AHRI
“What? Are you trying to get shitfaced tonight?” Gomez handed me another Blue Moon as I took a puff of my cigarette.
“No, tipsy-drunk.”
“Why?”
“Life. The bad parts,” I mumbled.
I took a long sip of my beer knowing very well that on my Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and Dove ice cream bar diet was not going to help absorb much of the alcohol. Hell, if I cared. I’d only gotten tipsy-drunk once this year. I can afford a second time.
“Wanna talk about it?” Gomez asked, sitting down across from me.
“Wanna play my music on the speakers?” I asked, sliding my iPod across the table.
Gomez smacked his lips and looked around the bar with only three people, two of which were already asleep. It was always slow on Sunday nights going into Monday mornings. I am certain I was going to get my way especially when Gomez wanted answers.
Gomez shook his head in defeat with a smug smile plastered across his face. Not before long my music, “Infinity” by Jaymes Young, which had been on perma loop, was flowing through the speakers. It was a nice break having my music played on the speakers instead of blasting in my ears. I needed this.
“You happy?” Gomez asked.
“Rarely, but I’ll take it.” I shrugged, looking at my iTunes library on Gomez’s old chunky laptop.
“Mierda, I forget how honest and depressing you get when you’re drunk.”
“I’m letting my true colors shine, Juan Jr.” I arched an eyebrow hidden under my bangs. He always hated when I called him by his first name. It sounded too informal, but he wasn’t my boss right now. I was off-duty.
I finished my cigarette but didn't start another. I’d already had five cigarettes today which was two over my weekly limit. I knew they were going to kill me, but I didn’t stop. To be honest, I didn’t like smoking or drinking. It just happened to be the easiest stress reliever on my tight schedule. I would’ve loved to run again as I had in high school, but that involved time I didn’t have.
“Let those colors shine a little less, Twinkie.” Gomez grunted and took a seat. “So, what’s up?”
“Mmmm—let’s see I almost failed my first online quiz, got another C on my weekly two-page paper assignment, and I’m barely passing my class.”
I focused on only the school part. Although, there was a bigger part of why I needed my drink. My past caught up with me again, but like usual I repressed the memories and pain. What he did to me would never compare to what he had done to Aurora. So, I sucked it up and dealt with it.
I sighed and took another sip of beer.
I also missed Jack.
A lot.
I got a few texts from him here and there the past few days. I figured we wouldn't see each other with my schedule and since he was away with friends. But I missed the sex. The relaxing, stress relief sex that left me untighten for an hour or two, or while I slept. I missed that, not him.
Liar.
I’d eaten Jack’s leftovers, drank some of his pineapple juice, and slept in his insanely comfortable bed as I watched a little TV. Whenever I had time to sleep, I slept in Jack’s bed. He had no door, and so, I let myself in.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little lonely. I only met the guy about a week ago, but Jack was a character. His attitude, personality, cocky smile, his body. Everything about him left a mark on me. He’d imprinted himself on my mind, and I hated myself for thinking about him whenever I had any empty headspace.
I missed him more than I should have.
I missed him like I missed Luke and Aurora. Like I had known him my whole life, and I hated that. He didn’t deserve it, but, like a thief, he stole my feelings from right underneath me.
I finished my beer in one last chug and let out a massive grunt. Crossing my arms, I looked at Gomez who was examining my behavior. My body started to register how much alcohol I had in my system, leaving it warm and tingling.
I liked having Jack around me. There was something about him that made me feel safe and protected. Even when I was sleeping, I wanted him near me so that I could sleep like a baby without a care in the world. Something I didn't have when I was younger. Something I desperately needed a few years ago.
Jack had invaded my mind, heart, and stomach. I got that special feeling only Jack could give me, and I’d dubbed it. The black butterflies. He made me feel like a school girl talking to her crush, butterflies fluttering around and knocking into each other like they were drunk. But at the same time, they were violent, causing twisters and chaos. They were wild, uncooperative, and troublesome which made sense. You couldn't have trouble without Jack. There was something off about him, but the good kind. Like when you knew something was wrong, but it feels so fucking right.
“Seems like the same problem you had last semester, but you ended up with a B- in the class.” Gomez reassured me while picking up my empty beer bottle.
It was my third beer of the night, and I was tipsy-drunk, which was my cute way of saying I’m drunk. My eyes fell to my messy booth, all my things twirling together.
My business management textbook, notebook, and chewed up pen stacked on top of each other. I should have worked on my homework, but like usual, I put it off until the very last minute. Future Ahri can deal with it. Plus, future Ahri hated school more than present Ahri, which meant she worked well under pressure.
Gomez’s chunky laptop was in front of me at an illegal music website. He didn’t use it anymore, so he’d let me commit my petty crimes which everyone and their mother had committed. Like my iPod, Gomez’s laptop was for my pleasure and sanity; I rarely did homework on it unless I fucked up my time management and had to use the brick to write my papers.
“I’ll figure it out. I always figure it out,” I said, my words turning into one long sentence. “Okay, now leave me alone and let me find new music.” I waved my hand, sending Gomez away.
He shrugged. “Okay, chica. I’ll get you some water.” Gomez grunted as he stood up and headed over to the bar.
I scavenged through my phone and without even thinking, I texted Gomez what I was thinking, as tipsy Ahri always did. I looked at Gomez, waiting for him to read my text, but he was too busy waking up one of the local drunks.
I went over to Jack’s number and smiled. Even his number was sexy with a sixty-nine inside of it. I bit my lip and started to write my little text until I heard Gomez yell out my name.
My full name.
“Ahrianna Naomi Lore!”
Gomez came toward me like he a jet. He ripped the phone of out my hand, but I fought for it, clicking random buttons while I tried to take it back.
“Give it back to me!” I kneeled on the booth to get a little more height.
Gomez said something in Spanish I couldn’t understand until he spoke Spanglish.
“Diablos no! Your texting people what you think of them and soon or later you're going to get to Teddy and call him a puta for having too many baby mama’s. Dame el telefono.” He growled, taking it out of my hands, holding it up high as if he had just /stolen my lunch money. “Wasting your damn minutes texting people what’s on your maldita mente!” Gomez growled as he smoothed out his mustache.
I dropped in my seat, let out a frustrated puff and crossed my arms. Gomez came back with my water, slammed it on the table and got my notebook cover wet.
“You’re lucky you remind me of my sister or else you would've rid of your ass a long ago, Twinkie.”
I let out one dry laugh. “No, I wouldn’t have. I’m a damn good bartender, and you know it.” I smirked.
Gomez laughed and stood tall at the end of the booth looking at my phone.
“Can I have my phone…please.”
“Cállate la boca and drink your water,” he said with a playful smile.
Gomez clicked a few more buttons, relearning how to text on a phone with a number pad. I was a pro. It was probably the most useless talent to have aside from knowing how to moonwalk, twirling a pen around your thumb and index finger, or curling your tongue. I was a pro at that too.
“When you sober up, you get your phone. Now, sit calmly and go find some new music.”
“Who’re you texting?”
“Your boyfriend.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Jack? What did he say? Is he coming?” I sounded way too eager for my answers.
Let shine a little less, Ahrianna.
Okay.
Gomez smiled widely. “So, Jack’s your boyfriend? That’s a first.”
“No-no. No, he’s not. No. I don’t know what I’m saying…” I looked over at my bag of red chips and started to dig in. “I’m drunk, Juan Jr.”
“You’re just letting your true colors shine, right?” Gomez sang and walked away from me taking my phone with him.
“So, is he coming?” I asked with a mouthful of chips.
Gomez shrugged. “Just wait and find out.”
I let my black butterflies fight in the ring while I thought of Jack and my favorite features. His rose tattoo, the freckle under his eye and the one in the Marilyn Monroe spot, his eyes, bright like a fire with cognac spilling on top. And that smile. That nearly perfect smile that had my toes curling and my heart throbbing. That damn smile that was always there, showing off how happy and carefree Jack was.
Yeah…I missed him more than I should, but my black butterflies let me miss Jack like I’d known him my whole life.