For the past half hour there’s this totally unfamiliar voice inside my head that’s been saying: “Don’t do this—you actually like this girl—don’t do this.” Every so often I try to figure out what the fuck that voice is talking about, but now that I’m kissing her I realize that a) I do actually like this girl, b) she is hotter than I thought she would be, and c) I am definitely doing this.

Her sweet lips are so gentle and receptive at first, but once my tongue starts exploring that mouth, I feel her whole body relax for a few seconds before suddenly shifting gears. She leans into me, moaning softly, grabbing onto my T-shirt with one hand and my face with the other. There’s a hunger there, something in her that’s been buried deep for a long time, something I am going to help her release.

My suspicions have been confirmed—this is a woman who hasn’t been kissed properly in a very long time. Maybe ever. The fact that she’s responding to me in this way is a bigger turn-on than I was expecting. I’m going to have to slow things down, stay in control.

When she starts sucking on my tongue I get such a rush of blood to my dick I have to pull away from her. Her long pretty eyelashes flutter and then her eyes are wide, remembering where she is, realizing what she’s doing. She releases my face and shirt and covers her mouth, turning away from me.

I don’t want her to be embarrassed. “You’re so hot, Nina,” I whisper in her ear, hand on her thigh. “You’re driving me crazy.” She really is. The way she keeps opening and closing like some flower that isn’t used to feeling the sun shine on her.

She’s blushing and shaking her head. “I’m not usually like this.”

“Maybe you should be.”

She gives me a sideways glance that makes me regret saying that. Her body language is telling me she’s closing off. So much for taking it slow. It’s going to be either stop or go-hard-and-fast-before-she-changes-her-mind with this one.

“Hey.” I tilt her chin back towards me with my fingers. “Whatever you’re like, I like it.”

She smirks and rolls her eyes.

I lean in, kissing her on her cheek, her jaw, nibbling on her lower lip then licking it.

“Nina,” I whisper. “Nina.”

“Yeah?”

My mouth hovers near her ear, I push her hair away, because I want to make sure she hears this: “I want to make you come like you’ve never come before.”

Before she can think, before she can catch her breath, I cup my hand to the back of her head, pulling her in for a deep kiss. She makes a little high-pitched sound that’s so cute. I’ve caught her off guard, but she’s mine again, for the night, I can feel it. Her body angles towards me, even though I think she’s sitting on her hands to stop herself from grabbing me. That restraint is showing me just how much she’s holding back and I want to see all of it.

I let my hand graze the hard nipples that have been pressing up against the thin bra under her white blouse, then trace my fingertip along her clavicle and down to the top button that’s just above her cleavage.

She bites my lower lip. Not hard, but not lightly either.

When I look down at her I see her smiling, her eyes lit up and looking right back at me as she keeps on kissing me.

Holy shit.

“You live around here?”

She nods.

“You wanna get out of here?”

She nods.

I make some subtle adjustments to my jeans before getting up and helping her out of the booth. She is flushed and gorgeous and we can’t get to her place fast enough. I salute Denny as we head out. He’s seen me leave this place with a fair number of ladies in times past, but even he must be able to tell that this one’s special.

I’m not even going to think about what it means that I held hands with this girl for five blocks. I am not a hand-holder. But I didn’t want to let go of her. I kept pulling her into every empty recessed storefront to kiss her, like we’re teenagers in some European movie that I’d never watch. I just couldn’t wait.

I don’t touch her while we walk up three flights of stairs. She looks back at me before putting her key into the lock. I don’t know what kind of expression I have on my face, but it makes her pause a second before turning the doorknob. As soon as we’re inside her apartment and she’s closed the door, I push her up against the nearest wall, she drops her purse and keys to the ground and sighs. I push her arms up above her head and hold her wrists. I watch her squirm as she stares at my mouth, biting her lower lip. She’s tensed-up and breathing heavy and fast, filled with anticipation, nervous and impatient and fucking beautiful.

I start kissing her neck. Her head tilts back, exposing herself to me. Her skin is so smooth and pretty and there’s just something so clean and good about her, it’s making me crazy. My hands slowly move down her arms, down the side of her to her hips and around to her ass. One hand squeezing her ass while the other makes its way up to cup her perky round breast. She makes a little surprised animal sound that’s so cute and sexy coming from her big swollen lips. Her arms are resting on top of her head, and she’s trembling. Whatever confidence she had at the bar is gone for now. I’m a stranger in her apartment and I’m guessing this is the first time she’s let a stranger do this to her. She needs me to control the situation so she doesn’t have to second-guess anything, and I am going to do just that.

“Take off your blouse.”

I squeeze her ass with both hands and watch her fumble with the buttons. When she’s finally all unbuttoned, I help her pull her top off and let it drop to the floor, kissing her hard and massaging her tits over the thin fabric of her lacy bra. She’s rocking her hips and humming and I want to do everything to her all at once, but I’m going to make this last as long as I can for both of us.

“Turn around, Nina,” I growl.

“What?”

I put my hands on her waist and turn her to face the wall, moving her hands up so she’s gripping the wall while I unbutton and unzip her jeans. Pressing myself up against her perfect ass, she pushes it back into me, I slide two fingers down into the front of her panties and she’s so slippery and wet, I let out a groan as my fingertips stroke the sides of her engorged clit. She’s holding her breath, still trembling, so I clutch her to me, slip my hand inside the bra, rubbing her breast while my other hand rubs her clit.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.”

She’s starting to relax, so much so that she reaches one hand back to grab my crotch. Alright. I slide a finger inside of her, and then another. My dick just wants to be inside that warm wetness, but it’s going to have to wait. At this angle, the way she’s pressing down on my hand, with the tightness of her jeans, it’s the friction that’s getting her off. It’s more high school than I’m used to, but she’s so into it I will keep going until she’s come on my hand if that’s what she wants.

She pushes against the wall with both of her hands, tensing and releasing.

“You like that, baby?”

“Yeah.”

“You want me to keep doing this?”

“Yeah.” Her voice is girlish but raspy.

She’s so close, she must have been on the verge ever since we started kissing. I rub harder against her clit, she arches her back and her head, gasping.

I take hold of her hair and tug at it. Just that move is enough to send her over the edge and I feel her tense up as an electric shock goes through her and then she’s undulating and making muffled high-pitched whimpering sounds as she presses her mouth against the back of her hand against the wall.

I hold my hands in place, waiting for the waves to subside. When they finally do, before slowly pulling my hand out from her soaking wet panties and jeans, I say: “Was that good?”

“Yes,” she says, shy and breathless.

“Good. That was just the beginning.” I spin her to face me, pick her up and carry her to the sofa in the living room. It looks like it’s just this front room, kitchen and a bedroom towards the back. I’ll save the bedroom for later.

When I let her down and start to pull off her jeans, she’s got this look on her face like—there’s more?

I remove her shoes and stroke the arches of her lovely feet, causing her to point her toes, and then I pull her jeans off completely. I kiss her from her ankles to her calves, tickling the backs of her knees until her legs are relaxed and spreading apart. I kiss her taut thighs while she wriggles around under me.

As soon as I lift my head up, she pushes against my shoulders so she can get hold of my shirt and pull it off over my head. Tossing it aside, she stares at my chest like it’s a prize she’s just won and runs her hands all over it, down to my abs, back up to my shoulders, around my biceps and then grabbing onto my hard, hard cock through my jeans. She draws in a sharp breath and looks up at me, rubbing her palm up the length of my erection. She licks her lips and I can’t look at her anymore or I’ll explode.

“Take off your bra.”

“You take it off,” she says, grinning.

“Yes, ma’am.” I reach around and unhook the thing, uncovering the prettiest little tits I have ever seen.

My mouth is on them in an instant, tongue swirling around her hard pink nipples and she’s already moaning and writhing around. There’s no act with this girl, she’s not trying to be some version of a porn star, she’s just giving herself to me, and I want her.

I want her.

“Vince,” she whispers. “It feels so good.”

“I bet that fucking principal never touched you like this.”

“What?” Her whole body stiffens.

I don’t realize what I’ve said until she pushes me away.

“I never told you he was a principal.”

“What?” Fuck. “You must have.”

“I didn’t.” The way she’s looking at me right now, covering herself, confused and scared, it’s killing me. “Who are you?”

I’ve been mad at myself a lot in my life, but never before have I fucked up like this at such an inopportune moment. “Fuck.” I stand up slowly so I don’t pass out, because there’s not much blood going to my head at this point.

She grabs a throw pillow and holds it in front of her chest, sitting up straight, not taking her eyes off of me.

I start to pace back and forth like a tiger in a cage. There’s no way for me to spin this now. I punch the air. “Fuck!” I gotta come clean. I suddenly stop and stand in front of her with my feet apart, hands on my hips. She is backing up into the sofa, away from me. I blew it.

“I’m Sadie’s ex. Okay? Sadie, the nanny? She was my girlfriend and on Saturday she told me it was over and that she’d been seeing this principal guy for two fucking months.”

I watch her face change as she processes what I’m saying.

“Nobody’s ever cheated on me before. I was so fucking mad, when she left my place I followed her, and she went to your guy’s place. When he came out I was across the street and I wanted to beat the shit out of him.” I start pacing again. “But I followed him, because I wanted to see what kind of guy he was, and he came here. To your place.”

I can tell she is barely absorbing what I’m saying. I know what you’re thinking. Oh. Shit.

“I waited outside, across the street, pacing around like I am now, and all of a sudden, your window opens up and all these clothes and things start flying out onto the sidewalk, and then he runs out and you’re yelling and screaming down at him.”

She’s caught up. She looks horrified. Not because of me—because I saw her. I know what you’re thinking. Oh fuck. I saw you when you think you were at your worst, but I thought you were beautiful.

I stand still again, because I want to make sure she gets this part. “You were so mad. You were as mad as I was, but you were saying all this amazing shit. You were so angry and articulate, and I thought—this person feels exactly like I do right now, but she’s using words instead of fists. I thought it was amazing. No really, it was amazing to me.”

She’s covering her mouth with her hands, her knees up to her chest.

“You were all: ‘you motherflorking piece of grit!’ Like, swearing but not swearing, and it was so funny and weird, and he was being such a worthless prick.”

She blinks slowly, but doesn’t say anything, so I continue.

“From then on, all I could think about was you…” I let that float around for a few seconds. “I didn’t want to beat the shit out of the principal anymore, which is good—for me. I don’t need that kind of trouble. All I could think about was…being with you. But you didn’t leave your apartment for two days and if you hadn’t come out tonight I would have buzzed you.”

She flinches and lowers her hands to the pillow again. “Wait, so…You’ve been watching my apartment for two days?”

“Well not all the time, obviously, I have a job and a life.”

“So you were only part-time stalking me.” She’s not teasing me, she’s trying to figure this out.

“It wasn’t stalking!”

“You followed me to the wine store?”

“Okay, it was maybe a little bit stalking, but everyone does that in New York. You see someone you’re interested in when you’re out walking, you follow her to see what’s up. That’s not stalking. That’s being a guy in New York.”

She arches her eyebrow, not sure if she agrees with me, but letting it slide. She screws up her beautiful face and says something that I am not expecting: “I don’t understand. Are you still in love with Sadie?”

“What? No! Fuck no.”

“But are you…it sounds like you still have a lot of feelings about her.”

Feelings. Yeah, I got feelings. I’m sure as shit not going to tell her about them. “The only feeling I have about her is anger!” My face is hot. I need to move. I should just go. Why am I even here? Fuck. “I can’t believe she did this! I can’t believe she cheated on me for two months with that prick and I can’t believe she fucking left us!”

I take two steps and punch the wall in front of me before I even realize I’m doing it.

She screams.

My fist is through the drywall.

“Oh shit.” I pull my fist out and look over at her. “I am so sorry.” I look back at her. She doesn’t look scared and confused like she did when I mentioned “the principal,” right now she just looks concerned. For me.

“Are you okay?”

“What? Yeah. It’s just drywall. I didn’t—I’m going to fix that tomorrow. I’m sorry—I can fix it—don’t hire somebody. I’ll come back and take care of it.”

“Sooo. This was supposed to be a revenge fuck or something?” Her eyes flicker when she says the word “fuck.”

“No. Yes. I guess at first. Yeah.”

She looks me in the eyes, then down at the floor. After a few seconds, she watches me as she stands up, keeping the pillow in front of her, and goes to the kitchen. “Stay there I’ll get something.”

She disappears into the kitchen. I fully expect her to come running out with a knife, screaming. That’s what 80% of the other women I’ve been with would do right about now.  If I were smart I’d go out the front door and never look back.

I hear the fridge door open and shut.

She comes out, holding a bag of frozen peas in front of the pillow at her chest. She walks up to me, picks up my right hand and places the icy bag on top of my knuckles.

The sting of cold makes me jerk back, but nothing’s as startling as the way she’s looking at me with such kindness and understanding, I have to look away.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next, I just know that I have never met anyone like this girl before, and if I don’t get the chance to know her more, my fist will be going through every wall I encounter from now on.