I pulled out of Pierce’s fierce grip the following morning with guilt imbedded in every one of my pores. He’d told me he loved me. And he didn’t demand I say it back.

Nothing.

He didn’t ask for anything, just said it, and made me feel like the most cherished woman in the world, and also the slimiest, because I couldn’t tell him back. I'd vowed to myself on our wedding day, I would not turn into my mother.

I wouldn’t fold myself into whatever he wanted me to be.

I wouldn’t fall in love and bow down to his every whim.

I wouldn’t lose myself in a man who’d never be able to see the real me.

Pierce lay curled toward my empty spot on the bed, and I went to get coffee and reason my way through this mess. I tied my robe as I approached the dining room.

Fox sat at the table, mug in hand, with his phone in the other. “You guys have fun last night?”

I didn’t answer him right away, walking straight to the coffee pot and pouring my own. I didn’t join him but hopped up to sit on the edge of the countertop with my cup. “If you mean the party, it was awful. But I’m sure there will be plenty of smiling pictures of us on page six.”

He held up his phone to one of the paparazzi shots of Pierce and I entering the party. I glanced away. Between the way the families treated him last night, and the way I treated him, I couldn’t look at his smiling face. Warm and bright and hopeful for the future. But did I talk to him about it, or just let him remain hopelessly in love with me, feeling things I’d never be able to reciprocate?

“Oh, a package came for you.” Fox pointed to the table by the door.

No one had ordered anything that I could recall. I jumped down, cup still in hand, and went to the door. The Kleenex-sized box read Nordstrom, but it had no return address. Sitting my cup down, I grabbed a set of keys and sliced the tape on the of the box. Inside, a layer of bubble wrap. I pulled it out, and on the bottom, found three bullets. My heart took up an uneven rhythm, and my hand shook as I reached in and plucked them out, all at once.

The brass had been engraved. My full name, Katherine, etched into the metal of the first one. The next said Bianca, and finally, Pierson. Something about his name being listed there broke a wall inside me. I dropped the bullets, and they clattered to the table and rolled to the floor as I crouched over in attempt to catch my now short breath.

Fox knelt next to me in seconds. “What is it, Kat, what happened?” He put his hand on the floor, right over one of the bullets, and picked it up. The one he grabbed dedicated to Pierce. His face went cold, and he stood, grabbed the box, and the other two shells near my knees. “Who sent this?”

I shook my head, holding my arms around my belly like they could contain the anger and fear and rage roiling inside me.

He went back to the table, snapped up his phone, and made a call. There was no courtesy, only commands to the other end of the line.

I had to get up, put myself together. No doubt every one of Pierce’s men would be here in a matter of minutes. I didn’t mind Fox or Gerry seeing me like this, but not the rest of them, not the entire crew.

Pierce came out a few seconds later, and I’d barely started to get to my feet when he clasped me under the elbows to pull me upright. “Are you okay? What is it?”

Words cascaded through my brain, bumping into each other. An explanation, an apology, and all the things I wanted to say to him, but knew I couldn’t. So I didn’t. I shook my head, pulled out of his arms, and went back to our bedroom. Closing the door behind me, I prayed he wouldn’t follow. I wouldn’t have the strength to keep it all in if he pushed me, and the man would do it.

He was born to push me, just like I’d been born to do the same for him. How many times had we peeled each other apart for amusement, to cause pain, to hurt? And now, I couldn’t fathom seeing that anguish in his eyes.

I remembered it well. A mix of cold indifference and burning rage. Every time he looked at me like that, I knew I couldn’t see him again for a while. I’d hurt him, and he retreated behind the wall and would stay there until I could find a way to bring it down again.

My phone buzzed on the bedside table. “Bianca,” I whispered. Running to pick it up. Her face smiled up on the screen and I hit send. “Are you okay?”

“Annoyed but fine, Kat. Why are there two more guards at my door?”

How the hell did I tell her I couldn’t ensure her safety? That our entire world might be ripped away at any moment. “There’s been a new threat.”

“To me?”

“To you, me, and Pierce.”

“Pierce?”

How much did she need to know? “Yes, the families think he’s the key to controlling me.”

She snorted but didn’t say anything.

“What was that?”

“Anyone with eyes can see he’s the key to anything involving you.”

I stiffened and glared down at the phone. “What does that mean? I don’t get it.”

“You’re in love with him, Big Sister. I’ve seen the way you look at him and the way he touches you. And after your display at the party, the five families saw it too.”

Shit. Shit Shit shit shit shit.

I kept myself from throwing the phone, narrowly. Instead, I grabbed the bedding and ripped it to the floor. I stood up for Pierce, because they were tearing him down, and I couldn’t endure listening to it. Now, after Bianca said that, it hit me. It had been a power play alright. They’d fished to see how much I really cared for him.

The bastards were testing to see if the Irish Mafia Prince had caught himself a shrew.

I threw my phone on the bed and tossed the pillows next. It wasn’t as satisfying as hearing glass shatter on a hard surface.

“Kat?”

I dragged the phone across the bare sheets and put it back to my ear. “I’m here.”

“I didn’t hear anything break from that side. Did you mute me?”

I huffed into the receiver. “No, I threw the pillows.”

She laughed, and I caught the crunch of food and the sound of her chewing. “He really has changed you, hasn’t he? We used to hide the breakables when you were in a bad mood. Now you’ve taken to throwing pillows. Why couldn’t you have started that years ago?”

“Shut up,” I grumbled.

She knew I didn’t mean it. My anger started to fizzle, but in its place sat a realization. I couldn’t continue this with Pierce if I meant him to stay safe. As far as the five families were concerned, they needed to think he was nothing more than a convenience. A pretty package to get what I wanted from the lawyers and nothing else.

“I’m not feeding these monkeys,” Bianca said, breaking up the silence.

“The monkeys will feed themselves. Why don’t you ask their names since they are instructed to take a bullet for you? Might be nice to show them some respect.”

More chewing and silence, then, “Talk to you later, Sis. We can figure this out after work.”

She hung up, and I racked my brain. Did she tell me she started working somewhere? I couldn’t remember her telling me anything, but I’d also been preoccupied with the wedding and everything that happened since I moved into Pierce’s home.

I went to the closet, snagged a black dress with long sleeves and my highest heels. I needed to use the clothes like armor today. Appear every inch an untouchable to both Pierce and his men.

Speak of the devil. He opened the door and poked his head in. “Are you okay?”

I slipped on the dress and zipped up the side as he entered and closed the door behind him.

“You alright?”

“Fine,” I lied. My heart, my chest, my stomach, even my fingertips ached from the knowledge of what I had to do to him. He came around and pressed his lips to back of my head. I stilled and let him, then pulled out of the grip of his hands on my waist. “I have to go see the lawyer today and take care of a few more things,” I told him, not meeting his eyes. Not even looking at him now.

I could hear the puzzlement in his tone as he answered. “Okay, well, take Fox or Gerry.”

I sat and put my shoes on, focusing as intently as I could on the floor and my shoes and anything but him. “Shouldn’t they be here with you.”

“One of them will be, whichever you don’t take with you.”

“Fine,” I said, clipped and cold.

He reached for me, but I sidestepped his hands and headed toward the door and into the main rooms. “Fox, let’s go.”

He glanced at Pierce who came around the corner after me, and I snapped. “I said, let’s go. You don’t need to verify my every order.”

They shared another glance, and I reigned in another verbal lashing. He followed me outside and opened the backdoor of the car. I climbed in, and he took the front seat with Holt. No doubt wanting to keep his distance.

“I’m going to the lawyers’ office, then my father’s house,” I instructed Holt.

We pulled away in silence, and the entire ride, I could have sworn they could hear the crinkle and crackle of my heart breaking apart in my chest. Like they heard every creak it made as piece-by-piece, it chipped apart and fell into ash. What use was it to anyone if it could get my family killed?

I marched into the lawyer’s office and demanded the deed and keys to my father’s home, and the release of my inheritance. Something in my face must have told him not to fuck with me today. He handed over the paperwork and promised the rest would be taken care of.

Next, we went to my family home, the house mostly packed up. Fox accompanied me inside. “Stay here,” I told him and headed upstairs to my father’s room.

I knew exactly what I needed here. I carefully shifted his bedside table drawer open and pulled out the hand gun and clip he kept under a stack of newspapers from 1978. I checked the chamber and safety before slipping the cold steel into my handbag.

I went back down and exited, with Fox on my heels. “Are you picking up anything?”

I patted my bag gently. “I got everything I needed.”

“Which was?”

I climbed into the car. “None of your God damn business,” I told him and slammed the door in his face.

I narrowly kept the sob from escaping me. It built in my chest, and I allowed the years of practice to take over, school my features, while I broke down inside. I had to shove the world away, keep them at arm’s length, so they couldn’t be used against me.

Unbidden, my thoughts went to my father. His drugs, women, the drinking. For a split second, I understood something about him I’d never been able to glean.

And now, I’d turned into the person I hated all my life.

If it saved Pierce and Bianca, it would be worth it.