Chapter 9

 

Geoffrey had been with hot guys before, but he’d never felt the kind of lust he’d experienced with Sven’s kiss. Holy hell, he was still burning up inside an hour later when they finally got back to his house. Now, they sat in his dining room chairs, bottles of water in their hands, both quiet. Geoffrey felt so strange, tired from the crazy night at the nightclub yet hyped up from all the excitement. And that kiss. He wanted more.

He could see the same restlessness in the other man’s eyes as he kept staring at Geoffrey.

That kiss had shaken him up, too.

Sven’s hair lay in a wild tangle around his face and Geoffrey had the urge to grab a brush. He’d set Sven on the floor with his back to the couch and he’d run the brush and his fingers through all that hair, smoothing it out for him.

Sven would tilt his head back and close his eyes.

Warmth curled inside him, sent blood racing to his dick, and he tightened his hand on the water bottle, unable to take his eyes off Sven’s lips. He wanted to be held up like that again. Wanted those hands back on him—without clothes in the way this time. He wanted all that weight on his body and that hair draped around their faces.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

He jumped when Sven barked out the order. He hadn’t raised his voice, but his irritation was loud and clear.

“I can’t help how I feel. You expect to kiss me like that and just let it go? There was something there, Sven. We have something between us. Don’t you want to explore it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Geoffrey let go of his water and threw his arms up. “You and your short, cryptic responses. You’re driving me crazy. Why doesn’t it matter? Can you honestly tell me that all your kisses with other men felt like that? Do you not get that this thing? With us?” He waved his fingers back and forth between them. “It’s big. We have insane chemistry.”

“We can’t fuck, Geoffrey.” He raised the bottle to his mouth.

“Why? Afraid you won’t fit?”

Sven choked, spitting water onto the table. He mumbled something under his breath and rose to grab paper towels.

Geoffrey followed and got right up into the man’s face. Well, as close as he could get because even on his toes, he couldn’t quite reach. “I know I’m built…” He stroked his hand down Sven’s chest because it was impossible to keep his hands off him. “…smaller. And you seem to have an aversion to that for some reason—”

Sven grabbed his hand, stopping it. “Geoffrey, it’s not an aversion.”

“Well, it’s something stopping us from seeing where this could go. Aren’t you at all curious? Think of all the ways we can get creative.” He grinned and loved it when Sven’s green gaze dropped to his lips. “How much fun is that going to be?”

“Going to be? This is not happening.” He put his hands on Geoffrey’s arms. “You speak as if it’s a done deal.”

“Because it is.” Determination knotted Geoffrey’s gut. “You want me. I can tell. And I want you. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone.”

Green eyes narrowed. “I heard all about how hard you pursued Dr. Frost.”

Geoffrey shrugged. “I did want him, I won’t lie. But I never expected anything other than a hookup or two with him and a lot of that was about satisfying some curiosity.”

“And wanting to get with me isn’t? You keep talking about our size difference. Is that what attracts you to me?”

“Partly, yes. I won’t lie about that either. You heard my friends—”

He let go. “Those people aren’t your friends.”

“Okay, those acquaintances told you flat out I like my men big. I do. I’ve always been attracted to larger men, but look at me. It’s not hard to be bigger than me. And you, well, you’re bigger than…well, most everyone.” Geoffrey chuckled. “And yes, I want to use your body like my own personal jungle gym, but that’s not all we have between us. I like you, Sven. A lot. I want to know more about you.”

If he hadn’t been staring so hard, he wouldn’t have caught it—the flare of nostrils when he said personal jungle gym. Sven liked that idea. A lot.

The punch of lust that hit Geoffrey then turned his plan for flirtation into one for full-on persuasion. He had to get Sven into his bed and it was partly out of curiosity, yes, but it felt bigger than that somehow. He’d never felt this kind of connection with anyone. “Sven, I may look small and I may have this ridiculous, young-looking face, but I assure you, I’m a grown man.”

“I know you’re a grown man, Geoffrey.” He frowned. “And there is nothing ridiculous about your face. You’re stunning and you know it.”

Oh, that was new. Nobody had called him that before. He heard pretty a lot and it didn’t bother him—not really. But the reverent note in Sven’s voice showed him the man really meant it. He stroked both palms over Sven’s stomach, then up to his arms. He doubted he could get both hands around those biceps. “I can take anything you dish out. I want to take anything you dish out.”

“Stop it.” Sven took Geoffrey’s hands off him, but he didn’t let go.

Geoffrey threaded their fingers together, loving the slight slump in Sven’s wide shoulders. He was getting through. “You like me.”

Sven closed his eyes and sighed. “Liking you isn’t the problem here.”

“So, it’s what? Your job? You can’t give me that crap. Rowe lives with an employee and his COO hooked up with a client. So is the job the only thing holding you back?”

“No, I mean yes.” He shook his head slightly, never taking his gaze off Geoffrey’s face. “We’re not supposed to fraternize with the clients.”

“Is that what we would do?” Geoffrey let go of his hands and stepped closer, shivering when all that heat seeped into him. “Fraternize? Sounds fun.” He took another step and couldn’t help the small moan when he came into contact with Sven’s body. “You said no first. What’s really holding you back?”

And that question must have been too much because Sven put his hands on Geoffrey’s shoulders and pushed him back. “You’re right. It’s not just the job. I have my reasons, so this isn’t happening. That kiss…it was a mistake. I was just relieved to find you were okay.” He leaned down, staring hard into Geoffrey’s eyes. “I don’t want you like that.”

The disappointment that shot through him came with so much humiliation, Geoffrey took a step back. Then another because it felt like being Hulk-punched. The hot, tight clamp around his lungs made words impossible. He wanted to apologize for pushing so hard where he wasn’t wanted, but couldn’t. All he could think was he’d misread the signals. Even that kiss. Somehow, he’d believed…

He’d pushed like this once before and been embarrassed and this time, he didn’t even have booze as an excuse. He’d sobered up long ago.

He couldn’t believe how devastated he felt. And it must have shown on his face.

“Geoffrey—” Sven began, his tone laced with an apology.

He held up a hand because he didn’t want to hear more. The job excuse was bullshit and he knew it. “Hey, no problem,” he finally managed, somewhat proud to hear his voice didn’t shake, which was a miracle considering how much the shame burned a hole in his gut. “I’m going to turn in. See you in the morning.”

He managed to walk a casual, straight line through his living room, but once out of sight in the hall to his room, he moved faster. He shut the door behind him and slumped against it, staring at his hands. They shook. He slid down the door until he sat with his back to it. Burying his head in his hands, he groaned.

Once again, he’d made a complete fool of himself. Wanted someone who thought he was a joke. He’d never had trouble picking up certain kinds of men for the night. Good time guys like Brendon, ones that looked as young or even younger than himself—who were not his preference at all—and then, there were the ones who only liked him because he looked young. He’d played up his youthful face to get what he wanted in the past, but all that had changed after he’d helped out Lucas Vallois one night.

Geoffrey had agreed to play a part in a kind of undercover mission. He’d worn a collar, posing as the sex pet of a rich man, and seen something he hadn’t been able to scrub from his mind since. An actual child trafficking auction in progress. It had sickened him so badly, he’d had nightmares and called his brother every night for two weeks. He’d used his sources to track down entities that fought human trafficking and now steadily donated to them. He’d also developed an aversion to men who were obviously after that sort of thing. But then, the ones he really wanted always pushed him away.

You look like a kid.

I’m not into jailbait.

I prefer my men more…manly.

As if size or a masculine face had anything to do with being a male. Fuckers. He wanted to be with a man who saw him as a man, too, and he felt Sven did. Had felt it with every fiber of his being.

How could he have gotten it so wrong? How could the fire of that kiss have been so one-sided?

“Geoffrey?”

He froze at Sven’s deep voice on the other side of his door. His mouth went dry and he held his breath.

“Come on, Geoffrey, answer me.”

“Just go to bed, Sven.” Exhaustion and resolve made his voice heavy and he didn’t care. “It’s cool.”

A long sigh sounded and Sven’s voice came louder but kind of muffled like he’d placed his face against the door. “No, it’s not. I’m sorry I hurt you and I owe you an explanation.”

“You don’t owe me shit, Larsen. Really, I get it. You aren’t the first man to tell me no and trust me, I understand why. I’m fine.”

“You’re sitting on the floor.”

Shit. He hadn’t even thought about Sven figuring that out from the location of his voice. He also didn’t have a handy excuse, so he just stayed quiet.

Cloth rustling and a grunt sounded from the other side of the door before it rattled against his back. “Now, I’m on the floor, too. I want you to listen, okay?”

Geoffrey turned to the side and rested his temple against the wood. He heard Sven’s breathing, heard him moving around to get comfortable and pictured that big body slumped in his hallway. “I’m all ears,” he said softly.

“I lied. I do want you, Geoffrey. I’ve been attracted to you from the beginning.”

Geoffrey sat up. “Then why are you fighting this so hard? You don’t really believe you’ll lose your job, right?”

“No, I don’t. But there is a line I shouldn’t cross with you and I take my work very seriously.”

He admired that about Sven, but he wanted the bodyguard to take him seriously. And he had no idea how to go about getting that because none of his former boyfriends or lovers had ever really taken him that way. He was the entertaining party boy—great for a fun night or two of sex, but not worth more. He opened his mouth, then snapped it shut because he just flat out didn’t know how to convey what he wanted. What he suspected might be more than want and edging into the need category.

“Still there, G?” Sven’s voice was low.

“Yeah,” Geoffrey breathed, placing a hand over the warmth gathering in his chest.

“Just listen to me for a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed, happy the man planned to say more than one or two cryptic sentences.

“As I said before, my family came here from Norway and we moved to a very small town. I may have lost most of the accent now, but then, I didn’t speak English well.”

“That must have been hard.”

He blew out a loud breath that rattled the door. “Plus, my family came from the southern tip of Norway and we had a slower way of talking there. I kept that habit.”

“You say this like I haven’t noticed.”

“Michiganders talk fast. But, the real problem? I was a big boy from very early on, so I stood out. Didn’t make friends. Then at puberty, I shot up over six feet. I towered over the other kids, so they, I don’t know, took that as some kind of challenge. They liked to gang up on me—thinking numbers would help in a fight. Most of the time, I didn’t give them what they wanted. My job aside, I don’t enjoy fighting. Plus, I was always wary of hurting someone. But once, when I was fourteen, the same group cornered me and things got out of hand. I was so tired of avoiding them and taking their bullshit.”

He was silent a long time and Geoffrey put his palm on the door. “What happened?” he whispered.

“I lost my temper and hit back. I have these big hands and then, I didn’t have control of my strength and didn’t really understand it. I fought and hurt several kids, but this one…I was so angry at him all the time because I knew why he instigated the mobs. Him, I punched so hard, he stumbled back and hit his head on the corner of the school building. There was a lot of blood.” His voice lowered. “He wouldn’t wake up.”

Geoffrey’s heart pounded and he held his breath as he waited to hear what happened.

“His parents were called. The kid ended up in the hospital. Concussion. In the end he was okay, but I never got over it. Neither did the people in town. I was a bully from then on. Life in that town was hell on Earth.”

“That’s not fair.” Geoffrey sat up. “Those boys goaded you for years.”

“They did. And that kid was the worst. He was a stupid punk but I also knew why he sought me out so much, why he started so many fights. I could see the way he looked at me. He knew how alike we were and he hated that about himself.”

“I’ve known lots of men like that.” Ones who had a hard time accepting they were gay. “Sven?”

“Yeah?”

“What does this have to do with me?”

“He was a smaller guy, too. I’ve been terrified of…hurting someone like that again.”

“That’s why you’re so careful with me,” Geoffrey said half under his breath. “In the class. You think I don’t know you could easily keep me from taking you down?”

“Of course I could.”

The hint of humor and cocky confidence in his tone was so welcome. And hot. But still. “Don’t sound so sure about it.” The laugh that shook the door warmed his heart and went a long way to cast out the hurt. He took a deep breath and twisted until the back of his head rested on the wood again. “Didn’t you also notice how strong I am?”

“Geoffrey, I notice everything about you.”

He shut his eyes as a tiny ball of excitement burst low in his gut. “There is no way you would or even could hurt me, Sven. I am tougher than I look and you know it. My dad made sure of that.” He chuckled. “I told you—he had me in self-defense courses the day he realized I wasn’t going to grow much more.”

“He couldn’t have known that. I shot up another six inches in my late teens.”

“Guess he was right, huh?” Geoffrey laughed. “Dad wasn’t very tall and neither was my mom. It’s amazing that Finn reached five foot nine. Six inches, huh? So you were what? Six foot one or so when you were thirteen? You should have seen me. I was a squirt in comparison.”

“You were no doubt adorable and more than likely, I would have had a major crush.”

God, he was sweet. “I doubt that very much, but thanks. Growing that fast, I bet you ate your parents out of their house.”

“All of my brothers are just as big, so they were used to it. My mother cooked huge meals that could stretch. Soups, stews, and pasta. She baked bread nearly every day. We never had store bought.” His chuckle had a winsome note. “I miss that bread so much. My days at school were rough, so coming home to that smell made everything feel better.”

“You said you have three older brothers and they were just as big. Then why were you fighting those kids alone all the time?”

“My brothers are all older than Alida and me, so they had already moved out. My mother always said we came late to the party.”

“She sounds cool, your mom.” Geoffrey missed his mother so much, he had a hard time thinking about her. His dad, too. He rubbed his chest.

“She is. You’d like her. She’d love you.”

God, he liked Sven like this. Talkative. Honest. He rolled the back of his head against the door. “Does she know you’re gay?”

“Both my parents figured it out fairly early. They had experience because one of my brothers is also gay.”

“Is he a big blond, too? I can hardly stand the thought.” He groaned playfully. “And now I’m having a Viking sandwich fantasy. I may need a moment. Could I find him online?”

“He is as big and no, you can’t.” He was silent a moment and Geoffrey could hear him moving around. The door rattled again and he knew the man had rested his full weight against it. “I wouldn’t…like that.”

Once again, he found it hard to breathe. There was something between them…other than a goddamn door. He knew it. The lingering trails of excitement in his belly grew until everything felt tight—like he was poised on the edge of a profound shift in everything he knew.

The silence stretched out between them as he tried to calm himself down. He didn’t want to blow it. Pushy flirting had gotten him nowhere, and he honestly hoped for more from Sven than one or two nights of acrobatic, creative fun. He’d meant it when he’d said he’d like to use him as his own personal jungle gym, but he wanted so much more than that. Maybe enough time to really learn about him, explore his body, and discover the things he liked.

“I do want you, Geoffrey.” The words were barely muttered, the tone throaty and so goddamn sensual, Geoffrey felt them in his groin. “I shouldn’t have lied to you and I’m sorry.”

For the first time, he was without a quip or a sexy response. His heart rammed his ribcage and he looked down at the insanely hard dick making his jeans feel like a straitjacket. Grimacing, he unzipped them and tried to cut off the immediate hiss at the relief of setting it free. But not enough. He cringed.

Both the zipper and the noise had been so much louder than he’d expected.

Sven sucked in a breath so hard, he heard that easily, too.

The air around him grew hot and he couldn’t stop his own breaths from picking up, knowing they were loud enough for Sven to hear. Fuck, the excitement in his belly made it hard to sit still. He couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his fingers around his cock. Another hiss escaped his lips.

“Fuck.” The word barely made it through the door. “Are you touching yourself, Geoffrey?”

He shut his eyes. Sven’s voice, when he was turned on, was the sexiest fucking rumble he’d ever heard. His teeth clamped down on his lower lip as butterflies hit Geoffrey’s stomach like they had an escape agenda. That heat in his voice. It was something. He stroked his fingers over the pre-come already glistening on the head.

“Answer me, Geoffrey. Are you touching yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Faen…”

He had no idea what Sven said, but the word stretched on a groan that made him start stroking himself harder. He ignored the ache in his arm from falling earlier. His head thudded against the door. He eyed the drawer with his lube all the way across the room but the rustling behind his head kept him in place. He didn’t want to miss a thing. “You are too, aren’t you?” Damn, he didn’t even recognize his own raspy voice.

“I am.”

“Are you imagining anything right now?”

When he didn’t answer, Geoffrey turned to press his ear to the door. He couldn’t hear enough.

“Tell me, Sven,” he whispered.

“I had to do this the first night I was here. All it took was the one glimpse of your ass and I was stroking myself off in the shower like a teenager. You have the hottest body I’ve ever seen and you just had to go and flaunt it. You liked getting me riled.”

“Of course I did—do. I want to make you crazy, Sven. So bad.”

“You do.”

“Fuck, Sven. Tell me more.”

He made some kind of hoarse sound—like a strangled grunt. “Like what?”

“What does your cock feel like in your hand?”

“Hot. Hard.” This time he growled.

Geoffrey heard more clothes rustling, then a noise that sounded very much like Sven had spit.

His hand froze. He started panting so hard, he could barely get words out. “Did you…” He let out a cry as his hips pumped up into his hand. “Holy fucking shit, did you just get your dick wet?”

He didn’t answer. Didn’t have to. Something slammed into the door—probably his head.

Then the door started moving.

Geoffrey’s eyes rolled back into his head and he had to grab the base of his cock hard to stop from coming. He didn’t want this to be over yet. Maybe ever. He raked his mind for something, anything to say to keep this going because his toes had curled in his shoes and it was all he could do not to wrench the door open and jump the big guy. “What—what kind of lover are you?” He panted the words.

Sven grunted again as the door rattled more. “Geoffrey, I can barely think. Shit.”

“Come on. One adjective that someone’s given you. Just one.”

“Thorough.”

Geoffrey moaned.

“You?”

It sounded like Sven was really having trouble talking. “Limber.”

The door moved faster.

“We are going to fuck, aren’t we?” He squeezed and stroked himself, wishing it was Sven’s hand on him. “You know you’re gonna give in.” Geoffrey didn’t have to ask again. It was going to happen. He pictured Sven, big hand wrapped around his dick and moaned again.

“You know what I want, Geoffrey? I want to see you stretched around my cock.”

Geoffrey went so hot, so fast, sweat broke out over his entire body. There was no holding back the orgasm that stole his vision and slammed through his body like lightning. “Oh, fuck!” he cried out, loud and long.

Sven shouted more words he couldn’t make out as one more thud hit the door. Geoffrey pictured him spilling all over his hand, making those last strokes slick and warm. He shuddered and shook, slumping over onto his side to try and catch his breath.

His quiet, gentle giant came loud.

Fuck, I love that.