1. Hate Vlogging.
2. Hate people.
3. Hate chickens, boxes, and that foul root, garlic.
4. Avoid Rush and Nolan, thus avoiding death by fratricide.
5. Mine the ’net for ways to defuse the plague that has overtaken my body.
6. Sit in the corner and enjoy one hell of a pity party.
7. Repeat six.

I’m pregnant.

I’m pregnant.

My brothers will kill me. My father will disown me. My friends will want nothing to do with me once I begin waddling around campus like a penguin. My life as I know it is forever ruined and over. Done. My future just went up in pink and blue flames.

Seth and I stared at that stick an awful long time before I essentially thanked him for his bodily fluids and kicked him out. He looked desperately sad for me, and I really couldn’t handle that. The last thing I want or need is pity for how stupid I’ve been. I’ve made a life choice, and now I need to live with it—and him or her. The end.

A week sails by and then a few days after that until we’re right on top of Valentine’s Day. Seth has invited me out to his games, but as fun as that sounds, I’m just not up for it. Trixie goes, of course, because Rush is playing, but since the two of them still think I’m battling this wicked flu, neither has bothered to ask me to tag along. Thankfully.

I did somehow manage to fool my viewers with that bait-and-switch urine analysis, and I couldn’t be happier, but sooner or later—like, say in nine months—the truth will come out. I’m still so confused over everything that’s happened. It’s all I can do to keep my head in my books. I’m barely passing my classes as it stands. Not only is my attention span down to nil, but my nausea is downright debilitating on most days. I tried to ask a few of my professors if I could just read the books and show up for exams, and they surprisingly said it was fine as long as I had a doctor’s note. I don’t even have a doctor, and I’m pretty sure if you’re expecting a baby, a doctor is a key element in landing your future bundle into the world safely.

It’s another big game night, and the dorm is empty. Seth is playing, so he won’t be texting for a while. He’s been so sweet and attentive you’d think he were the father. Instead of sitting around and waiting for the toilet bowl to seduce me again, I snap up my purse and head to the Black Bear. If there’s one person who knows a thing or two about having a baby—or what to do about one in general, it’s Izzy. I’ve already texted and asked her to meet me there, and she said it was no problem. I’m pretty sure she thinks we’re about to discuss that makeover I promised her at the wedding, and I do plan on keeping my word. Just like I plan on keeping my word regarding that hundreds of thousands I inadvertently owe the homeless shelter down in Jepson. Wow, when I screw up, I really go big.

The walk across the street is met with a frozen breeze. Snow is still piled high all around us, and instead of mistletoe and holly strung up in all the windows, the world is now dotted with pink doily hearts. It’s not quite V-Day yet but the world won’t let you forget about it. I head into the Black Bear and exhale as the warmth wraps around me like a thick wool blanket. I spot Izzy seated at the bar and give a friendly wave. It’s empty in here, save for a few tables peppered with the odd student, but as soon as the Mustang Dome lets out, it will be filled to the brim, I’m sure.

“Hey, girl!” Izzy staggers over with her enormous belly dripping between her legs, and for the life of me I’m tempted to snag a tablecloth and use it as a net. She’s wearing a bright blue top that fans out like a bell, and underneath that it looks as if she’s miraculously squeezed into her skinny jeans. She gives me a quick hug, and I steal a moment to take in her sugary perfume. This is how I envision it would have gone if my mom hadn’t died. Lots of sugary-scented hugs, a warm smile, and a glow about her reserved just for me. “You want to take a seat at the bar?”

I glance over at the guys all huddled over the counter and grimace.

“I was sort of hoping for somewhere with a little more privacy.”

“Sure thing. I know just the place.” She leads us to the back, and we land at a table with silk banana leaves partially blocking us from the rest of the establishment.

“You look great,” I say as I take a seat across from her. She does look great, but the fact she just turned to her left to accommodate her burgeoning belly sends a shiver right through me. “Wow, you’re really—having a baby.” I blink back tears before they can give me away.

“You’re observant.” She gives a little wink as she leans in on her elbow. Her hair gleams in the light, and her skin really does glow in a supernatural way. “So what’s new with you? Are you really going to make me pee on a stick to prove this point?” She leans back, and her belly steals the spotlight once again.

“No, actually, I mean, I thought about it.” My face heats ten times hotter than a brushfire. “I mean, you could, but I guess the visual evidence speaks for itself. I think everyone out there will get the point right off the bat.”

She leans in, her eyes slit to nothing as she inspects me. “Are you ready to talk about why you really bought that test?”

My mouth falls open. A laugh gets jumbled in my throat, and then just like that, a river of tears flows from me. My body goes numb with shock, and I can’t get a word to move past that baby rattle forming in my throat.

“Oh, honey!” Izzy does her best to traverse the table, and we engage in an awkward hug. Her hard belly rubs against my arm, and I’m mildly alarmed by how much it feels like concrete. My God, she’s going to give birth to a cinder block. She flops back in her seat with tears brimming in her own eyes. “I saw that look of fear on your face.” She shakes her head with a look that pleads for me to understand she’s on my side, and I really do feel that way. “I mean, I didn’t see it live. I sort of stumbled on it the other day when I was thinking about the show. I thought I’d better take a look and see what I’m getting myself into before I waste your time. I’m not exactly photogenic at the moment.” She makes a face, looking ever so beautiful, and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“You’re perfect, Izzy. I’m the beast around here. As soon as my brothers get wind of this, I’m a dead girl, too. My father’s pride might be bent out of shape, but I’m pretty sure he’ll send a nice gift when the time comes. If the time comes.”

Her mouth falls open. “So, you’re not sure if you’re going to keep it?”

“I haven’t thought about anything really.” I jolt in my seat a moment. “I mean keeping it for myself. I’m not getting rid of it or anything. I’m pretty sure it’s happening, and I’m going to see it through come hell or well—more hell.” I drop my face in my hands a moment. “I just wish my mother was here, you know?”

“Is she on a trip?”

I fold my arms in front of me and take a deep breath. “A big one. In fact, she had to leave her body to take it. I won’t be seeing her until I give up my own ghost.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Her features contort in horror.

“No, I’m fine. It happened a long time ago. My cousin, Lex, sort of stepped in and raised us as best she could. Don’t get me wrong, I love Lex, but she’d have my head on this table and a butcher knife right over my neck if she knew.”

Her phone buzzes, and she gives it a quick glance. “Does Misty know?” Her eyes grow wide.

“Nope. And I’m going to keep it that way. She’s married to my brother. Need I say more?”

A cool breeze wafts over, and we glance up to find a petite brunette with a cute turned-up nose and a mischievous grin on her face. “What can’t I know since I’m married to your brother?”

It’s Misty.

“Great.” I lean back in my seat and stare at Izzy. “Just great.”

“What?” Misty falls in next to her, and the two of them exchange those nonverbal best friend cues—and my debacle has them both looking confused. “Will somebody please tell me what’s going on around here? Or do I have to start threatening the two of you with throwback pics that will make your hair curl on its own? And I do have them.”

Both Izzy and I cringe. I bet Misty has an entire litany of photographic evidence at how awkward I was as a pre-teen. That alone is enough to topple my cosmetics-based empire in one fell pimple-faced swoop. That or it can be a really good before picture.

Izzy takes a breath and looks to me.

“Oh, come on.” Misty thumps her red glossy nails over the table. “It can’t be that bad. The two of you look as if you stomped a litter of baby seals to death.”

Izzy bubbles with a small laugh. “That’s so random.” Her body bucks as she looks to me. “And yet sort of on point. This conversation is geared toward life.” She clears her throat. Her eyes widen at me, assuring me the beach ball belly is in my court.

The way I see it, I have two options. I confess to Misty now or I confess to Misty later.

“All right, fine.” Gone are the tears, replaced with a slightly pissy attitude. Nobody asked Misty to crash our party. If she’s disappointed in me, I can’t help her. I’m disappointed enough in myself. I look right at her, my gaze hard, bordering on cruel. “But I’ll warn you. If you tell my brother, I will never forgive you.” And sadly, I mean every word.

Her cherry red lips part, and that fun, flirty smile she wears for the world has long since dissipated. “I won’t. My God, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I swallow down any internal protest I might have in regards to spilling the maternity beans. “The baby and I are both fine.”

“Good.” She gives a few hard blinks. “Because I’m starving. Have you guys eaten?” Misty stops cold, her gaze goes catatonic. “Did you say baby?” A tiny laugh bubbles from her throat. “You mean Izzy’s baby!” She belts out a laugh, looking rather relieved, but neither Izzy nor I am laughing along with her. “Sunday? Please tell me you’re joking.” She looks to Izzy with a veiled threat on her face. “Come on, Izzy, stop. It’s not funny.”

“And that’s why we’re not laughing,” I add. “It’s true, Mis.” My chest heaves as I struggle to hold it together. “I’m knocked up.” My voice pitches, and the two of them offer an anguished coo as if I were a baby myself. And considering the fact I haven’t crested my second decade of life, I’m pretty sure I qualify in most people’s eyes. Oh my God! I’ve become a statistic!

My face collapses back in my hands as the two of them do their best to comfort me.

Eventually, Misty coaxes me back to an upright position. “Hey—no visits to Self-Pity Land,” she says it sweetly.

“Well, too bad because I kind of like it there.” I look up at the two of them and their long faces. “Self-Pity Land is the perfect place for me to be. Have I mentioned they’ve crowned me queen? It turns out I throw one mean pity party.”

The two of them share a laugh, and Izzy dabs the tears in her eyes with her pinkies. “Have you been to a doctor?”

I shake my head. I’m so ashamed at how lousy I’m handling this whole thing, I can’t even look at the two of them anymore.

“You’ll love mine. And I know for a fact he takes your student insurance because Misty uses him, too.”

“Him?” Kill me now. I’ve never had anything but a woman looking at my nether regions. “No thanks. I don’t think I can take it.”

Misty shakes her head. “You’ll have to. He’s the only OB/GYN covered on the university’s plan. I should know. I looked into it myself. Nolan and I are trying.” Her cheeks blush with color.

“Oh, well, that’s great. I’m really happy for you. In fact, I wish we could trade places.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ll be glad to provide a little cousin for your baby to play with.” She reaches over and picks up my hand. “It’s going to be great, Sunday. Trust me on this.” And just like that, I see Seth there hiding out in her eyes. She and Seth only vaguely look anything alike, but at the moment all I see is him. He’s been amazing, and oddly enough being with Misty actually makes me crave him.

“Thank you.” I look to Izzy. “And thank you, too. It feels like a weight off my shoulders now that the two of you are in on it.”

Misty takes a breath. “You mean we’re the first to know?”

My stomach pinches with heat. A part of me wants to tell her that Seth knows, that he was the first to know, but I don’t dare. “Yup. I’d sort of like to tell everyone in my own time if you don’t mind.”

Misty leans in, her eyes so wide I’m sure they’re about to fall out and begin bouncing all around the table like those nefarious ping pongs that started this baby bowling ball brewing in my belly. “You mean the father doesn’t know?” She shakes her head as if this were an impossibility. “And may I ask who he might be?”

Izzy leans in as if she were dying to know herself.

“You may ask, but that doesn’t mean I’ll have an answer for you.” I inch back as if they were about to strike. “I’m not one hundred percent certain myself. Okay, that’s not true, but I don’t really know him that well—at all. It was sort of a one-off.”

They both groan in unison, and I think that pretty much says it all.

They both quickly agree it’s best, and soon Misty excuses herself to meet up with Nolan now that the game is over.

But Izzy is kind enough to stay and chat, filling me on all things preggers, like the fact I’m not going insane. It turns out the need to pee every five seconds has nothing to do with the baby sitting on my bladder—at least not in the beginning—but everything to do with my pituitary gland. She also fills me in on the fact drinking ginger ale really does help with nausea and even takes off a pair of cloth bands from her wrists and gifts them to me. They’re some kind of pressure point seasickness bands that she swears will help stave my urge to puke up my spleen. She quickly gives me the doctor’s number and promises to help supply me with enough maternity clothes to outfit a shopping mall with.

We wrap up our maternal meet and greet just the way we started, with an awkward hug between the four of us before she takes off to have dinner with her husband.

I’m about to take off myself just as Serena jets over and fills Izzy’s seat. “What’s up, cuz?” She tips her head to the side. “And don’t you tell me nothing because I saw the whole thing, waterworks and all. What’s happening? You look miserable.” Her head moves side-to-side as she openly inspects me. “And you look—I don’t know, different. Although maybe the reason I can’t quite recognize you might have something to do with the fact you’ve been playing the part of the invisible woman. Why have you been avoiding me? And don’t you dare say you haven’t. I call and you don’t answer. I text and you ghost me. You’ve all but unfriended me on Facebook.” Her eyes glisten with moisture. Serena is stunning all on her own, but you throw in glittering tears, and those green eyes of hers turn into lush verdant lawns so green you’d think God Himself colored them in with a crayon. She shakes her head. “You’re not going to tell me, are you?” A moment of silence bounces between us. “You’re my sister. I thought we’d always be close. I guess I was wrong.”

She speeds off, and I’m left alone to gauge how many relationships and lives I can ruin in a single semester. Once I finally pull myself together, I head for the exit just as an onslaught spills in through the doors. It’s wall-to-wall bodies again, and each one of them is decked out in orange and blue with enough Mustang paraphernalia to outfit the student store. A tall, beefy Eli Gates wanders in with a pack of man-hungry girls hanging on either side, and judging by that ear-to-ear grin he’s sporting, it looks as if we scored the win. Not to mention the fact he’ll be scoring a win later on with one of the aforementioned man-hungry girls—all of them for that matter. I can’t believe I slept with the Eli Gates, and I have no memory of the entire event. I couldn’t even get a one-night stand right. I’m pretty sure the entire purpose of the quasi-syphilis-riddled event is to enjoy yourself.

I glance down at my stomach, and I’d swear I see a little pouch forming already. It’s probably just my usual bloating, but still, there’s no stopping it from this point on. I’ll have to tell him eventually. In fact, I should probably reintroduce myself in general and maybe buy him some coffee before I fill him in on the fact he’s fathered a child.

I step to the left in order to traverse the throngs on my way out just as Seth walks in. An entire crowd of girls is chomping at his heels, and he too is grinning like a loon—one who clearly has his pick of the litter. I can’t help but frown at the gaggle of girls surrounding him. Seth is cute—okay, so he’s downright handsome, and he’s nice, and kind, and he’s been nothing but generous during this entire ordeal. I can’t stand the thought that one of these giggling snakes might snatch him. I could strangle my brothers for diverting me away from him. If nature would have taken its course, Seth and I might have had a sweet long-term relationship by now with enough breakups and makeups to make your head spin. But still, it would have been ours. I cringe at the thought of fanning the flame of any lingering attraction to him. For years I’ve masked it with sarcasm and outright disdain, but I’m tired of hiding my true feelings for him, for anyone. I tried to be someone else, and look where it got me? Right here in these knocked-up shoes—size 9 months with a width of eighteen years. A small hiccup of fear hitches in my throat at the thought of raising a baby on my own. I can’t keep a houseplant alive. How am I supposed to handle a helpless human being? Let alone raise it to the point it won’t want to hunt me down and kill me one day. I’m a hot mess, and if I impress myself on this innocent being, it might just turn out that way, too. I could always put it up for adoption. That would be noble.

A horrible feeling seeps through me like poison at the thought of handing my own baby over to some strange couple to raise. I’ve always been selfish by nature—heck, I won’t even give Rush a bite of my food and he asks pretty regularly. And if he does take it, I immediately resent it. I can’t help it. It’s the way I’m wired. I like keeping things and people to myself. Hoarding. It’s what I do best. Just ask that mess under my bed.

Serena pops out of the kitchen and makes a beeline for Seth before pulling him into the foyer.

“What is that about?” I whisper, completely annoyed with my older, far prettier cousin who thinks she can systematically steal everything in my life. I thread my way through the crowd, trying my best to sneak up on them from behind like any good predator coming in for the kill.

She leans up. I watch as her mouth inches toward the side of his face, and I land between them like a bouncing betty firecracker.

“Hey, how’d the game go?” I’m breathless, and it has nothing to do with the fact I just performed an acrobatic feat—and much more to do with the fact I’m momentarily lost in Seth Baker’s brilliant blue eyes.

“They won.” Serena pulls me back a notch before nodding to Seth. “I’ll swing by sometime and we’ll get together.” She makes a face my way. “Thank God not everyone is evading me.” My heart breaks as I watch her dip back into the crowd.

“You should tell her,” he whispers so low it’s a miracle I can hear him over the house band that just cued up.

“Maybe I will tell her—when the time is right. So, what was that all about?” I try to sound innocent, not at all like the she-devil that is dying to projectile vomit from inside me. “I mean, you can do whatever you want with Serena. You don’t have to answer to me.” I shoot him a look that says answer to me and do it right now, Seth Baker.

He gives a little chuckle. “You want to get out of here? Maybe see a movie?”

“Sure, if it’s at your place. Throw in an extra-large pizza with everything on it and I’m in.”

His head inches back a notch. “Everything, huh? Does that include anchovies?”

“That includes all the anchovies they’re willing to give me.”

We head out into the icy air, and Seth wraps his arm around my waist and I lean my head over his shoulder. “I’ll make sure they give you an aquarium full.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were gunning for a place in my heart.”

He belts out a laugh, and I can’t help but notice how gorgeous he is with the moon washing him a cool shade of blue.

He glances down with his lids hooded low. “Honey, I already know I’ve got it.”

“Anyone ever tell you how cocky you are?”

“Only you, and I know you love it.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh, but I don’t—because maybe he’s right.

I nuzzle my head over his shoulder as we walk slowly all the way to the Briggs Apartment Building.

* * *

When I was a little girl, I always envisioned that romance would blossom one day through a steady stream of chocolate boxes and flowers. I thought it would be love at first sight for the both of us—an instant unbreakable connection. I thought we’d be inseparable, engaged right off the bat, and married as soon as legally possible. I never envisioned it growing slowly like a seed—someone who would come into my life with eyes the color of a young evening sky. Someone who my brothers would forbid me from even looking at with unchaste intentions. And yet here he is. Seth Baker. My insides twist in a knot for even allowing myself to let my feelings run wild. And yet I’ve always relished being near him—yearning for his company like a seedling yearns for the warmth of the sun, his every word and encouragement has become the water I’m so thirsty for. I’m tired of putting on a façade—a show for my brothers who were never even in the room when I was busy holding Seth off at an arm’s length. I’m done putting on a show just to demonstrate my silent solidarity to the two of them. Seth is a decent guy. A nice guy. Perhaps even the perfect guy. And just the thought that Serena might end up with him makes my stomach turn. Not that Serena doesn’t deserve to be happy. And if she landed someone like Seth, she’d be more than happy. If she landed Seth himself, well, I don’t know if I could ever truly be happy for either of them.

Seth turns on the television, and I curl up on his couch with a knitted throw he has slung over the back. He called in a pizza on the walk over, and it arrived just as we were making our way to the door.

“Here you go.” He hands me an oversized plate with four pieces on it and sets the box on the table in front of us.

“Wow, I keep this up and I really will be the size of a house.” I take an indulging bite and moan my way through it. “Oh my God, I couldn’t care less how big I’m going to get. I need this pizza in me stat.” I take a few more devouring salty bites, and he laughs as he plunks down next to me with his own plate in hand. “So, did you win the game by a landslide?” I ask through a mouthful.

“Thanks to your brother. I didn’t do so bad either.”

“Taking the humble approach, huh? That’s a new one for you. I bet it doesn’t feel good,” I tease. “I bet you want nothing more than to tell me how you landed the winning shot, and all the cheerleaders hopped on the Seth Express and wrapped their legs around you.” A bite of jealousy rips through me as I hook my gaze to his. Seth Baker has a way of looking at you and making you feel as if you were the only girl alive. I’ve never understood that art myself. What’s the point? Is he really trying to bed every girl on the planet? Knowing Seth, the answer is a definite yes.

“For your information, I did score the winning shot.” He gulps down the rest of his slice and puts down his plate, scooting in just a notch. “And there might have been a few girls interested in my moves.” He holds his forefinger and thumb at a small distance and winces.

“Oh, you.” I do my best to inhale all four slices and succeed in record time before setting down my own plate. “You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m actually going to buy a can or twelve of anchovies next time I’m at the grocery store.”

“Way to put the gross in grocery store.” He flips the remote through a few different channels, and we settle on a sci-fi movie we’ve both been dying to see, only for some reason it doesn’t have the power to hold my attention. My gaze keeps flitting back to Seth instead.

“I told someone,” I whisper.

“You did?” He leans in, his dark, thick brows arched heavy with concern, and it melts me just thinking that Seth actually cares so much. And then a far more realistic thought occurs to me. Seth cares for me because I’m like his sister. Of course, he’s going to be concerned. We’re family. We’ve practically been family for years. “So, who’d you tell?” His arm flexes over the sofa behind me, and I curl in until I’m sheltered under the protection of his wing.

“Izzy.” I stop shy of revealing the entire truth. I’m not sure how he’d feel if Misty knew. But in a way, it feels as if admitting that I told Misty would be tantamount to telling the world, and I don’t want to pop this bubble Seth and I are living in at the moment. “She gave me the name of a doctor, and I’ll call as soon as possible to try to see him.” I glance down at my stomach, totally distended, no thanks to the salty Italian onslaught I sent forth. “I guess I owe it to Fred to give him or her a fair shot at life.”

“Excuse me. Did you say Fred?” He ticks his head back. “We’re not calling it Fred. Not even in your belly for five minutes. We’ll scar that poor kid for life.”

“We?” I giggle up at him and scoot in a touch closer, the scent of his cologne hypnotizing me. Seth has always been a little like a snake charmer, disarming me with his eyes. I guess that would make me the cobra, and that’s pretty laughable in and of itself. I’ve never been the snake in the grass type of a girl. But maybe if I were, Seth and I would have been a couple by now, and I wouldn’t have another guy’s baby tucked deep inside my body. “All right. What should we call it? And by the way, Fred is a great name.”

“It might be, but Peanut, Bean, Anchovy—just about anything is better than Fred. It’s too serious. This kid is going to be fun. He or she is going to be great.”

I bite down hard on my bottom lip to keep my emotions in check. I pretty much run hot and cold these days, no in-between, and right now the faucet is leaning toward the waterworks. “Anchovy, huh? It does have a tendency to make my mouth water. But it’s a little greasy fish.” I shake my head with disapproval.

“Hmm.” His brows do that sexy hard V thing, and my face inches closer to his just to get a better look. “I think you’re onto something. How about Little Fish?”

“Aw! Little Fish! I love it. Little Fish for the win.” I run my finger over the stubble on his face without thinking and pull back as if I just stuck a fork in a socket. “Sorry.”

“No, that’s fine.” He picks up my hand and rubs the back against his cheek. “Sandpaper, right?”

“Yeah.” My voice drops to a whisper. “Sandpaper.” I’ve been waiting, wanting to do just that for the better half of a decade, and it felt just as amazing as I thought it would. I’ve always been fascinated by the stubble that peppers his skin. Of course, I knew him when his face was as smooth as a baby’s bottom. Speaking of which, I glance down and press my lips tight. “I don’t know what to do, Seth. I’m so confused. Why did my mom have to go and die? Why did the universe take her and leave someone as ridiculous as me on the planet who can’t even pull off a one-night stand without dire consequences?”

“Hey—I’m here for you, and I mean it.” Seth secures his arm around my shoulders, and I lean my head over his chest, just gazing up at those cut cheeks, those lips that look soft enough to kiss. Damn biology. I’ve read all about the horny hormones that have been known to drive pregnant women pornographically wild right up until the bitter end. I’ve even read stories of women begging their husband for orgasms right there in the delivery room. There is no way on this planet I’m going to be begging for delivery room sex. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of.

A brief yet highly detailed vision of Seth moving on top of me while straddling a gurney flits through my mind.

Seth sucks in his bottom lip, and that tender spot between my thighs begins to quiver. Oh hell, maybe just a quickie. I gulp hard.

“Are you keeping the baby?” A dry smile comes and goes, and suddenly Seth looks as if he’s got a stake in this child himself.

“Yes.” I give a hard blink. “I mean, no. I mean, I’m not sure.” I shake my head, thoroughly confused, which is basically the new normal. “I’m going to have it. This child is coming into this world whether I like it or not, and honestly, I haven’t decided which.” My hand falls over my stomach the way it’s prone to do when I’m alone, and I blink up at Seth with the twinge of a shy smile. “I think I’ve decided which.” I give a little shrug. “I can’t help it, though. It’s a baby. It’s my baby. I haven’t even seen it or heard its heart beat, but I’m in love with it.” My voice breaks. “I’m so in love with it I can’t imagine giving it to strangers.” That last part comes out with tears. “And yet I’m too afraid to keep it. What if I accidentally do something wrong? I don’t even know how to hold a baby, let alone be in charge of one twenty-four seven.” My voice comes out whining and pathetic. It’s a wonder if he’s not plotting on giving me the boot. “I don’t want to give up my baby, Seth. But I don’t think there’s any other way.”

A boiling anger fills his eyes, and his jaw hardens. It’s only then I see the tears glistening. Seth looks torn, as if he were dying to put in his two cents but is afraid to get his balls chopped off in the process. And he probably should be. I’ve been nothing but a wicked witch to him.

“You won’t do anything wrong. And if you decide to keep it, I’ll do whatever you need to help make things easier for you.”

“Seth.” I can’t even get his name out, the sentiment is so sweet. A hiccup bounces from me, and we both laugh. I can only imagine what a brute beast I must look like with my hair frizzed out from the icy walk over, my tear-slicked face, mascara to my chin—not to mention the guest seated between us. “That’s really nice, but I couldn’t ask you to put your life on hold just because I’m having a crisis. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who rolled the dice, and now I have to pay the price. And you have no idea how much it pained me to say that. I’ve always had a strong dislike for both the euphemism and the people who wield it, and now I’m a wielder of sayings I hate. And, apparently, I’m a lover of people living in my belly. All I want to do is cry and eat pizza laden with greasy fish.” I hiccup as if putting an exclamation point on the sentiment.

He crimps his lips. “You’re not going through this alone, Sunday. Trust me, my life took a turn right along with yours. What you go through, I go through. We’re in this together.”

My heart thumps wild as I get lost in his gaze. “Do you really mean that?”

“Hell yes.” He glances down, his hand carefully patting my sweater. “You mind?”

“No, go right ahead. I figure everyone will want to touch it sooner or later. You should probably be the first. Devirginizing me from the event.” He winces, and I mouth the word sorry. Seth lays his hand over my belly and takes a deep, shuddering breath as if he were facing his greatest fear.

“Hey, Little Fish.” His lips press tight as if he’s fighting hard not to lose it. “A baby.” His chest bucks with a silent laugh as he shakes his head. “This is going to be one wild adventure.”

“It already is.” I lean up, and everything in me freezes as I find myself within striking range of those full lips that have had me shaking all night. “You’re a good friend, Seth.” And there it is, my self-sabotage working overtime to ensure the fact I don’t cross any lines with him. Not that Seth is looking to score with a pregnant chick. I’m pretty sure once I turned myself into a human incubator I wiped all thoughts of myself as a sexual being right off the table.

“A good friend.” His Adam’s apple rises and falls as he nods into the idea. That stoned look in his eyes suggests he’s either not buying it or pissed. With my shitty luck, it’s probably both.

Something rises up inside of me, a self-righteous indignation, that outright refuses to accept my luck as anything other than stellar—despite the fact I’ve branded myself a teenaged unwed mother, and that label will stick with me for life. But, at the moment, I’m feeling a bit pissed myself and ballsy—a dangerous combination if ever there was one.

“Do you think we could”—I clear my throat—“you know, share a quick kiss?” Another hiccup tries to chirp out of me, but I do my best to stifle it. “Unless, of course, you think it would be weird. Or you’re repulsed by me.” That last thought seems entirely plausible, and come to think of it, I chose a lousy time to grow a pair of balls. This is going to be really awkward when he says no.

A hard breath expels from him, something between a laugh and a huff of anger. His lids hood low, and a drugged look comes over his face that I’ve never seen before. Seth doesn’t bother answering the question with words. Instead, he leans in close, shuts his eyes at the very last moment as he brushes his lips over mine, soft, so outrageously soft it makes me want to scream, or pant like a love-struck fool—which I am totally doing. He pulls back and offers a lazy grin, his eyes still slitted to nothing. Then just like that, he’s on me again, his mouth far more commanding as his lips press hard over mine, and everything in me is greedy to have him. It’s safe to say my newfound superpowers have accidentally launched the two of us over that line in the sand that once delineated our friendship.

I want so much more with Seth. I want everything with him.

My mouth opens for him, and he’s in me swimming around with his hot tongue ever so carefully before turning on me with a marked aggression. A small groan works its way up his throat, and I drink it down, so delicious and sweet. A groan that sounded as if this very act was something that he too craved, that his body needed it the way mine did. My hand glides over his face, and I rub hard over the abrasiveness of his cheek, feel the tickle then the burn. Seth is burning me up from the inside, igniting a passion in me that I didn’t know existed. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted Seth Baker, and now I have him, right here in my arms, in my mouth, all of his attention pinned on me. I don’t want to be friends with Seth anymore. I want something for the two of us that’s so much more. I don’t care about my brothers’ needs, what they deem is or isn’t right for me. I’m a grown woman, and I think I should have a say in who I see, who I fall for. And I think that’s exactly what’s happened. Somewhere between finding him a menace and forming a close-knit friendship, I’ve done just that—fallen hard for Seth Baker. And I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with him, too.

Heck, I know I am.

I love Seth Baker.

I love him so damn much it hurts.