I’ve never been in a house like this. It’s easily the most gorgeous home I’ve ever seen, but it doesn’t seem lived in. He has one of those refrigerators with the clear glass doors, so you can see everything inside, but there’s nothing in there except a few bottles of white wine and a clear glass jug of some clear liquid. He doesn’t have milk and eggs, juice, everything you’d normally have in your refrigerator.

But the house is gorgeous. And I almost feel at home here.

I laugh to myself and shake my head. Home? That’s a funny word right now.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to Dad, and I don’t know where my home will be after I find out. We live together in a nice house that’s fully paid off, which my mom’s parents bought when they moved out here from New Jersey so very many years ago. I don’t know what’s going to happen if I have to live alone, though. I’ve been trying to push it out of my head.

A wave of heat nearly overtakes me as my heart speeds up. I grab onto the wall, grasping at nothing to make myself steady. I can’t lose Dad. I just saw him, and he looked so peaceful. I even felt peaceful next to him. I should have stayed there, with Sean. We could have stayed in that room forever, witnessing a thousand sunrises and sunsets through the window over the hospital bed, and Dad would have been okay.

But we couldn’t stay there forever. Sean had to take me away. He’s taken me away over and over. He’s helped me, but I don’t know if it’s a curse in disguise or a blessing in disguise. He told me he’d keep me here temporarily, and then I had to be gone. Gone forever, destined to walk the desert alone.

I can still feel his touch on my lips. I can still taste him on my mouth. A feeling of sickness starts to overtake me.

I feel my nails grasp at the wall as I start to slide down. I have nothing to hold onto. There is nothing for me to grab. I’m slipping and I feel the floor rising up to meet me. My vision starts to go purple, with splotches of dark colors appearing before my eyes.

I slip...down, and farther down, and I start to give up. I start to allow the darkness to overtake me.

But then, I feel strength. But it’s not my own strength. It’s coming from outside of me, from someone else. Sean’s strong, muscular arm ropes beneath my body and his hand grabs my waist easily, like he’s picking up a ragdoll. I’m able to open my eyes. I start to fight, with his help. Time speeds up and I feel him take me against his body.

“Cherry, just relax. I have you. You don’t have to work so hard. Let me.”

The smell of something salty, fresh, yeasty fills my nose, making my mouth water. I close my eyes and let him take over. I don’t fight what’s inside me, I don’t fight what’s happening to my body. I can’t. I’m out of fight. I let him take over.

There’s a pause, and then I’m being lifted in the air. I open my eyes suddenly, and I see my world upside-down. I’m being carried over his shoulder. It’s like I’m a dishcloth that he’s flung over his shoulder, or an apron. Something light, something that can be wadded up and thrown aside if needed.

We enter a room as the floor changes from light wood to light, beige carpet. It’s luscious and looks new, like no one’s walked on it yet. The clanking of metal against bone china fills my ear and then I slide down his shoulder and he places me down softly on his bed. I sit, and the softness envelops me.

“You almost fainted,” he says. “You’re dehydrated. And that tight outfit is not helping you.”

He sits down next to me and flashes me a wicked smile as he guides me shoulders so I’m facing away from him. Tenderly, he unlaces me from my corset. It’s what I wore for him, so he’d like it. Maybe so he’d be distracted and wouldn’t be so hard on me. Now I don’t know if it was the right choice.

His hands are steady and tender, but there’s a strong, impatient fierceness just below the surface. I can feel it radiating off of him. He wants something. All women know that feeling, when a man won’t say what he wants, but we know it’s something. I don’t know what it is, but I can guess.

I want it too. I swallow hard, but it’s difficult to clear the lump from my throat. The aftereffects of being carried here still flood my head, the blood only starting to return to the rest of my body. I’m lightheaded and I can feel a rush from his hands as he takes the corset away from my body.

I’m not wearing my bra anymore. I’m not wearing any panties, either, but I’m getting wet from his touch. I close my eyes as his hands come down onto my shoulders and he turns me around again.

His thumb grazes against my lip. I want him to kiss me...of course I do. I’ve never felt anything like his touch before. The way he handled my body...it wasn’t the right thing to do. Maybe I shouldn’t have let him have me like that. But I begged for it, and he gave it to me. And was it a welcome distraction from the situation, or was it part of the situation? Was it fated, that he would have me, consume me, take me? God, I don’t know, but I want it to happen again. This man has some kind of power over me, and it’s not right and it’s not logical.

It just feels good.

And I haven’t felt good in a long, long time.

I part my lips slightly, feeling my brows wrinkle together. I know I don’t look pretty right now. I’m exhausted, and starving, but I thirst for him. There’s an emptiness inside me that he can only fill by making me beg for him.

His thumb comes into my mouth and I close my lips around it. I sweep my tongue lightly against the pad of his finger. I know I don’t look pretty right now, but the way he’s looking at me is making me feel sexier than I’ve ever felt before.

I don’t want this to ever stop. He’s the sexiest man I’ve ever known, and he’s the one man I cannot have. Not after all of this is over. And it has to be over, one way or another. It has to end. Sean and I can’t go on.

He puts one hand between my knees and pushes my legs open. I close my eyes, whimpering for him. The heat I can feel inside my core, between my legs, is almost too much to handle. I’m so hot and so wet for him. So ready.

I tremble at his touch. His thumb slips out from between my lips and drags down my skin to my chin. His other hand pulls away. I open my eyes and see him get up, walking away from me, to the nightstand where he’s placed a silver tray containing my meal.

I want to tell him not to stop. I want to tell him to touch me, tease me, taste me.

Please.

“You need your strength,” he says, picking the bowl up carefully. He holds it from the bottom, where it’s wrapped up in a heavy dishcloth. “Sit up, sweetheart.”

I do as he says and scoot back so my back is against a few pillows propped up against the headboard. The room is quiet and dark and lush, and there’s a window that opens up to a view of his backyard.

Sean stirs the soup carefully with the silver spoon and ladles some, scraping the bottom of the spoon against the edge of the bowl. He blows on it softly, his lips puckering up as his eyes flash to mine, and he smiles as he brings the spoon to my lips.

I part them, letting him feed me. Settling into the bed, I let my body relax. I’m still on edge around him, but I can allow myself to relax just a little bit.

“You’re going to listen to me, Cherry.” He keeps ladling spoonfuls of the hot, salty soup into my waiting mouth. The liquid spreads down my throat, into my stomach, filling me with warmth. “No one is going to come here. I would tell you not to answer the door, but no one is going to come knocking. Just don’t leave.”

I swallow thickly. He’s doing this for my own safety, I know that. But it’s hard to agree to comply when I don’t know where he’s going, what he’s doing.

“And you’ll be back for me?”

His eyes flash to mine and he responds, “yes. I’ll be back for you.”

He puts the spoon into the bowl and picks up the warm, steaming hot piece of bread from the tray, tearing it open with his strong, nimble fingers and feeding me a large bite. His eyes flash to mine and there’s a sparkle there, somewhere behind the intensity.

I chew as he watches me intently. This is like when I was sick and my dad would take care of me. I feel warm and safe, but I don’t know what the man in front of me is capable of. The outline of his gun is visible through his jacket, and when my eyes snake lower, I can see the outline of his dick through his pants.

“I know you told me not to ask many questions or offer a lot of information,” I say slowly, “but can I ask you where you’re going?”

“I told you,” he says, tearing off another bite from the roll. “I have a job to do.”

An uneasiness grasps my insides.

“Do you have to go collect money from a young girl?”

The words come out before I can realize what I’m asking. I want to know where he’s going, but I realize my words mean more than I can bear to learn.

How many times have you done this before? Rescued a girl like me...saved a girl who was in over her head? How many times have you pushed yourself, pushed someone else to their limit like you’ve pushed me? How many girls have you made beg for you, to give them something, anything, a look, a touch...how many?

How many...

“No,” he says, shaking his head. He takes the tray away from me and places it on the nightstand. “I’m not doing that anymore. I’m not doing anything where families are involved.”

“You don’t want to get involved?”

He stones his expression and looks at me intently.

“That’s what I said.”

His words hit me hard in the chest, but resonate deep inside me.

“Where are you going, then?” He stands up and leans over me, putting his hands on either side of my body. I feel small beneath him, but hungry. His lips come closer to mine, and I dodge carefully and pull away. I ask him in a small voice, “have you ever killed someone?”

“The people I deal with, they aren’t worth your breath. They aren’t worth the air you breathe, Cherry.”

That’s not a no. But he hasn’t killed me. And he won’t. He told me to trust him, and I do. I have to.

I want to trust him. I want him. More than anything, with more deepness and fury and frantic energy than I’ve ever wanted anything before. His touch isn’t enough. His cock isn’t enough.

“Why, then?” I ask. “Why do it, if it isn’t worth it to you?”

“I didn’t say it’s not worth it to me. I said it isn’t worth it to you.”

“You and I aren’t that different, are we?” My head starts to heat up with confusion. This man isn’t like the two men who I saw tracking me hungrily in the casino, even if they’re his flesh and blood. He isn’t like them at all. They looked at me with a disgusting want, with a desire that was corrupt and wrong. That’s not how he looks at me at all.

Sean isn’t happy in this life, whatever the hell that means. I know it. I can feel it on him.

“We are different, Cherry,” he says, getting up and walking away from me. He goes over to a dresser and pulls the top drawer open easily, like there’s nothing inside. Pulling something out, he takes it in his hands and smooths his hands over it, his back facing toward me. “I knew you before I met you. When I saw you, I knew you were special.”

Sean walks back over and sits down at the corner of the bed. He takes a breath and hands me a photograph.

It’s one I’ve never seen before, but I recognize the faces in it. One of them is dad’s. The other is mine. My hairs on the back of my neck prick up, and cool sweat prickles over my skin as I swallow thickly.

“Where did you get this?” I ask incredulously.

“It was your father’s. He gave it to me. He told me he wished you and I could meet one day. That maybe under different circumstances…”

I close my eyes and shake my head, cursing fate. Pure red anger rises in my chest and reaches my throat. I try to blink away my anger, push it away, but it all comes up.

“It just isn’t fair,” I choke. “It’s not fair.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

“Why do you do it?” The words are coming out faster than I can think about what I’m saying. I can’t control myself. “Why?”

“I don’t know, Cherry. I don’t fucking know.”

I’m naked, but I can’t stop myself from throwing the covers off and getting up. I feel out of control. It’s the first time I’ve allowed myself to be. It’s the first time I’ve allowed myself to question him, and to question myself, and confront how the hell I ended up here. I’ve taken the weight of all of this on myself alone, and it isn’t fair.

It isn’t fair.

“You do know!” I push myself into him and ball my fists and press my hands against his chest. I could strike him, but it wouldn’t hurt him. I could strike him with all of my might, all of my strength, and he would just laugh and pick me up with one finger and put me down again. The hot tears start streaming down my face, and they cascade down my cheeks, hot and fresh and salty tears. They flow past my lips and down to my breasts.

His hands come down around my wrists and he pulls my hands off of him, pressing them down at my sides. He grasps me hard and pulls me close and I press my face into his chest, breathing him in. My tears damped his shirt, and I feel my shoulders heave against his body.

“It’s because I like it, Cherry. I like it.”

I shut my eyes hard, and struggle against his grasp. The harder I fight, the more calm I become. His touch is soothing, but I can’t stop my tears from coming.

“No,” I cry out. “No. That’s not why. Tell me it’s because you had no other choice.”

“I chose this life, Cherry. I like it. I fucking love it.”

He holds my hands hard and wraps them around to my back, pinning them there. It surprises me; I pull my face away from his chest and look up at him, blinking through my tears.

“It’s because I love it. I chose it. I’m not a good man underneath whatever you see. You can tell yourself that I am, but I’m a piece of shit and the farther you get away from me, the better off you’ll be.”

“No. No.” My cries are now full sobs, deep inside my chest, deep inside my belly. My eyelids feel heavy and hard to keep open. Sean takes his hands off my wrists and wraps his arms around my body, pulling me close.

“It’s okay, Cherry. It’s okay.”

He sits me down on the bed and kneels before me. I curl my legs up, and I’m small next to him. He strips his jacket off, discarding it onto the floor and then pulling his shirt off of his body, his flexing muscles of corded mass grinding against the thick air between us. It’s electricity between us, firing into my body, and every molecule inside me is on fire. I can see it in his eyes, too. I can feel it in him, coming off of him as he grabs my ankles and pulls me firmly, yet gently, down the bed.

Dad wanted me to meet him...maybe under different circumstances, this could have been something else.

“You’re not a bad man, Sean.” I lick the tears off my lips, my hiccuping sobs beginning to slow. “You saved me, didn’t you?”

His mouth opens slightly and he inhales shakily, his fingers still around my ankles. His hands snake up my legs, to my knees, coming around my thighs so he’s leaning down, cupping my ass.

I’ve never been so hot, so wet for a man. So needy, so empty, so full of want. My head spins as he bends down, bringing his perfect mouth, his gorgeous lips, to my dripping wet pussy. His lips wrap around me as his tongue snakes out, drawing an excruciatingly slow circle around me, sweeping my mind into another realm.

A deep, hungry growl comes out of his mouth, vibrating against my wet skin. I close my eyes and lean back.

“No, Cherry,” he commands. “Open up your eyes. I want you to see when I slide my cock all the way into you and your pussy swallows me up. I want you to never forget the feeling I gave you. Ever.”

He spreads me open with his fingers, leaving me so open, so exposed. I’m so vulnerable for him, and raw. His lips wrap around my clit and he flicks his tongue against me so slow, so very slow, and swirls around me, making me feel it deep inside my core.

I hear his belt and pants come undone, and he quickly takes out his cock. I marvel at its size, and it makes my mouth water. I want to close my eyes, allow the rapture of his body to overtake me, but I keep my eyes open because he told me to.

“Are you ready for me, honey?”

I bite down on my lip and nod my agreement, and his hard cock gets even thicker and harder and bigger before my eyes. He strokes it a few times and I brace myself as he pushes himself straight through me, his enormous cock filling me all the way up slowly. It feels heavy and makes me feel full, and the slight twinge of pain makes it all the more delicious and wrong as he rocks against me, filling me up all the way.

“Fuck, baby. So tight. So wet and beautiful.”

He pulls my knees up together to his chest and takes both of my breasts into his hands, running his thumbs over the pebbled flesh. Taking one hand away, he traces it up to my mouth and I brush my tongue along it, whimpering when he takes it away and moaning softly as he snakes it down my body to my clit, pressing it there as he rocks himself in and out of me.

“I want you to never forget me,” he moans, grinding his thumb against my clit. Now that he’s claimed me, I don’t know how I would ever be able to forget him if I tried.

After what he’s done for me, how he’s made me feel. He put everything on the line for me. He didn’t have to. He didn’t have to save me. I never asked for it. I just never knew I needed it.

“I will never, ever forget you.” I cry out as I start to cum, his cock coaxing my pussy to become wetter and wetter for him. His cock grows and I see on his face that he’s about to cum. He looks at me with so much reverence, so much lust and want, and...something else. I can’t put my finger on it. It makes me feel so much more than just the pleasure he’s giving me. It’s hot and sweet and secret and something I want to cry out for.

He pushes into me a final time and pulls out of me, spilling his thick, full seed onto my belly. He grunts and grinds against me as he finishes in his hand, and it leaves me wanting more. More of him...more of this. I need it.

He lets himself fall onto the bed beside me, pushing his body against me, cradling me from behind. I don’t know how much more time we have together, but I know our time together is almost over.

His arms wrap around me and hold me close. I allow my eyes to fall shut.

When I wake up, he’ll be gone.