Chapter 5 – Desiree
I still felt nervous going into work, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Fran had told me that I should just ignore it all, and I was working on doing that. I didn’t know if anyone was still whispering behind my back, but I wasn’t listening for it in the first place. They were going to say what they were going to say, and the best I could do was try to make sure that I didn’t let it bother me. I was exactly where I wanted to be, and all I needed was to just ride it out.
After a week, the nervousness was completely gone and I was starting to really like working there. I had seen Donald only once in the hallway. The look he had given me had stopped me in my tracks. He still hadn’t forgotten about me smacking him, and I was sure that he wasn’t going to forget any time soon. I didn’t ask Greg if he was still thinking about getting rid of him. I just let it go, and as long as he wasn’t around me or messing with me, I could usually ignore it all.
Greg was a little harder to ignore. He started meeting me out in the parking garage for lunch. I had gone with him every day that week. Now that it was Friday, I was thinking about Greg and how much I was going to miss the relaxed talks that we had over deli sandwiches. I don’t know why, but waiting a couple of days to see him again seemed like a long time.
When I was leaving that evening, I thought of stopping off to see him. I hadn’t done it yet, but when I got in the elevator, there was an urge to hit the top button and find a reason to say that I wanted to see him. But I didn’t succumb to it. I went down to the parking garage instead. A couple of days weren’t that long, after all.
His voice stopped me before I got to my car, though, and I smiled to myself when he said my name. Why did I want to see him so badly? We had just seen each other for lunch a few hours ago.
“Are you done for the week?”
I nodded that I was, turning around to look up at him. I don’t know how he did it, but he had some of the best timing.
“Would you like to go out with me tonight?”
“I’m not really dressed to go out.”
“I can pick you up around eight if you want. However long you think you need to get ready would be fine with me.”
“Well, aren’t you accommodating today?”
He chuckled, and I thought for a moment he was going to kiss me again. There were times when we were together that I was sure that he was going to kiss me. He would get close, so close that I could feel his breath on me, and then I would wait in anticipation. It wasn’t long before I would realize, like I was now, that he wasn’t going to make a move. So, trying not to sigh too hard, I agreed to go with him. I didn’t know where we were going, but I knew that it didn’t matter. I just wanted to be with him.
“I will see you then.”
“Okay, see you then, Greg.”
Getting into my car, there was a buzz in the air and I was sure that everyone else could hear it because it was so loud in my ears. I knew then that I wanted more from Greg than just being my boss. I wanted him in ways that I wasn’t supposed to want him.
***
“I can’t believe you are going out with him. I can’t even believe you are working there again, but this is different. If you go, Desiree, he is going to think that you want something more than just a friendship.”
“I do want more than a friendship. I want him, Fran. I don’t know why I do, but God I want him so bad. He is like Jimmy from tenth grade all over again. I can’t think when he is around. I can barely talk a lot of the time. I think maybe if we are together once, then I could move on. I don’t know. He is driving me a little crazy.”
She just shook her head at me. She had already given me a hard time about a lot of things, and now I knew what she was going to say.
“I just think that you are playing with fire, Desiree. Men like Greg Jefferson are not known to be faithful and loyal. Do you really want to get involved with a man like that? I mean, think about it. He is trying to get with you and he’s your boss. That goes against all kinds of ethics.”
I knew that she was probably right. What we’d been doing so far wasn’t wrong, but what I wanted to happen was certainly frowned upon. But I felt like I was supposed to be with him. If nothing else, I just had to get him out of my system before he drove me insane.
“I know, Fran, but you have seen him. He is gorgeous.”
“Mmmhmm. I think it has to do with that kiss you guys had in the kitchen.”
“I thought you were in your room?”
“I thought you were smarter than that, Desiree.”
I sighed to myself. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. There was a lot of truth in what she was telling me, and I knew that Fran had my best interests at heart, she always did, but I didn’t want to hear it. I was going to have him one way or another, and I had a feeling that tonight was going to be the night that we got close. I felt like I had been waiting forever, and I was ready to find out if it was worth all of the hassle.
“Look, Fran. I know you are not going to get it, but I kind of fell for him. I just want him once, and then he will move on and I will be able to stop thinking about him.”
“You act like you are not going to fall harder.”
I didn’t answer her. I knew that it was definitely a possibility. “I’m not in high school anymore. I don’t fall.”
She looked skeptical, and I wished that I had more power and surety in my voice, but it wasn’t sure at all.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Desiree.”
Fran had that tone in her voice and I finally looked at her. “I’m not going to get hurt, Fran. I know what this is.”
“And you are still willing to do it?”
Nodding my head, I knew that I was. I knew there was a chance I’d get hurt, but more than anything I just wanted Greg. It didn’t matter what the consequences would be. If I thought of them, I wouldn’t have answered the door and moved to the car that was waiting for us. When he opened the passenger side for me in the front, I was a little shocked that he was actually driving.
“No driver?”
He shook his head no. “Not tonight.”