My nerves started to get the best of me when I heard the shower water turn off. I’d stripped out of all my clothes, rubbed oil all over my breasts, and perched myself on the corner of the bed while I waited for Rush. This would be my first experience having a man slide himself in and out of my cleavage, and I wasn’t quite sure what position might work best. Something told me that Rush knew exactly how he’d like it to go down since he seemed to have fantasized about doing it to me before.
He emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and looking down as he used another one to dry his hair. He froze when he glanced up and saw me. The heat in his eyes pushed out the nervousness that I felt. Rush had a way of making me feel beautiful and desired, without saying a single word.
I reached up and cupped my breasts, pushing them together. “I borrowed some of the oil that I found in your nightstand.”
He stared at me for long time. I got the feeling that he was trying to rein himself in. My eyes dropped to the bulge growing in his towel. It definitely wasn’t working. Unconsciously, I licked my lips, and when I looked up I saw he was watching me.
I nearly stopped breathing when he reached to the knot in his towel and it dropped to the floor.
Jesus.
It was long.
It was thick.
And it was gloriously hard.
The air in the room crackled as we stared at each other.
His voice was gruff. “Get in the center of the bed. Lie on your back.”
Once I was settled, he walked over to the edge of the bed and looked down at me as he fisted his cock. “I just came so hard in the shower imagining this.”
My entire body was on fire. I was more turned on just thinking about what I was about to experience than I’d ever been during any actual sexual act. Rush lifted a knee to climb onto the bed and then straddled me. I squeezed my breasts together in offering. Locking eyes, he dipped his hips down and guided his cock between my breasts.
His eyes closed as he steadied himself for a few seconds. Then he began to pump fast and furious. I squeezed as hard as I could as he slid his thick length in and out, over and over.
“Fuck. Fuck. Your tits feel so good. I’m gonna come all over you. The silky skin on your neck...your beautiful collarbone. I want to paint your entire body with my cum…mark it as mine.”
I swallowed. Jesus Christ. I loved the way he seemed so possessive of me, as if he couldn’t help himself and wanted to dominate my body in an almost animalistic way.
He opened his eyes and stared down. “Fuck…so beautiful. So, so perfect.”
Watching his orgasm take hold was one of the most magnificent things I’d ever witnessed. The tension in his face coiled as the muscles in his abs went rigid. With a groan of my name that was so sexy it had my own body close to its own release, he let go—exactly how he’d said he’d wanted to—all over my neck.
The protectiveness in Rush extended to after care. He cleaned me up with a warm towel, and then returned the favor by going down on me again. Unlike last time though, I didn’t pass out from exhaustion right after. While Rush had fallen asleep, I remained awake. My thoughts wandered from obsessing over getting my heart broken to fantasizing about what actual sex would be like with him. The latter led me to think about our conversation earlier and my monthly cycle, when I could start back on the pill.
Wasn’t I due for my period?
Would that ruin it for me if he wanted to have sex this week? It was at that moment in the middle of the night, lying in Rush’s bed, I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a normal cycle. Last month was so light and spotty, but I still assumed it was my period.
And now I’m late.
But how late?
Panic set in.
It couldn’t have been that much more than a month ago.
Was it?
Suddenly, I started to really panic. I normally marked down the first day of my cycle on my phone calendar. I needed to know. I needed to check my phone right now to see when the last time I had marked it down was.
Rush was still out like a light as I moved his arm off of me and slipped past him, making my way over to my purse on the floor.
Taking out my phone, I went straight to the calendar. I scrolled back through the days to check the last time I’d made a note about my period.
Passing over the last month and realizing there was no note entered, I started to feel my heart beating faster. It wasn’t until my finger stopped on the date of the last entry that I really started to freak out. The last time I had gotten a normal period was over two months ago.
It wouldn’t have been so concerning were it not for the fact that I’d had sex with a man prior to that time—my one-night stand from The Heights.
The following morning, I tried my best to remain calm for the remainder of my time with Rush. There was no sense in freaking out or jumping to conclusions without a concrete answer.
Rush dropped me off at my house and left me alone to allegedly write.
But there was no writing happening. I must have stared at the wall in my room for several hours.
My eyes wandered over to the sunset painting that Rush’s mom had given me. It was an image that once brought me so much joy but that now made me feel pure sadness, a reminder of all of the things I could be missing out on—an entire life of possibilities that might never be.
I’d be seeing Rush tonight again and didn’t know how I was going to face him unless I knew for certain. Yet, I just couldn’t get myself to go to the store and buy a pregnancy test.
How could I have put myself in a position where this was even a remote possibility? I’d done my best all my life to make sound decisions. That night with Harlan was one of the few times I had truly screwed up. I mean, I didn’t even know his last name or if his name was really Harlan. I couldn’t contact him if I wanted to. I had been feeling vulnerable and depressed about my career when I met him, and he’d provided a distraction, charmed the pants off of me—literally. But it was a huge mistake. To think that one mistake in judgment could possibly mean my ending up with a lifetime of responsibility was unfathomable.
I could barely take care of myself; I wasn’t ready to be a single mother.
It would break my dad’s heart.
And that scenario would surely be the end of Rush and me. He was hesitant to commit to a relationship as it was, let alone get involved with a girl carrying another man’s child—a man who’d disappeared.
Placing my head in my hands, I thought back to last night, how amazing it felt to be with Rush. I was falling so hard for him. I knew he was taking it physically slower with me than he was used to. And that made my need for him even stronger. I wanted him so badly in every way. Now, I might never get to have any part of him. Unless this result was negative, I might never experience what it would be like to truly be with Rush.
I needed to know.
I was seriously afraid that I’d have a heart attack if it were positive. Unsure if I could handle taking the test alone, I pondered whether I could trust Riley with this secret.
If it turned out she was in her room, I’d tell her. If she wasn’t, that would be my sign from above to keep this to myself.
Riley was sitting in front of her vanity, curling waves into the front of her hair when I interrupted.
She could immediately tell something was wrong from the look on my face as I stood in her doorway.
She put down her curling iron. “Did something happen?”
My tone was firm. “Riley, you need to promise me you won’t say anything to anyone.”
“What the…did Rush do something?”
“No, no. Rush is…amazing. This doesn’t have anything to do with him.” Sitting down on her bed, I got right to the point. “Do you remember the one-night stand I had with that guy from The Heights?”
“The one who gave you the wrong number. Yeah.”
“Well, I’m scared he might have left me with more than just a wrong number.”
Her eyes widened. “Do you have a disease?”
I shook my head. “No. At least, I hope not.”
“What, then?”
“I had a spotty period last month, and I’m late now.”
She covered her mouth. “Oh my God.”
My voice was trembling. “I’m scared, Riley. Really scared.”
“Does Rush know?”
“Of course not. I can’t even imagine how he’d react. This would completely blindside him. We’ve really gotten close, to the point where I think I…” I couldn’t say the words, even though I felt them deep inside my heart.
She read my mind. “You’re falling in love with him.”
Yes.
Tears started to stream down my cheeks as I nodded in silence. I was totally losing it now.
“Come here.” Riley moved over to the bed and embraced me.
“I have to find out, but I’m scared.”
She took a deep breath in then blew it out slowly. “Okay, tell you what. You stay here. Try not to panic. I’ll go to the store and buy a test. Ironically, I have to run and get condoms for my date tonight.”
I sniffled. “Alright.”
“It’s going to be interesting when the cashier rings me up for condoms and a pregnancy test.” She grinned.
“Staring at the box isn’t going to make this situation go away. There’s only one way to know,” she said.
“I know.”
Forcing myself up off the bed, I ventured into the bathroom and numbly opened the package, following the directions and peeing on the stick.
With my heart pounding, I walked back out to the bedroom where Riley was waiting and exhaled.
I sat down on the bed and she joined me.
Riley rubbed my back. “Just breathe, Gia.”
“Five minutes.” I sighed.
My phone chimed, nearly scaring the crap out of me because my nerves were so sensitized.
When I reached for it, I realized it was a text from Rush.
Rush: Remember that shower you wanted to take with me last night…but I wouldn’t let you? Yeah, I think it might have to be on tonight. I can’t stop thinking about lathering up those delicious tits but not before I slide between them again. Okay with you?
That message would have normally made me so excited about tonight. Instead, an unimaginable pain filled me. I already felt like I’d lost him somehow. It was hard to imagine not having Rush around anymore. He’d consumed every part of my life from the moment I first met him.
I guess I should write back.
Gia: I miss you already.
He had no idea that there was deeper meaning in that statement. I already missed what I knew I could potentially be losing in a matter of minutes.
It was past the time to look at the test now. The results would be there. I just couldn’t get myself to go back in the bathroom.
“You want me to check it?” she asked.
Swallowing nervously, I rubbed my palms on my thighs. “Yeah. Please.”
Riley crossed the hall and entered the bathroom. It felt like the longest thirty seconds of my life.
When she came back, her face was flush. She looked sullen.
She didn’t even have to say anything.
I knew.
My phone chimed.
Rush: You’ve fucked me up, Gia. I’m crazy for you.
His words were like a knife to the heart and couldn’t have come at a worse possible time.
Feeling numb, I closed my eyes, and Riley pulled me into a side hug. Leaning my head on her shoulder, I knew I was going to have to tell him. But I needed just one more night.
One more night where it was just Rush and me.
One more night before I inevitably lost him.