Chapter Twelve

ISABELLA

Although Adam insisted I take the rest of the afternoon to think about our talk before I answered him, I didn’t really need it. I knew last night what my decision would be. I knew the moment I showed up at his door if I’m being honest. But if this really is my last day of freedom, as he put it, I may as well spend it doing the one thing I’ve been begging for over the last few days.

Something tells me lazy days of eating ice cream on my couch in my pajamas will be numbered once I give him my submission.

That thought sinks in fully as I divert my gaze from Drew Barrymore in the chick flick I’m watching, savoring in the feel of his palm on my thigh. My eyes move over the bright colors splaying over my walls, the purples and blues dancing over the huge pink and gold rug in my living room from the curtains I’d made the first week I moved in. I set my ice cream to the side, nuzzling into the couch with my favorite throw pillow, the soothing aroma of nag champa incense swirling around me. As the gentle sounds of my elderly neighbors in the hallway muffle the sound of my television, I can’t help the tinge of sadness that comes with it.

I know they’re just things, but it took me a long time to put them together, to make my home.

I already know my decision, but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss this place… this very moment.

I glance down the couch toward him, finding his eyes still trained on his computer, gently scrolling. He’s barefoot, wearing jeans and an old Harvard t-shirt, the leisure in his appearance something I’ve not seen often. His hand moves from its spot on my feet and as he leans over to type something, his torso brushes against my legs making the movie I’ve been watching completely obsolete. My eyes trace the ridges running over his arms, the way his dark hair hangs boyishly over his brow as he rubs his palm over his scruff. He sucks his lower lip between his teeth as he studies the screen, sending an unreasonable jolt of jealousy through me and I stifle a sigh.

I’ve known since the beginning the risk of falling for him was massive, but I don’t think it’s until this moment of pure, unadulterated adoration that I know how far I’ve already plummeted.

“I had no idea you were such a fan of voyeurism,” he says, eyes still locked on the screen but somehow managing to make me blush as I swallow the knot in my throat.

“Maybe I just needed to find the right subject,” I whisper, finally pulling his eyes to mine, his gaze soft with my admission.

“Come here,” he orders quietly, slipping his hand into mine and pulling me to his lips, giving me a kiss before releasing me gently back into the cushions. “You’re sweet, baby.”

“Thanks,” I smile, nuzzling back into my pillow and pulling my fluffy throw around my shoulders, settling my eyes back on him as he returns his attention back to his work. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”

“No,” he shakes his head with a smirk to match mine. “No, I’m just not used to someone watching me while I work. Not so intensely, at least,” he admits. “I can’t imagine it’s very entertaining.”

“Well, you must have never watched yourself work then, Mr. Avery, because I happen to find it quite fascinating,” I argue playfully, watching his lips spread into a wide grin that tugs at his dimples, the unusual sight of his cheeks reddening making me silently giddy. “Wow,” I chuckle, using my toes to tickle his ribs. “I made you blush?”

“Hmm,” he hums, gaze still on the screen in front of him as his eyebrows quirk up just slightly in confirmation, his palm settling higher on my inner thigh sending a buzz over my skin. “Give me an hour to finish this contract and I’ll show you a few things that fascinate me, Miss Baxter. Then we’ll see who’s blushing.”

The goofy giggle that slips through my lips makes him grin smugly as his fingers move over the keyboard. My laughter fades and I fall silent, my mind moving a million miles an hour. I’m lost in my thoughts when he pulls me back, the light pinch on my thigh moving my eyes to his.

“You’re being very quiet today,” he muses. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” I nod, resting my hand over his. “I’m just thinking on a few things while you work.”

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, turning to face me.

“Our talk,” I admit, glancing down at our fingers as I wind mine into his, my eyes moving back to find his still on me.

“If you have any questions, now’s the time to ask them, baby,” he answers gently, leaning against the arm of the couch. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“No, nothing like that. I just think it’ll be a pretty big change,” I shake my head. “I was thinking about my apartment and how weird it will be to only be here once a week.”

“Well,” he sighs, squeezing my hand. “You can bring some of your things with you. Make it a little more comfortable for you at my place.”

“I might do that,” I say, giving him a small smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” he whispers. “Was that the only thing?”

“Pretty much.”

“Pretty much like yes or pretty much like there’s more, but you don’t want to tell me?”

“Both,” I confess.

“What else?”

“Stupid stuff,” I smirk. “I was wondering if you were going to make me cook and clean for you.”

“Bella, I have people that I pay to do things like that for me,” he shakes his head. “I want you to be my submissive, not my slave,” he promises. “Besides, you’ll be far too busy doing other things.”

“What about the secrecy?” I ask. “I mean, I’m not saying I need to tell everyone everything, but if I’m pretty much living with you, I’m going to have to tell them something,” I bite my lip. “Christie’s already come by here looking for me, worried when I didn’t answer. It’s only a matter of time before the same thing happens with my family.”

He rubs his chin in thought, giving me a subtle nod.

“Are you certain they won’t go to the media?”

“My mother?” I balk. “She’s more likely to go to a priest than the media, Adam,” I giggle. “As for Christie and the rest of my family, they’d never say a word to anyone. And I have no intention of sharing personal details about anything that happens between us, but I can’t exactly keep lying to everyone I care about.”

“If it’s on a need to know basis, I’m fine with it. Just stress the importance of discretion,” he insists. “We both have enough on our plates right now and I don’t want reporters harassing you.”

“Okay,” I nod. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he says quietly, relaxing further into the couch. “Are we nearly there, kitten?”

“Nearly where?”

“To the question you really want to ask.”

I move my eyes to his, biting my lip as I swallow hard. His gaze is intense and try as I might, I can’t hold it. Not right now, so I glance down at my hand in his, studying his fingers while I find my courage. Finally, I squeeze my eyes shut and force the words out.

“What if I say yes and we do this for six months and I hate it?” I manage. “Will that mean the end of this? The end of us?”

“Is that what’s got you so worried?” he asks, pulling a nod from me. “Come here,” he whispers, tugging me toward him and sliding me onto his lap, settling me against his chest. “I can’t predict the future, okay?” he starts. “I don’t know what will happen with us six months down the line. I simply know what I feel right now, what I think you feel, darling,” he continues, cradling my cheek as he gently brushes my hair away from my face. “If I’m being honest, that would really depend deeply on the circumstances surrounding your decision. What I can promise you, though, is that you aren’t something I’m taking lightly, certainly not if you choose to give me your submission. You’ve promised your total acceptance of me and now I’m offering the same for you,” he promises, searching my features before swallowing hard and giving his eyes back to me. “Should you accept, there will be no me without you, Isabella. If you allow your purpose to become my pleasure, mine will simply become you.”

His words leave me breathless, but only long enough for me to pull his lips toward mine, kissing him deeply and without abandon. When I pull away a moment later, I raise my fingertips to his mouth, tracing his lips and longing for another taste as his hot breath washes over me.

“Isabella…”

“Yes,” I cut him off, pulling his eyes back. “My answer is yes.”