Maggie

'peek into my mom's room as I'm getting ready for the .double date. She's sitting on her bed, staring at the open box with the ring Lou gave her still inside. She didn't say yes to him when he came over last night and proposed, but she didn't say no.

She said she needed time to think.

She's definitely thinking.

"Did you tell Dad about Lou?" I ask her.

"I called him today," she says, her voice sad and wistful.

"And?"

"And ... I don't know," she says, then shrugs. "I'm confused. I thought I knew what I wanted, but when Lou came by last night he got me thinking, and now ... now I'm just confused."

I sit on the bed next to her and smile. She brushes the hair out of my face and sighs. "I thought for so long that if your dad came back, it would make our lives whole again."

"I know. I did, too. Until Lou came along."

"But he's not your dad. I fell in love with your dad first, and I don't know if I can give Lou as much of myself as I gave your father."

"He loves you, Mom."

"I know. But is it enough?"

"That's for you to decide. I'll support you, no matter what you choose."

"I just thought ... well, forget it. Don't think about anything except having fun. I'm glad you're going out."

"Me too." I hadn't been looking forward to tonight, but when I took a shower and started getting ready, I got excited. Well, not excited for my mystery date, but excited to be doing what I said I was doing-moving on with my life.

Sometimes moving on takes effort.

Sometimes moving on is harder than it looks.

Going out is the first step to Maggie Armstrong moving on in life. I may have a limp, but that doesn't mean my social life or dating life has to be dead.

I take a deep breath and tell myself, it is what it is. I can't turn back the clock and undo the accident. It happened. This is who I am now, take it or leave it.

But when I look at my clock and notice it's five fortyfive, I have second thoughts. I don't know if I'm ready to move on. I can't imagine myself kissing anyone besides Caleb. I know that's ridiculous, but right now it's true.

At five after six, as I'm ready to bite my fingernails to the core with anticipation and anxiety, the doorbell rings.

I plaster a smile on my face and open the front door. Standing in front of me is Matt, a girl with short spiky blonde hair, and ...

"No way!" I say with a smile.

My physical therapist, Robert, opens his arms wide. "You didn't think I'd let you leave for Spain without one last goodbye, did you?"

I narrow my eyes at Matt. "Did you have this planned all along?" I ask him, as Robert hugs me like a brother.

"Yeah. So shoot me if we wanted to surprise you. Becca, this is Maggie. Maggie, Becca." While I greet Matt's girlfriend, Matt nudges Robert. "Maggie even put on makeup for you. I've never even seen her with makeup on."

My mom comes in the foyer, pretending she was just passing through on her way upstairs instead of having it all timed so that she could meet my "date."

"Robert?" she says, confused.

Robert, wearing a fashionable brown sports jacket to match his fashionable glasses says, "I couldn't let Maggie leave for an entire year without a goodbye celebration. She's my date tonight."

My mom has known Robert for almost two years now, ever since he came to the hospital after my surgery and was assigned to be my personal torture instructor ... I mean physical therapist. I used to fantasize about pulling his perfectly spiked hair right out of his head when he wouldn't give up on me and I desperately wanted him to.

More times than not, I cried in front of him. I hated when Robert expected me to push myself to the limit. When I thought I couldn't bend my leg any more, Robert would make me go one step further.

I didn't appreciate him at the time, that's for sure. It took us a while to become friends. I was actually entertained by all of his stories about dating girls. Robert is a self-proclaimed bachelor and says he'll never settle down because he gets bored easily when it comes to girls. He says just like he can't eat Chinese food every day, he can't date the same girl without getting the itch to find someone different.

I once told him he'd die a very lonely man, and his good looks would one day fade, but he didn't seem worried. The guy has way too much confidence, but I wouldn't trade him for anything.

After my mom hugs Robert and meets Matt and Becca, she says, "You kids stay out at long as you want. Just have fun."

We decide to go to Dusty's Sports Bar & Grill. They serve food in the restaurant, so as long as you don't drink, you can be there if you're under twenty-one. Robert is already twenty-four, and he orders a beer while the rest of us order sodas.

It's nice that my first real date is a nondate, so I don't have to obsess over whether or not my disability is going to be an issue.

"Maggie, have you been doing the stretching exercises we'd discussed before you went on your trip this summer?" Robert asks.

I take a fry from the basket we'd ordered and dip it in some ketchup. "Can I lie?"

Matt, Becca, and I all laugh while Robert shakes his head. It feels good to go out and get my mind off of Caleb. I feel like every minute my mind isn't occupied, it wanders to thoughts of him.

Like now. While I'm having a good time, way better than I expected, I wonder if Caleb would have his arm around me like Matt has his arm draped around Becca, if we were on a date. And the way she looks up at him reminds me of-

"I bet you've been stiff," Robert says.

Right. Back to the here and now. Stop thinking about Caleb.

I roll my eyes. "You're off duty. Remember, you're supposed to be my date tonight, not my therapist." My fingers make quotation marks in the air when I say the word "date."

"She did complain of stiffness on the trip," Matt chimes in. He holds his hands up when I mumble traitor. "I'm just sayin'."

Robert moves his chair back and says, "Give me your leg, Maggie."

I blow out a frustrated breath and rest my leg on his knee. "It's fine. I'm fine."

"Flex for me."

I look over at Matt and Becca across the table as I flex. "Better you than me," Matt says, chuckling.

"Do you give a physical exam to all your dates?" I ask Robert as he cradles my jean-covered calf in his hand and watches how far I flex.

"No." He winks at me. "It's a first for me."

If it were any other guy, that wink would be cheesy, but I bet Robert practiced it in front of the mirror until it looked cool.

I cock an eyebrow and say, "I don't fall for your charms."

"Really? Wait, let me try it again." He winks a second time.

"Nope, doesn't do it for me. Besides, it's really inappropriate," I tell him, totally joking and he knows it. He's given me such a hard time in the past, I feel it's only fair for me to return the favor. "I'm your patient."

"Not anymore, you're not. You quit physical therapy. You're fair game."

"Ugh, you're too old."

"I'm twenty-four. How can that be too old?"

"I think you have some gray hair, Robert."

Robert's mouth goes wide and his hand cups his perfect head of hair. "I. Do. Not."

"Umm, Maggie," Matt says, then coughs a bunch of times. "I think the guy you really want just walked through the door."