I almost rip my clothes off right then and there, standing on the veranda of Kieran’s hunting cabin. He could tell me to do anything with that voice and I’d be completely helpless to do anything but obey him.

He heads back into the cabin and I fight the urge, even as I make eye contact with Beckett, too, his voice echoing in my ear.

Licking you until you come twice.

Fucking you until you scream my name.

I want it. My pussy is overflowing with juices right now, my knees practically weak. The bad, naughty part of me wants to tear off all my clothes and run after them beg them to take me, but I don’t.

I can’t. Because I’m not that girl.

I’ve never done more than kiss a boy before, and I have no idea how to seduce someone. I don’t even know how to pick which of them I want to seduce — the charming, sandy-haired Beckett, with the easy smile who teases me?

Or Kieran, who’s dark and serious, with that purr of a voice that makes me want to fall to my knees?

I can’t decide.

I don’t know how to decide, but I know I’d have to — fantasies aside, having two men at once is just...

...It’s dirty. It’s filthy. It’s simply not done.

Except it is, a voice in my head whispers.

You know it is.

And you know that no one ever has to know.

I take a deep breath, smooth my hair.

It’s just the trauma of being stalked and threatened that’s making you feel this way, I tell myself, except I know it’s a lie.

How many nights did I lie awake the first time I met them, thinking of Beckett on one side of me, Kieran on the other?

How many times did I pleasure myself thinking of them sharing me in the dirtiest, most intimate way possible?

This isn’t new, think.

It’s not new, and it’s not going away.

And no one will ever have to know.

I give my head a quick shake, turn on the hot tub so it can warm up, and then walk inside.

* * *

My hands are shaking as I grab a towel from my bathroom. It’s also clearly from a bygone area, though it’s in perfectly good shape — it’s dotted with pink and green palm trees, along with the purple silhouettes of flamingos.

I don’t even wonder why the palm trees are pink and not the flamingos. I’m that distracted.

Slowly, in my own bedroom, I take off my shirt and jeans, tossing them both on a chair in the corner. My stomach is in knots, but even now I’m so wet that my upper thighs are damp.

I grab a hair tie and pull my hair up so it won’t be in the water.

And then I wrap the towel around myself, tuck the corner in, and turn the doorknob.

You could be wrong, I remind myself. You’ve never done this before, you could be reading their signals all wrong and you’d have no idea.

But then I think of having to spend another night here, alone. Quietly getting myself off, trying not to moan their names out loud.

Knowing that they’re right next door, but not doing anything about it.

There’s a crazy hacker collective out there, and they want me dead, or dismembered, or disgraced, or something. Don’t I deserve to have what I want in the meantime?

I push the door open, my heart beating so fast I think it might explode, and I walk through the hallway, toward the kitchen.

The moment I emerge, the conversation that Kieran and Beckett were having melts away into nothingness, and they both look at me.

It’s not even a look.

They devour me with their eyes. I can practically feel them already, hands whispering down my body as they invade my most secret places, whisper I’m going to lick you and fuck you and lick you again in my ear.

Despite myself, I shiver, the sensation racing down my spine. The towel’s not very big — it covers me from chest to upper thigh, but I’m suddenly wishing that it either covered way, way more or way less.

“Hi,” I say. “I was just going to try out the hot tub...”

I trail off, licking my lips. As bold as I was feeling a few moments ago, all my courage is suddenly gone, and I can’t even say don’t come out there because I’ll be skinny dipping.

Slowly, Beckett takes a chunk of carrot and pops it into his mouth.

“Did you bring a swimsuit?” he asks, his gaze slowly raking down my towel-covered body.

Just that makes my pussy throb, the way he’s looking at me like he already knows what’s underneath the palm trees and flamingos.

“No,” I say, suddenly shy.

“That means don’t go out there,” Kieran says, shooting Beckett a deadly look before resting his eyes on me again.

Beckett ignores the look.

“Need a hand?” he asks.

Already, I can tell they both have erections, their stiff cocks pushing at their pants, straining against zippers. Despite myself, I bite my lip and stare.

I’ve never seen a cock in person before. Sure, I’ve watched porn — Voravia does have the internet — but I’ve never been close enough to a naked one to touch it.

I’m half a second away from loosening my towel, letting it fall to the floor, and seeing what happens, but I chicken out. Instead I lower my eyes, swallow hard, and walk through the kitchen.

“I’m all right, thanks,” I say. “Call me for dinner, and no peeking until I’m in the tub.”

“How are we supposed to know when you’re in if we don’t peek?” Beckett asks, grinning.

Kieran makes a low noise in his throat, and I just scamper through the back door, heading for the hot tub before I can lose my nerve for that, too.

It’s heated up nicely, and I swish my hand around for a moment before turning the bubbles on, then glance back at the door, still nervous.

It’s too light outside for me to see through it well. For all I know they could both be watching me right now, just waiting for me to drop this towel.

Or they could be totally immersed in chopping and prepping dinner, already having forgotten about me. I think that’s even worse, because after all... don’t I want them to be watching?

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and loosen the top of the towel, slowly unwinding it from around myself. I steel myself, then finally whip it off and toss it over the veranda railing, then get into the hot tub as fast as humanly possible, glancing over at the door as the frothy bubbles finally cover me.

Relax, I tell myself. They can’t see you anymore.

I close my eyes, letting my head sink against the side. I can’t shake the image of their erections from my mind, of both of them watching me, practically willing my towel off.

I wonder if they can see me at all right now, I think. Water’s clear, even if the bubbles aren’t quite. Maybe...

God, the thought of them still watching, their eyes locked on my form as I relax out here. My skin’s getting flushed with the heat of the water, but there’s another heat blossoming inside my core, this one velvety and molten.

There’s a jet against my lower back, and I move my hips slightly, letting it ease the knots there. It feels good.

It almost feels like someone massaging me, holding my hips, pressing his thumbs into my spine.

I take another deep breath, eyes closed. My thighs part almost on their own, my fingers skimming over one nipple, just below the surface of the water.

They’re not watching, I tell myself. They’re making dinner, they’re distracted, they can’t see anything anyway. They just think you’re relaxing in the tub.

They’d never come out here, both of them together, one licking your nipples while the other held you against the side of the hot tub and fucked you hard with his enormous cock.

That thought makes a ball of lightning practically explode inside me, just like it does every single time I have it. Before I know it, I’m sighing out loud, one hand pinching my nipple and the other rubbing my clit hard, legs spread wide as my hips move and buck in their own rhythm.

But it’s okay, because there’s no way they can see me.