Confused, Lynn squinted against the evening light, trying to focus. There was a wall of weeds in front of her. Big weeds, taller than her. What the hell?

She scanned the perfectly manicured yard, the neatly trimmed landscaping, and the fresh mulch that lined the front of the mobile home. The giant weeds made no sense here.

“Meet Henry,” Jathan said from behind her.

She startled. She’d forgotten about Jathan and had been wondering if she’d sleepwalked here. She did that sometimes—woke up in strange places. Her panther took over and pushed her out, and she would end up in the woods or beside a road. Once she even ended up in someone’s car because she’d apparently been hitchhiking.

Baffled, she asked, “Who is Henry?”

“The bigass weed in front of you. The tallest one.”

Lynn arched her gaze to the top of the weed and shook her head. “Is this your den?”

“Yep. Home sweet home, right on the outskirts of Grayland Mobile Park. Singlewide, five years old, has two working window-unit air conditioners and only gets bugs in the summertime. It’s a love shack. The ladies come a runnin’ when they find out I live in this castle.”

Lynn giggled, but it scared her, so she clapped her hand over her mouth.

Jathan’s fingertips touched her lower back. “You should laugh more.”

Sometimes he didn’t make sense to her, so she changed the subject. “Why don’t you pull the weeds. Everything else looks pristine.”

“Pull the weeds? Woman, I grew these from baby-weeds! That was a tiny dandelion a month ago. I gave it plant food and I’m trying to get it as tall as me. It’s a goal of mine.”

“Well, it’s good to have weird hobbies.”

Jathan chuckled and splayed his hand across her lower back. His palm was huge. Big as a bear paw, even when he was human. Usually touch made her flinch away, but for some reason, she stayed right where she was, practically purring under his touch. Trouble, trouble, trouble.

“Where do you go?”

“Hmmm?” she asked, forcing her gaze away from Henry.

“When your eyes go dead and you stop talking…where do you go?”

Lynn gave a helpless shrug. “I don’t know. I just…disappear.”

“Mmm.” He reached out and stroked a prickly leaf on Henry, almost as if he used the weed so he had another place to put his hand. Then he narrowed his eyes at her. “You want to know what I think?”

“Not really.”

“Look, I took psychology one-oh-one in college, and I’m basically a professional. I think you disappear when you talk about, or think about, something that hurts. I think your panther thinks she’s protecting you, but it messed you up instead.”

Lynn clenched her fists at her sides and fought the tingling sensation in her middle that said she would Change soon. “You think too much about me. Best you stop that before you get attached to something that’s a puff of smoke in the wind.”

“Mmm,” he said again. “You wanna fuck, Smoke Nut?”

Lynn sighed. “All boys are the same.”

“Boys, yes, men, no.”

“You’re a man, not a boy?”

“I’m here, aren’t I? Where’s Brody? Hmm? Where’s the boy who did this?”

Blink.

“No!” Jathan gripped her chin and pulled her gaze to his. “Nope, don’t run, Smoke Nut.”

Blink.

“Lynn!”

Blink.

She was trying to hold on, really she was, but Brody was something she couldn’t think about. She couldn’t because it hurt too much. “Jathan,” she whispered as her vision collapsed inward. The sky went dark, and then the woods behind him. Everything was covered in shadows until only Jathan’s worried, chocolate brown eyes were in focus. They were holding her, tethering her. If she could just stay here a little longer…

Blink.

Jathan’s lips crashed onto hers. His hands went rough in the back of her hair as he forced her face against his. The kiss was a storm that jolted her from the cold, dead waters of the black ocean she’d tried to escape to. His mouth moved against hers in a violence that was breathtaking and painful and perfect. His sharp teeth scraped her lip, and when she opened her eyes, the forest was there again behind him. It was dark, but there.

Desperate to anchor herself in this moment, she slid her hands up the strong planes of his chest, around his thick neck, and then tightened her arms around him.

“Stay,” he ground out against her lips before he pushed his tongue into her mouth.

He tasted so good. His hands were steady against her back and in her hair. She waited for the trapped feeling, but it didn’t come. Not when he dragged her closer, and not when he pushed her through the landscaping and pressed her back against the side of his trailer. Not when he lifted her up like she weighed nothing at all and rocked onto her pelvis just right.

Broken, broken Lynn, giving in to a man again. But this was different. Jathan wasn’t Brody. He wasn’t trying to lock her down, but was playing with her instead. Oh, she knew he was in this for the next six days because she was a safe bet. He wouldn’t have to get attached. Men like Jathan didn’t do bonds. They didn’t do deep connections. He was a bad bear, and she was a bad kitty, and maybe for tonight, one of her last nights, she could feel something.

He rolled his hips against hers slowly, one, two, three, and she thought he would drag this out, but suddenly he pushed the pace. He was so powerful against her as he sped up, and oh, this felt so good. It had been so long since a man touched her like this. Since anyone touched her at all.

He bit her lip hard enough that she tasted iron, but she liked it. She liked rough. Wanted it. Wanted Jathan the way he was. Monster. He lowered his lips to her neck and sucked so hard she gasped in pleasure and pain.

“Are you still with me?” he growled against her skin.

“I’m here,” she answered breathily. God, she was holding on so tight. Don’t leave, don’t leave. Let me have this moment, Monster.

He slowed again, his erection pressing against her just right, teasing, changing the rhythm when she got close. Her toes were curled with how good it felt, and gooseflesh covered her skin. Oh, this man could fuck. She could tell from how he was revving up her body.

“More,” she begged, reaching between them. He was strong like an oak, and he snarled a sexy sound when she pushed her fingertips into the front of his jeans. He was big, perhaps too big for her body, she didn’t know yet, but she was willing to try. Willing to lose herself to a fun night just to get some relief from her head. Because he was doing it. He was distracting her from the turmoil inside of her, and she never wanted this to stop. She slid her hand down his pants farther and gripped his thick shaft. And then she grinned as he bucked into her hand and made a sexy groan in his throat. She’d been powerless for so long, and look here. She could pull a helpless noise from a someday alpha with a touch. For the first time in years, she was in control of something.

His lips collided with hers again, and he settled her on her feet, pressed her back against his home. The kiss was desperate. It wasn’t romantic, or lovey dovey. It was two people who needed release as soon as possible to be okay.

Jathan gripped her hips and exhaled a breath as he rolled against her again. His hands were shaking slightly, and she loved this. The snap of his button sounded so loud in the quiet of the evening, and so did the quick rip of the zipper, but when she moved to shove his pants down his waist, he jerked away. “Fuck,” he whispered, retreating a few steps. He ran his hand through his longer hair on top and paced away, then back through the landscaping to reach her. “We can’t. You’re not ready.”

“Then I’ll never be ready,” she said, angry at being cut off. “This is as good as I get.”

“Bullshit. This is rock bottom. I can’t fuck you when you’re at rock bottom.”

Lynn huffed a pissed-off breath and looked away in shame. “Of course. Just like every other boy.”

“Don’t get it twisted. A boy would fuck you right now, Lynn. A man would wait until you’re ready.”

“You sleep with everyone,” she gritted out. “Fuck.” Something was happening to her face. Warmth trailed from her eyes to her cheeks and dripped off her jaw. She wiped the tears angrily and strode between the bushes, blasting past him. She needed to get out of here. Needed to hide because she was going to fall apart and she was going to disappear and she was going to Change and Monster would do awful things. She was going to fight. Who was next? Kirk? Beaston? Creed?

Help me! She wanted to scream it because she’d needed it so desperately all along. But with this thing that had happened to her, that had created her and made her unloveable, she had to be quiet. Suffer in silence, because who would understand? No one. If she admitted all her sins, who would still stand against her storm? Again, no one.

“Tell me why you’re mad,” Jathan demanded, keeping pace with her.

Which way was home? Which way to the tree house? I can’t breathe.

“Tell me!”

A wave of power washed over her skin, and she went down to her knees automatically. He was doing what Ben did. What Greyson did. What Creed of the Gray Backs did. He was pulling rank and making her panther think he was alpha. Making her obey. Not fair. Not fair!

Jathan went to his knees in front of her and gripped her shoulders. “Tell me, and I’ll give you relief.”

Struggling to inhale, she choked out, “I just wanted to not feel broken for a little while.”

“Touch fixes it?”

“I don’t—I—” Can’t breathe! “I don’t know.”

Jathan’s eyes were two green, glowing flames in the evening shadows as he scanned the woods. After a second of hesitation, he dragged her onto his lap, straddling her legs around his hips, and before she could react, he rucked her dress up, slipped his hand down the front of her panties and dragged his fingers through the wetness he’d conjured between her legs.

Lynn was panting for breath, but the tightness in her chest eased a little, and she wanted more. She wanted that steady feeling he’d given her against the house. “Please,” she begged. “It doesn’t mean anything. Just…fix me for a little while.”

Jathan looked angry as he stared off into the woods and shook his head, but it only lasted a moment before he gripped the back of her neck with his free hand and kissed her, plunging his tongue into her mouth in the same moment he slid two fingers inside of her. She moaned into his mouth and melted against him.

He was keeping her here, keeping her present, not allowing her to disappear, and it had been so damn long since she felt this in control. He pulled his fingers out and pushed them back in, even deeper, and now she was rocking her hips with the pace he set. Her entire body was trembling, but it was with want, not fear, so she melted against him and hugged his neck as their lips moved against each other’s.

This was safe. This was release without love. Love ruined everything, but Jathan was good for her. He was disconnected, too. He was Monster, too. She’d seen his bear. Their demons matched, and there was no chance at either one of them falling for each other before her time was up. She could enjoy his affection, his attention, his body, guilt free. For once, she could do something guilt-free. This was freedom from herself.

He smelled good. Fur and cologne and arousal, and she could feel his erection between her legs as she rocked against his touch. He didn’t slow her down this time but pushed into her faster and faster until she was panting out his name. Until she was clawing at the back of his neck and fighting the urge to bite him on his exposed throat. Until she was shattering in an intense orgasm around his fingers. He pushed into her deep, over and over, until the throbbing felt unbearably good. Then it faded away, pulse by pulse.

And then he broke the unspoken rules.

Jathan cupped her cheek tenderly and kissed her like this wasn’t desperation. He kissed her like he was adoring her, like he was coveting her. No. No, no, no, this wasn’t how it was supposed to work. He was stirring up warmth in her chest. Stirring up these feelings that she wanted more gentleness, but that was the last thing she needed. Lynn needed rough to sate Monster, not adoration.

She flinched away from his kiss and pulled him by the wrist out from under her dress. “I’m hungry.” And a little angry, but from his glare, he could probably tell that part.

“Get on my Harley,” he gritted out.

Lynn gave him a wicked smile. “That’s more like it. I like when you boss me around. Don’t like it when you try to make me fall for you. Remember always, love is fire. Love won’t fix me. Play with my body, but leave my heart alone.”

Lynn shoved off him and made her way to the Harley parked in front of his trailer. While she was straightening the hem of her dress, he slid a helmet over her head and startled her. Without a word, he gave her a devil-may-care smile, kicked a leg over his bike, and turned it on. The roar of it was so loud it vibrated through her chest.

What was this she was feeling when he cast her a green-eyed glance over his shoulder? Was it a trill of excitement? That seemed right. She was going to ride a motorcycle for the first time in her life. A hundred years ago, in another lifetime, she had dreamed of riding on the back of Jathan’s bike. He’d had a motorcycle during his senior year in high school, and all the girls adored the Bad Bear. While he was preparing to graduate, she had only been a shy sophomore. She’d watched him quietly. Pined for him in silence, and now here she was, at the end of her life, and she was marking off a bucket list item.

Helmet fastened, she got on behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist, interlocked her fingers, and held on tight as he blasted them out of the yard. She couldn’t catch her breath as he sped under the Grayland Mobile Park sign, or even when he hit the main road that led out of Damon’s Mountains. It took her a minute to realize why—she was laughing.

Over his shoulder, Jathan said, “Lynn, don’t let go of me. Are you still with me?”

“Yeah.” Lynn held onto him tighter as they hit smooth asphalt. “I’m still here.”