Chapter Fifteen
Harmony had no idea one person could experience such happiness. For two weeks they worked by day and made love by night. The snow had melted enough to allow the horses to nibble wet grass, but Buck was worried about the animals. He’d asked Hank to leave Indian and one of the other horses, thinking that he’d soon be going into Cripple Creek to marry Harmony. But his wound and her fears had prevented that. He knew that the horses must be taken into the valley where there was more to eat.
But like Harmony, he hoped the animals could find enough grass for a while, for he didn’t want to leave this place where they had found so much happiness and love. This was their little world, and doubts or not, Harmony Jones had admitted that she loved him, and he had had her in his arms every night. That was enough for now. If she wanted to keep working the claim awhile longer, he’d work it with her.
When he began digging near the high rock behind the cabin, he found a few large stones that were rich with specks of gold which could be pried from them with a knife. Harmony began spending the days separating the gold from the rocks while Buck shoveled deeper and farther. He intended to set off some dynamite at the base of the rocky hill behind the house and then start tunneling inward. If Harmony Jones was determined to see what was here, he’d help her. The sooner they found out the better, for he wanted to prove or disprove the claim, then get her to town to marry her. This would be a bonanza or a washout. He almost hoped for the latter. He wanted her to forget about the gold and the claim, to marry him and settle down. But her tenseness every time he suggested she do that told him to be careful.
Still, he could see the love and trust growing in her eyes every day, and it felt good to allow himself to love and trust in return. He never thought he could love anyone this much, not after Mary Beth. But Harmony Jones was everything a man could want—young and beautiful, intelligent, hard-working, level-headed—and in bed he’d never known such ecstasy. Her innocent eagerness and curiosity excited him. She was clay in his hands, to be molded as he wanted. He enjoyed teaching her things, and he experienced great pleasure each time he broke through that little wall of resistance she still put up whenever they started to make love. He liked to release all the passion and sweetness that was stored up inside this young woman who was so full of hurt and bad memories. He was determined that his love for her would eventually overwhelm her fear and hesitation, for she often woke up shaking and crying, saying nothing, only clinging to him. There was nothing he could do at those times but hold her tightly and reassure her of his love.
A fierce storm hit on the first of February, just before Buck was about to do some experimenting with the dynamite. The cabin was literally buried in snow, and Buck had no choice but to untie the two horses and whack them, hoping they would have sense enough to head downward until they reached the valley where they could find food. Harmony stood beside him at the top of the cabin steps, which they had had to dig out, and they watched the two animals struggle through the deep snow, their hunger forcing them to head for warmer places. In the valley the snow would disappear quickly—it usually did in this part of Colorado—but at the elevation of Harmony’s cabin, it would be around for a while.
“Do you think they’ll make it, Buck?”
He watched Indian with concern. “I hope so. I don’t like to see horses suffer. I should have taken them down a long time ago, I guess.” He put an arm around her shoulders. “But for some reason I just couldn’t seem to get away.” He looked down at her, and she blushed. He loved to see her blush, in spite of all their intimate moments. “Looks like we’re really stuck here for a while now, Shortcake.”
“Do you mind?” she asked seriously.
He grinned. “What do you think?” He bent down and kissed her lightly. “Fact is, I can think of a damned good way to keep warm and pass the time as long as the snow is too deep for anything else.”
She smiled and pulled him back inside. “Do you think you’ll find Indian again?” she asked, as he closed and bolted the door.
“I’ll sure as hell try. I wouldn’t be surprised if Indian found me instead. I think we’ll get together. He’s a damned good horse. I hated turning him loose like that, but I’d rather lose him than have him die of hunger. I couldn’t live with that.”
He removed his jacket and walked over to stoke up the fire in the stove that served for both heating and cooking. A pot of stew, flavored with squirrel meat, was simmering. Harmony stirred it while Buck put more wood in the stove. After he’d closed and latched the iron door, he just watched her for a moment. Yes, she was a perfect mate. He began to untie the rawhide strip at the end of her braid, laying it aside and unwinding her thick, golden hair.
“Buck Hanner, I just fixed that braid!”
“I know. But I like it loose, and you can’t go out and work today anyway.”
She smiled and sighed. Why did a simple thing like his loosening her hair stir her? He was so manly, yet sweet and gentle though rock-hard strong and sure. It made her heart flutter to think she could actually please such a man, one who had had lots of women and who seemed to have been everywhere and done everything.
“Buck?”
“What?” He ran his fingers through her hair to smooth it out.
“Come spring, we’ll…we’ll sell the claim, for whatever we think it’s worth by then. We could use the money toward a real nice ranch and get set up. That would make it nice for you.”
His heart swelled with love. “You saying you’re ready to get married come spring?”
She sighed. “Fact is, if it wasn’t for this storm and not being able to get to the valley, I’d marry you right now. I don’t know what I was so afraid of.”
Reaching from behind her, he grasped her wrist so she stopped stirring, and he turned her, studying her green eyes. “You serious?”
She smiled softly. “I’m serious.” She rested her head against his chest. “I wish I could explain how I felt when I was little, Buck, when my folks left me in St. Louis. I’ve never forgotten how it felt and I never want to be that afraid or that alone again. That’s why it’s been so hard for me to put all my love and faith into one person. Can you understand that?”
He kissed her hair. “I’ve always understood that. Why do you think I’ve been so patient with you?”
“And the other…kids, I mean. You’ll have to help me there. I’m so afraid of children, Buck. What if I hate my own, the way my parents hated me?”
He held her close, rubbing her back. “You won’t hate your own children, Harmony. People don’t usually do what their parents did. They were very selfish. You aren’t a selfish person, and there is usually nothing stronger than a mother’s love. I guarantee if and when we have children, you’ll be amazed at how much you love them. You’ll love them even more than you love me.”
She looked up at him. “I could never love anyone more than I love you.”
He picked her up in his arms. “You’ll love our children more, and I won’t mind. You’re a sweet, wonderful girl, Harmony, full of love but just afraid to share it. Now you’re doing that, and when you have a baby, love will come flowing out of you like water from an overfilled barrel.”
He laid her on the bed and unbuttoned her shirt.
“Buck, it’s morning.”
“So? Is there a rule about the time of day people are supposed to enjoy each other?”
She smiled. “I guess not.”
“Well, with those winds howling out there, can you think of anything else to do? I’m a little tired of cards.”
He opened her shirt and bent down to kiss her breasts.
“Buck Hanner, I shouldn’t be doing these things.”
“Why not?” He pulled her to a sitting position and slipped the shirt from her shoulders and arms. “You’re going to be my wife, aren’t you? As far as I’m concerned, you already are. I made you my wife that first time I took you. I don’t need a preacher to tell me you belong to me.”
He kissed her then, a sweet, wonderful kiss that made her lose all ability to reason or object. She was putty in Buck Hanner’s arms; she knew it and she didn’t care. It was wonderful to love and be loved, wonderful to make a real decision about her life. There was no more wondering and worrying now. She would sell the claim in the spring and marry Buck; then they would ride off to find their own dream. It was much nicer to dream together than it was to dream alone.
She never tired of just lying there while he worked his magic with her. Within moments he lay beside her, her clothes off now, his own body naked and urgent, hard muscle pressing against her, commanding, demanding, the man in him ordering her to be the woman she was, yet doing so very gently. The things she allowed him to do amazed her—things she’d once thought ugly and repulsive had become beautiful and desirable. With Buck everything was different, wonderful, glorious. His lips were warm and sweet, not just against her mouth, but in other places, intimate places that belonged only to this man. It was wonderful to truly enjoy being a woman and to give this man his pleasure, and to take her own pleasure in return. Yes, this was what it was all about. This was why people fell in love and married. This was true joy and ecstasy. This was what was intended for a man and a woman in love—to be one, to give and take and give again.
They moved slowly, glorying in one another, no one to hear their passionate whispers and groans or the rhythmic movement of the homemade bed. There was only Buck—Buck and Harmony and the little cabin on the mountain. The lamp dimmed as the oil ran low, and the stew simmered, waiting to be eaten…later.
For two weeks the winter winds blew, and for two weeks Buck Hanner and Harmony Jones made love, talked, made love, played games, made love, ate, made love, counted gold, made love. They became intimate not just in body, but in spirit, understanding one another, learning to be the best of friends as well as lovers. Harmony felt so alive, so free—free of fear and sorrow, free of loneliness. She had Buck Hanner, and sometimes she wished they could stay together on the mountain forever, alone. If it were not for their desire to be legally married and their need for supplies, she would never leave this place. Often at night he caught her crying. Then she would cling to him, vowing she would never forget this place, this mountain, the things she had learned here.
Finally one night the wind stopped howling, and it was deathly still. Harmony could hear dripping, and she knew the warmth of the cabin was melting snow from the roof.
“Buck?” she said softly.
He stirred, nearly asleep. Then he stretched and pulled her closer, enjoying the feel of skin against skin, for they slept naked together. “What?” he asked sleepily.
“Will you still love me when we go back?”
He kissed her hair. “Why shouldn’t I?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. I just…maybe it will be different. Up here it’s just you and me—no problems, no one to bother us. In town, you’ll see other girls, and—”
He laughed lightly. “Harmony, don’t be silly. We know each other inside and out. Do you think my love is that shallow?”
She kissed his chest. “No. It’s just scary. I’ve been up here so long, away from people and all. It will seem strange to be around them again.”
“Well, we have to get back to real life eventually. You just remember that you and I are the same, no matter where we go or what we do. We’re still Buck and Harmony, and nothing can change our love for each other. You remember that, Shortcake. Nothing can make me stop loving you. Nothing.”
She rested her head in his shoulder. “Do you think people will talk about us, about our being up here alone this long? Will they think I’m bad?”
She felt him tense. “The first man who suggests such a thing will feel my fist in his face,” he grumbled. “You’re the woman I love and intend to marry. You’ve not done one bad thing, Harmony, and don’t ever think you have. All you’ve done is love me. You’ve been sweet and wonderful and good, and any man who tries to say otherwise will wish he hadn’t!”
She smiled, feeling protected and safe. It was a nice feeling, the only way a woman could feel in Buck Hanner’s arms.
“I’ll be eighteen next week, Buck. I guess I’m a full-fledged woman now.”
He squeezed her close and nestled into the quilts. “You’re a full-fledged woman, all right. You’ve grown a lot since you first came here, Harmony. I’m proud of you. And I did my share of waiting for you to grow, I’ll say that. I wanted you right off, you know. Fact is, the first time I saw you on that train, when I didn’t even know who you were, I wanted you. You were the prettiest little thing I ever saw, and something deep inside told me I’d see you again.”
“I felt the same way, but it scared me. When I came out here I was determined to be an independent woman, wealthy and secure, on my own. Then you had to come along.” She pushed at him teasingly. “Now my whole world revolves around you. You messed up my thinking, Buck Hanner.”
He laughed lightly and rested a hand against her breast. “And I’ve enjoyed doing it,” he answered, running his hand down over her belly.
They both lay there quietly for several minutes. “I still hate the thought of going back, Buck. I’ll never forget this place, the months I spent here, the beauty, the quiet. It was fun being alone, for a while, except that awful day the grizzly came after me, and then the day those men came. It seems every time I needed help, you were there, like God led you to me or something.”
“God did lead me to you. We’re supposed to be together.”
“I just hope it can be the same when we go back. I’ll hate leaving here. This is our place, Buck. It’s special. If we sell it, men will come up here and tear it up, blow out the side of the mountain.”
“Hush, Harmony. So what if they do? This place will always be here—in our hearts and memories. That’s all that matters. Nothing can change these last few months. Nobody can take away our memories, or our love. Whenever we want to be here, all we have to do is close our eyes and remember. Now go to sleep.”
She closed her eyes. Yes, as long as she could lie in his arms, life would always be like this, wherever they might go, whatever they might do.
The weather cleared, and enough snow melted for Buck to dynamite away portions of the cliff beside and behind the cabin. He was careful to set the explosives in such a way that the cabin would not be buried under rock slides. The first few blasts brought an avalanche of snow down from above, however, and they spent the next few days digging their way to the place where the hole had been blown.
Several times Buck repeated the process, dynamiting inward to create a tunnel in which they could work out of the wind and cold. They used a few timbers left behind by Tillis’ men to shore up the small cave they had created, and since the snow and cold were still too intense to permit them to journey down the mountain, they continued working. They decided to dig out as much gold as possible, and to get a good idea of the value of the claim before returning to Cripple Creek.
“Might as well get everything we can out of this,” Buck told her. “The more we make, the more land we can buy—and cattle and horses.”
She agreed, fully trusting him, glad to share her wealth with him, for this was the man she loved, the man who would soon be her husband. It was exciting to know she’d soon be Mrs. Buck Hanner. She liked the sound of it. It now seemed right to be a wife and mother instead of a business woman. She needed Buck, and he needed her. They should be together, should unite and create children. She felt that was God’s way.
Days turned into weeks, and the snow melted more quickly. The nights were still cold, but by the end of March the days were much warmer. Harmony was certain they’d passed the supreme test of knowing whether they could be happy together, for if they were going to get on each other’s nerves, they would know that by now.
That hadn’t happened. There had been only a few friendly arguments, always ending in sweet kisses and teasing. She wondered if any two people could be better suited for one another, and she had to laugh when she remembered the times she had argued with Buck Hanner, had been stubborn and resistant, distrustful and defensive. She was different now. That Harmony was gone.
Then came the day Buck yelled to her from inside the cave. She was beside the stream, picking gold out of rocks. She dropped her knife and ran to him. He was furiously hacking away with a pick at a sparkling vein in the rocks.
“My God, Harmony, look at this!” Chunks of sparkling rock fell to the floor of the cave, and she picked them up.
“Pyrite?” she asked carefully.
“No! It’s too soft, Harmony. I think it’s the real thing!”
Her heart pounded. “Buck, are you sure?”
“Take a look! You can make a nail print in the stuff!”
She pressed it with her thumb nail, then sat down, staring at it. “Buck, I think you’re right.”
“If I am, there’s enough here to buy up half the state of Colorado!” he muttered. “I’ll be a bigger rancher than Wade Tillis ever thought of being!”
She watched him, the old distrust nipping at her. Was that all he was really after, enough money to outdo Wade Tillis? Was he using her? No. Not Buck. Not Buck.
“Baby, we’ll be the biggest ranchers this side of the Mississippi!” he told her, still hacking away. “I’ll shove a load of this stuff into some saddlebags and find a way to get it down the mountain and have it assayed.”
Her heart tightened. “Just you? I thought we were both going back.”
“We both will go back, once I get this assayed and file the proper papers for you. This is it, Harmony, the mother lode. If I go back alone, no one will suspect anything, don’t you see? I’m just coming back to report back to Leads. If you go down, everyone will be watching you.” More chunks fell on the floor. “The minute you go into that assayer’s office, they’ll suspect, and Wade Tillis will buy up everything that surrounds your claim in ten seconds flat! This way it will be our secret. Nobody need know what we’ve discovered here. We’ll secretly buy up more claims, then hire someone with the right equipment to come up here and mine it right. Eventually we’ll sell out to a bigger mining company and take our money and settle on the finest ranch in Colorado!”
For several more minutes he hacked away, while Harmony just watched him. Why did distrust consume her so easily? This was Buck. He kept saying “we” and “our,” and he still spoke of settling on a ranch. But he was so excited. Was it because he’d hoped all along this would happen, that her claim would pay off and he’d get rich because of it? Perhaps he was just using her after all. He might have asked her to marry him because he knew she’d refuse, but asking would give him more time on the mountain with her. And he had mentioned Wade Tillis. He might have helped her in order to outdo Wade Tillis, not because he really cared about her.
Again her old fear of being unloved crept over her. Would Buck Hanner change if he got his hands on her claim? Maybe she shouldn’t marry him after all. Maybe—
“Hey,” he said, interrupting her thoughts and setting aside the pick. He knelt down beside her. “What’s wrong?”
She shrugged, her eyes tearing. “I don’t know.” She met his eyes. “You…you wouldn’t just…use me, would you, Buck?”
He frowned. “What the hell does a man have to do to make you trust him, Harmony? I believe I almost died a couple of months ago to save you from a fate worse than death.” His blue eyes were angry.
“But a man will do a lot of things if he thinks he might get rich,” she answered, a tear spilling down her cheek.
He stood up and kicked at a piece of ore. “I don’t believe you, Harmony! I thought I had you figured out, but I guess I didn’t!” He stormed out of the cave, and she ran after him, following him up the steps.
“Where are you going!” she yelled.
“Back to Cripple Creek!” he barked. “You can have your damned gold—and your independence!” he roared. “I don’t want any of it! Finish digging it yourself! I’ll walk back right now and freeze to death if I have to. But I’m going!”
Her heart filled with remorse. “No!” she screamed. Quickly she went up the remaining steps and into the cabin, where he was throwing his things into saddlebags. “Buck, I’m sorry! Don’t go!” she begged. “Not this way! I trust you! Really I do! Please don’t go!”
He cast her an angry look, his blue eyes icy. “I can’t live my life always being doubted, Harmony. I love you, but damn it, I have my pride! How can you think your gold is the only reason I’ve stayed up here! I thought we had that all straightened out! I don’t need your damned gold! I have plenty of money. I just thought the gold would make it that much easier for us, that’s all, but I’ll do fine without it!”
When he reached for his gun belt, she ran over and grabbed his arm. “Buck, wait!” She was crying now. “Please, please don’t go! I really am sorry! If you go you won’t come back! I’ll die if you don’t come back! I can’t live without you!”
He studied her eyes. Why did he love her so much? Why did he understand her fear and feel sorry for her? Suddenly she was a little girl again, and the thought of leaving her tore at his heart. He sighed, grasping her arms.
“Harmony, you’ve got to trust me to take some of the gold down and get it assayed. I’ll be back. You’ve got to believe that I’m doing it for us, not for me, for us! Why should we pass up the chance to have a good life? I can make it good for us without the gold, but the gold will make everything much easier, don’t you see? I can build you a fine house, and our children can have the best. But it’s your gold, not mine, so it’s your decision.”
“Do whatever you want! I don’t care, Buck! You’ve always been right, and you’ve never broken a promise. Just promise me that when you go down with the gold you’ll come back!”
His jaw flexed with anger. “I don’t need to promise that, Harmony. You should know by now that I’ll come back. You should know how much I love you.”
“Don’t be angry! Please don’t be angry! I get scared when you’re upset with me—scared that you’ll leave and never come back. I…I don’t want to have to wait for you…like on the docks!”
A spasm shook her body, and she sobbed. He closed his eyes and sighed, pulling her close. “It won’t be anything like that, Shortcake,” he told her, squeezing her tight.
She cried harder, relieved. When he called her Shortcake, she knew he wasn’t angry anymore. She wept against his chest, and for several minutes he just held her, his strong arms reassuring her until she finally quieted. Finally he held her a bit away from him.
“Harmony, look at me,” he told her quietly.
She raised her eyes to meet his, but his face was blurred by her tears.
“I’m saying it one more time. I love you. I don’t need your gold, so it’s up to you, what we do with that. But I love you, and I want you to be my wife, to bear my children. Do you believe that?”
She sniffed and nodded, and he bent to kiss her lightly.
“I love you,” he repeated. He kissed her again. “I love you. How many times and ways do I have to say it?”
“I believe you,” she said pleadingly.
“Then you must also trust me, Harmony. Now if you want this stuff assayed, it’s much better that I go back alone, understand? It won’t take me long. I’ll file the proper papers and then come back for you. It will look very natural if I go into town. I’m in and out of these mountains all the time; sometimes I take gold down for other miners. No one will think much about it. I’ll get things all set, then come back for you. When I do, we’ll go down to Cripple Creek and get married, and we’ll live there until all this is straightened out and we sell the mine. Then we’ll take your money and mine and we’ll go search for the prettiest piece of land in Colorado. How does that sound—thousands of acres, all ours. You said you wanted to own property and all. Now you’ll own more than you ever dreamed of. After all, it won’t be just mine if you’re my wife, right?”
She nodded, watching his eyes—so true and devoted. “Oh, Buck, I’m so sorry! I love you so much. I didn’t mean to be so stupid.”
He kissed her forehead. “I know that. Now let’s get busy. You get some sacks for the ore. I’ll take a good sample down with me so we know that much is safe. Then I’ll be back. I might even bring some other men with me, men to mine this thing while we go down and get married. That way the claim won’t be unprotected. Then we’ll just take it from there, Harmony. We mine it awhile or sell it, whichever you want. I’ll file all claims in your name and won’t have anything to do with the gold. It’s your decision.”
She wiped her eyes. “I…I’d like to do it the way you suggested. If you go back first, no one will suspect. You go, and I’ll wait for you.” She hugged him tightly. “But don’t take too long, Buck! I’ll miss you so!”
“I’ll go as fast as I can. But remember I’ll be on foot going down, so allow me extra time. And while I’m gone, you be damned careful, understand? Forget about fishing and all that. Stay close to the cabin. Spring is a dangerous time of year up here.”
She pulled away. “Oh, Buck, I don’t want it to end! I don’t want to leave here!”
He kept one arm around her waist, while he gently smoothed back her hair with his other hand. “I won’t be leaving immediately, but we have to face reality sometime, Shortcake. We have to get back to the real world, to life. And we have to start living a normal life. We can’t stay here forever. You know that.”
She closed her eyes. “I know. But it’s been so wonderful here, alone together.”
He kissed her tenderly, then held her close. “Yes, it has. But we have each other, Harmony. Wherever we go, we’ll take our love and the peace of this place with us, in our hearts.” He patted her bottom. “Come on, now. Let’s get to work. Get the bags.”
She nodded and he left her, hurrying back outside. As Harmony watched him go, she realized how empty and horrible life would be without him. It would not be easy to let him leave. It would test her ability to conquer her fear of abandonment. If he came back this time, she’d never distrust him again, never be afraid again.
For several more days they dug, picking out the best pieces of ore and filling several sacks. To their surprise and delight, Indian reappeared, and the reunion of man and horse was touching. Harmony was delighted for she knew Buck had been worried about his horse. And she was very relieved. Now he’d have an easier trip down. He could take more gold with him, and he’d get to Cripple Creek and back much faster. Still, her heart was heavy with apprehension. After having him with her for so long, she hated the thought of being without him. Her loneliness would be magnified now, but she could be here awhile longer, while it was still peaceful and just her own, before men came in to blow away the mountain.
She was tense the night before he was to leave, unable to eat, unable to think of anything but Buck Hanner going away. He sat down on the bed and removed his boots and shirt.
“Hey,” he called to her. He’d been watching her as she sat at the table, just staring at the floor. “Come over here, Shortcake.”
She walked over to him, her head hanging, and he pulled her onto his lap. “You okay?”
She shrugged. “I guess so.” She placed her arms around his neck. “Oh, Buck, I’ll miss you so!”
He patted her back. “You’ve been up here a long time—too long. I’ll be glad when I get back to take you down from here. But while I’m gone, I’ll miss the hell out of you. You can bet I’ll be back damned fast, Harmony Jones. I don’t relish spending the nights away from you.” He kissed her cheek. “You trust me to come back, don’t you? No more doubts?”
She met his eyes, so blue and loyal. “Yes.” Their eyes held, and in the next moment his mouth met hers and he was laying her back on the bed.
“This is one night we won’t sleep much,” he told her, nuzzling her neck. “If we’re going to be apart, let’s make it a night to remember.”
“Oh, Buck, it’s been so beautiful here,” she whispered. “Make love to me. Don’t stop making love to me!”
She didn’t need to ask. He moved over her, savoring every part of her, his lips lingering, teasing, carrying her to the heights of ecstasy and passion, his lovemaking made more sweet by the knowledge that he was going away. Harmony felt she had to show him her love, to make him remember, make him come back out of sheer need of her; while Buck seemed to be equally determined to be sure she did not forget him. She sensed his fierce possessiveness as he moved over her, felt a hot branding as he surged inside of her, as though to say “This woman is mine and everyone had better know it!” She thought she’d already been to the heights and depths of lovemaking, but this was the most passionate night she had spent with him and by the wee hours of the morning her body was spent and exhausted. Yet it was a sweet exhaustion, a glorious weariness.
They both slept soundly then, oversleeping, in fact, so that Buck had to rush around when they did wake up, for the sun was higher than he’d expected. He planned on covering a good many miles that first day.
Harmony felt panicky. It was all happening too fast now. He was going! How she hated moments like this! They frightened her! He dressed and ate quickly, packed, saddled Indian, and was ready to go. She could do nothing but watch. Finally he swept her into his arms.
“Stay close to the cabin, understand?”
“Yes.”
“And keep the rifle with you at all times.”
“I will.”
“No walks. No fishing. Don’t even dig or pan while I’m gone. Someone might catch you off guard, like those men did. I’ve got enough of a sample to get a good assay so there’s no sense in digging right now.”
“I’ll just keep to the cabin.”
“Good. Don’t take any chances. I’ll worry about you enough as it is. But I want to protect what’s yours, Harmony, and the best way to do that is to go back alone. I’m seen around all the time, taking other men’s samples in and all.”
“But they know you’ve been with me.”
“Yes, they do. But I saw plenty of others before I got up here, and I won’t go directly to the assayer’s office. It would arouse too much suspicion. As for my being up here this long, let them think what they want. To hell with them. I love you, Harmony Jones, and you’re going to be my wife. While I’m gone, think about what you want to do with the mine. When I get back, you’ll be registered as the owner of the bonanza and some of the land around it. What you do after that is up to you. Just promise me you’ll marry me, no matter what.”
“You know I will, Buck. I love you.”
He kissed her, over and over, both of them declaring their love. Then he could put off leaving no longer. Gently, he set her from him and mounted Indian, reaching down to tousle her hair.
“Good-bye, Shortcake,” he told her, flashing his handsome grin.
“Good-bye, Buck. Be careful!”
“You do the same. Don’t worry about me. I plan to make good time, Harmony, so don’t be surprised if I’m back in eight days or so.”
“The sooner the better.”
He backed Indian, and she thought her heart might explode when he turned the horse and rode off, turning back once to look at her.
“I love you!” he called out.
“I love you!” she called back.
He rode on then, soon disappearing into the thick pines.
“Good-bye, Buck,” she whispered. “Please come back! Please, oh please, come back!” Memories of her parents waving good-bye flashed into her mind, followed by the memory of saying good-bye to Brian. None of them had come back. Now she was saying good-bye to the most important person in her life, the person she had dared to trust with her love and devotion—and a good share of her findings.
She shook with fear of being deserted again, yet never had trusting someone been more important to her than now. She sat down on the cabin steps, while the wind moaned through the pines, a tiny girl on the side of a big mountain, her fear and loneliness knowing no bounds. She had wanted so much never to depend on anyone, but she knew that if Buck Hanner did not return she would not want to live. She would never love again, never smile again.
She looked up at an eagle flying overhead, envying the huge bird its freedom from human feelings. Then she touched her belly. She didn’t know much about having babies, but she did know when a girl went six or eight weeks without flowing, it could mean she was pregnant; and she had not had her time for at least that long. Perhaps that had something to do with being so young and a virgin and then making love so often and with such intensity. But common sense told her otherwise. Common sense told her she might be carrying Buck Hanner’s child. She hadn’t told him. For some reason she’d been afraid he’d be angry about it. There were so many things about men that she still didn’t understand. Perhaps Buck didn’t want a child right away. He had so many other plans. She’d been afraid if she told him before he left, he might be angry and wouldn’t come back. Somehow she knew deep inside he’d never be angry about such a thing, yet her old fears prevented her from taking that chance. She’d tell him later, after he came back for her, after they were married. It would be different then. Buck wouldn’t care. There was plenty of time. She couldn’t be more than two months pregnant, and he’d be back in less than two weeks. There was no sense in burdening him with the news now. The most important thing was that he came back.
The wind howled again, sounding almost like groaning voices, matching the loneliness and fear in her heart. She closed her eyes and her body moved spasmodically as she sobbed.
“Oh, God, take care of him and bring him back!” she prayed, her words carried off by the groaning wind.