Chapter Twenty-Three
Veronica
Sliding into bed beside Van, I can feel the tension coming off him in waves. He has been on edge all night, following each move Cline made with a look of concern in his eyes. Guilt swamped me every time I saw his worry. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. My own worry wouldn’t let me, though.
“Cline’s okay,” I reassure him, cuddling into his side. “She is safe in her bed, only a few feet down the hall.”
His body grows even more taut as he growls out, “What about next week? Is she gonna be okay, spending all her time with that cunt?”
I’m not sure how to respond to that. I want to comfort him, but there is nothing I can say that will give him even an ounce of comfort. My mind flashes back to each and every time Dad had to take me back to Mom. He was always on edge. Even as a child, I could tell he was holding on to his temper by a string. I hate that Van has to go through the same thing, but I don’t know how to help him.
“Are you gonna be okay with Cline spending more time here?” he asks, drawing a surprised gasp from my lips.
I push myself up on my elbow and narrow my eyes at him. “I can’t believe you would even ask me that. I love Cline. She stole my heart the first time I saw her. I’d kidnap her and take her back to Chicago with me if I didn’t think you’d hunt us down.”
His eyes go hard, and he starts issuing orders. “You’re not going back to Chicago, Ronni. You just as well get that shit out of your head.”
I’m so surprised by his words that I can do nothing more than just stare at him for a long moment. I haven’t had anyone try to tell me what to do in a long damn time. Just having him order me around for the last few weeks has been hard, but I have dealt with it because he was trying to keep me safe. This is different; this is him trying to run my life.
“What the hell do you mean, I won’t be going back to Chicago?” I ask, sitting up on the bed and glaring at him. “Don’t you think that should be my choice?”
He pushes himself up, leaning against the headboard before he answers. “Would you really choose Chicago over Cline and me? What about your dad? Do you really want to be that far away from Tito? Does Chicago mean that much to you?”
His questions bounce around in my head, and I quickly come up with an answer. “I’m going to miss Kat and Erin.”
He shrugs as if it’s no big deal and says, “Tell them to pack up their shit and bring their asses to Cotton Plains.”
I immediately start thinking of ways to convince them to move down here. Considering Erin doesn’t have a real job and no family to speak of, she wouldn’t have a problem. Kat, on the other hand, has a job. She is an associate professor of Political Science at Northwestern. However, IUPUI is only a half hour drive from here. If she could get hired on there, she’d probably be willing to move.
“When I get this shit worked out with Cline’s mom, she’ll be here with us all the time. You may love her, but are you sure you want someone else’s kid around every day?” he asks, bringing my mind back to our original topic. “If not, you have to let me know now. I can’t get in any deeper with you if you can’t see yourself playing mom for my little girl.”
My heart skips a beat, realizing exactly what he is asking me. He doesn’t want this thing between us to end anytime soon, maybe never. For that to happen, I have to accept his daughter, something I am more than willing to do.
I reach up and lay my hand against his cheek. “I’d be honored to help you raise your daughter. If would be a privilege.”
His eyes slowly close and he pulls in a deep breath and whispers, “she deserves to have a woman in her life that will love her. She deserves to have a real mom.”
The woman in me wants to remind Van that she already has a mother, but then I remember all the tears Cline has shed over the last couple of weeks. I’ve watched Van with her. He’s good to her, gentle even. Brass is the same, if not more so. That leaves one person in her life that is making her so skittish: the woman she calls Mom.
He finally opens his eyes and says, “I’m gonna make sure she understands, her time with Cline is going to be limited from now on.”
Before he can say more, I cut him off with a question. “If the two of you have shared custody, how are you going to make that happen?”
“It’s best if you don’t know all the details,” he says, his lips tipping up at the corner, making him look even more handsome than normal.
It’s not the first time I’ve heard a phrase like that. Usually, it means that whatever it involves isn’t exactly legal. As long as it gets Cline away from her mother, I don’t care what he has to do. I just hope it doesn’t land him in jail.
I lay my head back on his chest and trace my fingers over his firm stomach. “Do whatever you have to do, just don’t get yourself in trouble. One man in my life behind bars is too many, as far as I’m concerned.”
Van’s calloused hand strokes up and down my back, causing me to let out a sigh and close my eyes. “I’m not going to jail, not because of that anyways. I can’t promise I’ll never have to spend time inside, but I hope like hell I don’t. Been inside more than once, and I can’t say it was my favorite place to lay my head at night.”
Hearing that Van has been in jail isn’t much of a surprise to me. Dad has been in and out of jail for as long as I can remember. Luckily, he has never been sent to prison, but it’s been close a few times. When you butt heads with the law all the damn time, you’re going to have to pay from time to time.
“I’m going to go see Tito tomorrow,” Van says, completely changing the subject. “I need to get the go-ahead to bring Erin down, and there’s some other shit I need to talk to him about. I shouldn’t be gone but a couple of hours. Do you mind keeping Cline here with you while I’m gone? Brass will be around, but she’d rather spend time with you.”
“I don’t mind watching her at all, but I’d like to go see Dad. I haven’t seen him in months and would really love to, even if there is a thick pane of glass between us.”
He starts shaking his head before I even get the last word out. “Absolutely not. You aren’t going anywhere near that fucking jailhouse. You’re gonna stay right here, where it’s safe. I’m not taking any chances with you.”
I sit up and send Van another glare. “Who the hell is going to hurt me at the jail? There will be police everywhere, and you will be right by my side.”
Van knows how badly I’ve wanted to see my dad. I’ve asked a million times to go on visiting days, but he has put me off over and over again. He hasn’t even let me talk to him on the phone, saying everything is recorded. I’ve tried to understand where he was coming from, but this is just too freaking much. For him to plan a visit and deny me the chance to see Dad is complete and total bullshit. I know he’s just worried about me and wants to protect me, but I’m not even scared anymore. I’ve seen how protective Van is of me, and Brass is, too, and I know that I’m finally safe. I’m not worried about Miles or anyone else, not anymore.
“What if someone is watching, waiting to see if you go to visit your dad?” he asks, shooting daggers with his eyes. “We wouldn’t even know they were there until they decided to hit. It could happen on the way home or after we got here. How would you feel if they came in the house and killed us all, even Cline?”
“That wouldn’t happen,” I deny with a quick shake of my head.
My stomach is twisting in knots, realizing just how much danger I have brought to his door. I’m not worried about Van. To me, like my dad, Van is invincible. I can’t even imagine a bullet taking him out. Cline, on the other hand, is delicate. They could hurt her, kill the beautiful little girl, and it would be all my fault.
Not willing to admit defeat, I think back on my trip from Chicago to Indy. “I could wear a disguise. No one would know who I am. I still have the fake IDs Dad gave me for the flights. I could use one of them to get into the jail.”
Van jerks up in the bed, sitting up on his knees, grabbing the top of my arms in a grip that, if I wasn’t so surprised, it’d probably hurt. For a long moment, we just stare at each other, both of us breathing hard, barely holding back our tempers.
“I can’t take the chance of something happening. I could lose you and Cline both if I don’t handle this shit the right way. Why can’t you understand that?” he shouts, completely losing his shit. “Why can’t you just do what you are fucking told, without fighting with me about every damn thing?”
“What the fuck do you mean, do what I’m told? Really?” I shout right back, losing control of my temper. “I’ve done nothing but what you want me to do since the minute I got off the damn plane.”
He had me ready to give in, right up until he started spewing shit. I wouldn’t put Cline in danger, no matter what. I would have agreed to stay home, knowing I would see my dad soon enough, but now, I’m going to fight him tooth and nail. The things I want to say are so ugly, they make me grimace in disgust.
“I have to get away from you before I say something I’m going to regret,” I whisper, pulling away from him and crawling off the bed.
If it was possible, I’d swear that Van had smoke coming from his ears. He’s so pissed off that his face is blood red, and his eyes are sparkling dangerously. I’ve never seen him so mad, but I don’t care. I’m mad, too, angrier than I have been in a long time. Knowing I have to go before things deteriorate even further, I turn away. I barely make it a foot before Van’s arms are wrapped around me.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” he asks, tightening his hold. “We already talked about this. You sleep where I sleep.”
If he thinks I’m sleeping in the same bed with him, he’s crazy. “I’m not sleeping with you tonight. I need some time on my own.”
As I finish my sentence, Van tosses me on the bed and comes down on me. With his weight holding me down, I can feel his hard length pressing against my core. Heat fills my body, but I do my best to ignore it and attempt to buck him off. As much as I fight, he stays in place.
“You know what I’m saying is right, so stop being so fucking stubborn,” he growls, holding my hands over my head. “Tito will be home soon, and you can see him then.”
I’m about to give him another piece of my mind, let him know I’m not pissed about visiting Dad, but his lips come down on mine, and my words die a quick death. My anger instantly turns to lust. I’m still fighting him, but the fight has changed. Instead of wanting him off me, I now am fighting to get him inside me.
He releases my hands and one of his fists my hair. His other hand strokes along the side of my ribcage, causing my body to quiver involuntarily. His tongue invades my mouth as he grinds his hard cock against my lace-covered pussy. His hand roams between my legs, his fingertip grazing my clit. I want to still be mad, I should be mad, but my body is defying me. I moan into his mouth, wrapping my legs around his hips.
The sound of fabric ripping causes me to pull my mouth away, and I feel the cool air touching my slit. “You just ripped my panties.”
Van gives me a nonchalant shrug, letting me know he couldn’t care less. “If I had told you to remove them, you would’ve bitched that I was telling you what to do.”
My anger comes back in a tidal wave, but I keep my lips shut. I want mine, want to get off before I give him hell. He lets go of my hair long enough to reach in the bedside table. He opens the drawer, runs his hand inside, then lifts his body off mine.
“Motherfucker,” he growls, looking back at me. “I’m out of condoms.”
“I have an IUD,” I say before I can consider the ramifications of my words. “I know I’m clean. Are you?”
This is not a conversation we should be having right now, not when we just had our first real argument. I know this is a topic for another time, but I want him inside me. Uncovered or not, I want to feel him moving in me.
He blinks at me before answering. “I was tested last month. Clean as a whistle.”
I slowly nod at him, giving him permission without saying the words. He just looks at me with heat in his eyes and brings his hardness to my core. He doesn’t make a sound as he buries himself deep. Not faltering in his movements, he thrusts hard and fast. My legs wrap around his waist, my hips matching him thrust for thrust.
My sex ripples around his cock, letting us both know that I am already ready to come. In and out, he moves with a desperation that I haven’t felt before. Within minutes, his thrusts become erratic but still just as powerful. His hand works its way between our bodies, finding my clit. He pinches it between two fingers and gives it a quick twist.
The extra simulation sends me over the edge, causing my body to explode in pure bliss. I ride it out, holding his body close to mine. The sluggishness that comes with a really hard orgasm is just starting to fill my body when he buries himself deep inside me and growls out his own release.
When I’m finally able to string words together again, I smile at him. “I like angry sex. We’re gonna have to try that again.”
Grabbing a handful of hair once again, he forces me to look into his eyes, and I know that humor wasn’t the way to go. “I don’t care how much of a problem you have with it, when it’s for your own safety, I expect you to do what I say.”
I nod, knowing he is right. He has put his life on the line, put his daughter’s life on the line, to keep me safe. The least I can do is make his job easier.
“Okay,” I say simply, not wanting to fight with him anymore.
“My old lady isn’t gonna get her ass hurt, not on my watch, and not when I can prevent it,” he states, causing my head to spin.
This is the first time he’s called me his old lady, and I’m not quite sure how to take it. I want to be his, want him to be mine, but this seems so fast for something so big. Considering I’ve already told him I love him, I guess I was the one who set this pace. I just wish that avowals of love came with his claim.
“Do you want to clean up?” he asks as he rolls off me.
“Yeah,” I mumble, a yawn slipping out.
He kisses the top of my head and taps my ass. “Hurry up, darlin’. I want to go to sleep, and that’s not gonna happen until you’re back in my arms.”
I nod, climbing out of bed and rushing to the bathroom. As soon as I’m done, I head back to the bed and cuddle into his side. Laying my hand over his heart, its beat lulls me to sleep with a smile on my face.