CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Dash studied the sailboat Thorne had rented. Maybe this was a mistake. He had zero experience with boats beyond an ill-fated canoe trip he took with his friend Susan, Lilah, and Susan’s now-ex husband. He’d been eighteen, and he’d spent most of the weekend soaking wet. But Thorne obviously knew what he was doing as he scurried around the deck, checking out the various ropes. Were they called rigging? He suddenly imagined Thorne racing up a rope to look out from the crow’s nest, but sexy as the idea was, Thorne wasn’t actually a pirate. This was just a small sailboat, boating for the rich and idle, not risking life and limb on the high seas.
Heat filled his cheeks when he remembered what he’d said about playing pirate and captive. Why the fuck was he blushing? Rent boys didn’t blush.
“Come aboard, we’re all set,” Thorne called.
Dash held out the picnic basket, afraid the rocking of the boat would make him drop it. Once the basket was safe in the boat, Dash gingerly placed one foot on the deck, pausing with his arms out for balance as the boat rocked. Why did everyone look so agile doing this in movies?
Thorne took his hand. “You don’t have to be that careful. You aren’t going to tip her over.”
Dash took the next step and he was on board, the boat swaying gently under his feet. The wind was strong enough to ruffle even Thorne’s short hair. He assumed that meant it was a good day for sailing.
“Don’t lean too far over the side, listen to me if I tell you to shift your weight, and duck if I say so or the boom might try to take your head off.” Thorne patted the long pole supporting the bottom of the larger sail. That must be the boom.
“I think I can remember that.”
“Then you’ll be fine.” Thorne gestured toward one of the benches lining the sides of the boat. “Have a seat.”
The seats didn’t look very comfortable. Was Thorne serious about fucking in this thing? Dash had been with men in a hell of a lot of different places, including full-on ass sex in a MINI Cooper, and he still wasn’t sure sex in a sailboat would be practical.
“I didn’t realize it would be this small.”
Thorne laughed. “It’s a sailboat, not a yacht. And a small sailboat at that. The one I owned was several feet longer. This one’s only a fifteen-foot daysailer.”
“I guess I really don’t know much about boats.”
Thorne smiled at him, obviously pleased to be the one in the know. “Just relax and trust me.”
He did trust Thorne when it came to most things, boats included. He just didn’t trust him enough to admit what he really wanted. Maybe that night if the day on the water went as well as he hoped.
“You can swim, right?” Thorne asked.
“Yes.” Dash hoped he wouldn’t end up in the water, though.
“Good. I haven’t sailed in a while, but we’re on a lake, not the ocean. I doubt we’ll be testing your swimming skills.
“See that little island out there?” He pointed to what looked like nothing more than a rock and a small tree far out into the lake.
Dash nodded.
“We’re going to head for it and then anchor close by. It’s barely big enough to spread our picnic blanket on, but no one will disturb us there.”
Dash liked that idea. A lot. He was ready to get his hands on Thorne. “Aye, aye, captain.”
Thorne raised a brow. “Pirate play starting already?”
“Mutiny plans are underway.” Dash deliberately glanced toward the coils of rope on the deck.
“Sounds intriguing.”
As Thorne worked, Dash tried to convince himself he wasn’t going to be spilled into the water. Or worse, get seasick. He had a good stomach for roller coasters and such, and he could read in a car, so he had high hopes. But it wasn’t the internal pep talk that made his nervousness dissolve. It was watching Thorne move around on the boat, the muscles in his arms flexing as he tightened ropes, the view of his gorgeous ass as he checked the sails and familiarized himself with all the craft’s workings. The shorts he wore had ragged cuffs and his T-shirt was a bit too tight. He hadn’t bothered to shave that morning, and the stubble looked good on him.
“You’re fucking gorgeous like this, you know? All dressed down and scruffy.”
Thorne looked at Dash, and Dash’s chest tightened. The look of open admiration on Thorne’s face did unnerving things to Dash’s insides. “Thanks.”
“How does it feel to be in a boat again?”
Thorne smiled. “Wonderful.”
LATER THAT MORNING, with the boat anchored off the tiny island, Thorne and Dash lay on a blanket, looking up at the cloudless sky.
“When did you realize you liked men?” Thorne had wanted to ask that question for weeks now.
Dash chewed on his lip as he considered the question. “I think I’ve always known. When friends were salivating over actresses, it was always the hot actors that made me feel funny inside. When I first started jerking off, it was never to thoughts of boobs and always to the thought of some hot athlete or even a guy I’d seen at school. Male bodies were what did it for me. I hated that at first. I didn’t want to feel different from all my friends, but I knew I was. I never went out with a girl other than as a friend. By the time I was seventeen, I was ready to admit exactly what I wanted and go for it. I didn’t go quite so far as to take a boy to prom, but I sure as hell fucked one afterward.”
Thorne laughed with him.
“So what about you?” Dash asked.
Thorne should have known that question was coming. He’d asked Dash, so it was only fair for him to reveal a little about himself, though the real answer to that question was one he’d never told anyone.
“I guess the feelings had been there for me all along too, but I hid them, pushed them down so deep I occasionally forgot they existed. I dated girls in high school and college. I slept with them and enjoyed it, but something always seemed to be missing from those encounters.” He paused and looked at Dash.
Dash reached up and ran his thumb over Thorne’s cheekbone. “Tell me more.” His voice was low and compelling. Thorne did as he asked.
“One night when I was twenty, I got drunk with a guy I was friends with. We made out, and it was better than any sex I’d ever had. He never spoke to me again. But after that, I occasionally gave in and went to a gay club, where I’d pick up a guy, fuck him and then pretend it meant nothing. I kept dating women, because that was what I was supposed to do.”
Thorne paused, not sure he should go on. Was he really going to let Dash in on a secret he’d kept for sixteen years? Had it really been that long? For the first few months, he kept thinking someone would find out, some clue would give him away, but if anyone figured it out, they never mentioned it.
“I met Clint when he hired me to work at Symthson Associates. He was…” Thorne took a slow breath, needing a moment to focus so he didn’t get lost in the memories. “I’ve never told anyone about him.”
Dash laid a hand on his leg. “I’m here to listen if you want to tell me. If not, that’s okay too. Whatever feels right.”
“I’ve never wanted to talk about it until now, but with you…I think it’s time.”
Dash nodded. “Go as slow as you need to. I’ll be here.”
Thorne rolled over on his side and propped his head on his elbow so he was looking down at Dash. “Clint was married. He was so fucking conflicted about cheating. He didn’t want to hurt his wife or leave his kids, but he knew he was gay. From the moment I met him I thought about him constantly, fantasized about him fucking me. Then one day we were the last ones leaving the office. He asked me to join him for a drink. We were in the bar long enough to take a sip, maybe two, before we headed to a hotel.” Thorne glanced at Dash. He didn’t look phased. He’d probably heard far worse.
As if reading his mind, Dash took his hand and squeezed it. “I’ve slept with plenty of married men. I’m certainly not going to judge you.”
Thorne should have realized Dash would have married clients. Maybe he hadn’t thought about it because he didn’t like thinking of Dash with other men at all. “I knew Clint’s wife and his kids, saw them at company picnics, had to pretend…” He paused as tears stung his eyes. He hadn’t even cried when Clint died. He’d been too shocked, too much in denial. And then he’d been shut out. He’d focused on work, on simply keeping moving.
Dash rose up and kissed him softly. He was tempted to lose himself in Dash, but if he didn’t finish his story now, he never would. “We were together such as it was for two years and then Clint had a heart attack. He died a few hours later. I never got to say good-bye and then I couldn’t grieve for him like I needed to, because I had to hide what he meant to me. Someone from the office had to travel to see a client on the day of the funeral. I scheduled myself to do it because I knew I couldn’t hold myself together.” The tears came then, hot and fast. “So now you can see why I’m so fucked up about relationships.”
Thorne let himself be pulled down to lie on Dash’s chest. “I’m right here,” Dash said. “You don’t have to hold back anymore.”
Thorne was grateful for the warmth and tenderness. And as his tears slowed, he realized that while the pain of losing Clint so suddenly was still there, it had eased. Telling Dash had been the right thing to do.
“I never tried dating after that. Once I moved up to senior partner, I started paying for what I wanted. It was so much simpler.”
“I hear that a lot, that paying for sex makes it simple,” Dash said. “It can, but it can also—”
“Complicate things.” Thorne finished the statement for him, certain Dash could feel his heart pounding heavily against his chest. He wanted to explain just how complex his feelings for Dash had become, but he didn’t have the nerve. Once said, the words couldn’t be taken back. They would change everything.
“Is this the first time you let yourself mourn him?” Dash asked as he stroked Thorne’s hair.
“Yes. At first I was afraid if I did, I’d never come back to myself, that I’d let grief take me. Now the pain has dulled, but it’s still there.”
“How could it not be? You lost someone you loved.”
“Who knows what would have happened, whether he would ever have left his wife. I was probably a fool to believe he would but…yeah, I did love him.”
Dash held him, and Thorne let more tears fall. What was the point in fighting them? When the storm of his emotions quieted, Dash slipped out from under him. “Stay there. I’ll be right back.”
What was Dash up to? Thorne propped himself on his arms so he could see. When Dash stepped into the boat and then out again with a coil of rope, a shudder of lust ran through Thorne.
“Raise your hands over your head,” Dash said, his voice low, commanding but not harsh.
Thorne’s cock hardened as Dash wrapped the rope around the thin trunk of the tree and then his wrists and secured it. Dash left the bonds loose, which was good since the rope was scratchy. Thorne could free himself if he wanted to, but he didn’t.
Dash shoved Thorne’s shirt up and lavished kisses over his chest. He teased Thorne’s nipples to hard nubs, sucking, licking, biting. Thorne arched up, wanting more. Dash kissed his way down Thorne’s torso as he unfastened his shorts. Then finally, he drew Thorne’s cock deep into his mouth. Thorne thrust into that inviting warmth as he fought the urge to tug his hands free so he could keep Dash right where he wanted him. Dash sucked him until Thorne was sure he was going to shoot in Dash’s mouth, but Dash stopped just in time.
Thorne watched as he pulled a condom from his pocket. He expected Dash to put it on himself, but he rolled it slowly down Thorne’s dick, the touch of his hands bringing Thorne right back to the edge.
When Thorne was covered, Dash stood and shucked his bathing trunks. He sucked on his fingers until they were slick with spit and then began to open himself up. Thorne bit his lip to hold in a moan. He needed to be inside Dash right that second. “Don’t make me wait. I don’t give a fuck about your anticipation theories right now.”
Dash laughed. “Neither do I. I don’t remember where I put the lube, and I don’t want to search for it.” He leaned over Thorne and dribbled spit onto his cock.
“Oh, fuck. Are you sure about this?” Thorne hoped he was.
Dash answered by straddling Thorne and sinking slowly onto his cock. His ass was so fucking tight. Thorne wasn’t sure he could take much more. Dash didn’t stop moving until he was fully seated. His eyes were shut tight, and his thighs were rock hard with tension.
“Dash?”
“Gimme a sec, okay?”
When Dash opened his eyes, the predatory hunger in them made Thorne shudder.
“I’m going to ride you until you lose your mind,” Dash said. “I’m going to make you forget everything but my ass squeezing your cock. You got that? But I’m going to do it at my own speed.”
Thorne struggled against the ropes. “Need to touch you. Need—”
“Not yet.”
Dash rose up and then drove back down, making Thorne cry out. Thorne was grateful there wasn’t anyone close by, not that he really cared at this point. Let them watch. It wasn’t like anyone could fail to be mesmerized by Dash like this, all hot and commanding.
Dash rose again, moving even more slowly this time. “I wonder how long you think I can keep this up.”
Thorne was done with waiting. “Fuck. Me. Now.”
“No, I think this is all you need.” He kept up the maddeningly slow rhythm.
Thorne fumbled with the ropes, working them loose so he could slip his hands out. “When I get these ropes loose—”
Dash had the nerve to laugh. “You don’t really want to free yourself.”
“What makes you so fucking sure?”
“Because if you do, I’ll stop and you won’t get to come.”
That was so not happening. “What if I make myself come?”
“You won’t, because I’m in charge, and you’re going to do what I say.”
Just like that, Thorne stopped fighting. Dash was right. He needed Dash controlling him so he could let go.
Dash ran a hand down his chest. “That’s more like it.”
“You can’t go slow forever,” Thorne challenged. He immediately realized his words would only make Dash try harder to do just that.
“I could with anyone else, but with you… What you do to me, Thorne, it’s …” Dash let his head fall back and sucked in a sharp breath. If Thorne guessed right, his cock had just brushed Dash’s prostate.
Dash didn’t say any more, but he did pick up the pace. Thorne worked his hips as much as he could with Dash on top. He longed to turn him over and thrust deep, but he also wanted Dash in charge.
Sweat ran down Dash’s face and chest, dripping onto Thorne, mingling with his own. The sun beat down on them, lighting them up outside the way Dash fucking him was lighting Thorne up inside.
“Thorne. God, Thorne. I can’t hold back,” Dash cried.
“Then come. Please.”
“Yes!” Dash grabbed his cock, jacking himself until he shuddered and cum splattered Thorne’s chest. The sight sent Thorne over the edge. He bucked so hard he nearly unseated Dash. His orgasm went on and on. When he was wrung dry, he collapsed, head hitting the ground with a thunk.
The next thing he was aware of was Dash untying his hands and rubbing his wrists. “Are you okay?”
“I think you scrambled my brains.”
“Seriously Thorne?” Dash looked truly worried.
“I’m fine. Just floating.”
Dash stretched out next to Thorne and put his head on Thorne’s chest. “I wish…”
“What? Tell me.” Did he want to know?
“I wish we could just stay here.”
“We can,” Thorne said. “I could rent a cabin.”
“No, I mean… Never mind.”
“Stay here away from the world, cocooned like this, fucking, drinking, sailing, no responsibilities, no one else intruding,” Thorne suggested.
“Yeah, like that.”
“Me too.”
Neither of them said anything else for a long time.