnel that stretched on towards my future. It was more than I had had, more than enough, and nothing to take for granted.

There were so many things for us to discuss, and I intended to trap James in his room and force him to communicate with me until we had as many answers as possible.

First, though, there was something else which needed doing.

I waited until James had pulled in through the palace gates before I brought it up. “We need to tell Haley.”

James made a soft sound, disappointingly noncommittal. He parked, leaving the engine to idle. “You said she already had something of an idea about what was going on.”

“Yes,” I said. “But I told her about that a long time ago. More than two months ago, at this point. You know? Kids are so busy, I don’t know if she remembers.”

James tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “I’m pretty sure she understands more than you give her credit for. You don’t think she’s taking this all for granted, do you?”

Even though I’d kept the house, the frequency with which Haley and I stayed with James was almost like living together. That actually made it easier to keep up with payments on the house, since we often ate dinner at the palace, and we weren’t using the lights or the amenities at home as frequently.

I’d often wondered what Haley thought of this new arrangement. I hadn’t really explained much, beyond telling her what we were doing this day or the next. What explanations had her child’s mind come up with?

At the very least, she seemed happy. Her grades in school had gone up, and she often acted much like her old self.

I’m not sure how much I can explain to her when I don’t have any idea of the future, myself.

“Maybe you and I should have a talk first,” I ventured.

James shook his head. “Word is going to get around quickly, now. We should tell her before she has a chance to overhear it.”

“Who would tell her? No one knows but us!”

“And Dr. Hung,” James pointed out. “And the lab technicians who ran your test. And, presumably, the nurse at the front desk. And anyone they choose to tell.”

“What about doctor-patient confidentiality?”

“What about it?” James countered. “Their business is suffering. If they’re desperate enough, they’ll gladly sell the information to the press.”

I hated having to agree that he was right. Times were difficult. I’d pretty much sold my body out of a need for money. Others would do the same.

I sighed. “Okay. But we do need to have a talk soon. You know that, right?”

“I know.” James set his hand on top of mine, his fingers curling between mine. “You’re worried about not being able to answer all the questions she has. Right?”

I nodded. His hand felt good and right on mine, helping to calm me. “I want to give her stability. She deserves it so much.”

“Doesn’t every kid?” James agreed. “But I don’t think you need to shelter her from this. It’s probably best for her to learn that not even adults know everything. If you tell her you’ll keep her in the loop, I bet she’ll understand.”

I hadn’t really thought about telling her I didn’t know what was going on. I’d been thinking of doing something along the lines of telling her not to worry about it, because I had it under control. Now that James had pointed out a different option, I could tell my original idea wasn’t a very good one.

She needed to learn to trust me, but I had to give her a reason to do that. Otherwise, I would be demanding blind obedience of her, and that wasn’t something I wanted.

“The look on your face tells me I had a good idea.” James patted my hand. He grabbed the key in the ignition and turned the car off. The sudden silence seemed somehow louder than the purr of the engine. “Let’s get to it, okay? You won’t be able to get past this until you’re past it.”

“Sound advice.” I grabbed the handle of the door and pushed it open, stepping out into the sunlight.

James stood up. The sun glistened on his glossy hair, highlighted the true colors hidden in the depths of his dark eyes. He was so handsome he took my breath away, quite literally.

My heart fluttered in my chest. If I hadn’t been so nervous, I would have grabbed him and pushed him back into the car for a quickie. Never mind that there were people all around us who would see. Let them watch, and see how two men loved each other.

Loved?

The choice of my own words left me petrified. It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other as I followed James into the palace. My hand felt clammy in his. I knew he would think it was only nervousness about talking to Haley, so I didn’t fret over it too much.

Right. Haley. I had to focus on her.

“Welcome back, sir,” Dickon said as he approached us. He shot a glare in my direction and didn’t greet me, which was behavior I had come to expect from him. The way he looked at James, watching him with such softness, made it clear to me that he had quite the crush. In fact, everyone except James seemed to realize how intense those feelings were.

Even though it made me feel uncomfortable, I couldn’t blame the guy. James defied preference, social status, and internal morals. One look at him created an addiction, causing a desperate need to see him again and again.

“Been holding down the fort, Dickon?”

“Actually, I’ve been hiding from those children. They won’t leave me alone. I suggested a game of hide and seek.”

Movement down at the other end of the hallway caught my attention. I turned just in time to see a literal stampede of kids round the corner and charge toward us. “Uh-oh,” I said. “It looks like you’ve been found.”

Dickon swore and took off running. James laughed and stepped back so he wouldn’t be knocked over.

Haley was at the edge of the horde. She glanced idly at James and me, checking us out as if we were random strangers she’d come across. Recognition ignited in her deep blue eyes and she skidded to a stop in front of me. “Daddy!” she said, throwing her arms out in a dramatic gesture.

I smiled at her, although I hurt on the inside, because I hadn’t known she’d started doing that. I really hadn’t been paying enough attention to her. Well, that was all about to change. The focus would turn from James and myself, to all of us and our changing dynamic.

“Haley!” I responded, spreading my arms out to imitate her. She giggled and scampered to me, hugging me. I hugged her tightly, as tightly as I could, until she grunted and wriggled to free herself. “Having fun?”

“”Yes! But, I don’t think Dicky is.”

“Dicky,” James repeated slowly. “Yes, that’s all I’m going to refer to him as from now on. He’ll love it.”

Haley giggled again, bringing both of her hands to her mouth as if she was trying to hold the laughter in.

“Haley, I need to talk to you about something.” I jumped right to the point as soon as I had a chance to. My heart was beating faster, getting the best of me again. “Just for a little bit, and then you can get back to playing with your friends.”

“That’s right,” James said. “We need to talk to you.”

We.

He was serious about being here for me, if he was going to include himself even in this part. I hadn’t thought about that either, but it made sense that he should be there.

I really am not used to including other adults in things, am I? I guess there’s no time like the present to practice that.

Haley looked back and forth between the two of us, clearly trying to figure us out. She shrugged and took my hand. “Okay.”

I tried not to clutch her hand so she wouldn’t be able to tell how nervous I was. “James?”

My voice shook.

James looked amused. He cleared his throat, trying to acquire a more neutral expression. “Let’s see if we can find an empty living room,” he said.

We found a spare parlor, small and not often in use from the looks of it. The original rococo styling of the palace was very much on display, with the furniture and the table having those intricate designs. An ornate gold chandelier took up nearly the entire ceiling, highlighting the golden patterns on the mellow, forest green curtains.

I opened up the curtains, allowing natural light to fill the room. Hazy, lazy dust motes spiraled in the sunbeam shafts, making them look like little fairies.

“It’s so magical in here,” Haley breathed. She stood in the middle of the parlor, her little feet swallowed up by the plushness of the carpet. “Like a fairytale dining room.”

James chuckled. “It’s mostly used for small, private parties by the older people. A lot of people think it’s too old fashioned.”

“I can’t wait until I’m old so I can be allowed to like old things!”

I sat down on one of the couches, which wasn’t as comfortable as it was beautiful. I clasped my hands on my knees, trying to keep my legs from shaking. Grabbing a chair, James plopped it down in front of the couch and motioned for Haley to take a seat. She hopped up, and he took his place at my side.

He held my hand. I kept myself from pulling away, even as Haley stared openly at our hands. I would not hide this from her any longer.

“So, Reid, what is it we’re going to tell Haley about?”

Yes, even though we were both here, it was still my responsibility to tell her. I took a deep breath, waiting for my heartbeat to calm. I had no success, and I gave up and went for it. “Haley, do you remember I told you about how I was trying to have another baby?”

She nodded right away. She also had her hands on her knees, her posture dripping with curiosity. “Because James can only be a king if he has a baby. And he’s having a baby with you.”

“Right. Well … I’m pregnant. I am going to have another baby. It’s going to happen.”

“Of course. I know that.”

James flexed his fingers against mine, a clear reminder to me to keep myself under control. I was lucky he did that, otherwise I might have let some of my anger emerge in the form of harsh words. Did people think it was okay to pass around news they had no right to share? It was like being back in school all over again.

The fucking paparazzi.

Haley looked completely unbothered, though. She didn’t seem like a little girl who’d been given news she wasn’t ready to here. She was confusing me. “How do you know that?” I asked. “Did someone tell you?”

Haley shook her head, deepening my confusion. “Daddy, it’s really obvious. That’s why we spend lots of time with James, so he can put a baby in you. Everyone knows that.”

“Well … yes…”

James made a soft strangled sound. I looked at him sharply, alarmed, and then annoyed. His lips were pressed so tight together it was like his mustache and beard had grown together, becoming one. He was trying to hold in laughter, probably because he knew it would disrupt things.

I was glad he found this whole damn mystery to be funny.

“So,” Haley continued, “you don’t seem mad. That means the thing to talk about is the baby. That means it worked, and James is going to be a daddy.”

Pride filled me at having such a perceptive daughter. At the same time, I thought this didn’t bode well for the future, when she was older and smarter than me. “Are we having a talk with you, or are you having a talk with us?”

She shrugged. “No offense, Daddy, but you adults are kind of dumb sometimes. I’m not stupid.”

“No, you definitely aren’t stupid,” James said. “You’re very smart. But you should be nice to your father. He was scared to tell you about this.”

“Why?” she asked, a child’s favorite word.

“Well, he didn’t know what you would think about it. So, why don’t you tell him?”

Haley frowned, tilting her head to think. “I think it would be nice to have a little brother. Or a sister. But I still get to be the princess.”

“You’ll always be Princess Number One,” I whispered. “If you have a sister, she’ll have to be Number Two.”

Haley smiled and laughed. “Okay!”

All of this had really gone so much better than I expected. Relief nearly made me collapse, except I knew we weren’t quite done yet. “Do you have any questions?”

She did, because nothing could be that easy. “Does this mean James is going to be my daddy, too?”

Is James going to be my daddy?

How the hell was a person supposed to answer that?

After an awkward pause, I stammered out some excuse and left the parlor. Neither James nor Haley came after me to find me, which I suspected was James’s work.

He would cover for me, filling in the gaps of whatever explanation I’d chosen. I escaped into my room and lay there for hours, staring up at the ceiling, mulling the situation over and over in my mind.

I finally emerged from my hiding place to have dinner, an extravagant meal composed of a huge ham, meatballs, rolls, buttery corn, deviled eggs, and stuffed tomatoes. Everything looked and smelled delicious, and I allowed a servant to fill my plate.

I didn’t have much of an appetite, though.

I shredded my ham into smaller and smaller pieces, rearranging them around into different positions to give the illusion of eating. I picked tiny bits of crust from my roll. I ate a few olives, a single shrimp from the cocktail display. Everything tasted like paste and was difficult to swallow.

The conversation at the long dining table was lively and enthusiastic, swirling meaninglessly around me. I stared at my plate, keeping to myself, and no one tried to talk to me, not even James. James kept glancing over at me, but he didn’t say anything.

I was glad to be left alone to my thoughts. I had not taken this eventuality into account, and it had thrown me for a loop. James and Haley had gotten along well enough from the very beginning, but I hadn’t thought she would care about that.

Alexander was her father. Alexander occupied that place in her mind.

Now, James might be about to take his spot.

The worst thing was that I hadn’t even bothered to ask her whether she thought that was a good thing or a bad thing. I’d just run away from the problem.

I didn’t know the answer for myself. I definitely couldn’t have it for her. And she was going to ask again, as kids did. And I still wouldn’t know.

It’s going to be awful if she doesn’t accept James, I thought. My hand shook as I reached for my drink, causing a splash of water to surge over the brim and wet the tablecloth. A servant dove in with an extra napkin. I couldn’t find the words in me to thank them.

If Haley did accept James, that might be even worse. It meant letting go of a piece of the past, and I didn’t know if I could do it, not even for the new baby. I couldn’t move on and live a new life as if Alexander never existed.

Dinner passed in a blur and dessert arrived. I excused myself from that and spent some time in the garden, until the sun went down and I felt safe with calling it a night. Working to my advantage was the fact that Haley had school tomorrow, so I could put her to bed without worrying about her missing out on any time with her friends.

After tucking her in, I kissed her forehead and made my escape to my own room nearby. I flipped on the light and James was there, sitting on my bed with his arms folded. He lifted his head, his eyes flashing.

“You didn’t think you were going to avoid me so easily, did you?”

“Don’t be all alpha male on me,” I said. I went over to sit on the bed beside him, accepting that he had the benefit of knowing his way around the castle. If I tried to run and hide from him, he would surely find me.

“I can’t really promise anything,” James said. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I leaned against him, breathing in the scent of his cologne. Even though he was part of what I was so worried about, I couldn’t stop myself from coming to him. It was frightening to feel so out of control of myself.

James continued, “I’ll do whatever I have to when it comes to protecting you and making sure you’re okay.”

“Including breaking into my room?”

“In my wing of the palace,” he countered.

I smiled for him, though it wavered and fell from my lips soon after. “I guess you have a point there.”

“I know I do.” James tilted his head, looking into my eyes. “So. It seems like you and I really need to have that conversation, don’t we?”

“Yes.” It was time to bring up the elephant in the room. “James, where exactly is this taking us? I mean, it doesn’t feel to me like things are going the way we planned, you know?”

“I know what you mean,” James admitted. I sagged against him, relieved that he understood. That was going to make things so much easier to discuss.

“At first, I was only in this for the kid and the throne. I thought if I formed a relationship with you again, I could get my reign kicked off in a proper way. I would be with you for the kid, and then we could break things off in the future, after all the fanfare died down.

“That way, things would seem to be natural, if unfortunate. We could both go our separate ways.”

“That’s what I thought, too,” I admitted.

“That isn’t what I think now.” James looked up at the ceiling, leaning back a little with one hand resting on the mattress. “This doesn’t feel like a fake relationship. It feels like there’s something very real going on here, and it’s felt like that for some time, for me. That’s my baby inside you.”

“We knew that was going to happen, though.”

“I know, but I didn’t have any idea what it would mean. It’s hard to explain. I like having Haley around. And my feelings for you are incredibly strong. Even stronger than they were before.”

Before, when everything fell apart.

“Things would have been so much simpler for both of us if you had just accepted my proposal in the first place,” I whispered.

Giving voice to that terrible memory caused pain to wrap sharp claws around my heart. Those gouged wounds felt as if they had been inflicted only days ago, instead of years in the past.

After the college party when James had kissed that other man, I had known it was time to decide. Either James wanted to be with me, or he didn’t. To that end, I had gone out and bought a ring.

It was nothing much, just a silver-plated band that cost about as much as a fast-food lunch. I wanted it to stand as a promise between us that we would be loyal to each other until the day we died, and we would get better rings eventually.

James had taken one look at the ring and rejected it. He had rejected me, and then we were done with each other. The speed with which things ended had always shocked and upset me, and I felt the haunting echoes of that pain so starkly still.

James didn’t say anything. My blood pounded in my ears, racing through my veins at a feverish pace. This wasn’t good, goddammit.

I could feel my world crashing down around me as the seconds went by. Tick-tock, said the clock. Everything ended eventually. Had we reached another end, James and I?

“I’m sorry,” James whispered. He turned to me, taking both of my hands in his. He held me together, preventing me from falling apart.

“I was so overwhelmed with everything, so lost in who I thought I should be. I kept trying to have this carefree front, and it meant I let you down. Of all the people in the world that I disappointed, it was you who I let down in the worst way.”

“James…” I choked up, unable to find any words to say. It was almost like I’d forgotten how to speak.

“I know you’ll always love Alexander. I would never, ever try to replace him. In fact, I’m glad you had someone so kind and gentle to take care of you. I want to do right by you in my own way. If you’ll let me?”

As with everything else today, James had the answer. I burrowed into his chest, letting him hold me, holding him back.

I knew now that everything would be okay. James and I, and Haley, would be able to work everything out. We could find our own rhythm together.

Having James did not mean I would ever forget Alexander. Having James did not mean Haley had to give up her precious memories of the father she had loved for most of her short life.

For the first time since I'd started sleeping over at the palace with James, we curled up in my bed, not his.

And we didn’t have sex.

Instead, we snuggled up in each other’s arms and just stroked and caressed each other until we fell asleep.