As soon as the car door opened, the familiar smell of the sea hit my nostrils, causing flashbacks to assault my guarded mind.
A boy.
A girl.
The beach.
A late summer’s night.
Kissing … Something more … something big … something life changing … something that made my chest ache … something that just felt right.
Kisa took a red plaid blanket in her hands, yanking me from the memory as Serge opened the door.
“I want to show you somewhere, Raze,” she said, and I got out of the car. I closed my eyes as I heard the sound of the sea waves, as I smelled the salt in the air.
A calm washed over my body as the sea waves crashed against the shore. Hearing people’s voices in the distance, laughing and having a good time, somehow made me feel at home, for the first time ever. I tried to let myself enjoy this. I had never enjoyed … anything; too concerned with fighting, killing, training … revenge to ever let myself just be.
Tipping my head back, I sucked in a deep breath and let the muggy night air fill my lungs, only exhaling when Kisa took my hand in hers and began pulling me to the warm sand.
“I’ll wait for you here,” Serge shouted from behind us, and I glanced back to see him getting back into the car. He threw me a smile as he shut the door, and I gave him a curt nod in return.
Kisa and I didn’t talk as our feet hit the sand. We didn’t talk as she led me along the shore’s edge, only stopping so I could remove my sneakers. As soon as the grainy sand hit my bare feet, I sighed and stared out at the dark water, the moon hanging low and bright.
It made me think of the dream, the one where the boy had been making love to Kisa on the beach. My eyes darted down to Kisa staring out at the ocean too, and my heart slammed in my chest, so loud and hard I was sure she would hear it. But she just kept looking out into the night, and I just kept … remembering.
I was remembering …
They were young, very young, when they’d been together, but it had meant so much. They were nervous, too nervous, but when the boy was inside her, her pussy so tight and wet, it stole his breath.
She’d been so nervous as the boy took her on the sand, making her his, something switching inside of him as they came together, like the final piece of their souls had fixed in place and all that was left was them as one.
“It’s my favorite place on Earth,” Kisa whispered, suddenly breaking through the quiet of the night, and I stepped to the side until I was behind her, draping my arms around her shoulders and resting my chin on her head.
“You come here a lot?” I asked, seeing large boats in the distance, sailing across the horizon.
Kisa tensed up, then said quietly, “I haven’t been here in twelve years.”
I frowned in confusion, but before I could question why, she turned in my arms and took my hand. “It’s this way.”
Following her lead, I asked, “What is?”
Kisa’s beautiful face suddenly looked happy and she leaned into my side, her scent hitting my nose, keeping me calm. I didn’t like being out in public. I didn’t like open spaces. I’d been caged up too long, so long that freedom and open areas made me feel uneasy.
“Our cove.”
We walked for a while before we climbed over some rocks and, hidden away from sight, was a small blocked-off patch of sand. Kisa sniffed beside me. “It hasn’t changed at all,” she whispered and jumped off the rock down onto the sand.
Looking back, her blue eyes were bright, her long black dress clung to her fucking beautiful hourglass curves, and her long brown hair blew in the light sticky wind.
“Kisa-Anna…” I rasped out and went to jump down too, but suddenly I came to a stop as something big came back to me … something I think I’d known since the night I’d saved her. I just didn’t know how to actually feel, how to let it in, until now.
My eyes widened as I stared at my woman. “I had her…” I said under my breath and only to myself, memories of us together flooding my mind. “I had her. She was mine…” I repeated, as I thought of us on this beach, in this cove, in Serge’s car, on the pier.
I stretched up my neck and glanced over the rocks to see a long pier shining with lights, and my heart boomed like a crash of thunder in a thunderstorm.
Kisa laid out the blanket on a patch of sand nearest the rocks, and I leapt down beside her. Within seconds, I had lifted her into my arms. Her surprised blue eyes met mine as her hands gripped onto my biceps.
My eyes bored into hers, and I said breathlessly, “I had you. I had you since the day you were born. I asked your mama for you and she said yes.”
Kisa’s face filled with a gamut of emotions: happiness, sorrow, and … hope? I didn’t know, but she nodded and her eyes misted over, moisture threatening to fall.
Dropping to my knees, the memories so strong I couldn’t stand any longer, I laid Kisa on the blanket and hovered over her. Warmth filled my chest like the sun had moved its home inside of me. I’d only ever felt cold before. The cell was cold. Killing was cold … I was always cold, but right now, I was warm … I felt alive. No longer dead inside.
I gazed into her eyes and saw only happiness in her stare.
“Raze…” she murmured, stroking through the strands of my hair, but I couldn’t speak.
We’d always been together. Her and me, from birth, we were always together.
Urging Kisa’s hand from my hair, I threaded my fingers through hers and studied her slim fingers, the nails painted pink, through my cut and scarred hands, marks from years of fighting, my knuckledusters marring the skin …
* * *
As we sat on the sofa, Kisa pulled out a book to read, and I watched her eyes racing along the sentences, an excited smile on her lips.
“How long do you think our fathers will be in there?” I asked, wanting her to look at me, to pay me attention, not the damn book.
Kisa glanced at me over the page and shrugged. “Don’t know. Papa always takes a long time when he’s doing business.”
I nodded but never took my eyes from her face. Kisa dropped her head and blushed. I was nine now, she was eight, and I couldn’t stop staring at her face every time I saw her. She was so pretty.
Kisa began reading again, and I shuffled closer to her until our arms brushed. She glanced sideward at me and started chewing on her lip.
I tried to sit back against the couch, but I couldn’t stop watching Kisa-Anna. My hand started to twitch and I wanted to reach out and touch her. She was my best friend, and best friends should touch, I thought.
Without thinking it through, I reached out and took her hand in mine, wrapping our fingers around each other’s.
Kisa gasped and said, “Luka, what are you doing?”
I shrugged. “Holding your hand.”
“Why?” Kisa whispered, staring at my thumb stroking her skin. She was so soft.
“Because I have to,” I answered honestly, and she seemed to stop breathing for several minutes before exhaling, her long eyelashes fluttering when she looked at me.
“Okay,” she whispered, and something warm spread in my chest and down to my stomach. “I … I like it.”
I smiled and Kisa blushed again. “Me too. I’m going to hold your hand all the time now. I’m never going to let go.”
“I don’t ever want you to,” she said shyly, and I pulled her to rest back against the couch, her side tucked next to mine, our hands still fused together.
“Read to me,” I said and closed my eyes.
Kisa took a deep breath and started her story from the beginning.
“They were always meant to be together, one boy and one girl, two hearts split into two, sent to far-off lands on their own. For God wanted to see if true love could be tested. He wanted to see if two halves of one soul could find each other again, even against the odds. Years would pass, they would both be hurt, they would both be sad, but one day, when they least expected it, they would stumble into each other’s paths. The question is: would they recognize each other’s soul? Would they find their way back to love…?”
* * *
“We would hold hands,” I said, my vision snapping back into focus, almost like I had no control of the memories rushing into my mind like a waterfall. “You would read to me. I would hold your hand and you would read to me.”
Kisa nodded frantically and tears slipped out of the sides of her eyes onto the blanket. Her left hand raked through my hair, and my eyes squeezed shut, more images almost drowning me …
“I love your hair, Luka … It looks like gold and feels like silk,” Kisa’s young self had said as I lay on the grass in a park.
“Mmm … don’t stop. I love it when you play with my hair.”
I gasped at the images in my head, and concentrated on feeling her hand in mine. “You would stroke my hair in the park,” I said, my voice increasing in both volume and speed as more memories came racing back.
“Yes.” Kisa sobbed, her bottom lip trembling, but her blue eyes shone like she wanted more and more. “Yes, I would.”
* * *
“Kisa, quickly, follow me. Father Kruschev isn’t looking!” I took Kisa’s hand and we ran out of the church onto the steps, where I pulled Kisa to my lap and pulled her in for a kiss.
“Mmm … Luka.” Kisa moaned and gripped the collar of my shirt.
“I fucking hate church, it’s boring,” I whispered against her mouth, and Kisa pulled away, laughing at my confession.
“You can’t say that! God is watching!” Kisa hissed, and I tucked my head into her neck, just breathing her in.
“Nah, he’s already given me you. He obviously loves me enough to give me a free pass to sneak out of the service and kiss my girl.”
Kisa pulled me to face her, and I could see how much I meant to her in that one look. “Luka…” She trailed off and pushed her lips against mine. “Then he loves me enough too, because he knew I could only ever want you.”
* * *
“Church,” I choked out, my straining arms holding me above Kisa, now beginning to shake. “Us on the steps.”
“Yes! Yes, Raze! More, please remember more,” Kisa begged, and I closed my eyes again …
* * *
“Luka…” Kisa whispered, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Kisa,” I said back, then looked at her wet lips. I blurted, “I want to kiss you now.”
“But I’ve … I’ve never been kissed before,” Kisa said, blushing, and I lost my breath at how beautiful she was, giving her a smile.
“Me neither.”
Shock spread on her face. “You haven’t?”
“Who else would I have kissed?” I said, pissed that she’d think any other girl would ever matter to me.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. You have a lot of girls at church following you around.”
I laughed and shook my head. Squeezing her shoulders, I leaned down and rasped, “But none of them are you.” I pointed to my left eye, the one that had a smudge of blue in the iris. “We match. Why would I want anyone else? There was only one girl made for me.”
* * *
“We kissed,” I recollected and looking down, ran my hand through the sand. “Here,” I said in shock. “We had our first kiss here, on this spot.”
Kisa’s happy laugh mixed with her crying and she pulled me to her lips, her mouth wet and salty with her tears. Her hands were tight in my hair, and I cupped her face, not wanting to let her go, as her thighs wrapped around my waist.
Retracting her lips an inch from mine, she asked, “What else, Raze? What else did we do here? Can you … can you remember? Please … let yourself remember…”
* * *
Dipping my head, I pressed my lips against hers and she moaned into my mouth, her hand lifting to slip around the back of my neck.
The kiss grew deeper, and I broke away to shift Kisa down to the sand. I crawled on top of her, feeling her warm body underneath mine.
It didn’t take long to lose control, and I broke from the Kisa’s mouth on a gasp. Her lips were swollen and her hands gripped my neck, trying to pull me back down.
“Kisa-Anna,” I said and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. “We have to stop. I can’t … We can’t … I need to stop…”
Her blue eyes dropped and she turned her head to the side, staring at the moon. I lowered my head to her shoulder, trying to get myself under control, breathing through the tingling in my stomach.
Kisa’s hands rested on my cheeks and she pushed on my face until I lifted my head and stared into her eyes. “Luka,” she whispered, “I want to do this with you.”
My eyes widened and my heart beat hard in my chest. “Kisa, are … are you sure?”
Kisa nodded shyly. “Can I have you?” she asked.
Feeling like my heart exploded in my chest, I said, “Yes,” and I pressed my lips back to hers.
Later that night, Kisa lay in my warm arms, and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her face. “I love you, Kisa,” I confessed, and she turned to me and dipped her eyes, overcome with a sudden rush of shyness.
“I love you too. I’m glad you were my first.”
“And last,” I promised and wrapped her tighter in my arms, both naked under the modest cover of my sweatshirt.
“I can’t imagine ever sharing this with anyone else … ever…” Kisa said on a sigh.
I couldn’t have agreed more.
* * *
A pained groan slipped from my mouth and my stomach clenched, my cock hardening as Kisa lay underneath me, her nipples beginning to poke through her dress. I lowered my mouth and licked along the bud over the material, my hips grinding against her hot pussy as she arched under my touch.
“Raze…” Kisa murmured, and I reached for the bottom of her dress and pulled it up her legs to her waist. Her panties were small and black, and a possessive growl fled my lips as I bent forward and licked along their seams, inhaling that musky smell that I was addicted to.
The need to taste her took control of me and in seconds, Kisa’s panties were scattered on the sand behind us. Her cunt came into view, only a small patch of hair on her mound and her lips drenched wet.
Reaching out, I ran my fingertip down her slit, and Kisa’s hips bucked and, closing her eyes, she released a long moan. Sitting up, I ripped off my sweatshirt, suddenly too hot. Kisa watched my every move, her blue eyes shining with need.
My cock throbbed, a steel pole, but when Kisa let her legs drop apart even farther and she palmed her tits, I leaned forward and, running my lips over the inside of her thigh, followed my instinct and swiped along her slit with my tongue.
As soon as the salty taste filled my mouth, I needed more. I began lapping, drinking her in. Kisa’s hands ripped at the strands of my hair. This only made me lose it more. Using my strength, I placed my hands on her inner thighs and pushed them apart as far as they would go, opening her wide to take her however I wanted.
Kisa’s hand slipped from my grasp and landed on her pussy, and I watched with held breath as she touched herself. Pre-cum dripped from the tip of my cock and my balls ached with the need to mark my woman, to have her again … but this time knowing who we were to each other, who she was to me.
Kisa’s fingers began stroking at her swollen clit, and my nostrils flared watching her mouth drop open and her tongue lick along her bottom lip.
“Touch me, here, Raze. Lick me. Suck me here on my clit. Make me come in your mouth.”
My heart pounded so hard at her words that I thought it would rip from my chest. I leaned forward, lowering my mouth, knocking her hand out of the way so I could do as she asked.
It was the first time I’d ever tasted pussy. Her scent drove me forward. Using my thumbs to spread her lips, I circled the tip of my tongue over her clit. Kisa moaned and jerked as soon as it made contact. My tongue became frenzied, licking her clit over and over, and Kisa’s legs began to shake, her nails clawing at my bare shoulders.
“Raze … lyubov moya … that feels … that feels … Ahh!”
Kisa screamed as my lips wrapped around her clit, sucking and my finger pushed inside her dripping hole, pumping back and forth.
My senses were going crazy. The musk of her pussy, the taste of her juices, the wet feel of her channel, and the noises slipping from her mouth. Sucking even harder and pushing a second finger inside her, Kisa stiffened and, digging her nails into my skin so hard I knew she’d drawn blood, Kisa came hard, screaming into the quiet night. Slowing my movements and removing my fingers from her slit, I traced over her lips with my tongue as Kisa panted and began stroking at my hair.
Lifting my head, I crawled over Kisa’s spent, beautiful body and I took in her hooded eyes and flushed face.
She stared into my eyes and ran the back of her hand down my cheek. “Did you remember, lyubov moya? Do you remember anything else?”
Closing my eyes, licking along my lips, I opened them again, only to nod and reach down, freeing my cock from my sweatpants. I was so fucking hard, and I needed to be inside Kisa. Needed to hear her call my name.
Crawling back over her body, I pulled the straps of her dress off her shoulders, her tits coming into view, her pink nipples hard and waiting for my mouth. Bending down, I sucked the right into my mouth, palming the flesh in my hand, only to reluctantly release it to do the same to the left.
“Lyubov moya, I need you inside me,” Kisa moaned, moving her hand to wrap around my cock and began stroking it back and forth. Lurching back onto my heels, I threw my head back and hissed through my teeth. My balls were tight as she worked me over and over, but when I felt a wet lick lap at the tip of my cock, my eyes snapped open and every muscle in my body tensed.
A low growl rumbled in my chest as I looked down to see Kisa on all fours, her tight ass in the air and her full lips wrapped around my dick.
“Kisa…” I groaned, my voice low and graveled. “Fuck, that feels good…”
Kisa moaned, her back arched, and she moved her head forward, taking as much of my dick into her hot mouth as she could, the tip hitting the back of her throat. Warmth started building at my knees and traveled up my thighs, and I knew if Kisa kept eating at my dick, I was going to come.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I fought back the need to have my woman swallowing my cum and managed to push her head away, her full lips red and glistening and those blue eyes bright as she looked up at me with the most beautiful expression on her face.
Unable to speak, I pushed her back until she was flat on the blanket, and I closed my eyes, clearly seeing myself in this position years ago, feeling nervous and inexperienced but felt so connected to Kisa below me that my arms were shaking as I entered her, as I broke through her virginity.
“Baby, look at me. Keep those eyes open as you make love to me. There’s no more bad, only good between us,” Kisa whispered, and I did as she asked, using my arm strength to hover over her small trim body and my thighs to push between her legs until the tip of my cock hit her hot slit.
Kisa’s hands stroked over every inch of my back, my taut arms, my neck, traps, and through my hair. Her touch almost undid me, and as I looked down at her, everything seemed to slot into place. This was my woman, my Kisa-Anna, the other half of my soul.
Lowering myself until I was propped on my elbows, I ran my nose up her cheek inhaling her scent and moved down into her hair, my mouth stopping at her ear.
“I remember taking you here on this beach. I remember it being our first time. We were kids, maybe teens? I don’t know. But I sneaked you out of your house and brought you here, to our cove. We kissed, and it turned into more … Then you asked if you could have me…” Kisa’s face was drowning in tears, and I tipped my head to the side, wiping her cheeks with my hand. “And I said yes.”
“Raze,” she cried, and her breath hitched.
Feeling like something wasn’t right, I froze.
Kisa’s expression changed from happy to worried. “Raze? What’s wrong?”
As she spoke my name, I knew that was it.
Raze … Raze, Raze, Raze …
Kisa’s hand raked through my hair. “Raze,” she murmured again, and I suddenly gripped her wrists, keeping her still, her blue eyes widening in shock. “Raze, what—”
“No!” I said through gritted teeth. “Don’t call me that!”
Kisa’s face lost color. “Why?”
Why?
Why?
“Be-because it’s not my name. I’m not prisoner 818. I’m not … I’m not Raze…” My chest constricted like I couldn’t breathe, and I let go of Kisa’s wrist to rub at my sternum.
“Ra—” Kisa stopped herself and stilled my hand with her own, then brought it to her lips to kiss. “Why were you called that?”
I stared toward the sea and my eyes lost focus, too lost in the memory. “The better I got at fighting”—I huffed a humorless laugh—”at killing, I couldn’t be stopped. I just got better and better, and the bigger and faster the opponent they brought to face me, the more vicious I became. With the blades on my knuckledusters, I’m unstoppable. The guards joked that I’d raze my opponents. Word spread and then the warden forced the tattoo on my back to please the crowd, who would chant it as I entered the cage.”
I blinked until my vision slipped back in place. Then I looked to my Kisa again. “So hearing that word doesn’t sound right from your lips. You don’t treat me like the guards did, like those men did.”
“No, and I never will … You’ve been wronged, but no more, baby.”
Folding my arms above Kisa’s head, keeping her close, I said, “I want you to call me by my name … my real name.”
Kisa’s expression finally changed from worry to understanding, and with tears once again filling her eyes, she nodded.
“You … you want me to call you … Luka,” she whispered knowingly, and hearing that name slip from her lips as I held her in my arms just about undid me.
My cock hardened even more, but it wasn’t enough.
“Say it again,” I demanded roughly, and Kisa swallowed hard, her legs widening, her thighs tightening around my waist, and she drew my cock in toward her pussy.
As my tip pushed through the entrance, Kisa’s hands wrapped around my neck and she lowered my ear to her mouth. Both of us groaning, I sank in my dick inch by inch.
Kisa stilled me with a squeeze of her thighs. Her warm breath blew past my ear. “Luka,” she moaned, “make love to me … my Luka.”
Like a door had been opened, I roared out loud and used all my strength to push forward, slamming into Kisa until I filled her completely, until she screamed my name. Luka. Until she screamed it over and over again.
Luka, Luka, Luka …
This time as I made her mine, there was no thinking, just feeling. For the first time ever I was actually feeling things. My throat choking with the amount of things I was feeling. I’d blocked out everything for so long, been numb for so long, that I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I focused on being inside my woman, on the moans and whimpers pouring from her mouth as I pressed against her swollen clit, as my cock brushed against that spot inside her that made her go crazy.
Her hard nipples brushed against my damp chest, and every time I pushed forward, Kisa gasped at the friction, at the feeling of my dick filling her, telling her who she belonged to.
“Luka, my Luka,” she moaned into my ear, and every syllable from her mouth drove me further and further, made my hips thrust faster and faster. “You came back to me…”
“Kisa,” I said in a tight voice, feeling my balls tighten almost to the point of pain. “I’m going to come, solnyshko…”
Her fingernails dug into my shoulders and her breathing stuttered. “Close … so close, Luka … Fuck me harder … harder, Luka, harder!”
With every bit of strength I had and with all the power I could draw into my thighs, I rammed forward, my skin slapping against Kisa’s pussy, the sound of us joined together like this pushing me over the edge.
My dick swelled, my mouth gaped, and hearing Kisa shrill out her orgasm, I reached forward and sank my hands in the warm sand beneath Kisa’s head and filled her with my cum as her cunt strangled my dick.
My forehead fell on Kisa’s mussed up hair.
I was catching my breath, minute by minute, trying to cope with this new beat to my heart, when Kisa whispered, “I love you, Luka. In all these years without you, I never stopped.”
Every fiber of my body froze.
“Love?” I asked, frowning. “What … what is that?”
Kisa’s thighs loosened around my waist and she pushed on my chest until I looked into her eyes. “Love, lyubov moya. You don’t remember what that is?” Her voice sounded sad, like I’d hurt her somehow.
I didn’t want to hurt her. The thought of hurting her, hurt me.
I dropped my head in embarrassment. “No … I don’t really understand what it means. I’ve heard of the word, but it has no meaning to me.”
Kisa reached back and took my hand, bringing it to lie over her chest, her heart thudding against my palm. My heart started thudding too.
“Love is an emotion, Luka. It’s shared between two people. Two people who can’t stop thinking about each other. Two people who think of each other every single day, every second, day and night. Two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together.” She paused to press her lips to mine, then pulled back. “Two people who make love, just like we did now, and know their souls belong to each other, and only each other.”
A tear ran down Kisa’s cheek, and leaning forward, I kissed it. Pulling back, I tilted my head to the side to stare at Kisa’s beautiful face.
“Then I … then I love you?”
Kisa stayed still for a moment, then surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face in my chest. “I hope you do, Luka. I pray you still love me too.” And I felt the wetness from her eyes on my skin.
I clutched her to my chest and rolled us to the side so I could stare at her face. I didn’t think I’d ever get sick of her face. Kisa sniffed but fought to pull a nervous smile on her face.
I laid my head on my bicep and pointed to my chest. “So this … ache I’ve had in my chest since I saw you is … love? When I see you in my dreams, and want you, it is because I love you?”
“Luka … Is that true?” she whispered, hope in her quiet voice.
I nodded, and she hooked her forefinger around mine. I looked at our fingers joined together and, for some reason, couldn’t look away.
“I have always loved you, Luka, and always dreamed you’d come back to me. I knew it was impossible, but I always prayed you, somehow, miraculously would.”
“My…” I cleared my throat, trying to put into words what was stuck there.
Kisa held her breath and our entwined fingers tightened.
“My … Something within me, here,” I pointed to my heart. “Here.” I pointed to my stomach. “And here.” I pointed to my mind. “Tells me I should have you. That you should belong to me. That you do belong to me, and that I belong to you.”
“And there,” Kisa said, pointing to my eye.
“Here?” I said, pointing at my eye too.
Kisa nodded and smiled. “That smudge of blue in your eye, says you always have.”
My pulse began to race and for once, my blood felt like it was pumping through my veins, not lying stagnant, finally bringing me back to life.
“Why, Kisa?” I asked. “Why is it like this between us?”
Kisa dipped her eyes, not saying anything for a while, but then she smiled shyly and murmured, “Whatever our souls are made of—”
“His and mine are the same.” I finished off, the words coming from some locked-away memory in my mind. My eyebrows pulled down, and I watched happiness flood Kisa’s face. “What … what is that? Why do I know it?”
“It’s Wuthering Heights, a book I used to read to you before you were taken away. It’s a line from that, one my mama used to say applied to us. We used to like it.”
“Where is your mama?”
Kisa sighed a shaky sigh and her eyes glistened. “She died, Luka. She died when I was fifteen.”
Death. It was everywhere.
Neither of us said anything for a while, but as the night drew on, I pulled Kisa to my chest. “Kisa?” I said.
“Mmm?” she murmured sleepily against my chest.
“I will kill Durov tomorrow night.”
Kisa stiffened, and I held my breath. She never talked about how she felt about him, just told me he couldn’t live without her and he needed her. But I needed her too, and the difference between Alik and me was that she needed me by her side, keeping her safe.
“I know,” Kisa finally whispered back, but I could hear the pain in her voice. A flashback from when I was a kid suddenly came to me, and my body jerked upright, Kisa falling to the sand.
I gripped my temples as the memory came quick, the pain piercing my skull almost too strong to endure …
* * *
“You killed him, Alik!” I shouted, covered in my best friend’s blood as Rodion turned cold in my arms.
Alik held out the knife he’d stabbed him with, his eyes were wild and a crazy smile spread on his lips.
“No, Luka, I didn’t kill him.” I watched as Alik drove the knife into his own stomach and he dropped to the floor. “You did! You argued. You fought, and you pulled out a knife and killed him.”
“What … what the fuck are you talking about? You’re insane!” I shouted, but Alik was already screaming for help.
“He’s gone,” Alik said, looking to me and gripped his stomach. His blood poured out as he pointed to Rodion’s body. “The Volkov heir’s no more. I did just what my papa commanded. Now, one day, I’ll be the Pakhan. Rodion was too weak to lead, too nice. Me, I was born to be ruthless, to kill anyone in my way.”
My blood turned to ice when I heard he’d killed Rodion for power. His father had ordered him dead so his son would be next in line.
Jesus Christ!
“And me?” I whispered, numbly. “Why the fuck are you setting me up?”
Footsteps approached and our fathers’ voices called our names. Alik shouted back, flopping back onto the ground, but not before he smiled at me and said, “Because I needed someone to blame and I want what you have.”
I shook my head in confusion. “What—”
“She was always meant for me, not you. I need her. She’s the only one who calms me down. She’s the only one who stops the voices in my head that tell me to hurt people. And her being obsessed with you is getting in the way of making her mine.”
I stumbled back as what he said registered in my mind.
Kisa.
He killed Rodion for power and was framing me for … Kisa? Before I knew it, I was on top of him, ignoring the blood pouring from his stomach, punching at his face.
“You won’t hurt her, you sick fuck! You’ll leave her alone! You’re insane! You should be locked up!”
Alik smiled at me as I beat his face, like he wasn’t feeling the blows. I stilled in shock and he slipped the dagger in my hand.
A man came bursting through the trees, and seeing his son dead on the ground, he dropped to his knees. All I could do was watch as he tried to bring him back to life, then scream into the air when the CPR didn’t work.
Another man came through next.
The men saw me on Alik, my fists coated with blood, my mouth tight with anger. I got to my feet and stumbled back until my ass hit the ground. My legs wouldn’t move as I took in the scene. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t speak to explain … my best friend was dead.
One of the men rushed forward and ran to Alik on the ground, then I noticed the men’s eyes slam to me, then to my side.
Turning my head slowly, I glanced down at what they were all staring at and saw the bloodied dagger under my splayed hand.
I opened my mouth to try and explain what happened, but just as I did, Rodion’s papa got to his feet, blood covering his coat, the move pulling my attention.
“Luka, what have you done?”
* * *
“Luka! Luka!” Kisa’s panicked voice cut into the night. “Breathe, breathe … You’re not breathing. Try and calm down.”
I focused on Kisa’s face, on her hand stroking back my hair. Finally able to move, I lifted my hand and took hers in mine.
“What is it, lyubov moya? What did you remember?” Kisa asked, and I could hear the nerves in her voice. “You’re scaring me.”
“D-Durov,” I stuttered out. “Durov killed Rodion, stabbed himself, then pinned all the blame on me.”